Marzipan's Outgoing Messages

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"Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Hey!"

Marzipan once said that the outgoing messages she leaves in Marzipan's Answering Machine are like her "adopted foreign babies". Here is a list of them, including some that appeared in toons of other genres.

[edit] The Greetings

Version Greetings
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 1.0 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out looking at the fall colors. Please leave me a message, and I'll call you right back.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 2.0 Hi, this is Marzipan. Leave me a message. I am screening my calls today, but I'll pick up if I feel like it. See you later.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 3.0 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm feeling very vivacious today. Please leave me a message.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 4.0 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out doing some very important things, so please leave me a message, and if this is Strong Bad calling to prank call me, can you please do the one where I win the radio contest? 'Cause that one's my favorite. Okay. Bye.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 5.0 Hi, this is Marzipan. {singing} Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Hey! Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Hey! Leave me a messa—
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm sittin' in my dark room... thinkin'. Please leave me a message.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0 Ooo! Oooo! Happy Halloween, don't be too scared... 'cause it's Halloween. Please leave a message. This is Marzipan.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 8.0 Bonjour, amigos. Je m'appelle Marzipanio. Please leave me a messiaggio and I will call you back-io. Toodle-oo toots, everyone.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2 Hi, this is M-A-R-Z-I-P-A-N. Please leave me a message after the B-E-E-P.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hey, this is Marzipan... and, uhm... leave a message after my beeps. Beep.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2 Hi guys! Leave me a message, and I'll leave you with an abstract thought. Is a penguin a bird or a duck?
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 11.2 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm out expanding my horizons. Leave me a message.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 12.2 Yeah, yeah. Leave a message.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 13.2 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm probably outside eating some dirt or something. So just leave me a message.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 14.2 Aloha, this is Marzipan. I'm lounging on the lanai, enjoying a wheatgrass-tini, in my wheatgrass-kini. Please leave a mauka-makai-message.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm currently drowning in the abyss, but please leave me a message anyway.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2 Hi this is Marzipan. I'm off volunteering in the Coches Mountains, teaching the heathens how to bend pipe cleaners. I'll be back in—
STRONG SAD: Greetings weary telephone traveler. I sense you have come in search of Marzipan, but you have stumbled upon so much more. 'Tis I, Strong Sad, house-sitter extraordinaire. Please organize your thoughts for Marzipan in order of least depressing to most depressing. As for crank calls, allow me to give you a theme: furtive glances.
STRONG SAD: Marzipan be gone! Strong Sad be here, so drop your purpose in mine ear! I'll pass it on before too long...
STRONG SAD: Hello, this is Strong Sad, temporary steward of Marzipan's domicile. Please leave your jumbled message at the tone, so I can articulately reword it in journal form for Marzipan to read upon her safe return.
Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 Hi, this is Marzipan. I'll be out and about for about seven years, so I'll give you a call back after that. Thank you!

[edit] Greetings Used In Other Toons

Toon Greetings
Where's The Cheat? Hi, this is Marzipan. Please leave me a message.
personal favorites Hi! This is Marzipan.
Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon Hi, this is Marzipan.
garage sale It's a great day at Marzipan's! Please leave me a message.
Jibblies 2 Boo! This is Marzipan. Leave me a spooky message.
Homestar Ruiner This is Marzipan. I can't come to the phone right now, because my boyfriend (more like my ex-boyfriend) is a louse. Please leave a message after the beep. Unless you're Homestar, in which case you should jump in a polluted lake.
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