shapeshifter

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Strong Bad Email #192
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"I said a tiger, not a poodle!"

Strong Bad explains why shapeshifting isn't as attractive as it sounds.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Marzipan, Bubs, Coach Z, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, March 31, 2008

Running Time: 4:04 official, 4:07 actual

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Six

Contents

[edit] Transcript

STRONG BAD: Back again. Checking email from my friends. I mean, the stupid people that write me.

{Strong Bad reads "waht" as "waaaaaat," with high inflection. He also reads "Paxton Westergard Anacortes, Washington" as the sender's full name.}

STRONG BAD: Ugh. You'll never be a weatherman with a name like that. How about just... Paxto West? {typing} Now you might think I'd be all over this shapeshifting business Paxto, but if comic books, cartoons, and Sci-Fi Original Movies have taught me anything, it's that shapeshifting comes with a bunch of boring rules and restrictions that limit its potential Turn-Into-A-Bulldozer-Whenever-I-Wantity. {clears screen, speaks in mocking voice} You can turn into a machine gun but not bullets, contemporary jazz turns you back to normal, you can only turn into presents your grandma's knitted for you. {speaks normally} Crap like that. For example, let's say I could turn into any species... OF BALLOON ANIMAL!!??

{Cut to the Field. Strong Bad, Marzipan and The Cheat are there. The Cheat's fur is messed up and he's foaming at the mouth}

STRONG BAD: Look out! A rabid The Cheat! I'll handle this!

{The scene pauses like a video tape}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh yeah. Another thing about shapeshifting is that you have to have a cool trademark sound effect that happens every time you change forms.

{The scene unpauses}

STRONG BAD: Shapeshift unto... A Sumatran tiger! DWAYNE!

{The word "DWAYNE!!" appears above Strong Bad and fades, as it continues to do every time he shapeshifts. Strong Bad turns into a pink, four-legged balloon animal}

STRONG BAD: I said a tiger, not a poodle! {with an annoyed tone} DWAYNE. {Turns into a blue balloon animal of the same shape, but with a different tail and droopy nose.} A tiger, not a donkey. Dwayne. {The sound effect appears in lowercase and has an even more annoyed tone to it, and Strong Bad turns into an orange balloon animal, still of the same shape, but with shorter ears and muzzle.} That's better. Now stand back! {The wind starts to blow Strong Bad away and Marzipan watches him pass her.} Um...

{The Cheat jumps at Marzipan and she turns around and gasps. Then the scene is paused again.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ooh, but what if I could turn into legal tender? {Cut to Strong Bad approaching Bubs' Concession Stand} One of the only good legal things in existence.

STRONG BAD: Say, Bubs. How much for that Lamborghini hot tub you got back there?

BUBS: The what? {Looks down} Oh! That Lamborghini hot tub. It sure is back here! That'll run you one hundred... {Bubs and Strong Bad jerk their heads back twice} dollars.

STRONG BAD: Swedish deals! Shapeshift unto... A hundred dollar bill! DWAYNE!

{Strong Bad turns into a hundred dollar bill, which floats down onto the counter, then is blown away by the wind.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So... Apparently wind is a pretty big problem for most shapeshifters.

{Cut to Coach Z walking along. Strong Bad floats nearby.}

COACH Z: Hey, check it out! A Benjamin! {Snatches Strong Bad out of the air and puts him in a pocket, causing drops of liquid to go flying} I'll just tuck you into the loose band of my sweaty-sweat-sweats! {Hits his waist for emphasis. More liquid goes flying}

{Cut to Strong Bad lying on the floor next to his computer chair}

STRONG BAD: {distressed} Blaaaaaaaggghhhh! Hang on. Lemme try again. What if I could turn into... almost anyone in the world? Is that too much to ask?

{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat in the Field. They are standing next to a large structure made from round objects}

STRONG BAD: Don't worry! I know just how to get us through this ten-foot thick wall of pecan cheese balls! Shapeshift unto... The King of Town! DWAYNE! {Turns into the King of Town. His voice stays the same, however} Norwegian deals! It worked! This should only take a few seconds! {He leans forward and makes chomping noises. The wall of pecan cheese balls is unaffected} R— why isn't this working? {Turns side on. Half of him is missing. Strong Bad speaks bitterly} Oh, I get it. {The Cheat screams and runs away} I can turn into almost anyone. Well, two can play at this game, dumb rules of shapeshifting!

{Cut to Strong Bad, back in his normal form, at Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs isn't there}

STRONG BAD: Say Bubs, I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub for free, please. Shapeshift unto Bubs! DWAYNE! {Strong Bad turns into Bubs's legs} Oh man! I turned into the wrong "almost". This plan was supposed to be foolproof. All anybody ever sees is Bubs' ample top portions!

COACH Z: {Offscreen} Oh Bubs! Oh Bubs! I'm coming to your concession stand to talk to you!

STRONG BAD: Wait. Maybe I can still make this work! {He jumps onto the counter, turning himself upside-down in the process}

{Coach Z comes onscreen}

COACH Z: Hey, nice headstand, Bubs. I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub, please. {pulls out some money from his pocket} Allow me to use this moistened hundred dollar bill I found earlier today.

STRONG BAD: Wait, what?

{Strong Bad the balloon animal floats past}

COACH Z: Oh look! A giraffe!

{Cut back to Strong Bad sitting at his computer}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Uh, that was confusing. See what I mean? Shapeshifting is laden with confusing troubles and a severe lack of hot tubs.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Oh Strong Bad! Oh Strong Bad, I'm coming to your computer desk to talk to you!

STRONG BAD: {quietly} Oh crap! DWAYNE!

{Strong Bad turns into a colorful scarf, with a tag on it reading "From: Grandma". Homestar walks in holding a chessboard with a glob of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles and a cherry on top and assorted chess pieces.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} Oh. It's you again, scarf from Grandma! Never mind.

{He turns and walks away}

STRONG BAD: Phew. Maybe it's not all bad. Thanks, G-mom's.

{New Paper comes down}

[edit] Easter Eggs

"Local weather with Tire!"
  • Click on the words "Paxton Westergard" after Strong Bad says "Paxto West" to see a picture of the Tire as a weather forecaster.
  • At the end click on Strong Bad to make him shape shift from the scarf to the balloon donkey, a $100 bill, Bubs's legs, Strong Bad, and back to the scarf, along with "Dwayne!" shape shifting sound effect.
  • Clicking on the diskette box at the end yields this secret code: 3uSyK2RdlUY, which is the YouTube video ID for Strong Bad Gameways.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

[edit] Trivia

  • The label on the Floppy Disk Container reads relentless.
  • Initially, this toon was released without the Easter egg leading to Strong Bad Gameways. It was added over a day later.
  • If the mound of pecan cheese-balls really is ten feet thick at its center, then Strong Bad is slightly more than four feet, six inches tall.
  • The summary of the Podstar Runner RSS feed reads, "Strong Bad explains why shapeshifting is overrated".

[edit] Remarks

  • In the Easter egg at the end, Strong Bad appears in front of New Paper rather than behind it, as he normally does.
  • When the video pauses when The Cheat pounces on Marzipan, the hills in the background shake and distort from the video, but The Cheat's hair (which is in front of the hills) is not affected.
  • When you click on Strong Bad at the end when he's a hundred dollar bill, the bill dilates before turning into Bubs' feet. Strangely, that's the only time that happens throughout the toon.

[edit] Inside References

[edit] Real-World References

  • "Sci-Fi Original Movies" refers to the Sci Fi Channel, a TV network that specializes in science fiction and speculative fiction programming.
  • Lamborghini is an Italian automobile manufacturer known for its high-performance vehicles.
  • The reference to turning into machine guns but not the bullets refers to a scene in the movie Terminator 2 in which Arnold Schwarzenegger explains the extent of the T-1000's shapeshifting ability: to change into any solid metal shape, but not guns and explosives that have chemicals or moving parts.
  • The way Strong Bad says "shapeshift unto" whatever is in a similar style to The Wonder Twins.

[edit] DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Homestar Runner, Ryan Sterritt)

MIKE: Ryan's holding a guitar. Well, let's see if he plays it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: And I'm holding... a tambourine.

MIKE: Ohhhh!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {imitating tambourine sounds} Shicka-shicka-shick!

MIKE: That's not a tambourine.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Did you hear it?

MIKE: No.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shicka-shicka-shick!

MIKE: All right, now let's do a little duet.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah.

MIKE: Ryan?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shick. {a tapping noise is heard} Shick. Shick.

{Ryan plays three guitar chords}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Shick! Shick! Shick!

{Ryan plays a single guitar chord}

MIKE: All right, guys.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a good song!

MIKE: That was not a good song. Let's, uh... let's jump into this commentary now!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, so Ryan is the voice of TV's Piglet.

RYAN: {unintelligible}

MIKE: {laughs} Let's hear a little. Ryan, do your Piglet.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {simultaneously} So I... give us a little Piglet.

RYAN: Right, give me a line. Lead me into it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uh... "Put that gun down, Tigger!"

RYAN: Oink. Oink. Waiting, don't do that.

MIKE: Don't—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pretty good!

MIKE: All right.

RYAN: Let's go.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So Little— one time, Little Girl, from Puppet Stuff with Little Girl, thought that Ryan was the voice of Piglet. But we can't remember why she thought that. {laughs}

MIKE: I have a feeling you told her that, Homestar. {Ryan laughs}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sing-song} I don't think I diiid!

MIKE: So—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a nice tracking up there.

RYAN: I know.

MIKE: {unintelligible}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Looks like... uh... Dwayne! The word "Dwayne" always makes me think of, um, uh... the most electrifying man in sports entertainment.

MIKE: Dwayne Johnson?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah.

MIKE: {laughs} Is he the only Dwayne out there?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: He's the only Dwayne worth it in salt.

MIKE: Uh... why was The Cheat rabid in that part?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um... because...

RYAN: {simultaneously} Was that a {unintelligible}?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I bit him.

MIKE: Uh... {on the verge of chuckling} Really?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. I wanted him to attack Marzipan. In the face. So she'd shut up for a while. It may be the worst thing I ever done.

MIKE: Look at Bubs' Concession Stand... has some tufts of grass in front of the base this time.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh... he needs to get out there and trim 'em!

MIKE: {laughs} Yeah, he missed a few spots.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, Bubs! What gives?

MIKE: He's got short arms.

{pause until Strong Bad turns into the dollar note}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa! A Benjamin! {pause} What would you guys turn into if you could turn into anything great?

MIKE: Umm...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No—

MIKE: Cottage cheese.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah?

MIKE: Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But you'd get eaten.

MIKE: N— Probably not. Cottage cheese—

RYAN: {unintelligible} a lot.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I like— I love cottage cheese!

MIKE: A little scoop of cottage cheese in a cafeteria— old folks' home cafeteria.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, is the pineapple on the baby?

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah...

RYAN: Mandarin orange...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, he'd never get eaten if he were— while at an old folks' place, oh, he'd get eaten before he'd— could say... s... s...

MIKE: {overlapping} After 4 PM, I'd never get eaten.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Sign my will!

MIKE: {laughs} Ugh, we had a real hard time drawing these pecan... cheese balls.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, it looked like they were covered in roaches, Mike.

MIKE: {overlapping} They'd never look good. Uh, we tried, like, ten different methods, and they all looked terrible.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {simultaneously} With a bunch of Gavins. A bunch of Gavins on top.

MIKE: {simultaneously} Looked like... a bunch of leapord print bottoms.

RYAN: Yeah. Like a...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh-hoo!

MIKE: Butt—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Butts wearing leopard print pants?

RYAN: Leopard cantaloupe.

MIKE: A wall of leopard butts.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Leopard butts! {in the email, Strong Bad turns into Bubs's legs} You know what I would turn into?

MIKE: What's that?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cylinder 1!

MIKE: Cylinder 1?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah.

MIKE: Uh... why not cylinder 2?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh man, Cylinder 2... was like, that was the one where they changed the interface, and like, you couldn't download updates, like live, {unintelligible}.

MIKE: {chuckles} Cylinder 2.0, you mean?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, {unintelligible}

MIKE: Okay. {pause} I'm having a hard time following what's going on in this...

{all laugh}

HOMESTAR: This is a real bad one. This is one of your worst, Mike.

MIKE: {still laughing} Look what happened to the back of Bubs's. It's hollow now.

RYAN: Yeah. You know...

MIKE: Silhouettes.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: This is just— You guy— Eh, you guys have really let things fall apart, Mike, I gotta say.

MIKE: {chuckles} Yeah?

RYAN: Yeah.

MIKE: We should've— we should've paid attention. I think...

{In the email, Homestar announces his arrival}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, here I come!

MIKE: Oh.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, wait a minute, I remember this day! I beat the pants off that scarf at chess later on!

MIKE: Chess?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah.

MIKE: Why was there a scoop of... possibly cottage cheese on the middle of that chessboard?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {excited} It was you, Mike! It was you!

MIKE: It was! See? Genius.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] External Links

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