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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Hremail 7. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en" file="hremail7.swf" width="550" height="400">
   <line start="18" end="117" speaker="sfx">music</line>
   <line start="118" end="143" speaker="homestar">Oh hello everybody everybody!</line>
   <line start="144" end="163" speaker="homestar">I'm Homestar Runner.</line>
   <line start="164" end="196" speaker="homestar">Today's question goes like-a this-a...</line>
   <line start="197" end="213" speaker="sfx">drumroll</line>
   <line start="214" end="235" speaker="homestar">"Greetings Homestar Runner!</line>
   <line start="236" end="269" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Can you talk about some of your favorite drinks?</line>
   <line start="270" end="291" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Johnny Vest in the Chest</line>
   <line start="292" end="314" speaker="homestar">DeKalb, Illinois"</line>
   <line start="315" end="349" speaker="homestar">Of course I can talk about my fave-o drinks!</line>
   <line start="350" end="401" speaker="homestar">And as a national spokesmodel for the Ethical Advancement of Melonade,</line>
   <line start="402" end="472" speaker="homestar">I am contractually unable to drink, talk about, or bathe in any other liquid!</line>
   <line start="473" end="516" speaker="homestar">Most folk think that melonade comes in but one flavor.</line>
   <line start="517" end="612" speaker="homestar">But thanks to giant leaps in melonade technology, we can now choose from hundreds of flavor-encrusted varieties.</line>
   <line start="613" end="647" speaker="homestar">Some of my favo flavors include:</line>
   <line start="648" end="672" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Taco Annihilation,<span style="visibility:hidden"> Athletic Berry Blast, Butt 1 Flavor, Quadruple Triple, Casta Latte Froth, and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench.</span></line>
   <line start="673" end="701" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Taco Annihilation, Athletic Berry Blast,<span style="visibility:hidden"> Butt 1 Flavor, Quadruple Triple, Casta Latte Froth, and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench.</span></line>
   <line start="702" end="723" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Taco Annihilation, Athletic Berry Blast, Butt 1 Flavor,<span style="visibility:hidden"> Quadruple Triple, Casta Latte Froth, and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench.</span></line>
   <line start="724" end="744" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Taco Annihilation, Athletic Berry Blast, Butt 1 Flavor, Quadruple Triple,<span style="visibility:hidden"> Casta Latte Froth, and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench.</span></line>
   <line start="745" end="765" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Taco Annihilation, Athletic Berry Blast, Butt 1 Flavor, Quadruple Triple, Casta Latte Froth,<span style="visibility:hidden"> and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench.</span></line>
   <line start="766" end="803" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Taco Annihilation, Athletic Berry Blast, Butt 1 Flavor, Quadruple Triple, Casta Latte Froth, and Sizzlin' Bacon Guava Quench.</line>
   <line start="804" end="854" speaker="homestar">Or why not try the new line of powdered throat closers.</line>
   <line start="855" end="884" speaker="homestar">Apply directly to the esophagus!</line>
   <line start="901" end="928" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes">coughing</line>
   <line start="929" end="956" speaker="homestar"><em>(gasping)</em> Huuuh— that's good stuff!</line>
   <line start="957" end="991"><strongbad><em>(singing off-key)</em> I have a face, and it <em>(unintelligible)</em>,</strongbad><sfx>music</sfx></line>
   <line start="992" end="1044"><strongbad><em>(singing off-key)</em> I'm Strong Bad, he's The Cheat and I'm Strong Bad...</strongbad><sfx>music</sfx></line>
   <line start="1048" end="1075" speaker="strongbad">What's going on here, crap for nose?</line>
   <line start="1076" end="1098" speaker="homestar"><em>(hoarsely)</em> Oh, hi, Strong Bad.</line>
   <line start="1099" end="1149" speaker="homestar"><em>(gradually improves)</em> I'm in the middle of responding to a fan email.</line>
   <line start="1150" end="1164" speaker="strongbad">A what-mail?</line>
   <line start="1165" end="1196" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">An email, like on the Internet!</line>
   <line start="1197" end="1221" speaker="strongbad">A what-mail on the Inter-what?</line>
   <line start="1222" end="1230" speaker="homestar">You know,<span style="visibility:hidden"> WWW, hyperlinks, AOL keywords, and all that good stuff!</span></line>
   <line start="1231" end="1254" speaker="homestar">You know, WWW,<span style="visibility:hidden"> hyperlinks, AOL keywords, and all that good stuff!</span></line>
   <line start="1255" end="1269" speaker="homestar">You know, WWW, hyperlinks,<span style="visibility:hidden"> AOL keywords, and all that good stuff!</span></line>
   <line start="1270" end="1290" speaker="homestar">You know, WWW, hyperlinks, AOL keywords,<span style="visibility:hidden"> and all that good stuff!</span></line>
   <line start="1291" end="1314" speaker="homestar">You know, WWW, hyperlinks, AOL keywords, and all that good stuff!</line>
   <line start="1315" end="1357" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, your dumbness never ceases to amaze.</line>
   <line start="1358" end="1397" speaker="strongbad">I don't even know half the jibber you jabber these days!</line>
   <line start="1398" end="1425" speaker="strongsad">No, Homestar's right.</line>
   <line start="1426" end="1517" speaker="strongsad"><em>(increasingly echoed)</em> Electronic mail is transmitted from one computer to another, via a web of computers connected to phone line—</line>
   <line start="1518" end="1535" speaker="strongbad">Hush down, crap for mouth!</line>
   <line start="1536" end="1571" speaker="strongsad">When you dial up, it sounds like this!</line>
   <line start="1572" end="1658" speaker="strongsad" sfx="yes" voiceover="yes">imitation of modem handshake noises</line>
   <line start="1684" end="1701" speaker="strongbad">Let me get this straight.</line>
   <line start="1702" end="1781" speaker="strongbad">You guys are saying that my adoring fans could be sending me piles of what-mails right now, and I'm not getting them?</line>
   <line start="1782" end="1804" speaker="strongsad"><em>(slowly)</em> Emails.</line>
   <line start="1805" end="1853" speaker="strongbad"><em>(very slowly and wobbly)</em> Eeeee-mails?</line>
   <line start="1854" end="1890" speaker="homestar">Well, you need an email address first.</line>
   <line start="1891" end="1958" speaker="homestar">I can let you borrow until you get your own domain.</line>
   <line start="1959" end="1979" speaker="strongbad">Thanks, crap for ear.</line>
   <line start="1980" end="2038" speaker="strongbad">But my name at your name dot com sounds like a terrible email address.</line>
   <line start="2039" end="2078" speaker="strongbad">I'm sure I'll be able to figure out getting my own domain.</line>
   <line start="2079" end="2134" speaker="strongbad">Come on, The Cheat. Let's walk over here a few feet and steal Homestar's computer.</line>
   <line start="2135" end="2157" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Umm... that's my old one.</line>
   <line start="2158" end="2176" speaker="homestar">It barely works.</line>
   <line start="2177" end="2220" speaker="homestar">I'd be surprised if you could check more than forty emails on it.</line>
   <line start="2221" end="2244" speaker="strongbad">Ohh, you can't fool me.</line>
   <line start="2245" end="2266" speaker="strongbad">This thing's top of the line!</line>
   <line start="2267" end="2300" speaker="strongbad">It's got <em>two</em> contrast knobs!</line>
   <line start="2301" end="2339" speaker="strongbad">Let's go start answering fan mail in humorous fashion.</line>
   <line start="2340" end="2364" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Nobody's ever done that before!</line>
   <line start="2365" end="2393" speaker="homestar">Thanks for taking my garbage out, guys!</line>
   <line start="2394" end="2420" speaker="homestar">Come back and do the dishes if you want!</line>
   <line start="2442" end="2461" speaker="homestar"><em>(angrily)</em> Please, leave.</line>
   <line start="2462" end="2495" speaker="strongsad">Awwwww...</line>
   <line start="2509" end="2529"><homestar>So there you have it, Johnny!</homestar><sfx volume="0.8">music fades in</sfx></line>
   <line start="2530" end="2579"><homestar>I talked about some of my favo drinks just like you asked.</homestar><sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx></line>
   <line start="2580" end="2663"><homestar>I'll tell you about my non-Melonade favorite drinks in March of 2003, when my contract expires.</homestar><sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx></line>
   <line start="2664" end="2708"><homestar>Now I have to go make me a sweet-bath.</homestar><sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx></line>
   <line start="2709" end="2740"><homestar><em>(singing)</em> a-Gonna take a bath in some Melonade...<span style="visibility:hidden"> oh it kinda stings my skin...</span></homestar><sfx volume="0.8">music fades out</sfx></line>
   <line start="2741" end="2767" speaker="homestar"><em>(singing)</em> a-Gonna take a bath in some Melonade... oh it kinda stings my skin...</line>
   <line start="2798" end="2842" speaker="strongbad">So, are these green lines the emails from my fans or what?</line>
   <line start="2843" end="2866" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
   <line start="2867" end="2911" speaker="strongbad">I have to type something?? I thought this was a computer!</line>
   <line start="2912" end="2935" speaker="strongbad">How am <em>I</em> supposed to type with—</line>
   <line start="2936" end="2949" speaker="thecheat">Exclamatory The Cheat noises</line>
   <line start="2950" end="2985" speaker="strongbad">Oh, yeah... smart thinking!</line>
   <line start="2986" end="3019" speaker="strongbad">Now go call Abdi and make him send me some fanmail!</line>
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