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Strong Bad Email #184
watch yes, wrestling nightlife
"The effects of cumulonimbus clouds on sheep, snowmen, and... cotton balls."

Strong Bad gives tips on how to create a "Middle School Appropriate" diorama.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, The King of Town, The Cheat, Peanut Strong Bad, Senor Cardgage (Easter egg), Coach Z (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Gymnasium (Easter egg), Coach Z's Locker Room (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, December 3, 2007

Running Time: 3:43

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Six


[edit] Transcript

STRONG BAD: I baked you this special email! It has... raisins.

{Strong Bad reads "Charlotte, N.C." as "Charlotte, Not Charlotte".}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, it's like you're no place! {typing} So you're telling me that Ms. Charbroiledburger, or whoever actually told you to make a crappy, really stupid diorama for an assignment? Now that's what I call edjakashun!! {clears screen} No sense in thinking about this one until you're on the bus on the way to school the morning it's due. Then it's time to whip out my old standby-orama:

{Cut to the desk, where a diorama with pencils, pens, an eraser and a bottle of glue inside falls down}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The Whimsical World of School Supplies!

{Cut back to the computer}

STRONG BAD: But dioramas shouldn't be wasted, Mollyman. This is probably the only school-approved opportunity to melt small plastic animals and shame our beloved literary characters that you're ever gonna get. I say embrace it! I say deface it!! {clears screen} Here are my tips: first off, behind every good diorama is an even gooder shoebox. So unless you wanna get called The Stride-Rite Kid for the rest of your life, you better go buy a pair of the—

{Cut to the desk. A red shoebox with "Air Cardgage" white-and-skyblue logo printed on its cover slides in from the right}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —coolest, most expensive shoes on the market.

{A pricetag with "37899" written on it appears with a ding}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or at least modify a {a lime green shoebox with "Dr. Soft-Soolnd's Tan Medical Shoes" written on it slides from the right in front of the Air Cardgage box} box of cheapo, generico shoes to look expensive.

{Strong Sad's hand slaps a piece of paper with "Slam-Dunking" written on it on the shoebox over the words "Tan Medical"}

{Cut out to see the Air Cardgage box, scissors and a hot glue gun. Strong Bad walks in from the right}

STRONG BAD: Now let's talk about topics. If the assignment calls for a science diorama, just slap some glue on some cotton balls and BANG!

{Cut to the Air Cardgage diorama, where a field and sky has been drawn}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The effects of cumulonimbus clouds {cotton balls appear in the sky, forming a cloud-like shape} on sheep, {sheep made out of cotton balls appear on the ground} snowmen, {a snowman made out of cotton balls appears on the right} aaaaand... cotton... balls. {a pile of cotton balls appear on the left} But if you're out of cotton balls, real chunks {The cotton balls transform to become more "jaggedy" and some of them gain red stains} of the King of Town's beard make a great substitute.

{A blood trace trickles down from the beardcloud}

{Cut to the King Of Town. There are several pink patches on his face from where Strong Bad ripped his beard out.}

THE KING OF TOWN: To be fair, I did eat all the cotton balls.

{Cut back to the desk with Strong Bad, the Air Cardgage diorama, scissors, hot glue gun, colored paper and glue bottle}

STRONG BAD: If you need to make some historical diorama, there's only one way to go: presidential assassinations.

{Cut close to the desk, where a Dr. Soft-Soolnd's Slam-Dunking Shoes diorama slides in from the left}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} You can immortalize such tragic moments in U.S. history {a cardboard White House appears in the background} as... the robot that effortlessly offed Jimmy Carter. {a robot made out of a toilet paper roll and Jimmy Carter doll made out of a clothespin appear. The robot's lights start to twinkle with computer-like sound effects} And if it's a book report diorama you're doing,—

{Cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: —the easiest way to get around reading an actual book is to make one up yourself! I can't tell you how many dioramas I got out of

{Cut to the Air Cardgage diorama, now with a purple sky, a sun and the King Of Town's castle the background plus King Of Town and a half-eaten Swiss Cake Roll in the foreground}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The King Of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland! {a sizeable number of cockroaches swarm around the Swiss Cake Roll, bashing King Of Town down} Books one through seven.

{Cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Though with the Internet, it's probably easier for teachers to check your sources than in my day. To get away with that now, you'd also have to make—

{Cut to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —a fake website for the book, {a website at www.bookazon.com appears, displaying information about "The King Of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland" by Ronmartin Realdude} and the author, {a bio and a silhouette with a question mark appear next to the book information} and the publisher, {a logo for Actual Publishing Company appears in the bottom of the screen} and just to be safe, {Download the eBook Now -button appears on the screen} maybe go ahead and actually write the book.

{The badly done cover for KoT's Cockroach Book appears}

{Cut back to Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Man. It's gotten so hard to cheat these days!

{The Cheat walks past in the background, carrying the Lappy}

THE CHEAT: {agreeing The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Finally, let me address your concerns about blood and gore. There's an easy loophole to exploit here, Molly. A little something I like to call... uh-dinosaurs. No teacher can argue,—

{Cut to an Air Cardgage diorama, with a prehistoric setting}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —that an Allosaurus {an Allosaurus appears} tearing apart its prey {a rubber duck appears} is bound to be pretty gruesome. {spaghetti and pasta sauce appears on the duck, on the ground and in the Allosaurus' mouth} And if that prey {rubber duck disappears} just happens to be the signers of The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, {a table and four clothespin people appear} well that's bound to be pretty messed up too. {pasta sauce and spaghetti appears on the people}

{Cut back to Strong Bad, looking at his diorama, smiling}

STRONG BAD: Oh, man, that is too awesome. I gotta get in on that action.

{Cut back to the prehistoric Air Cardgage diorama}

{Peanut Strong Bad walks in, holding a cocktail sword with an olive}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, take that, Nicholas Trist, representative for president James K. Polk! I'll teach you to mess with my Rio Grande! And my Rio Bravo! {Peanut Strong Bad pokes and hits the Nicholas Trist clothespin}

{Cut back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well Mollybdenum, you think you got enough to go on? You're gonna dioRAM their socks off! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go help that robot vaporize The Old Public Functionary!

{Strong Bad leaves, geddup noise}

{Cut to the green diorama, where the toilet paper robot is shooting a clothespin person. Peanut Strong Bad is standing by him}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Come on, Boltotron! Hit him with the Byoo-Cannon!

{A toilet paper roll with "Byoo-Cannon" written on it descends from above}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Byoo byo-byoo byoo byo-byo-byoo! {the Byoo-Cannon shoots red lights at the clothespin person}

{The New Paper comes down}

[edit] Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click the "Byoo-cannon" to see a clip with Senor Cardgage.
    SENOR CARDGAGE: {holding a shoe in one hand and a basketball in the other} Oh. Hello-quialism. {looks at what he's holding} Who are these guys?
    {Cut to an image of the shoe alone}
    ANNOUNCER: All new 2008 Air Cardgage! Only! {A price tag appears with that price on it.} Only at Styles Upon Styles!
    {Cut back to Senor Cardgage}
    SENOR CARDGAGE: This is not what I sagged on for. {The words also appear in a speech bubble next to his head.}
  • Also at the end, click Peanut Strong Bad to see a clip of Coach Z holding a notepad with a cell phone drawn on it.
    COACH Z: Well hey there Ronmartin Realdude. It's the big Z, just giving you a call on my new cell phone. What's that you say? Well I sure am flattered, Ronmartin, but I've already got a gorgeous girlfriend name o' Marzipan.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • The Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo was the treaty that ended the Mexican-American War. Nicholas Trist was indeed President Polk's representative at the negotiations.
    • Strong Bad's comment "I'll teach you to mess with my Rio Grande" references the dispute between Mexico and the United States over the border of Texas which was the alleged cause of the war. Texas claimed the border was the Rio Grande, while Mexico claimed it was the Nueces River.
    • The Rio Grande is known as the Rio Bravo in Mexico.
  • Molybdenum is a lead-like transition metal found in nature. Its symbol on the periodic table of elements is Mo.
  • "The Old Public Functionary" was a popular nickname for President James Buchanan.
  • Cumulonimbus clouds are a type of cloud that is tall, dense, and involved in thunderstorms and other intense weather.
  • An Allosaurus is a late Jurassic carnivorous dinosaur, similar to but somewhat smaller than the Tyrannosaurus.

[edit] Trivia

Written by a living, breathing person, not a cat.
  • The blurbs on bookazon.com read:
The King of Town's Adventures
In Giant Cockroachland
by: Ronmartin Realdude
A real book that exists.
3 pages.
copyright 1943?
the eBook Now!
Actual Publishing Company
est. 1904
About the author:
I'm a best-selling author
and I am NOT a cat!! I write
books and am a living,
breathing person, not a cat.
  • The summary for the Podstar Runner RSS feed reads, "Strong Bad describes some tried and true methods for creating a 'Middle School Appropriate' diorama."

[edit] Remarks

  • This is the first time that The King of Town's skin has ever been visible. He apparently has pink flesh and his face is entirely covered in hair.
  • The design on the Air Cardgage shoebox is Senor Cardgage's hair.

[edit] Goofs

  • When Strong Bad clears the screen after typing "I say deface it!", another cursor is visible next to the word "Mollyman".

[edit] Inside References

[edit] Real-World References

  • Stride Rite is a shoe maker of several mid priced brands, such as Keds and Saucony. The Stride-Rite brand is specifically for small children.
  • "Air Cardgage" is a play on the Air Jordan shoes endorsed by Michael Jordan.
  • Jimmy Carter was the 39th President of the United States of America from 1977 to 1981. Caricatures of Carter frequently emphasize his mouth, lips and teeth.
    • The plot device of a robot assassinating Jimmy Carter was also used in the pilot episode of the short-lived Fox prime-time show "The Tick".
  • Dr. Soft Soolnd's is a parody of Dr. Scholls.

[edit] Fast Forward

[edit] DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Ryan Sterritt, Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman)

RYAN: Do you think they still make— kids make dioramas in school, Mike?

MIKE: I hope so. I'm gonna make my kid make 'em.

MATT: Yeah. It was always great when you could do a diorama instead of a book report.

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: That was a good way out.

MIKE: {chuckling} Mm-hmm.

MATT: It was like the early version of making a video. {unintelligible}

MIKE: Yeah, that's what I was just gonna say.

MATT: You think... I mean, teachers have to be on to making a video from projects now, right?

RYAN: I would think so, yeah. Matt, it was a little before my time, though. We made some videos.

MIKE: We made that video for, uh... chemistry.

RYAN: Yeah.

MIKE: But we did a Wayne's World.

RYAN: Yeah. Good job.

MIKE: 1990—80—91.

RYAN: Matt was the king of making a video instead of actually doing any work.

MATT: I'd just do it the night before. I had put some music on there— some titles. I had a title word.

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: So there'd be titles, and music in the background. Maybe make it black and white?

RYAN: I remember doing this thing about ships and vessels.

MIKE: Maybe solarise? Negative?

MATT: {laughs} Yeah. {pause} Uh, so there was— what was it? There was something I do remember making on the bus. It wasn't a diorama, but there was a... project that I 100% made. {chuckles}

RYAN: It was a terrarium! {laughs}

MATT: That's right. I remember, like, the bus was like, in the— it was— the bus would pick us up in the cul-de-sac. {Mike laughs} And Mom was just like, "Here—" she had her glass bars. Like I remember, like right then, Mom was like, "Well, here", and just like, w— maybe the bus wasn't there yet. Yeah, waiting at the bus stop, I like, grabbed stuff... {Mike and Ryan laugh} and made a terrarium. So it wasn't on the bus, technically. I did some... tweaking on the bus. {Mike laughs} But... waiting at the bus stop, I made a terrarium. And we were supposed to have, like, made it three weeks ago, and like, had it, like—

{a car horn is heard in the background}

MATT:{unintelligible} and stuff. Yeah.

MIKE: {simultaneously} It was supposed to be...

MATT: But I am sure I probably got— got by.

MIKE: Yeah.


MATT: Um... I like those little sheep.

MIKE: Ugh, that's disgusting. {Matt starts to say something} This is another instance of blood.

MATT: {laughs} Sure.

MIKE: This is another instance of the King of Town's mustache.

MATT: Yeah, how about the King of Town having any— he's got flesh—

MIKE: Uh-huh.

MATT: —though his whole face is covered with fur.

MIKE: He's got an... inch of white cotton...

MATT: {simultaneously} {unintelligible} from Argentina.

MIKE: {laughs}

MATT: {imitating} Oh, look at that!

MIKE: Oh man. Jimmy Carter's smile is big. Man, that guy has a big smile, and he is from the South. {Matt chuckles} Those are two things I know about {French-style pronunciation} Cartier. {pause} Um... we should make a pair of, um... Air Cardgages.

MATT: I know, we should. Uh, we should do— we should just do it! 'Cause can't you get those custom Nikes to just say whatever you want on them?

MIKE: Oh, yeah.

MATT: I bet they probably would reject it if we had "Air"—

MIKE: Air something.

MATT:{unintelligible} they would probably be like, "No, that's stepping on our toes."


MIKE: I like that actual publishing company logo.

{all laugh}

MIKE: Looked like a 70s real estate company logo.

MATT: {laughs} Uh, yeah, that's another thing that I wonder about... book reports. Making up sources for book reports.

MIKE: Yeah, it used to be so easy.

MATT: Yeah. I used this book, though, called The Little Chief. It was a Syd Hoff book—

MIKE: I remember that, yeah.

MATT: —like, way late. {Mike laughs} I may have brought this up in a commentary before, but I mean— I remember... this book, it's like... you know, there's like, maybe 10 words on every page, {Mike chuckles} and I did it, like, in 3rd grade or something. Passed off a book report.

MIKE: Oh, n— {laughs}

MATT: I probably read that on the bus, too.

MIKE: I remember, I was doing a book report for a biography book about Walter Payton.

MATT: Uh-huh.

MIKE: And it was so long, I remember after it was, like, 8 pages long, I think I remember thinking I was so smart, because of how long this book report was.

MATT: Uh-huh.

MIKE: And I was just like, paraphrasing every sentence in the book.

MATT: {laughs}

MIKE: I remember Mom telling me, basically, being like, "This is not a book report."

MATT: {laughs}

MIKE: I was embarrassed.

MATT: Pew-pew-pew-pew! Like a laser pointer.

MIKE: Remember when those were problems at movie theatres?

[edit] Fun Facts

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