Subtitles:sbemail193/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail193.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="16" end="76" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> My email is a cell phone, no it's not! My email is a CAR-phone! That's right.</line> <line start="83" end="93" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line> <line start="94" end="143" speaker="strongbad">"What is your favorite movie, and why? And where, if applicable.</line> <line start="144" end="179" speaker="strongbad">"Sincerely, L. Eftformat"</line> <line start="180" end="229" speaker="strongbad">Oh, think you're pretty clever, eh? E-email cummings</line> <line start="244" end="300" speaker="strongbad">I don't have a favorite movie, but I do have a favorite genre of movies.</line> <line start="301" end="323" speaker="strongbad">R-rated movies!</line> <line start="324" end="355" speaker="strongbad">A-can I get a 'restricted'? <em>(ending on high pitch)</em></line> <line start="356" end="368" speaker="strongsad">A-restricted!</line> <line start="369" end="380" speaker="strongbad">Not from you!</line> <line start="381" end="424" speaker="strongsad">Aww, I've been waitin' three days to do that.</line> <line start="425" end="495" speaker="strongbad">The only thing better than R-rated movies are double and triple R-rated movies!</line> <line start="496" end="526" speaker="strongbad">Let me break down the subtle differences for you.</line> <line start="527" end="581" speaker="strongbad">In an R-rated movie, the good guy only blows people up in self-defense.</line> <line start="582" end="623" speaker="strongbad">But double R-rated movies are allowed to blur the line!</line> <line start="624" end="738" speaker="strongbad">Man, I saw this one double R-rated movie, where the good guy stepped on this rabbit, and he didn't kill it, but then later on in the movie, he wished he did!</line> <line start="739" end="755" speaker="strongbad">The GOOD GUY!</line> <line start="756" end="803" speaker="strongbad">That's messed up, man! You can't let kids watch that kind of thing!</line> <line start="804" end="880" speaker="strongbad">Then in triple R-rated movies, you can show bullets go all the way through people!</line> <line start="881" end="946" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">In the front, through their guts and organs and breakfast and RIGHT OUT the BACK!</line> <line start="947" end="968" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">That is nasty, man!</line> <line start="969" end="1022" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">There's some triple R-rated stuff out there that even <em>I</em> can't stomach.</line> <line start="1023" end="1054" speaker="strongbad">Only three have ever been made:</line> <line start="1055" end="1095" speaker="strongbad">'Women's Penitentiary Bakesale Nightmare,'</line> <line start="1096" end="1131" speaker="strongbad">'The Fists of Knuckles' series,</line> <line start="1132" end="1145" speaker="strongbad">and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</line> <line start="1146" end="1159"><strongbad>and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</strongbad><sfx>creepy music</sfx></line> <line start="1160" end="1178" speaker="strongbad">and 'Axe-Gun: Legends of the Brain-Outener.'</line> <line start="1179" end="1199" speaker="sfx">creepy music</line> <line start="1200" end="1276" speaker="strongbad">They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast.</line> <line start="1277" end="1303" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it,<span style="visibility:hidden"> which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</span></line> <line start="1304" end="1321" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is,<span style="visibility:hidden"> you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</span></line> <line start="1322" end="1373" speaker="strongbad">And even if a theater were showing it, which ours conveniently is, you gotta be like sixty-something years old just to buy tickets.</line> <line start="1410" end="1430" speaker="strongbad">Ow, my pension.</line> <line start="1431" end="1452" speaker="strongbad">Oh, hello, my good man.</line> <line start="1453" end="1514" speaker="strongbad">Just taking my two sons, here, who are home from college, to see their first triple R-rated movie.</line> <line start="1515" end="1553" speaker="coachz">Hey, Pop, can I borrow the Vorlvo?</line> <line start="1554" end="1585" speaker="bubs">Dad, Trina and I are moving in together.</line> <line start="1586" end="1605" speaker="strongbad">I'll deal with you two later!</line> <line start="1606" end="1668" speaker="strongbad">Heh heh. Kids that are old enough for me to be in my sixties. What're you gonna do?</line> <line start="1669" end="1732" speaker="cardgage">I'm sorry, Bridget, but can I steep some identificaption?</line> <line start="1733" end="1826" speaker="strongbad">Uh, I seem to have left my identificaption in my other, older, and more professional briefcase...uh...</line> <line start="1827" end="1885" speaker="cardgage">Soggy, Junior. Come back when you're all grold up.</line> <line start="1910" end="1945" speaker="bubs">Man, I told you that lame-brained plan wouldn't work.</line> <line start="1946" end="1972" speaker="bubs">We shoulda been <em>your</em> parents.</line> <line start="1973" end="2031" speaker="strongbad">What? I'm way too good looking for anyone to believe that I'm you guys' kid.</line> <line start="2032" end="2067" speaker="strongbad">And Coach Z only <em>kinda</em> looks like my mom.</line> <line start="2068" end="2104" speaker="coachz">Hey, thanks! You want I should shave my legs?</line> <line start="2109" end="2116" speaker="strongbad">Ignoring that.</line> <line start="2117" end="2160" speaker="strongbad">Well, it looks like there's only one thing left to do.</line> <line start="2169" end="2234" speaker="strongbad">Ah, nothing like watching lowercase r-rated movies on scrambled cable.</line> <line start="2235" end="2254" speaker="other">Stop eating glass!</line> <line start="2255" end="2282" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I think I just saw a puppy get eaten!</line> <line start="2283" end="2299" speaker="other">Cakey blood.</line> <line start="2300" end="2332" speaker="bubs" voiceover="voiceover">That is one luuurid bake sale.</line> <line start="2333" end="2362" speaker="other">Real gross wound.</line> <line start="2363" end="2394" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ewww. Look at all that breakfast.</line> <line start="2395" end="2415" speaker="other">Broken skull puncture!</line> <line start="2416" end="2449" speaker="newpaper" sfx="sfx">shuffling noises</line> <line start="2450" end="2480" speaker="other">Two underwears.</line> <line start="2495" end="2549" speaker="strongsad">Just a couple more days, I swear! He's waaaaaay overdue!</line> <line start="2563" end="2642" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">They even banned those movies in Transylvania, where you're required by law to eat puppies for breakfast!</line> <line start="2650" end="2720" speaker="kingoftown">Poopsmith, pack-a my bags! And don't forget my plastic fangs!</line> </transcript>
