Subtitles:coolthings/en
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| These are the English subtitles for Cool Things. watch this toon
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer. |
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="coolthings.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="91" end="113" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">sigh</line>
<line start="114" end="175" speaker="homestar">Sitting on the couch is zero amount of fun when there's not a TV or hang glider in front of it.</line>
<line start="177" end="238" speaker="marzipan">Well, why don't you do something constructive? Like read a book, or write a novella?</line>
<line start="246" end="295" speaker="homestar">Naw, I already did some writing today. And then I read what I wrote.</line>
<line start="296" end="325" speaker="marzipan">Yay! Good for you. Can I see it?</line>
<line start="326" end="349" speaker="homestar">It's right over there! Check it out!</line>
<line start="350" end="387" speaker="marzipan">Why did you write "Cool Tapes" on my wall?</line>
<line start="388" end="431" speaker="homestar">Uh, hello? Maybe because I like cool tapes?</line>
<line start="432" end="475" speaker="marzipan">Well, I hope you like "cool" painting, because this has got to go!</line>
<line start="476" end="511" speaker="homestar">Mwah, bwah, bwahhhh.</line>
<line start="538" end="602" speaker="homestar">Say there, old Bubs, I need three cans of yella paint, and one pair of cool shades.</line>
<line start="603" end="636" speaker="bubs">Sorry customer, I'm closed.</line>
<line start="637" end="685" speaker="homestar">But you're standing right there. And I see the yella paint right next to you!</line>
<line start="688" end="756" speaker="bubs">But I'm closed! Cutbacks, layoffs, downsizing, you know the drill.</line>
<line start="760" end="806" speaker="homestar">Hey, Bubs, can you steal three cans of yella paint for me?</line>
<line start="810" end="860" speaker="bubs">I never pass up a chance to stick it to the man! Here ya go!</line>
<line start="861" end="897" speaker="bubs">I slipped the cool shades in the can number two.</line>
<line start="900" end="927" speaker="homestar">Thanks, Bubs. Power to the people!</line>
<line start="928" end="942" speaker="bubs">I heard that!</line>
<line start="971" end="1009" speaker="homestar">I think I'm gonna bust out my new cool shades!</line>
<line start="1028" end="1066" speaker="homestar">Cool! Everything's yellow and drippy.</line>
<line start="1068" end="1086" speaker="strongsad">Hey, Homestar.</line>
<line start="1088" end="1113" speaker="homestar">Oh, hello, dripping yellow madness!</line>
<line start="1115" end="1195" speaker="strongsad">What? I'm Strong Sad! Dripping Yellow Madness moved away after fifth grade!</line>
<line start="1200" end="1283" speaker="homestar">Look, I'd love to stay and argue that you are, in fact, Dripping Yellow Madness, but this paint and I have a date with the wall!</line>
<line start="1290" end="1326" speaker="strongsad">I wish I had a date with a wall...</line>
<line start="1330" end="1354" speaker="homestar">Go for it! Here, you'll need these.</line>
<line start="1358" end="1365" speaker="strongsad">Oh!</line>
<line start="1370" end="1396"><homestar>And, uh, good luck tonight.</homestar><homestar sfx="sfx">tongue click</homestar></line>
<line start="1403" end="1490"><homestar>Aaaaaaaaaaah...</homestar>
<homestar volume="0.8">I'm at the bottom of a giant piiiiit...</homestar>
</line>
<line start="1491" end="1536" speaker="strongsad">Homestar, take off those stupid cool shades.</line>
<line start="1538" end="1569" speaker="homestar">Yeah, I should probably return these things.</line>
<line start="1570" end="1606" speaker="strongsad">Oh, getting lucky tonight...</line>
<line start="1624" end="1660" speaker="homestar">Hey, friend. Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.</line>
<line start="1661" end="1690" speaker="bubs">Little bit closer, Homestar.</line>
<line start="1690" end="1698" speaker="homestar">Oh.</line>
<line start="1703" end="1735" speaker="homestar">Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.</line>
<line start="1737" end="1760" speaker="bubs">Sure! You got your receipt?</line>
<line start="1762" end="1839" speaker="homestar">Uh, no. The sales representative I dealt with gave them to me free of charge.</line>
<line start="1840" end="1871" speaker="homestar">I believe... his name was Stan.</line>
<line start="1875" end="1919" speaker="bubs">Stan?! I fired that guy after the fifth grade!</line>
<line start="1923" end="1988" speaker="bubs">Without a receipt, I can only exchange them for something of lesser or much lesser value.</line>
<line start="1990" end="2026" speaker="bubs">And the only thing that qualifies is this!</line>
<line start="2030" end="2080" speaker="homestar">These'll do! These'll do juuust fine!</line>
<line start="2166" end="2195" speaker="marzipan">All right, boys! From the top. One, two...</line>
<line start="2196" end="2228" speaker="homestar">What in Pete Sampras is going on here?!</line>
<line start="2230" end="2317" speaker="marzipan">Well... you took too long, so Strong Mad, and The Cheat and I formed a band called Cool Tapes.</line>
<line start="2319" end="2367" speaker="homestar">Oh, really?! What kind of... music do you play?!</line>
<line start="2370" end="2452" speaker="marzipan">Well, here, we'll show you. We only have one song so far, and it's not quite finished, but here goes. Ready, boys?</line>
<line start="2455" end="2465" speaker="sfx">music begins</line>
<line start="2470" end="2494" speaker="marzipan">One, two, three, four!</line>
<line start="2495" end="2531" speaker="marzipan">Cool tapes are cool, 'cause they're where it is at.</line>
<line start="2535" end="2567" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Cool tapes are cool, and we like it like that!</line>
<line start="2580" end="2590" speaker="marzipan">Cool tapes!</line>
<line start="2597" end="2605" speaker="marzipan">Cool tapes!</line>
<line start="2607" end="2669" speaker="marzipan">We like to get down with cool, cool tapes. We like to get down with...</line>
<line start="2673" end="2700" speaker="marzipan">Um.... um...</line>
<line start="2709" end="2725" speaker="homestar">A bag of four grapes?</line>
<line start="2730" end="2800" speaker="marzipan">A bag of four graaaaapes!</line>
<line start="2817" end="2940" speaker="sfx">music ends, applause</line>
<line start="2950" end="2980" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover" volume="0.9">...same truck that tried to kill my dad!</line>
<line start="2982" end="3020" speaker="strongbad">Hey, The Cheat! We catch anything in the death hole today?</line>
<line start="3025" end="3040" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="3041" end="3095" speaker="strongbad">What? There's no way he could've been in there. He moved away after fifth grade!</line>
</transcript>
