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This article is about the email where Strong Bad tours his Vaguely Military Career Fair. For the email where the Homestarmy tries to invade Strong Badia, see army.
Strong Bad Email #172
watch underlings the paper
"The Homestarmy has a career for you in the no-armed forces!"

Strong Bad gives us a tour of his Vaguely Military Career Fair.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat/Tito/Firebert, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Coach Z, The King of Town, The Poopsmith, Homestar Runner, Frank Bennedetto

Places: Computer Room, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Gymnasium, Strong Badia, The King of Town's Castle

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, May 21, 2007

Running Time: 3:40

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Six


[edit] Transcript

STRONG BAD: Bring to me a suitable email, that I may check it down.

{He says "Mr" as "Mere" and says "Hey, I am no mere Strong Bad, okay?!" after reading "Mr Strong Bad". He also reads "Paul, Perth" as one name.}

STRONG BAD: {clears screen, typing} Look Perthy Paul, I've been over this already: Strong Badia doesn't have/need {pronounces "have-slash-need"} an army. When we need muscle, we farm it out to our favorite band of shady missionaries, er I mean mercenaries, MERCENARIES! In fact, if your sons are so bonzer to enlist, they can just {doesn't type "just"} swing by their booth at our Vaguely Military Career Fair, which just happens to be starting right now!

{Cut to a wide shot of The Cheat next to Strong Bad. Strong Bad turns around to face him.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh, it's not for three weeks. Okay.

{Cut to a black screen reading "2 weeks later...". Cut to Strong Bad in his basement.}

STRONG BAD: Introducing...

{Cut to The Cheat on the couch, with a cane, a bowtie, and a top hat reading "Tito". He turns left and right and waves.}

STRONG BAD: ...Tito the Tophaticent! And his beautiful assistant,

{Cut to a wide shot of the basement, revealing Strong Mad standing behind the couch with two basketballs in his singlet. He waves. Silhouettes of Strong Bad and Strong Sad are visible.}

STRONG BAD: Strong Mad with two basketballs shoved down his singlet!

STRONG SAD: Yaaaay! {claps}

{Cut to a black screen reading "1 week later...". Cut to Strong Bad sitting at a booth in the gymnasium, wearing an eyepatch and a taped-on mustache. On the booth is a muffler, a stack of brochures, and a pipe. Coach Z walks by.}

STRONG BAD: Excuse me, Ganglo-Saxon. You look like the type of kid that gets his lunch handed to him daily. Well, if you'd like to be the lunch-handerer {raises his glove, revealing a robotic claw taped to it} for a change, then boy, do the On Point Kings have a brochure for you!

{Strong Bad puts the brochure on the table. It has the On Point Kings logo on top of a camouflage-style background.}

STRONG BAD: It's a Roman trifold {opens brochure} printed on 65-pound cardstock.

{The camera zooms in on the various features of the brochure.}

STRONG BAD: 14-point Helvetica, laid out using QuarkXpress! A pirated version of QuarkXpress!

{Flips open to another side of the brochure, which shows photos of the On Point Kings in action.}

STRONG BAD: We specialize in black ops, brown ops, and the occasional beige op.

{Cut to footage of Strong Badia, where a hopscotch grid has been drawn on the dirt. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat are there, all wearing fake mustaches. "CLASSIFIED" has been stamped on the screen. The Cheat starts hopping along the squares.}

STRONG BAD: Come on, The Cheat! Go for sixies! Sixies!

{Cut back to Strong Bad at the booth.}

STRONG BAD: How do you ever expect to get an {shows off his features as he says them} eye patch, mustache, or robotic arm like this— clank, clank— unless you join up with a shady band of missionaries? Oh, crap, I did it again! {camera moves away} Mercenaries, I meant mercenaries! {screen pans right and fades out} We do bad stuff!

{Cut to The King of Town at his booth. He is asleep while he is fed Giblet Gravy through a mask and tube. There is a TV on his table, as well as a sign reading, "Out to lunch Watch video" and an arrow pointing to the TV. Two posters are on the wall. Cut to the video, which shows a silhouetted The Poopsmith slowly climbing up the King's castle.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {voiceover} The drive... the power... the skills... the motivation... the power again...

{The Poopsmith has reached the top of the castle. He grabs his shovel.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {voiceover} The fortitude...

{The Poopsmith holds the shovel by his side.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {voiceover} The strive...

{The Poopsmith holds the shovel up to the dark, cloudy sky as lightning flashes.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {voiceover} The ideals...

{Lightning strikes the shovel, which gives The Poopsmith dark gloves, a gas mask, a club, and a shield.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {voiceover} The list of attributes...

{Zoom out on The Poopsmith, revealing a black and white poster with five Poopsmiths with the same gear. A King of Town logo is in the center and the words "The Municipality" are at the top.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {voiceover} The Municipality. {words appear as the King says them} Honor. Valor. Buttor.

{Cut to Homestar Runner's booth. Homestar is wearing an orange bowl on his head and is wielding an orange spoon. The table has the popcorn machine, Frank Bennedetto, behind a sign reading "Not free popcorn, memorial statue". There are two posters on the wall, one depicting Homestar wearing the same outfit, with the caption "Do You Has?", and another depicting the orange bowl and spoon, with the caption "Boond You Like?"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say, young man! Say, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man! {points a wooden spoon at viewer} You look like you come from a long line of five bucks-havers. Well, the Homestarmy has a career for you {points} in the no-armed forces!

{Cut to closeup of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say, you good at video games? I'm not good at video games. {chuckles} The last time I fired up one of my old Sega tapes, it made me a waffle. {zoom in} Say, you like pamphlets? {holds up a book of "Game Program Instructions" by Videlectrix} Here's a pamphlet! {tears book in half} Here's two pamphlets!

{Cut to the original wide shot.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say, you got a girlfriend? Well, what if your girlfriend was a {holds up spoon} wooden spoon and an {lifts bowl off his head} orange plastic bowl? {lowers eyelids} That'd be really weird, man. What kind of screwed-up kid are you? {angry} We don't recruit your kind! {waves spoon} Get out of here!

{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So that's fair, right Dinkum? You send your coolest son off to join the On Point Kings. He'll have to be jumped in. You send your fat son off to join The Municipality. He'll have to be {short pause} pooped in. And then you send your step-headed red-child off to certain doom in the Homestarmy. He's gonna wanna be jumped out. Well, I gotta go find the bicycle pump. Tito the Tophaticent's beautiful assistant's looking a little...lopsided.

{Strong Bad gets up and leaves. The Paper comes down with an odd, sick-sounding noise; it is crumpled and torn. Strong Bad peeks in from the right side of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Oh. That's a bad sign.

{Strong Bad leaves again.}

[edit] Easter Eggs

Fairly Religious Overtones!
  • Click on "Shady Missionaries" to see a Taranchula album of the same name.
  • When Homestar says "The last time I fired up one of my old Sega tapes, it made me a waffle", click anywhere on the screen to bring up a picture of a waffle iron with a Genesis-like controller and cartridge attached to it.
  • At the end, click on "Tito the Tophaticent's" to see a video clip:
{The Cheat, in his Firebert outfit, is standing in front of a sign that bears the Cheat Commandos logo and reads "Meet TV's Firebert!" After a long pause with cricket sounds, he takes out a fine tip red permanent marker and angrily replaces "Firebert" with "Trogdor." He smiles and sighs happily as a large crowd of people gathers around and mumbles to each other. The only discernible phrases are "Oh, Trogdor, man, it's Trogdor" and "He looks taller."}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • Mercenaries are hired soldiers not currently a member of any national armed forces organization, while missionaries preach religious teachings.
  • Strong Bad uses stereotypical examples of Australian English in his reply, "bonzer" (meaning excellent) and "fair dinkum" (meaning true or genuine).
  • Black ops are covert operations which involve activities of a legally or ethically questionable nature.
  • Giblet gravy is gravy with the giblets, or internal organs, of turkey or chicken. It is usually served with the type of poultry from which the giblets came.
  • "Jumping in" is a typical gang initiation ritual where new members are attacked by several gang members at once. The new member must fight back to prove himself before being accepted.
    • "Jumping in" also refers to airborne military troops being dropped into a combat zone via parachute.
  • "Step-headed red-child" is a spoonerism of "redheaded stepchild", an expression used to refer to a social outcast.
  • "Ganglo-Saxon" is a portmanteau of "gangly" and "Anglo-Saxon".
  • The brochure for the On Point Kings states that the version of QuarkXPress is registered to "B4KDØR H4XXØR" on the third inside page. This is a Leet-spelling of "Backdoor Hacker", a reference to computer hackers who use "backdoors" to crack software copy-protection.
  • Strong Bad's comment "You look like the type of kid that gets his lunch handed to him daily" could be explained as a portmanteau-like combination of "gets his [rear] handed to him" and "has his lunch money taken/stolen".
  • When Strong Bad mistakenly says "missionaries" instead of "mercenaries", he is making a Freudian slip.

[edit] Trivia

"Bro, sure!"
  • The label on the Floppy Disk Container reads "dark seed".
  • This email contains another instance of Strong Mad smiling.
  • Apparently, The Cheat himself voices Firebert on the Cheat Commandos cartoon (which is no surprise, as Firebert appears to be the only Cheat Commando incapable of speech).
  • When Strong Bad is explaining his brochure, an army style version of the Dangeresque theme is playing.
  • The various parts of the brochure read:


"Bro, sure!" All the ladies
love a man that has this
brochure in his back

{Hand-drawn picture of a stick figure jumping from a helicopter into water}

This could be you!!!

{Black-and-white photo of Strong Bad, Strong Mad and The Cheat – all three have fake moustaches and their eyes are censored}

Our three fourfathers. Identies unknown.

Clients include:
  • Strong Badia
  • The Cheat's sister
  • Joe Piscopo

Earn your 'stache

{fake moustache}

Made on a Quark Xpress
Registered to B4KDØR H4XXØR

  • The Podstar Runner description of this email reads "Strong Bad takes us on a tour of his Vaguely Military Career Fair."

[edit] Remarks

  • The font Helvetica is not present anywhere on the On Point Kings' brochure.
    • The font featured is called "Coolvetica," a derivative, cost-free alternative, which is a stylized modification of Helvetica Bold.
  • The Cheat does not receive any visitors until he replaces "Firebert" with "Trogdor". It is strongly implied that his initial unpopularity is due to the name "Firebert", which was criticized in army and again in Shopping For Danger.
  • After The Paper comes down, the Easter egg can still be clicked on before and while Strong Bad says his last line.
  • Strong Bad tells The Cheat to go for "sixies" while playing hopscotch. "Sixies" is actually a term used during the playground game of jacks, when a player tosses a ball in the air and grabs the jacks before the ball hits the ground six times in a row (as in "onesies", "twosies", threesies", etc.).

[edit] Goofs

Backwards Coach Z emblem
  • Coach Z's emblem is backwards.
  • As Strong Bad leaves the screen the first time at the end, part of his reflection appears on the wall behind the Lappy, and the right edge of the table disappears.
  • As Strong Bad enters the screen once The Paper comes down, his head appears behind the Paper.

[edit] Fixed Goofs

  • When Strong Bad showed his robotic arm, his glove did not appear. This was fixed later in the day.

[edit] Inside References

  • This email makes several references to army. These include:
    • Strong Bad's claim that he already said Strong Badia has/needs no army.
    • The memorial to Frank Bennedetto, the only casualty of The Battle of Strong Badia.
    • A poster at Homestar's booth is captioned with "Do you has?" In army, Homestar asks Strong Bad, "Do you has what it takes to join the Homestarmy?" This poster is also available as a downloadable wallpaper.
    • In army, Homestar tells his troops to give five bucks to the Homestarmy. Here, he states, "You look like you come from a long line of five-bucks-havers."
    • The Cheat Commandos first originated in army by having The Cheat dress as Firebert. In the Easter egg, his Firebert costume is seen again.
  • The Cheat's Tito costume is from part-time job.
  • The music during the Tito scene is from Strongest Man in the World.
  • The Municipality was previously mentioned in disconnected.
  • The Paper's poor condition is a reference to montage, where it's stated that "The Paper stuck around until email #173, at which time Strong Bad upgraded to an inkjet printer" (this email is #172).
    • The sound it makes is an extended version of the one from Sick Day.
  • The On Point Kings were first referenced in origins.
  • The smashed muffler and a pipe are sitting on Strong Bad's recruiting stand.
  • In his "Homestarmy" monologue, Homestar mentions Sega tapes.
  • The time displayed on the scoreboard is 3:14.
  • Homestar's line about pursuing a career in the "no-armed forces" references Homestar's lack of visible arms.
  • Strong Bad's costume, from when he is running the On Point Kings booth, features a mustache.
  • The sound The Cheat makes in the beginning of the Firebert Easter egg is similar to the one he made in mile after Strong Bad left.
  • The skeleton costume visible on the hands of the "shady missionary" on the cover of Taranchula's album was also worn by the guitarist in their Moving Very Slowly music video.
  • There is an appearance of feeding through a tube.
  • The waffle iron in the Sega tape Easter egg resembles the one that appears on Main Page 5.
  • The pamphlet has two examples of deliberately poor English: "forefathers" and "identities" are respectively written as "fourfathers" and "identies".
  • In the Easter egg, while The Cheat is waiting for people to come to his booth, cricket noises can be heard.

[edit] Real-World References

  • The Municipality video closely resembles "The Climb," a 2001 commercial for the US Marines.
    • Similarly, the Poopsmith's shield has "Pooper Fi" written on it, a parody of the US Marines motto "Semper Fi".
  • Joe Piscopo is an American comedian known for his work on Saturday Night Live.
  • QuarkXPress is a page layout application for Mac and Windows.
  • The pamphlet for the Homestarmy features the cover art for the Atari 2600 version of Space Invaders.
  • Strong Bad's mercenary costume closely resemblances that of Major Bludd, a mercenary from the G.I. Joe cartoon series.

[edit] Fast Forward

[edit] DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Mike Chapman)

{The commentary begins with Matt singing da-das to the tune of an action theme. He laughs slightly at the start of his second line, apparently at Mike's confusion.}

MIKE: Matt's singing a song, everyone, that {laughs slightly} I don't know where to go with.

MATT: It''s the On Point Kings'...{laughs slightly} A-Team-like—

MIKE: {simultaneously} Oh, okay.

MATT: —theme song that plays while they look at their brochure!

MIKE: {overlapping} I thought you were g— I thought it was just the actual A-Team ...

MATT: No. It's just shy {both laugh} of the actual A-Team song.

MIKE: {singing} You can pretend that you're Hannibal,

BOTH: {singing} Murdock or {Mike stumbles slightly} Face,

Or maybe B.A. Baracus,
you know each one is an ace.
Each is sold separately with rifle and gear,
When there's {both stumble} trouble to face,
You know the A-Team's here!

MIKE: There you go. A-Team. Toys commercial. {mumbling} We just...

MATT: {overlapping} Yeah, that's pretty good! That just came outta nowhere.

MIKE: Yeah., the A-Team toys, I mean, that show...was it for kids?

MATT: Uh, I think kids liked mohawks. A lot,—

MIKE: {simultaneously} Yeah.

MATT: —Mike, and so they had to do what they could. I dunno, I feel like it was—

MIKE: Well, for a primetime show? What primetime show now has action figures?

MATT: Yeah. That's true. Yeah, there's even a show...about comic-book superheroes {laughs slightly} that doesn't have action figures.

MIKE: Yeah!

MATT: Like, it's like, Lost...

MIKE: {overlapping} Uh...Dukes of...Dukes of Hazzard had...

MATT: Yeah! Yeah.

MIKE: Primetime shows don't cater towards ki—I guess, back then there was...far less kids' programming.

MATT: Yeah. Look at that robot claw! {Mike snickers} {Strong Bad displays the pamphlet} Oh, yeah. {closeup on the helicopter and stick figure} That could be you, {laughs slightly} Mike. {Mike snickers throughout} You could get chucked out of a...spindly helicopter. B4KDØR—B4KDØR H4XXØR was a thing that had been on our, uh...whaddaya call 'em—

MIKE: Dry erase board?

MATT: Yeah. One of several things that Strong Bad should say {chuckles} at some point.

MIKE: There's a—

MATT: {interrupting} We finally used it.

MIKE: The...Strong—the name of a digital camera—

MATT: {simultaneously} Yeah.

MIKE: that's still not been used.

MATT: D-I-X-I-T-A-L...?


MIKE: Dishtical cshamera? {both laugh}

MATT: Ohhh, he said missionaries.

MIKE: {overlapping} Look at that kind of, uh...


MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: {quietly} Look at that giblet container.

MIKE: We are some...pimply little teenager.

MATT: Yeah! {pause as they watch the Municipality video} Oh, man, that is an ominous-lookin' sky there. {pause; Mike makes a thunder sound effect along with the email} The few, the proud. That was prob'ly—I—I didn't go back and watch the...the...Marines commercial where the guy turns into a knight {Mike laughs} after climbing some big...rock? But, uh, I—it probably is alarmingly close—

MIKE: {simultaneously} Yeah.

MATT: —in terms of the cuts and stuff.

MIKE: Right.

MATT: Boond you like, Mike?

MIKE: Hmm?

MATT: {in an unidentifiable accent} Boond you like a lick with my flabotox? Boond you liiike? {Homestar prods his spoon at the camera} Ooh, look at that...P.O.V.-style spoon, {Mike snickers} too! {short pause} Sega tapes? Oh! That is not a pamphlet, Mike. That was a Space Invaders {both chuckle} instruction booklet. Which I...was very confused about the cover of Space Invaders, and Boston—

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: —album covers as a kid. I thought there was some link there.

MIKE: {laughing} I can see that!

MATT: I wanted, like—I thought maybe Boston...made {Mike laughs} 'Cause there was also the Journey...the Journey Escape game? was like, well, rock, there's—here's a...crossover...

MIKE: {overlapping} It was an obvious connection...between...

MATT: Yeah! Rock 'n' roll and video games...

MIKE: {simultaneously} Early '80s arena rock, and...

MATT: So, uh...y'know, those Space Invaders things...were...maybe they were guitars? {Mike snickers} With cities on them? {Mike continues laughing throughout} Like Boston would like you to have?

MIKE: Did we miss that part?

MATT: Yeah, we missed half this email.

MIKE: Ohh.

{The Paper comes down torn}

MATT: Ohh!

MIKE: Uh-oh. This is—must be near the end of the reign.

MATT: {overlapping} Madame—this does not Madame Bodewell. {Mike snickers}

[edit] Fun Facts

  • The A-Team was an 80's action show about four mercenaries who fight to protect the oppressed. It is perhaps best remembered for the mohawk-wearing character B.A. Baracus, portrayed by Mr. T.
    • The brothers nearly perfectly recall the song from an A-Team action figure commercial, which can be viewed here. This version of the commercial is likely not that which the brothers remember, but its lyrics are the same.
  • The Dukes of Hazzard was an action show in the 80's which featured the Duke brothers, Bo and Luke, who were constantly at odds with the corrupt politician Boss Hogg.
  • Heroes and Lost were both primetime action shows that were active at the time this email was released.
    • Heroes does in fact have some action figures, but they are not marketed to children in the way that A-Team action figures were in the 80's. They are largely intended as collectors' items.
  • Space Invaders is one of the best-known early arcade games. It is often cited as being one of the games which made video games a major industry worldwide.
  • Boston and Journey are both bands which had many of their hits in the early 80's.
    • Matt mentions Journey Escape, a 1982 game for the Atari 2600 in which the player guides Journey past "Love-Crazed Groupies" and similar foes in the band's attempt to escape after a concert.
  • Madame Bodewell is an unseen character from pet show.

[edit] Goofs

  • When The Paper comes down, the displayed text is not distorted and partially overlaps one of the rips. This is not present in the Flash version.

[edit] Fast Forward

  • The line "Each is sold separately with rifle and gear" later was used to describe the Topplegangers.
  • "Journey Escape" became the basis for "Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey" within the SBCG4AP episode Baddest of the Bands.

[edit] External Links

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