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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="jailcartoon.swf" width="550" height="400">

  <line start="24" end="40" sfx="sfx">footsteps</line>
  <line start="73" end="92" sfx="sfx">footsteps</line>
  <line start="130" end="134" sfx="sfx">footsteps</line>
  <line start="139" end="147" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="149" end="162" speaker="strongbad">You said it, The Cheat!</line>
  <line start="163" end="218" speaker="strongbad">Once we get our hands on Bubs's fundraiser candy bars,<br />our troubles will be over.</line>
  <line start="219" end="261" speaker="strongbad">We can retire, maybe get a little place in Strong Badia...<br />I dunno...</line>
  <line start="262" end="273" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="274" end="316" speaker="strongbad">All right, remember the drill.<br />Go straight for the crispy crackly ones!</line>
  <line start="317" end="355" speaker="strongbad">Don't waste your time on them plain ol' chocolates.<br />Those things are fool's gold!</line>
  <line start="364" end="383" speaker="strongbad">Okay, hand me the explosives.</line>
  <line start="462" end="483" sfx="sfx">explosions</line>
  <line start="486" end="514">
    <strongbad>The Cheat, I told you to remove the fthoom!</strongbad>
  <line start="515" end="534">
    <strongbad>All we needed was the bang!</strongbad>
    <homestar voiceover="voiceover" volume="0.8"><i>Weh ooh weh ohh weh ohh weh...</i></homestar>
  <line start="535" end="561" speaker="homestar"><i>Weh ooh weh ohh weh ohh weh...</i></line>
  <line start="562" end="582">
    <strongbad>Oh no, we've been found ou—</strongbad>
    <homestar><i>Weh ooh weh ohh weh ohh weh...</i></homestar>
  <line start="583" end="616" speaker="homestar"><i>DoooooooOOOOOOOOOOWIP! DoooooooOOOOOOOOOOWIP!</i></line>
  <line start="617" end="629">
    <homestar><i>DoooooooOOOOOOOOOOWIP! DoooooooOOOOOOOOOOWIP!</i></homestar>
    <strongbad>Oh no, we've—</strongbad>
  <line start="630" end="658" speaker="homestar"><i>Meh! Meh! Meh! Meh!</i></line>
  <line start="659" end="664" speaker="strongbad">Oh—</line>
  <line start="665" end="705" speaker="homestar"><i>DooooooooDEEEEEEEEEEdooooooooDEEEEEEEEEE!</i></line>
  <line start="721" end="750" speaker="strongbad">Oh no we've been found out.</line>
  <line start="751" end="775" speaker="coachz">I mighta guessed you was behind all this!</line>
  <line start="776" end="809" speaker="homestar">Coach Z, get these low-lifes out of my sight!</line>
  <line start="820" end="854" speaker="strongbad">You set me up! <i>You set me up!</i></line>
  <line start="855" end="886" speaker="strongbad">The Cheat, te-tell him that he set you up.</line>
  <line start="889" end="907">
    <strongbad volume="1.5">YOU SET ME UP!!!</strongbad>
    <thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat>
  <line start="909" end="1075" speaker="sfx">music</line>
  <line start="1088" end="1182" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Dear Prisoner Number 5408, aka Strong Bad, aka Professor Tor Coolguy,</line>
  <line start="1183" end="1233" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I can only hope your incarceration turns your life around as much as it has mine.</line>
  <line start="1239" end="1290" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I feel cooler and less like I suck so bad.</line>
  <line start="1291" end="1354" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I've made some changes around the house. Your computer room is now my Tai Chi space.</line>
  <line start="1357" end="1412" speaker="strongsad">Hai-toh... Beng... Gait!</line>
  <line start="1414" end="1469" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Well, I gotta go. Marzipan and I have a baklava in the oven.</line>
  <line start="1470" end="1509" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Hoping you don't get shivved, Strong Sad.</line>
  <line start="1533" end="1566" speaker="strongbad">You gotta get us outta the joint, man!</line>
  <line start="1567" end="1597" speaker="strongbad">I don't think The Cheat is gonna make it!</line>
  <line start="1598" end="1637" speaker="thecheat">crazed The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="1643" end="1649" speaker="strongmad">WRAH!</line>
  <line start="1667" end="1700" speaker="strongbad">Sweet lady freedom! Let's make out!</line>
  <line start="1701" end="1714" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="1715" end="1756" speaker="strongbad">Hey, shut up! What are you, horning in on my girl?<br />Only I get to make out with—</line>
  <line start="1757" end="1774" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="1775" end="1799" speaker="strongbad">Oh. Right. The escaping.</line>
  <line start="1860" end="1884" speaker="strongmad">I BROUGHT YOU A CAKE!</line>

  <line start="1921" end="1932" speaker="homestar">Hey, lady!</line>
  <line start="1933" end="1965" speaker="marzipan">Homestar, did you know that crime is on the rise?</line>
  <line start="1968" end="1993" speaker="homestar">Yeah, no. Is it?</line>
  <line start="1994" end="2041" speaker="marzipan">Yes, things are very serious now.<br />So what are you going to do to protect me?</line>
  <line start="2042" end="2099" speaker="homestar">Um, I could put a dash between<br />"Homestar" and "Runner" from now on.</line>
  <line start="2100" end="2121" speaker="marzipan">Really? You'd do that for me?</line>
  <line start="2122" end="2139" speaker="homestar">No, of course not!</line>
  <line start="2145" end="2175" speaker="strongbad">Oh man, The Cheat, we struck it rich this time!</line>
  <line start="2176" end="2222" speaker="strongbad">Now we can retire to da MOOOOOOOOOOOON!</line>
  <line start="2244" end="2286" speaker="bubs">So, describe to me what the perpetrator looked like.</line>
  <line start="2287" end="2334" speaker="kingoftown"> Had a head like a big ol' round ol'...</line>
  <line start="2335" end="2354">
    <kingoftown>Red ol'...</kingoftown>
  <line start="2355" end="2387">
    <kingoftown>Nasty ol' egg!</kingoftown>
  <line start="2388" end="2396">
    <bubs>I see...</bubs>
  <line start="2397" end="2436" speaker="kingoftown">And hands looked like biscuit dough!</line>
  <line start="2437" end="2463" speaker="bubs">Uh-huh! Is this the man?</line>
  <line start="2464" end="2494" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">It was Biscuitdoughhandsman! I knew it!</line>
  <line start="2523" end="2555" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Come on, The Cheat! Quit being such an old The Cheat!</line>
  <line start="2556" end="2592" speaker="strongbad">We gotta come out of retirement for this one last job!</line>
  <line start="2593" end="2607" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="2608" end="2649" speaker="strongbad">Nononono, NOnononono! It's like this:</line>
  <line start="2650" end="2717" speaker="strongbad">The ransom money becomes the new retirement money.<br />And the retirement money becomes the new college fund.</line>

  <line start="2723" end="2765" speaker="strongbad">And the college fund... eh, we blow on a really tricked-out van.</line>
  <line start="2766" end="2782" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="2783" end="2882" speaker="strongbad">Yes! Another victim claimed by Strong Bad's Powers of Persuasion!<br />No living The Cheat can resist the P.o.P.!</line>
  <line start="2883" end="2901" speaker="thecheat">Annoyed The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="2902" end="2941" speaker="strongbad">Hang on, I'm not done yet!<br />And uh... um...</line>
  <line start="2942" end="2961" speaker="strongbad">Okay I was done. Let's go.</line>
  <line start="2978" end="3006" speaker="kingoftown">Poopsmith, I'm home!</line>
  <line start="3007" end="3035" speaker="kingoftown">Man, I feel like some serious biscuit dough.</line>
  <line start="3045" end="3063" speaker="kingoftown">Poopsmith?</line>
  <line start="3068" end="3089" speaker="kingoftown">Poopsmith!</line>
  <line start="3091" end="3109" speaker="kingoftown">Poopsmith?</line>
  <line start="3110" end="3139" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Dun Dun Dunnn...</line>
  <line start="3145" end="3178" speaker="kingoftown">They've stolen my poopsmith!</line>
  <line start="3190" end="3240" speaker="homestar">Alright, Pom Pom, the Poopsmith is missing,<br />and we gots to find him!</line>
  <line start="3241" end="3273" speaker="homestar">We're your first and last line of defense!</line>
  <line start="3273" end="3296" speaker="homestar">Only you can prevent scouting!</line>
  <line start="3297" end="3325" speaker="homestar">Boy, do we need forest fires!</line>
  <line start="3342" end="3386" speaker="homestar">Aha! Pom Pom!<br />What are you doing out past curfew?</line>

  <line start="3387" end="3399" speaker="pompom">bubbles</line>
  <line start="3400" end="3449" speaker="homestar">Don't play games with me, Roundy-Man!<br />Just who are you working with?</line>
  <line start="3450" end="3462" speaker="pompom">bubbles</line>
  <line start="3463" end="3499" speaker="homestar">Homestar Runner, eh?<br />Sounds like a nogoodnik to me!</line>
  <line start="3503" end="3524" speaker="pompom">bubbles</line>
  <line start="3525" end="3551" speaker="homestar"><i>(sniffs)</i> Pom Pom... did you step in something?</line>
  <line start="3576" end="3626" speaker="strongbad">All right, doodie-man. It's time to deliver my ultimate ultimatum!</line>
  <line start="3627" end="3657" speaker="strongbad">The Cheat! Ready with the viderocamera!</line>
  <line start="3658" end="3666" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="3680" end="3719" speaker="strongbad">Wait, hang on!<br />Almost forgot to disguise my identity!</line>
  <line start="3732" end="3747" speaker="strongbad">Now we're ready.</line>
  <line start="3748" end="3793" speaker="strongbad"><i>(echoing)</i> Attention, whatever weirdos are<br />concerned about the Poopsmith!</line>
  <line start="3794" end="3807" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, hey Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="3808" end="3876" speaker="strongbad">What the..? Aww, holy crap! I thought I smelled bacon!<br />How'd you find us?</line>
  <line start="3877" end="3914" speaker="homestar">We followed this mysterious trail the Poopsmith left.</line>
  <line start="3915" end="3922" speaker="strongbad">Eww...</line>
  <line start="3931" end="3969" speaker="homestar">That, and we got an anonymous tip from Strong Sad.</line>

  <line start="3970" end="3989" speaker="strongsad">I told them you were behind the fence.</line>
  <line start="3990" end="4029" speaker="strongbad">You sold me out! <i>You sold me out!</i></line>
  <line start="4030" end="4055" speaker="strongbad">The Cheat, tell him that he... oh, never mind.</line>
  <line start="4056" end="4087" speaker="bubs">Oh man! It's just Strong Bad!</line>
  <line start="4088" end="4133" speaker="coachz">Once again, Biscuitdoughhandsman slips through our fingers!</line>
  <line start="4147" end="4187" speaker="homestar">Well, kids and people, it just goes to show,</line>
  <line start="4188" end="4232" speaker="homestar">Strong Sad doing tai chi is really, really funny.</line>
  <line start="4233" end="4243" speaker="strongsad">Hey!</line>
  <line start="4244" end="4324" speaker="homestar">What? It was!<br />You were all like Pah-ku-lah! Honh! Pwing!</line>
  <line start="4325" end="4348" speaker="marzipan">Who wants some bak-a-lava?</line>
  <line start="4410" end="4435" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Baka-ma-lava anybody?</line>
  <line start="4503" end="4521" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Hi, this is Marzipan.</line>
  <line start="4522" end="4529" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
  <line start="4530" end="4591" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Hello, Marzipan! This is Professor Tor Coolguy!</line>
  <line start="4592" end="4653" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I was just calling to see if you'd be interested<br />in <i>preparing for your doom!</i></line>
  <line start="4666" end="4723" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Er... not really calling to see, uh...<br />I shouldn't have really given you a choice, I mean, uh...</line>
  <line start="4724" end="4793" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You should just go ahead and prepare for your doom.<br />Cause it's on its way, man. It's gonna be some doom.</line>
  <line start="4794" end="4797" speaker="sfx">beep</line>

  <line start="4803" end="4833" speaker="strongbad">Ho-ho! Great idea, The Cheat!</line>
  <line start="4834" end="4881" speaker="strongbad">Even on the inside, Professor Tor Coolguy cannot be stopped!</line>
  <line start="4882" end="4913" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Dun Dun Dunnn...</line>
  <line start="5198" end="5259" speaker="homestar">All right, buster, move it along here!<br />Nothing to see, nothing to see!</line>
  <line start="5356" end="5371" speaker="homestar">Is this you?</line>
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