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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Decemberween Short Shorts. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="dweenshorts.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="22" end="128" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="133" end="166" speaker="strongbad">Dear Tube Socks, it's me again.</line>
<line start="167" end="185" speaker="strongbad">I hope you had a good year.</line>
<line start="186" end="220" speaker="strongbad">Free of athletes' feet and toe jams.</line>
<line start="221" end="238" speaker="strongbad">Lemme cut to the chase.</line>
<line start="239" end="308" speaker="strongbad">On Decemberween morning, when I open you guys up, you're going to hear...things.</line>
<line start="309" end="362" speaker="strongbad">Hurtful things. Unforgivable things. Things like,</line>
<line start="363" end="379" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">groans</line>
<line start="380" end="384" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and</line>
<line start="385" end="403" speaker="strongbad">Oh, man!</line>
<line start="404" end="409" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and</line>
<line start="410" end="453" speaker="strongbad">This present of tube socks totally sucks and I hate it!</line>
<line start="454" end="482" speaker="strongbad">Don't you believe a word of it, Tube Socks.</line>
<line start="483" end="538" speaker="strongbad">I love you guys. I don't know what I'd do without my yearly pair.</line>
<line start="539" end="569" speaker="strongbad">But a guy's gotta keep up appearances, right?</line>
<line start="570" end="625" speaker="strongbad">If peoples found out I have a soft spot for tube socks, it'd be all over.</line>
<line start="626" end="673" speaker="strongbad">It took me years to live down that Martina Navratilova poster.</line>
<line start="674" end="707" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And I will not go down that road again.</line>
<line start="708" end="726" speaker="strongbad">We can be secret friends.</line>
<line start="727" end="752" speaker="strongbad">Like that hunchback kid at school.</line>
<line start="753" end="853" speaker="strongbad">In closing, please disregard any and all negative comments or negative burning you may hear or experience on Decemberween.</line>
<line start="854" end="891" speaker="strongbad">Stealthily Yours, A-Strong Bad.</line>
<line start="943" end="995" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="996" end="1033" speaker="homestar">Ooh, man. I feel de-licious!</line>
<line start="1034" end="1100" speaker="homestar">Does anybody here know if it is either illegal or unethical to wanna eat yourself?</line>
<line start="1101" end="1126" speaker="kingoftown">I sure hope not!</line>
<line start="1127" end="1170" speaker="strongbad">Eww — shut up, king... or I'll stuff you full of coal!</line>
<line start="1171" end="1190" speaker="kingoftown">That wouldn't be so bad!</line>
<line start="1191" end="1256" speaker="kingoftown">A little onion salt, some hot sauce... wouldn't be the first time!</line>
<line start="1257" end="1312" speaker="bubs">Hey, Coach Z! Don'tcha think it's about time you updated that photograph?</line>
<line start="1313" end="1370" speaker="coachz">Heck no! The 74s was the prime of my dating year!</line>
<line start="1371" end="1428" speaker="coachz">In those days ladies would go out with anything that had a mustache.</line>
<line start="1429" end="1499" speaker="homestar">Hey, Strong Bad, I really like your rhinestone cowboy costume.</line>
<line start="1500" end="1534" speaker="strongbad">Uh, you got the wrong 'ween, Homestar.</line>
<line start="1535" end="1575" speaker="strongbad">This is Decemberween. Not the Hallow- one.</line>
<line start="1576" end="1599" speaker="homestar">Oh... right, right.</line>
<line start="1604" end="1618" speaker="homestar">Trick-or-treat!</line>
<line start="1619" end="1644" speaker="strongbad">Does anybody know where Strong Sad is?</line>
<line start="1645" end="1661" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, hello.</line>
<line start="1662" end="1682" speaker="strongsad">I'm right here!</line>
<line start="1683" end="1703" speaker="strongbad">Whoa, I can hardly see you!</line>
<line start="1704" end="1729" speaker="strongbad">You're like the Predator up there!</line>
<line start="1730" end="1811" speaker="strongsad">No, I'm like the most expensive ornament on this tree by about forty-five dollars!</line>
<line start="1812" end="1822" speaker="strongbad">Oh yeah?</line>
<line start="1823" end="1908" speaker="strongbad">Well my four point five cents of plastic sequins and styrofoam are about to bedazzle you right offa this tree!</line>
<line start="1909" end="1929" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">warbles</line>
<line start="1930" end="1944"><homestar>Ooh!</homestar><coachz>Ooh!</coachz><kingoftown>Ooh!</kingoftown></line>
<line start="1945" end="1954" speaker="strongsad" sfx="sfx">screams</line>
<line start="1955" end="1968" speaker="sfx">shatters</line>
<line start="1985" end="2021" speaker="strongmad">HAPPY DECEMBERWEEN!</line>
<line start="2022" end="2074" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="2083" end="2139" speaker="thehomestar">This here's gonna be the biggest Decemberween rat pile in town.</line>
<line start="2140" end="2160" speaker="rumblered" voiceover="voiceover">rumble, rumble...</line>
<line start="2161" end="2195" speaker="thehomestar">Aw, phooey. And after that, phooey.</line>
<line start="2196" end="2213" speaker="thehomestar">Not you again.</line>
<line start="2214" end="2296" speaker="rumblered">Earthling, explain to me this pile of rotten rodentia...rumble.</line>
<line start="2297" end="2322" speaker="thehomestar">It's Decemberween, Rumble Red.</line>
<line start="2323" end="2358" speaker="thehomestar">The most sanitary time of year.</line>
<line start="2359" end="2421" speaker="thehomestar">When everyone piles up all the dead rats they've a-cooma-lated throughout the year.</line>
<line start="2422" end="2501" speaker="rumblered">We don't have any Decemberweens on my planeeeeet, rumble.</line>
<line start="2502" end="2519" speaker="thehomestar">Well, whaddaya know?</line>
<line start="2520" end="2546" speaker="thehomestar">What <em>do</em> they have on your planet?</line>
<line start="2547" end="2566" speaker="rumblered">Oh, not much.</line>
<line start="2567" end="2629" speaker="rumblered">Long lines. Expensive bread. Rumble-doo.</line>
<line start="2630" end="2662"><oldmarzipan>Happy Decemberween, Rumble Red!</oldmarzipan><sfx>ticking</sfx></line>
<line start="2663" end="2681"><rumblered>Cosmic joy!</rumblered><sfx>ticking</sfx></line>
<line start="2682" end="2759"><rumblered>I think this buffalo has showed me the true meaning of December-rumble-ween!</rumblered><sfx>ticking</sfx></line>
<line start="2830" end="2860"><thehomestar>Haw, Haw, Haw.</thehomestar><oldmarzipan>Hee, Hee, Hee.</oldmarzipan></line>
<line start="2861" end="2895" speaker="thehomestar">A Decemberween tradition!</line>
<line start="2914" end="2966" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="2971" end="3003" speaker="strongsad">Dear Argyle Socks,</line>
<line start="3004" end="3057" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
<line start="3099" end="3132" speaker="homestar">Wow, what a great season, Coach Z.</line>
<line start="3133" end="3172" speaker="coachz">You said it, crumb bum. We was undeforted!</line>
<line start="3173" end="3191" speaker="homestar">Maybe you were.</line>
<line start="3192" end="3236" speaker="homestar">Well, have a good holiday. You doing anything special?</line>
<line start="3237" end="3252" speaker="coachz">Aww, totally.</line>
<line start="3253" end="3320" speaker="coachz">I'm havin' all kinds of real people over to my house for a coupla real people parties.</line>
<line start="3321" end="3369" speaker="coachz">Don't you worry about me. I am nat a loser.</line>
<line start="3370" end="3394" speaker="homestar">That's great, Coach Z! Well I...</line>
<line start="3395" end="3438" speaker="homestar">Coach Z? Coach Z?</line>
<line start="3439" end="3472" speaker="homestar">Ohh, Coach Zeeee.</line>
<line start="3473" end="3505" speaker="coachz">I've hit rack battom.</line>
<line start="3506" end="3545" speaker="homestar"><em>(singing)</em> A-listen to me now, cheer up Coach Z.</line>
<line start="3546" end="3623" speaker="homestar">It doesn't have to be creepy and depressing all the time.</line>
<line start="3624" end="3637" speaker="coachz">For real?</line>
<line start="3638" end="3665" speaker="homestar">If you learn to say words right,</line>
<line start="3666" end="3696" speaker="homestar">You'll find out people might</line>
<line start="3697" end="3734" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Not throw up so much when they talk to you!</line>
<line start="3738" end="3754" speaker="coachz">Oh, that'd be nice!</line>
<line start="3755" end="3773" speaker="homestar">Now listen to me.</line>
<line start="3774" end="3809" speaker="homestar">It's almost Decemberween</line>
<line start="3810" end="3869" speaker="homestar">And there's not a single present beneath your tree.</line>
<line start="3870" end="3896" speaker="homestar">When someone asks you, "What's up?"</line>
<line start="3897" end="3930" speaker="homestar">Don't tell them about your butt</line>
<line start="3931" end="3968" speaker="homestar">Or any embarrassing physical problems you might have.</line>
<line start="3969" end="3981" speaker="coachz">I collect those!</line>
<line start="3982" end="4010" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And when you're talking to a pretty girl,</line>
<line start="4011" end="4042" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">On second thought, don't talk to any pretty girls.</line>
<line start="4043" end="4076" speaker="homestar">And you'll find yourself invited</line>
<line start="4077" end="4104" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And probably way less indicted</line>
<line start="4105" end="4160" speaker="homestar">And you won't have to spend Decemberween alone!</line>
<line start="4163" end="4192" speaker="coachz">Hey, thanks for the advice, Homestar!</line>
<line start="4193" end="4230" speaker="coachz">I'd love to come to your house for Decemberween!</line>
<line start="4231" end="4267" speaker="homestar">What? No, no-ho-ho! No, no, no.</line>
<line start="4268" end="4312" speaker="homestar">No, Coach Z, no. No. No, you can't.</line>
<line start="4313" end="4363" speaker="sfx">Decemberween music</line>
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