Strong Bad Plays Walkabout Mini Golf's Homestar Runner Distraction Pack!

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Strong Bad and Mike Chapman play the Homestar Runner Distraction Pack with the creator of Walkabout Mini Golf.

Cast (in order of appearance): Lucas Martell, Strong Bad, Mike Chapman

Date: Monday, June 29, 2026

Running Time: 53:27

[edit] Transcript

{Three floating disembodied heads are holding putters in the field next to the brick wall.}

LUCAS: Hey there, everybody. I'm Lucas Martell, creator of Walkabout Mini Golf. And today we've got {points with club to his companions} Mike Chapman and Strong Bad.

MIKE: {waving club} Hi.

STRONG BAD: {waving club} Hi there!

LUCAS: We figured we would take a little tour of the Strong Badia. So let's uh— {walks off} —yeah, let's just head over and check out...

{They go to Bubs' Concession Stand.}

LUCAS: We got Bubs' Concession Stand...

STRONG BAD: Oh man, this looks awesome. Hang on. I'm going to go in there and sell some hot dogs.

{Strong Bad's head goes around the back and into the stand.}

MIKE: I'm in line.

STRONG BAD: There's nothing back here but a cooler full of not human organs. I was hoping I could get some snow cone syrup.

MIKE: {overlapping} Some... snow cone syrup. Could you just give me a... give me a few spots of snow cone syrup?

STRONG BAD: We got gray syrup. We got, uh... taupe syrup. And we got, uh... charcoal, ashy gray charcoal flavored syrup. My favorite snow cones.

MIKE: You've got Onion Bubs back there. Maybe some sort of like, could you like sauté them up with some of the... the ashy syrup or something?

STRONG BAD: That'd be pretty good.

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah, that'd be good.

STRONG BAD: Get some caramelization on there.

MIKE: Onion Bubs, blossom of some kind.

LUCAS: Bloomin' Bubs?

MIKE: Yeah.

{Strong Bad is on the mini-golf course. The Stick is standing in front of the hole.}

STRONG BAD: I'm about to nail this one. Ready? Putt!

{Strong Bad putts the ball.}

MIKE: Ohhh, you got a little air off the Stick.

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} I hit the Stick! Yeah, but wait, why didn't I win? I hit the Stick. Isn't that what you're supposed to do?

LUCAS: Well, that's... no, the hole's right here.

STRONG BAD: I nailed it! First try— {audio cut} —where they just stuck a stick in the green? What an innovation!

LUCAS: Ehh, it's an obstacle. It's an obstacle.

{Mike putts the ball into the hole and a Homestar voice clip plays.}

MIKE: Oh, look at that!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that sounded like Homestar.

{Lucas putts the ball into the hole.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: P-A-R. Pretty average, Ron.

STRONG BAD: Oh, what the—? I don't want to hear that guy. What's he doing in my game?

LUCAS: I mean, this is the Homestar Runner Distraction Pack. So, you know, he's in there, and... Strong Sad {indecipherable}

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} I thought we agreed it was— this is the Strong Bad's Glistening Abs and Oiled Rubdown Pack, I thought, is what we agreed on. I know that's not really in the game, but I thought we would— just for marketing purposes, we'd fool a lot of people, you know, into buying it.

LUCAS: Yeah, I think the ratings board had some issues with that when we tried to push it past them.

STRONG BAD: What? I'm talking PG rubdowns. These are strictly therapeutic rubdowns. Ain't you ever been on a cruise?

MIKE: I know that's...

{Strong Bad sinks a putt.}

STINKOMAN'S VOICE: Double bogey!

STRONG BAD: Oh, I got Stinkoman. That's pretty awesome.

MIKE: But you got a really bad score.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, but then I got a really awesome guy saying some words. {walking to the next hole} Oh, look at the Tire. The tire escaped the confines of Strong Badia. It's on the run! It's on the loose!

MIKE: Hit it, Strong Bad. We can...

LUCAS: Whack it back over.

{The players hit the Tire so it bounces around.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! Look at that.

MIKE: All right, I'm going to putt. I'm going to go... Strong Bad, give me... Strong Bad, go stand, uh... I need a target to try to get the angle of this. Stand kind of right over by... no, yeah, right there...

STRONG BAD: I'm going to stand in the pancakes and I'm going to eat the pancakes.

{Strong Bad's head stands in the wagon as he pretends to eat them.}

MIKE: And sing the song. Sing the song.

STRONG BAD: {singing, to the tune of the Wagon Fulla Pancakes montage} Doot doo-doot doot doot, doot doot. Doot doo-doot doot doot, doot doot.

MIKE: Oh, that was terrible.

STRONG BAD: {singing} Mike's bad at mini golf.

MIKE: Lucas. Lucas. I want to see Lucas do this because I don't know that this one's possible to get the good angle.

LUCAS: {putting} There we go.

MIKE: Oh, dang it, it's like that, okay.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Look at that! You gotta go {imitating a ball bouncing off the walls} ping-pong-PANG!

LUCAS: I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty good at golf after six years of doing this.

MIKE: {laughing} I would hope so. And after— {Strong Bad putts} oh, that was pretty good too.

LUCAS: That was pretty good. I didn't know you were that into golf.

STRONG BAD: Uuum, I'm not. {Mike putts} That's all.

MIKE: That's— that's me.

STRONG BAD: Mike is doing great.

MIKE: That's me.

STRONG BAD: It's 'cause you're using the Homestar putter, Mike.

MIKE: That's true, do you...

STRONG BAD: {mocking} Oh, I'm the Homestar Runner putter. I'll make you be terrible at mini golf.

{The ball is sunk. Homestar Runner's voice sings.}

STRONG BAD: Here we go. Birdie, on the way.

{Strong Bad sinks the ball.}

COACH Z'S VOICE: Birdie, birdo, birdorb.

STRONG BAD: What the crap was that?

MIKE: Nice pyrotechnics. You got some pyrotechnics.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, but it was Coach Z. I don't want to listen to that creep.

LUCAS: We locked you in the recording booth for a solid like six months. So I know that there's a... there's a Strong Bad hole celebration.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, well, why is everybody— why isn't that the default? You should just make that be the default in your entire game, no matter if they bought my DLCs or not. {imitating a golf commentator} It's a long par 5 to... Mike's butt.

MIKE: I'm the only one left. I'm the only one left. I've got my own private...

STRONG BAD: Where's your ball? I can't even see it.

MIKE: It's right here in the corner. It's right tucked away in the corner.

STRONG BAD: So yeah, so these— these two by fours, this is all temporary, right? Like the final version of this will be like, you know, these really slick like metal alloys and like cool laser stuff, right?

LUCAS: Well, so Bubs kind of put this one together. Uh, it's a—

STRONG BAD: {turning toward the concession stand} Bubs!

LUCAS: It's kind of hastily assembled. So no, I think we're sticking with the two by fours. It really, to me, it has the right feel of Strong Badia, kind of cobbled together and... yeah, just, uh...

{The players float over to the Strong Badia hole.}

STRONB BAD: What are you talking about? Just look at this construction. {gesturing to the Strong Badia flag} Do you know how much—? These are the most galvanized nails known to man, that I used on this thing over here.

MIKE: Yeah, we're going with your use—

STRONG BAD: Talk about... "thrown together". "Shoddy construction". This is legit!

LUCAS: We just wanted to take this entire sort of like vibe and just use it everywhere. So, we've got nails— in fact, there's nails sticking out of everything. I felt like that was a really good— ooh, I found a lost ball.

{The players move to find Frank Benedetto lying next to an orange bowl.}

STRONG BAD: All right. I'll allow it for now counselor, but you're on thin ice.

MIKE: {simultaneously} Oh yeah, Strong Bad, did you know that there's... There's 18 secret lost balls hidden across here, Strong Bad, that you can try to find.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I found them already. I'm pretty much the best at that.

{The players are now peeking around Marzipan's gazebo. Tofu Homestar stands inside it, and Carboard Homestar, Cardboard Marzipan and Marzipan's guitar Carol are around it.}

MIKE: Oh, did you see Marzipan's guitar over here? Sorry, we're moving off-track.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Yeah! Can I smack it? {strikes it with the putter, playing a chord}

MIKE: It works.

STRONG BAD: Oh, there we go. That's pretty awesome. Do it again!

{A wicked riff and some chords play.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, that's awesome. That's like Limozeen level. Pick slide. All right. What hole are we on? I already forgot.

MIKE: Uh... we're like on three? Three.

STRONG BAD: Oh, we're on the Senor Cardgage hole!

{The players move to find Senor Cardgage's bush.}

LUCAS: Oh, I can hear him in there.

MIKE: Yeah, look at that Aldi— look at that, uh, grocery bag.

STRONG BAD: He's just as incomprehensible as ever. How do I get him to talk to me some more? Come on, Cardgage. Come out! {listens to the bush} He fabricated himself indoors! He's so full of wisdom.

{Lucas putts.}

STRONG BAD: All right, so this one— this has got one of those {makes a sound as the ball curves along a slope}. Yeah, that's what I call that move. You gotta kind of got to kind of {makes the same sound} right over that hill. Here we go.

MIKE: Let's see.

STRONG BAD: Here we go! Cardgage. I got to make him proud. {putts} Constabulations, Myfelda! That's the kind of thing he'd say.

LUCAS: Yeah, probably.

{Mike putts, curving the ball's trajectory along a slope.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, stop horning in on my style. Trying to copy me.

{The ball is sunk.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Double hooray!

LUCAS: Yeah! I love Homestar, he's my favorite.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Shut up, Homestar!

MIKE: I like that confetti. The confetti is really nice. It's just like as if Homestar threw it himself.

{The ball is sunk.}

COACH Z'S VOICE: Ya done a great bord...ie. Birdie.

STRONG BAD: Coach Z again?

LUCAS: There is a lot of you in this game. You just have to...

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: I'm gonna say that's a birdie. Yep. Definitely a birdie.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, you have to what? You have to pay top dollar for it because I'm so... baller.

LUCAS: You've got to earn it. You've got to look around a little bit. Yeah. But we really wanted all of the characters in this game. You know, we didn't want it to be, you know, just a single voice or anything. So we figured that it would be...

{The players move to a large hole with a sign reading "death hole".}

STRONG BAD: Right, but so you include them all in the game so we can like off them virtually, right? Bludgeon them with putters, that kind of thing? You know I can't resist the inescapable...

MIKE: {overlapping} Look how big the hole is. This is going to be... easy hole in one.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Look at that hole. The death hole. Why wouldn't you go for the death hole? That other one's lame and boring. I'm always gonna for the death hole. Eat it, Mike. I moved.

{The ball falls into the death hole.}

WHAT'S HER FACE's VOICE: When you fall down a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.

STRONG BAD: It's the Teen Girl Squad! That was me somehow! Watch this. {singing, as he sinks into the death hole} Come to the place where the tropical breezes blow...

MIKE: Oh man. I didn't even mean to get in the giant.

STRONG BAD: This is as low as I can get. Does it look like I'm half... half in—

MIKE: It looks like a tar pit. You're stuck in the tar pit.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I'm like a La Brea. I'm like a mastodon. {grunting noise} That's the sound that mastodons make.

MIKE: Yeah, get your Trogdor putter, that would be— Trogdor putter would be stuck in there.

STRONG BAD: Yeah! Trogdor— oh man, Trogdor rising from the tar pits. {yells as he pretends to pull the putter from the hole} This is awesome.

MIKE: We could probably do that sometime. We've never put tar in the Peasantry world. I bet there's some kind of giant tar pit in... Peasantry somewhere.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, you got tar in this mini golf game, Lucas?

LUCAS: Uh... we're still working on that one too. There were a lot of things on the wish list that we really hope that we're going to be able—

MIKE: {overlapping} I think we need to... keep track of the number of times... that Lucas says {high-pitched} "ehh" when Strong Bad asks him something.

LUCAS: Ehh... yeah... it's a little intimidating.

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} I think I make him nervous, Mike. {walks up to Lucas} Do I make you nervous, Lucas? Huh? You keep backing away from me. Am I creepin' you out? Am I freakin' your style?

LUCAS: {overlapping} Just a little bit. I don't like confrontation.

MIKE: It's okay, Lucas. You'll get used to it after a while, you get used to it after a while. Trust me. He's harmless.

STRONG BAD: Uh, no, listen. As long as you bump the tar pits mini golf course up to the top of the list... with, you know, like a bunch of flailing, dying giant ground sloths that are like, you know, falling into the tar and stuff. Like as long as that's your next course, then you and me, we're good.

LUCAS: Okay.

MIKE: Yeah. Feather touch. You've selected feather touch, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: I should have selected power drive.

MIKE: {putts} There we go.

STRONG BAD: Oh, you did it. You threaded the needle, Mike. Where me and Mike are in a race to the bottom, we got too distracted by the death hole. No one can escape the alluring gravities of the death hole. Oh, look at that. {ball bounces off the corner} Chip. Doing!

LUCAS: That's pretty good.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's the Chip Doing...

MIKE: Chip Doing is a famous golfer, right?

STRONG BAD: {laughing} Yeah, he was really good at hittin', like right on the corner of stuff.

MIKE: I think he won...

STRONG BAD: ...three time Marble— Marble Dean championship thing. The Marble Dean open. {putts} Come on!

MIKE: There you go.

LUCAS: Nice.

STINKOMAN'S VOICE: Double bogey!

STRONG BAD: See, I made double bogeys good! By putting Stinkoman on it, it makes them desirable... again.

{Mike sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Double bogey. La di da de do!

MIKE: La di da di da. That's a good one. I was hoping to get triple, though.

{Strong Bad floats to Cardboard Marzipan lying on the steps.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, man, can we just bash this cardboard Marzipan?

LUCAS: I mean, yeah, you can. Yeah, it'll... if you get the right...

STRONG BAD: This is like what she really looks like, in my mind. When I look at Marzipan, this is what I see.

LUCAS: That's a photo real representation.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, it's pretty, pretty accurate. A Dutch master did that one. {Lucas putts} Oh, right in there. Dang! Oh, I thought you were going to get the hole in one. It's my turn.

LUCAS: I love that we got to add the little tiny flame. I mean, yes, we didn't get the tar pits, but at least we got the...

MIKE: {simultaneously} Yeah, the tofu... that's...

STRONG BAD: This is pretty good. {whacking the Tofu Homestar} Come on. I want to knock him over. I want to set the whole gazebo on fire. Did you guys implement that— is that...

MIKE: Gaze-bo. Isn't this a gaze-bo?

STRONG BAD: Version one point two? Come on.

LUCAS: Ehhh, we're working on that. I'm just going to keep making that sound now. Now that you've brought it to my attention, I feel like I need to lean into it a little bit more.

STRONG BAD: {putts} Ohhh, I threaded...

MIKE: Yeah, there you go. There you go.

STRONG BAD: Threaded the bamboo legs.

MIKE: {about to putt} All right, here I go.

STRONG BAD: {floating above Tofu Homestar} Look at me, Mike.

MIKE: Oh, yeah, okay. Give me some... give me some inspiration.

STRONG BAD: {mocking Homestar} Oh, I'm on fire. Don't get a hole in one. {normal voice} I'm trying to reverse-psychology you.

MIKE: I once met a guy at a Waffle House that claims he majored in reverse psychology.

STRONG BAD: Sounds like the kind of guy you meet at Waffle House. Are you sure it wasn't Senor Cardgage?

MIKE: {laughing} It might have been. {sinks the ball}

COACH Z'S VOICE: Birdie, birdo, birdorb.

STRONG BAD: Ugh. Why does Coach Z have to be the birdie guy? I keep getting birdies and I gotta listen to his talk-mouth.

MIKE: That's terrible. All right, I'm going to give you a par. Here we go.

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Okaaay!

STRONG BAD: You did okay. Yeah.

MIKE: Yeah. {gesturing to the graffiti on the Brick Wall} Here's some... did you do this— all this graffiti, Strong Bad? Is this all yours?

STRONG BAD: Some of that's mine. The Cheat— The Cheat did that robo-tank over there, but steak dinner, I take full responsibility for steak dinner, that's my... they know me around the streets of Cleveland as steak dinner. My tag is known far and wide in the rail yards.

MIKE: Oh, where's the... do you have a particular point to aim for on the graffiti wall, Lucas, for this one?

LUCAS: I haven't actually played this one enough to sort of like to like figure out a shot. I just kind of, just vibes. Just like, feels?

STRONG BAD: So you admit to like no quality assurance. You just openly admitted that you're not even testing your own game.

LUCAS: Well, we have a QA department that— well...

STRONG BAD: And I'm supposed— you're supposed to be impressing me! And you just told me you've never played this before.

LUCAS: I've played it before. I just haven't taken the time to master it, unfortunately.

STRONG BAD: Well, watch this. I'm going to fill in that gap. You gotta— I'm gonna say you have to...

MIKE: Go... go on the... right below the P of point.

STRONG BAD: No, I'm going for Nebulon's pointy tail.

MIKE: Okay.

STRONG BAD: {putts} And then hit it like really soft, you got to hit it really soft.

MIKE: {about to putt} Uh, did that look good? That may have been good, it would've hit the...

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} No, it did not. No, you got to go— I think you got to go further on to Nebulon. I don't know. You're goin' for one bank or two?

MIKE: {simultaneously} It seems like if it was strong enough, it would've bounced off the wood, and then... {putts}

STRONG BAD: {imitating the ball bouncing off the wood} Oh, badank, donk. Not bad. Set-a you up!

MIKE: Why don't you grab some... grab a can and put up a new piece? Throw up a new piece?

STRONG BAD: Well, 'cause these are all thin caps, I didn't bring my fat caps. I should have brought all my fat caps.

MIKE: I'm pretty sure they made all these spray paint cans usable.

STRONG BAD: What do you call just putting bad in mini golf, Lucas? Is there lingo? There's like, like shank is a thing that people use, that— but I feel like that's regular golf. Or slice?

LUCAS: That's regular golf, yeah. Uh...

STRONG BAD: What do you— what do you call it—

LUCAS: {simultaneously} Just putting badly, yeah, just putting— just sucking, I think is the term people would use.

STRONG BAD: Putt bad.

LUCAS: Yeah. Just putt bad.

MIKE: But there's no space. It's one word, puttbad is one word.

{Strong Bad sinks the ball.}

STRONG SAD'S VOICE: Let's do it together. Go get cappuccinos.

MIKE: {laughing} That one makes me laugh every time.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} That was my stupid baby brother. I don't want to get cappuccinos with him.

MIKE: Yeah, I wanna go get cappucino with him. Yeah. I would do it— oh, look behind these bushes, Strong Bad.

LUCAS: {overlapping} I didn't know that he was younger than you. I always thought that— for some reason, I always thought that Strong Sad was older for some reason.

STRONG BAD: No, don't don't insult me. I am the angry middle child. Isn't that obvious?

{The players are now golf-clubbing the pile of electronics on the athletic field.}

MIKE: Keep bashin' it, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Whoa! No way! You make them fully bashable!

LUCAS: You're on the outdated— you're on the golf club team.

STRONG BAD: This is fantastic. How come my score is not going up? Come on. Look at me. This Zenith. Oh, that's it for you, Zenith. And look at, this is a copy of like Pumpkin Head 2 down on the ground here. Come on, smash it in half. Oh, man, this is... this is... okay, this is, this— you guys can just stop making the game when you got to this part. We can just do this for the rest of the game. I don't want to play no more mini golfs.

LUCAS: Yeah. Probably. That's fine.

STRONG BAD: Whoa, look, this is the old phone from mom's room. This light blue... Oh, and look at that. That old eight track player that looks like a TNT plunger. This is— this is great, and, uh, yeah. I'll just be here for like three more hours.

MIKE: It is pretty... satisfying.

STRONG BAD: Hwah! Hyah! Take that, Magnavox! I do... I don't like bashing this Videlectrix thing. This is a sad— this is sad to see a Videlectrix console in such a sad state.

MIKE: All right, here I go. {putts, misses the hole} That's terrible.

STRONG BAD: That was. That's true, Mike.

MIKE: I feel like I'm playing worse 'cause I know this is... posteritizing.

LUCAS: It'll be added to your Wikipedia, how well you performed in this round, probably, so...

STRONG BAD: Yeah, Mike. This is going on your like LinkedIn page.

MIKE: All right, my back nine, the back nine.

LUCAS: The back nine's the place.

{The players move to an Eh! Steve! hole next to the Drive-Thru Whale.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, man! They really did it! How did you teleport Eh! Steve! from the Sweet Puttin' Cakes course? Did you like, have to do some arcane magic in order to conjure it here?

LUCAS: If we had not gotten Eh! Steve! in here, I think there would have been a revolt. So.

{The Drive-Thru Whale is activated from offscreen.}

MIKE: Oh, yeah!

LUCAS: And the— the whale, too.

STRONG BAD: Whoa! Oh, that thing freaks me out, man.

{Strong Bad whacks the Drive-Thru Whale.}

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Would you like to try a combo meal?

STRONG BAD: What's brown?

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Nine seventeen, sever your leg, please, sir.

STRONG BAD: No, I will not relinquish my pipes.

MIKE: Is that what I said for you?

STRONG BAD: Yeah. You get different styles?

MIKE: Oh, I heard a different one. Yeah.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: {unintelligible}

STRONG BAD: Tame your brown.

LUCAS: I got "register does not contain more than fifty dollars".

MIKE: Oh, wow, we all hear different things.

STRONG BAD: That's fifty doctors.

LUCAS: Oh, fifty doctors. Yes. {Mike laughs} It was a little garbled. I couldn't quite hear it very well.

STRONG BAD: No, let's do— here, I'm just going to be... live out my dreams as the top of Eh! Steve's head.

{Strong Bad's head is sunk on top of Eh! Steve!.}

LUCAS: OK, well, I'm going to aim for you then.

STRONG BAD: {imitating Eh! Steve!'s mouth opening and closing} Aaah! Aaah...

LUCAS: Aww. Too aggressive.

STRONG BAD: Oh, dang. All right, here we go. I gotta hear that sweet, heavenly sound. {putts}

MIKE: Oh, there you go.

{The ball sinks inside the mouth. The crowd cheers "Onion Bubs!"}

STRONG BAD: Yes! And an Onion Bubs. Eh! Steve! and Onion Bubs scream at the same time? That's like the supremest celebration there is. Come on, Mike. {Mike putts} Yeah!

MIKE: Come on, get in.

{The ball falls in the hole.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Hooray!

{Strong Bad's head is in the river next to the Stone Bridge.}

STRONG BAD: If I dip down in this stuff, it'll dye my avatar blue? Like the real stuff would?

MIKE: Ooh, yeah! Stand up. You got to stay there for a while. Stay there for like 10 minutes and we'll— yeah, stay there. You stay there and we'll—

LUCAS: Like an Easter egg.

STRONG BAD: It's getting hard to breathe.

MIKE: Yeah, no, you're fine. You're fine.

{Strong Bad makes gurgling noises.}

MIKE: All right, now let's see if it worked. {Strong Bad rises out of the water} Yeah!

STRONG BAD: And I'm blue?

{He is not.}

MIKE: Yep! Half your head's blue.

STRONG BAD: Do I look totally blue?

MIKE: Yep. Just half your head.

STRONG BAD: Sweet! Accurate family recreation water blue dye. Right? That was the top of the list, Lucas, that I demanded.

LUCAS: Uh huh. We had to get the blue right.

STRONG BAD: Totally works. Is there some way where I can see myself? I guess I just take your word for it.

MIKE: You have to take our word for it. Yeah, you're good.

STRONG BAD: Okay, great. Probably... it probably wears off by the time we'll be done playing, right? So I can't see it like up on the avatar screen.

MIKE: Probably. It'll probably be gone by then. Correct.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Yeah.

MIKE: All right, the old stone bridge. Tell us about the stone bridge, Strong Bad. What do you know about the stone— the old... rarely-seen stone bridge.

STRONG BAD: This is where all the the knife fights... All the knife fights, yeah, take place on the stone bridge. So if somebody challenges you to a knife duel, this is where it's gotta happen.

MIKE: Okay.

STRONG BAD: Look, there's a knife under here.

{Strong Bad and Mike peek under the bridge.}

STORNG BAD: Can I get it?

MIKE: Of course.

STRONG BAD: Come on! I want to have a knife fight! All right. Well, never mind. Let's just have a, um, like a... putter fight, I suppose.

LUCAS: A putter duel?

MIKE: Yeah, we could have a...

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Come on! Come on!

MIKE: Go on, Lucas. You can do it.

{Lucas and Strong Bad have a putter fencing duel on the stone bridge.}

STRONG BAD: Clang! Clang chang! Clangity chang clang, clang, clang, WOAAAHHH! {Strong Bad's head falls to the ground}

MIKE: Nice work, Lucas.

STRONG BAD: Pretty good. I wish I could... What if my head rolls down? {Strong Bad's head rolls in place} Starts rolling down.

MIKE: How did you do this?

STRONG BAD: {screams}

LUCAS: I'm... I'm just impressed at the physicality, this is...

MIKE: That was pretty impressive. I want to see what M... nothing. I was going to say, I want to see what Matt's doing right now...

STRONG BAD: Don't ruin the magic, Mike! {yells as he floats up} All right. Whose turn is it, is it mine? Sorry.

LUCAS: Yeah.

STRONG BAD: Here we go. Stone Bridge. Knife fight, comin' up. {putts} Augh. I hopped right over the... right over the hole.

MIKE: All right, here we go. I'm going to do it this time, Strong Bad. {putts}

STRONG BAD: {as the ball bounces off the stones on the bridge} Boink, boink, boink, boink, boink.

MIKE: Pachink, pachink.

STRONG BAD: Awww...

LUCAS: You got there.

STRONG BAD: You took the wrong path.

MIKE: Maybe the right side is better.

LUCAS: I'll try it. {putts, the ball rolls back} Or I'll just bounce back. That's even better.

MIKE: Oh!

STRONG BAD: {laughing} Oh no! Dang!

LUCAS: This is embarrassing. Okay.

MIKE: I think I put those stones there because you probably never checked them.

LUCAS: Uh, no-no-no, I— yeah, I didn't do enough, uh... Well, that's the— that's the the risk that you take if you're going right for the hole, you got to bounce... {indecipherable}

{Mike sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: That was highly acceptable.

STRONG BAD: Ooh! Highly acceptable.

MIKE: {simultaneously} Homestar said it was highly acceptable, I'll take it. I'll take it.

{Lucas putts.}

STRONG BAD: There we go. Come on! Come on! Come on!

LUCAS: I wanted to try the right side. See what happens. Yeah, right side's a little more... forgiving. There we go. {sinks the ball}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Decent!

MIKE: This is the one, Lucas, I want to know if there's— if you can get a hole in one on, because I've never...

LUCAS: I... I know that you can.

MIKE: You can, okay.

LUCAS: {simultaneously} I don't know that I ever have.

MIKE: Just as long as it's possible— knowing it's possible is...

LUCAS: I think... you know what? I'll try it. I'll... I'll go for something and see if we can...

STRONG BAD: Oh, you're going to finally start trying, is that what you're telling me? About time!

MIKE: {simultaneously; indecipherable} —something up your sleeve? {laughs} That's what he said!

LUCAS: I— I have a feeling that if you just like kind of... whack it right over here...

STRONG BAD: {putts} Ah— ah— {the ball rolls into the water} Nooo!

LUCAS: Like right at this spot, you might be able to skip up.

MIKE: Wait, off the... off the green?

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} You just got to hop... hop the little...

LUCAS: Yeah, I think I think if you go off the green, there might be a chance at it.

{Mike putts.}

STRONG BAD: Hop the arch. Hop the arch!

MIKE: Oh! I tried to... Aah, I didn't...

LUCAS: Oh, but that would have done it. If you had just, you know, done it better. {putts directly into the water} I shouldn't talk.

MIKE: Oh? Like that? Like that, Lucas?

LUCAS: Yeah, exactly! Like that.

STRONG BAD: {putts} Okay. Okay. Stay on the green.

MIKE: Sorry, I shouldn't have give you— I shouldn't have given you sass, Lucas. Strong Bad can give you sass. I should not be sassy to you.

STRONG BAD: No, it's okay. I'm not... I'm not sass exclusive.

LUCAS: I think he's wearing off on me. I'm trying to I'm trying to... to bring a little bit of sass and it's just not my usual...

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's just the natural thing about hanging out with me for long enough. The sass. {gesturing to a drink on the edge of the Stone Bridge} What's this? What's this drink called again, Mike? Strong Sad's hot coffee beach drink?

MIKE: Yeah, there's supposed to— yeah, is there sand on the rim of it?

STRONG BAD: Yeah. A Sucks... a Sucks on the Beach, that's what it was called.

MIKE: {laughing} Is that what it is?

STRONG BAD: {slurps} It's still scalding hot. All right, here we go. {putts} Nope.

MIKE: All right, I'm going to try a different approach. {the ball drops into the water} All right.

LUCAS: I've got— I want to try one other thing, too. This one might work, too. {ball drops into the water} Oh, maybe a little more over here, like right there? Just want to see if it's possible now.

MIKE: Oh, interesting.

STRONG BAD: Wait, and where are you trying to go with it?

MIKE: Wait, what happened?

STRONG BAD: See if it'll ride the... ride the curve?

LUCAS: No, bounce like right off of here, I think. With a good bit of velocity.

STRONG BAD: Oh. And just head straight over this way?

LUCAS: Yeah, I think so.

STRONG BAD: I'd like to see ya try. {putts}

COACH Z'S VOICE: You didn't forgort to port!

MIKE: All right, where am I going?

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} I didn't!

LUCAS: Like, try it right here. With a...

STRONG BAD: Cram it!

MIKE: {putts} Oh, I missed it by a little bit, that may have been... That may have been it. That may have been it.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Oh, yeah, no, you're on to something.

LUCAS: I think I looked at the wrong one. Like right there. {Mike putts} There you go.

{The ball passes right by the edge of the hole.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah-ha-ha, there you go! Oh! It's possible, Mike!

MIKE: Oookay!

LUCAS: Right in the middle.

MIKE: I just whacked a chair in my real world when that happened and then went up and to... hit A, and was up, so I didn't even see what happened.

STRONG BAD: Nice work.

MIKE: Yeah.

LUCAS: Well, you're right there.

STRONG BAD: It's great when you destroy things in your real life while playing virtually.

{Mike sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Oh, man. That was terrible.

MIKE: Ooh, first triple bogey of the day.

STRONG BAD: Oh, man, so wait! If I went over to that golf club...

{Lucas putts and the ball passes by the edge of the hole.}

MIKE: There it is! Ohhh!

STRONG BAD: Augh. Next time I'm gonna go over to the...

{The ball disappears.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Uh, you should really stop playing this game.

STRONG BAD: You should. You really should.

LUCAS: I just wanted to hear what the what the stroke limit was for Homestar.

MIKE: That's... I wanted to hear triple bogey. That's right. That's... We both had a...

LUCAS: Yeah. We won.

{The players move over to a cardboard periscope sticking out from the river.}

STRONG BAD: What's, uh, hey, Mike? What's— here's a— Mike, walking Homestar Wiki. What is the name of my cardboard submarine?

MIKE: Hoo... Is it— it's not the Anselmo. That's your cardboard spaceship, right?

STRONG BAD: Yep, yep. The Proud Anselmo.

MIKE: The Proud... It's probably named after... Is it named after...

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} It tells you a lot about... It tells you a lot about whatever pop culture... was doing when we named it.

MIKE: It's not a metal— is it heavy metal related?

STRONG BAD: It is not.

MIKE: Oh, I don't remember.

STRONG BAD: I believe it is the USS Flirtini. {Mike laughs} If you remember what Flirtinis were for like two minutes.

MIKE: I don't. I don't.

STRONG BAD: I was a real gadabout-town in like, uh, the Lower East Side, where Flirtinis... uh...

{The players cross the river and find the box with the hose for the Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.}

STRONG BAD: Oh! Whoa, look at this. The Riverquest Safariventure!

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah, the Riverquest Safariventure's over there.

{Strong Bad's head floats over the box.}

STRONG BAD: And get ready to experience the fury of... {the boat drones on in the background} Hey, shut up. That's my line. {like a tour guide} Everybody say hello to my putter. It's Trogdor. It's Trogdor, he's going to go on the ride with us today. If you'll all gather round...

STRONG BAD RECORDING: —you'll experience the fury of a big rock that's going to fall on us. If you look up the river...

STRONG BAD: If you— what? Shut up, man. He won't stop talking over me.

STRONG BAD RECORDING: Everybody say hi The Cheat.

STRONG BAD: {with a sockpuppet} Hi The Cheat.

STRONG BAD RECORDING: Please leave your valuables under your seat and exit to your right.

STRONG BAD: Well, I didn't know he was going to keep talking. I was going to try and do...

STRONG BAD RECORDING: Don't forget to experience the fury of our gift shop.

MIKE: A puppet show?

STRONG BAD: {with sockpuppet} A puppet show. But my... my own recorded voice wouldn't shut up.

MIKE: Well, you got it. You can do it now. {the Strong Bad recording resumes} Oh, {unintelligible}

{Strong Bad groans and leaves the box.}

MIKE: I might be triggering it too.

STRONG BAD: Oh, you probably are. I attracted too much of a crowd. Hey, watch this though! You guys, you know, I equipped the Riverquest Safariventure with an ejector seat.

{Strong Bad screams as his head goes flying out from the box and lands on the grass. Mike laughs.}

MIKE: You okay?

STRONG BAD: I made it! Yeah! All right. Back to golf. You guys, it's too much fun to just— you're lucky that I'm really easily amused by VR, Lucas, or I'd be way more disappointed in this... this half-styled mini-golf course that Bubs threw together.

COACH Z'S VOICE: Ya done a great bord...ie. Birdie.

MIKE: {goes back to the previous hole} Oh man, I'm still back here? Dang it.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I distracted you by trying to— by trivia-ing you about the name of my— {Mike's ball falls into the water} oh! Hey, Mike?

{Lucas sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Now that was one ugly bird...ie.

MIKE: Yeah?

STRONG BAD: You're still back there. {Mike putts the ball over the water} There you go. Over the pond! Across the pond! Now you have to talk in a British accent.

MIKE: I won't do it, Strong Bad. I won't be pressured into it.

LUCAS: I want to hear Strong Bad talk in a British accent. I just want to hear what that mashup sounds like, actually.

STRONG BAD: {awkwardly} Oh, well, uh, my lordly style, uh, the Poppenstance, with, uh... Grippenplaunch! Oh, the old tea time would sway you! Absurd! {normally} It's pretty good, right?

LUCAS: Yeah, that was perfect. I would have assumed you were from South London.

{The players are now at The Cheat's grill hole.}

STRONG BAD: {putts} Oh, come on! I got, uh, I got bedrangled in there.

MIKE: Oh, Luke has got a little bedrangling himself.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, this is— The Cheat bedrangled this hole on purpose. Oh, look at that! There's a little cup of suudsu for The Cheat. He must be asleep in there.

{Upon closer inspection, The Cheat can be seen peeking through the crack in the closed grill.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, The Cheat! Wake up, The Cheat!

{The putter knocks the grill.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Come on, guy!

{The putter knocks the grill.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Come on out, let's play!

{The putter knocks the grill.}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {knocking on the grill} Come on, wake up! The Cheat! Start! Playing! Some freaking! Mini! Golf! {he gives up} He's not listening, you guys. {putts} Ough. No no no! Nooo... I think I crossed the corner threshold. Gonna have to bank it in. {putts}

LUCAS: Oh... Little too much muscle.

STRONG BAD: Oh, this one's got the little... dip. What do you call this dip?

LUCAS: A little funnel thing, yeah.

STRONG BAD: A funnel thing. Crater. Golf crater.

MIKE: {nudges the ball} Oh! Accidental...

STRONG BAD: All right. Can I do it? I'm going to do this. Watch this.

MIKE: Yeah, you can do a little bank... There you go.

STRONG BAD: Yeaaah, there we go. {sinks the ball}

STRONG MAD'S VOICE: PAAAR!

STRONG BAD: Oh! It's brother Strong Mad.

MIKE: Strong Mad!

{Lucas sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Check it out. Golf happened.

LUCAS: Golf happened.

STRONG BAD: It sure did.

{Mike sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: {rhythmically} Par p-par par par.

STRONG BAD: We got par. Oh man! {entering the King of Town's castle} Look at this mountain full of foodstuffs!

MIKE: Salisbury sundaes.

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah. What are those, cloves? What do they shove in hams— in cartoon hams, Mike? Are those cloves?

MIKE: Sssure.

STRONG BAD: You know, or are they just like punk rock spikes? {Mike chuckles} Studded ham. Got some lobster tails...

MIKE: Heavenly ham. Some Salisbury sundaes...

STRONG BAD: Are there any gobs of meringue? Whoa, look at these... I think these lobster tails are actually just full of like, cream cheese. On the back. It kinda looks delicious.

MIKE: Lemon sorbet maybe? Stuffed inside a lobster tail?

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Or maybe they're just— if you look at 'em from here and you don't see the tail, they just look like those snowballs. Those like coconut pink things.

MIKE: Oh yeah.

LUCAS: I like to think it's all just cake. Even the ham.

STRONG BAD: Oh! Totally. Slice it all open, Mike! Let's see if it's cake. Will you carve up the ham? Um, I always thought the King of Town's castle was bigger than this, you guys. He's always walkin' around like it's impressive, I had no idea he's sleepin' in one room, gorging himself at this table and then falling asleep on a pile of... industrial cans of mayonnaise. I mean, it fits!

LUCAS: Well, you guys have been living in a 2D world for so long, it's hard to really understand scale when you're... until you actually see where they are.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, from far away it looks massive. I just could never get at the angle. All right, I should start golfing. All right, what do I gotta do? I gotta try and get on... we got, like, one of those pyramids that I gotta try and like get on the right side of.

MIKE: {sticking out of the castle's coat of arms} Does it look like... do I have King of Town's mustache?

STRONG BAD: Oh, look at that! Back up a little bit more. He looks like you have a beard or a collar. {Mike backs up into the wall} Oh, but no, now I can't see your eyes. Aah! Now you're just a creep. Come a little more. And now you look like you have like a— ooh, you got like a pilgrim collar on! Come out a little more! This mustache turns you into a puritan! {Mike laughs} Prithee! Prithee, Mike! Won't you prithee my smithy?

MIKE: Goody...

STRONG BAD: Prithee my smithy, goody Mike.

MIKE: Goody Dougland. Goody Dougland. All right. Enough of that.

STRONG BAD: Enough crucible.

MIKE: {laughs} That's all we know.

STRONG BAD: I saw Goody Dougland with the devil. {Lucas putts} Ooh? Aww! If it had more juice... it prolly coulda hopped over the corner there. Is it possible to make it... to like, ride the lightning? And just come over to the side? You know, like get on the— can you ever make it down this way if you just time it right?

LUCAS: Yeah, you can.

STRONG BAD: You always gotta— okay. {putts} Bank in! Augh. {floats down into the cans of mayo} Just gonna rest... rest right here on this can of mayo. {singing} Oh, I'm just a can of mayo. {stops singing} Remember that, like, elementary school song?

{Mike chuckles.}

STRONG BAD: {singing off-key} I'm a giant industrial can of mayo, lookin' at magaziiines! {stops singing} Right? Remember that?

MIKE: What class was that from?

STRONG BAD: Ms. Balardner's. Kindergarten.

MIKE: She got fired right after that, right?

STRONG BAD: {laughing} Yeah, I think it was because she taught us that song.

MIKE: Yeah!

{Strong Bad sinks the ball.}

1-UP'S VOICE: Everybody says you got par, but I wanna get par too!

STRONG BAD: Oh, look, it's... 1-Up, the extra man.

MIKE: 1-Up!

{Lucas sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: You did a golf!

STRONG BAD: You did a golf!

{Mike sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Golfo!

STRONG BAD: Golfo boo-ding?

MIKE: Golfo boo-ding!

STRONG BAD: Oh man! Look at that pile of whatsit! {Mike chuckles} I can almost smell it in real life! Oh dang...

MIKE: Get closer! Give it a whack.

STRONG BAD: {pokes it with the putter, producing a whatsit sound} Whoa! {does it repeatedly} Yes! Realistic fart noises! {Mike joins} I think it's getting smaller. I think if we do this for like 37 minutes, we can actually whittle it down and then the hole is underneath it. It's at the bottom of a crater, you just get a hole-in-one.

MIKE: {overlapping} Come on, Lucas, help us out! Come on!

LUCAS: I'm just admiring the sheer number of fart noises that it makes, like I don't think any two are the same.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, did you guys invent some kind of like infinite fart engine?

LUCAS: Yeah, procedural farts sounds or something.

MIKE: Aw, man!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, that's like... I don't even think No Man's Sky has that stuff.

MIKE: Hold on, I need to plug in, my headset level is very low. Because my headset is very old. {walks off}

STRONG BAD: Oh no! Mike's just wanderin' off...

LUCAS: Just walking off the cliff.

STRONG BAD: Through the bushes! All right. Bye, Mike! It's like the last time I saw my uncle... Burlyman. He just... disappeared into some bushes. That was it. Oh no, Mike! Mike's dead. Oh dang!

MIKE: All right. No, I'm back!

STRONG BAD: All right, I'm doin' it, everybody. I'm doin' it. I'm gonna hold my breath. {inhales and sinks into the whatsit, then screams as he slowly emerges}

MIKE: 3... 4... 5... 6 seconds!

STRONG BAD: Rising from the ashes! {screams and floats up more, then comes back down}

MIKE: Now your head's half blue from the water and half brown from the whatsit.

STRONG BAD: Woo! That was ripe.

MIKE: How do you feel?

STRONG BAD: Feels ripe. Rife, and ripe. Both. Phife. It feels Phife. {putts}

MIKE: Nice... Ohh, I thought you had it.

LUCAS: I keep seeing if there's a way to get over there like that... {putts} That kinda works.

MIKE: {overlapping} Oh, yeah, there is. Yeah.

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} Yeah, there's gotta be. Play the whatsit.

{Mike sinks the shot and Homestar's hat comes out of the hole.}

LUCAS: Ooh, nice shot.

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: {imitating fireworks} Ptoo! Ptooie! Ptwa-ha-ha!

STRONG BAD: Whoa!

MIKE: I got Homestar's hat!

STRONG BAD: You got a beanie cap! {putts and misses} Oh my... oh my style. I'm just trying to see what like a double bogey is, again.

LUCAS: I'm right there with ya.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Exactly.

LUCAS: Missin' the easy ones.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} This is... this is how you do QA, Lucas! {sinks the ball}

THE HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Well, that's just fine. Absolut-ly... fine.

STRONG BAD: Oh, it's old-timey Homestar Runner! The Homestar Runner!

{Lucas sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: {rhythmically} Par p-par par par!

STRONG BAD: All right, now where do we go?

MIKE: Up these stairs.

STRONG BAD: Ooh!

{They go up the stairs to the castle roof.}

STRONG BAD: I feel like we're like marching to the gallows, you guys, I don't know if I wanna do this. The King of Town, who knows what he does on the roof of his castle. Oh look!

MIKE: The spear and the trumpet... bugle thing.

LUCAS: Have we ever seen the roof of this castle before? In... any of the shorts?

STRONG BAD: I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think we've ever been up here. This is new— this is apparently where the bugler and the guy with a spear, the knight guy with a spear hang out.

MIKE: The Knight! Check out this view, though, it's got a pretty good view of... Strong Badia.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, this is pretty nice. Look at all that majesty.

MIKE: See Bennedetto over there...

STRONG BAD: {sings operatically} Come to the place where the tropical breezes bloooow... Sorry, my heart swelled up with pride. With Strong Badian national pride. Is that the Steep Deep way over there?

MIKE: It is, I threw that in way late. I don't know if you can fly over to it or not.

STRONG BAD: Waaah! {flies over to the Steep Deep}

MIKE: Well, he's going for it. He's going for it.

LUCAS: He's got his speed turned up.

STRONG BAD: Woo, look at that! I made it! There's a couple of tiny eggs over here.

MIKE: Really?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, they look like Cadbury Creme Eggs maybe, or like those ones that are candy-coated.

MIKE: Those are tiny eggs. Yeah, they're malt... like a malted, uh, malted milk, like a Whopper? But in Easter egg form?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, totally.

MIKE: Those are pretty good.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, this is great.

MIKE: This, uh, some shoddy 3D artistry up here doesn't hold up to...

STRONG BAD: Yeah, who did that?

MIKE: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, he's fired though.

STRONG BAD: Sure it wasn't you, Mike?

MIKE: Talk about some jaggedy edges. This Steep Deep was one of the first things I ever made in Blender. Like, seven years ago.

STRONG BAD: No way. I could never tell.

MIKE: {laughs} Yeah. And I decided to throw it into a game at the last second so no one {inaudible}

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} It looks like a big paw, it looks like a big, like, dog paw over here.

MIKE: Yeah, sticking out...

MIKE: {overlapping} Did you try and make a dog paw? Like a big Clifford paw? I think you stole a Clifford paw from like, an asset store, Mike. And then stuck a mountain under it.

MIKE: Clifford's red.

STRONG BAD: What's the white one?

MIKE: It's the... NeverEnding Story, the luck dragon.

STRONG BAD and LUCKY: Falcor.

MIKE: It's his paws. Yeah. Sorry. I... {laughs} I like that you both actually know his name.

STRONG BAD: Just because Strong Sad watches that movie like every night.

MIKE: Right.

STRONG BAD: It's true!

MIKE: Um... all right, oh, it's my turn, sorry. The rare Mike going first. {putts}

STRONG BAD: We should all keep meetin' out at that mountain, though, that should be like our secret spot.

MIKE: If we get lost, if we get lost, everybody just go to the Steep Deep.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Yeah.

MIKE: We'll meet back up.

STRONG BAD: {putts; the ball rolls back down and continues moving backwards} Uh... nope. Nope. Oh wait! Keep going!

MIKE: Go down the steps, yep, secret, sec— hold grip, hold grip, hold grip.

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} I'm gonna grip— grip to do— I'm doin' a trickshot! Hang on! It's gonna come back up! Oh...

LUCAS: That would be a save though, I would want—

STRONG BAD: Oh, it won't let me— my Smooth Loco won't let me go down there. Come on! Get up there! Come on!

LUCAS: Now that you say that, I wonder what the trick shot is for this hole.

STRONG BAD: Auuugh!

MIKE: Oh yeah, do you think you could get down there without goin' through?

LUCAS: I bet. I bet there's a way that you could— so people have hole-in-one'd almost every single hole in the game, I bet there's a way that if you do... like that, and bounce off of a bush or something, it'll get you right onto the green.

STRONG BAD: Oh man. I can't wait to find that!

MIKE: {simultaneously} Wow. So I guess {inaudible}... practice mode, people just do that to figure out the...

LUCAS: Yeah, they'll just come in in practice mode and just like, try everything for... hours on end.

MIKE: Which one of these funnel things do I want, Lucas? Do you know?

LUCAS: I think the smallest one is the best one.

MIKE: Is it? Okay. {putts}

STRONG BAD: Let's see. {sings as he looks down from the castle roof} Oh yeah, aww, you just missed it.

LUCAS: Oh, maybe the pipe will give you a hole-in-one at times.

STRONG BAD: It seems like it coulda. No!

MIKE: Did you miss it?

STRONG BAD: I did. Whoa, dang! Let's see...

MIKE: There it is, there it is.

{The ball comes out of a tube in the castle wall and rolls into the hole. Homestar's hat comes out.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: {imitating fireworks} Ptoo! Ptooie! Ptwa-ha-ha!

STRONG BAD: We got that hat again. My thing was gonna force you to lay down on the ground the next time Lucas gets one of those hats, so you have to make it look like you're wearin' the hat. And also so you gotta like put your chin on the floor of your house.

MIKE: Yeah, okay, I'll do it. Um, I was gonna say I believe that that arrow sign that's up here...

STRONG BAD: Yeah?

MIKE: That thing? The first time we ever saw you, I believe that you were standing in that sign, weren't you? Isn't that in The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest?

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, I remember that sign!

MIKE: On the way to the contest? This sign is like... yeah.

STRONG BAD: Yeah! It's the chubby arrow. I've always loved you, chubby arrow.

MIKE: Points you... always points you in the right direction.

STRONG BAD: Right. Who's next?

MIKE: I'm up. {putts}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Uh, I'm gonna say that's a birdie. Yep. Definitely a birdie.

LUCAS: I gotta wonder if it almost might be easier to point out things that aren't Easter eggs, like I think that this rock right here is not an Easter egg, I don't think that has any lore {Mike laughs} inside the Homestar universe at all.

MIKE: Oh no, that's the... that's...

{Strong Bad sinks the ball.}

1-UP'S VOICE: Everybody says you got par, but I wanna get par too!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, like this, uh, this blade of grass... this blade of grass is from like, episode 217, season 4, um, and we learned its... who its mom was. Remember that?

MIKE: Do you think Homsar's underneath the Heavy Lourde?

STRONG BAD: He should be. I hope so.

MIKE: Should've put his foot... We should've put his foot sticking under there, don't... yeah.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. It's too late now, Mike.

MIKE: {simultaneously} Now we're suggesting things that people are gonna like, think are there, that are not there, because we didn't think of it until right now. Oh well.

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Shut your mouth! Whoa, look at the Spooky Woods.

MIKE: {putts} Oh, dang.

STRONG BAD: That skeleton's gonna...

MIKE: This one seems hard to get a hole-in-one, right? That can't be possible.

STRONG BAD: Oh, it's possible.

LUCAS: {simultaneously} I think you could maybe go to the left here, yeah, bounce off... go to the left and bounce off the tree, probably.

STRONG BAD: {putts toward the tree and completely misses the hole} Just like that! Nailed it!

MIKE: It's still movin', it's still movin'... oh, no.

STRONG BAD: {next to the Spooky Woods skull} This guy... me and this guy... this guy's pretty awesome. Is this an avatar? I want this guy to be my avatar. Mean ol' Skullbo. Hey Skullbo, how you been?

MIKE: {in a high gravelly voice} Oh, pretty good, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: There you go.

MIKE: {in a high gravelly voice} I've... lost a tooth.

STRONG BAD: You prolly— somebody prolly hit that with a putter. I'm sorry. All right, I— you gotta get on the other side of that divot, in this tree, it's got this big divot that's gonna mess you up so I gotta get on this side of the divot. Here we go. {putts} Divot! Divot time! {the ball bounces off the tree and back onto the green} Nope. Somehow, okay, on the green now.

MIKE: {overlapping} That worked. What's the par on this...

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} Mike... Mike's really trying it out today.

MIKE: {overlapping} Par 3? Par 3? Come on, par 3?

STRONG BAD: This is a par 3?

LUCAS: This is a par 3, yeah.

STRONG BAD: But it's spooky! You can't put a par 3 on something as scary as this! Look at these ominous shadows, cast across the green. Almost like... a creepy crab man is grabbing for the hole! No? Nobody? That's what I see.

MIKE: I'm checking inside this... inside the holes, in the trees.

STRONG BAD: I can see that freakin' goblin over there. Thinkin' he's so great. Lookin' at me with those dead eyes.

LUCAS: I don't know the Goblin one, when— what... was that a short?

MIKE: He's in Halloween, he's in the...

STRONG BAD: Oh, he's only been around since 2001, Lucas!

MIKE: 2000, right? Isn't he in the first Halloween?

STRONG BAD: {simultaneously} Oh yeah. That was it, he was in the first Halloween cartoon!

MIKE: Yeah. He pretty much only appears in Halloween cartoons.

LUCAS: Okay.

STRONG BAD: {putts; simultaneously} Oh, wh— aww, crap! I accidentally hit the thing! Lucas got me all flustered with his... lack of knowledge of... the Gobalin!

{Mike sinks the ball.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: Double bogey. La di da de do!

STRONG BAD: Homestar Runner makes him up... in a story that he's telling... or no, who made him up first?

MIKE: Is it... Bubs? Is he talking about the Goblin and the Gremlin?

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} Yeah, "once there was a green gobalin", that's Homestar.

MIKE: Oh, right, right. And then the Goblin was {inaudible}

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} He says "once there was a green gobalin and he did a dance", and that's his— that was supposed to be his spooky story, and it sucked. {Mike chuckles} And so then we all had to try and make it better, so I added like a robot that vaporizes everybody and all that stuff, but then somehow Homestar willed this goblin into existence and now we have to live with him at Halloween times. And he does a dance to this like, Casio keyboard jangle song. Last one! Here we go. Is the jangle song networked, or no? Do we only hear that locally?

MIKE: {overlapping} It's not. No, we only hear it locally.

STRONG BAD: Augh! Here, you gotta do it for me as soon as I get to putt, Mike, an a capella version of the jangle song.

MIKE: Well, you'll hear it.

STRONG BAD: Everybody listen— I know, but I want it to be on the recording for everyone!

MIKE: All right.

{Strong Bad sinks the ball. Mike sings atonally.}

STRONG BAD: That's really good, Mike! That's what it sounds like. Imagine the Casio keyboard equivalent of what Mike just did.

MIKE: Do you remember which one of us played that? Did... did uncle— {chuckles} uncle Matt or I play that, Strong Bad?

STRONG BAD: {laughing} I don't know who uncle Matt is. Oh, look at this! {moving over to the Gremlin} This is Dangeresque's favorite ride.

MIKE: Yeah! This came right after the Goblin was invented, the Gremlin was invented in that same cartoon.

STRONG BAD: That's right!

MIKE: That got willed into existence and you made good use of it.

STRONG BAD: And look, now it's part of a putter hole. {Lucas sinks the ball, Homestar's hat comes out of the hole} Yes! Oh, get your head under there, Mike! Quick! Quick! {Mike disappears, Lucas swoops under the hat as it disappears} Augh! Lucas almost made it. That's a good move! Did either of you scrape your chins on the floor?

MIKE: I just hit my head into a cabinet.

STRONG BAD: {laughing} That's pretty good. I'll take it. {inaudible} trick Mike into runnin' into office furniture.

LUCAS: {overlapping} So... Mike is concussed... Yeah. If he starts speaking French we'll know something's wrong.

MIKE: {overlapping; laughing} Yeah, that was terrible.

STRONG BAD: All right. You're up, Mike.

MIKE: I wish I had a camera, on my... yeah, sorry. I think watching me in actual real life would be more entertaining than my virtual self.

STRONG BAD: Yeah, you gotta put a webcam in there.

MIKE: {putts} There we go. Hole-in-one.

LUCAS: I'll go for it. {moves toward the hole}

STRONG BAD: Go. Come on. Come on! Come on!

LUCAS: Oh, there we go.

{The ball goes in the hole and Homestar's hat comes out, just above Lucas's head.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah! All right.

MIKE: Nice.

STRONG BAD: Nice hat! {putts}

MIKE: Come on, jingle it out.

{The ball goes in the hole. The crowd cheers "Onion Bubs!"}

STRONG BAD: Yes! Onion Buuubs! I did it, you guys. I got a new hole record! {moves over to an orange bowl and spoon next to Frank Bennedetto} Whoa, look at this... this is the site... of the Battle of Strong Badia! Here lies the fallen Bennedetto, Homestar Runner's... one of his top lieutenants, first lieuteneral. And there's... his ar— his like, helmet. And... weapon? Is it like a drill sargeant's staff or does he think it's like a...

MIKE: {overlapping} It's, uh... yeah, I think it's some kind of... yeah, whatever those drill sargeants, it's like a... yeah, what is that thing they hold?

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} A sceptre? A baton? A drum...

LUCAS: {overlapping} Like a riding crop almost?

MIKE: Yeah, it's almost like a— it's like a {laughing; unintelligible} but I don't think they would, but that's what I was gonna say, it's like a tiny...

LUCAS: {laughs} Yeah. {putts}

MIKE: Look at this Golbol, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: {watching the ball} Oh dang. Way past Strong Badia. Into the furrow fallows. Or the fallowed furrows. Of Strong Badia. {Mike putts} We don't... we don't grow much in Strong Badia.

MIKE: Ohh, there we go.

STRONG BAD: Oh, off the course! Lemme show you guys how it's done. As a local, I should be the crack shot at this one. {putts} Yeah, there you go.

LUCAS: {overlapping} That's... pretty much exac—

MIKE: {overlapping} Okay. Ooh!

STRONG BAD: Off the Tire...

MIKE: Yeah, you gotta...

STRONG BAD: I mean, the Population: Tire, excuse me. The actual tire, I don't know where that frickin' thing is.

{Lucas sinks the ball and Homestar's hat comes out of the hole.}

MIKE: Ooh, nice!

HOMESTAR RUNNER'S VOICE: {imitating fireworks} Ptoo! Ptooie! Ptwa-ha-ha!

{Strong Bad ducks under the hat.}

STRONG BAD: Did I do it?

LUCAS: Yep, you did.

STRONG BAD: I don't wanna wear that hat. {Mike putts} There you go, Mike.

MIKE: Finally.

STRONG BAD: Look at this, and this is like, once you get into this furrowed fallow, you're good!

MIKE: Can't miss. {Strong Bad misses; laughing} Oh wait! Yeah, you can.

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} You d— you did that! You did some kinda magic! And made me miss! How did you do that? I blame Mike.

MIKE: {overlapping} I'm gonna give it a little... {putts the ball at a slightly uphill angle so the ball curves into the hole}

STRONG BAD: Ooh! Went for a little walk. {sinks the ball} There we go.

COACH Z'S VOICE: Ya done a great bord...ie. Birdie.

STRONG BAD: Ugh. I ended with Coach Z.

{Cut to Strong Bad's giant head in the sky.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! Look at that! I'm a god now!

MIKE: {simultaneously} You're huge!

STRONG BAD: I'm like a giant kaiju! Ready to destroy you all! Waaagh...

MIKE: Don't do it!

STRONG BAD: WAAAGH! Can I like grab ya? {grunts} I'm tryin' to grab ya! {more grunts}

MIKE: I'm trying to jump up to you!

STRONG BAD: Gonna grab you... I'm gonna eat you! I'm gonna...

MIKE: I can hold onto your putter. Pull me up!

STRONG BAD: Okay. {grunting} Why aren't you flying? Come on! {Mike starts flying} Don't spoil the magic— there we go! All right. And now I'm gonna eat you! Aaah... {Mike floats through Strong Bad's head} Oh! Was some tasty Mike.

MIKE: {makes a fart noise}

STRONG BAD: Oh, gross. That's disgusting, Mike! Uh, this is awesome. I'm just gonna hang out up here. Hey, Lucas, well, nice job. At the very least, you made me a god and you made it so I can smash electronics... That's pretty good. The rest of this stuff is fine.

LUCAS: I'll take it. Mike's back to electronics, I feel like that's how we should end it.

{Fade to them smashing electronics.}

LUCAS: You know like they do the yule logs that just goes for like six hours?

MIKE: {chuckles} Yeah! Just like, uh... screensaver... fall asleep...

STRONG BAD: {overlapping} Ten hour... ten hours of smashing— smashing electronics ASMR.

{Fade to a screen reading "WALKABOUT MINI GOLF H*R Distaction Pack Now Available".}

[edit] External Links

• watch "Strong Bad Plays Walkabout Mini Golf's Homestar Runner Distraction Pack!" on YouTube