Subtitles:xmas08/en

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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for A Death-Defying Decemberween. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="xmas08.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="102" end="123" speaker="strongbad">Hot choco, everyone!</line>
  <line start="124" end="139" speaker="strongbad">Hope it's not too...<span style="visibility:hidden"> late!</span></line>
  <line start="140" end="152" speaker="strongbad">Hope it's not too... late!</line>
  <line start="153" end="164" speaker="strongbad">Choco? <span style="visibility:hidden"> Late?</span></line>
  <line start="164" end="175" speaker="strongbad">Choco? Late?</line>
  <line start="176" end="198" speaker="strongbad">Chocolate? Huh?</line>
  <line start="199" end="214" speaker="bubs">What a cut-up!</line>
  <line start="215" end="237" speaker="coachz">A real ham!</line>
  <line start="238" end="264" speaker="strongmad">THE '50S!</line>
  <line start="270" end="319" speaker="marzipan">Thanks, Strong Bad! What a wonderful byproduct of your parole!</line>
  <line start="320" end="338" speaker="homestar">Pssh! Whatever!</line>
  <line start="339" end="376" speaker="homestar">That's not death-defying entertainment, Strong Bad!</line>
  <line start="377" end="394" speaker="strongbad">But I wasn't talking about...<span style="visibility:hidden"> Hot chocolate i-</span></line>
  <line start="395" end="405" speaker="strongbad">But I wasn't talking about... Hot chocolate i-</line>
  <line start="406" end="437" speaker="homestar">That's right! This Decemberweeve,</line>
  <line start="438" end="444" speaker="homestar">I, <span style="visibility:hidden">homestarrunner.com, will attempt to sled down...</span></line>
  <line start="445" end="464" speaker="homestar">I, homestarrunner.com, <span style="visibility:hidden">will attempt to sled down...</span></line>
  <line start="465" end="487" speaker="homestar">I, homestarrunner.com, will attempt to sled down...</line>
  <line start="488" end="501" speaker="homestar">the Steep Deep!</line>
  <line start="502" end="511" speaker="all" sfx="sfx">gasp</line>
  <line start="512" end="529" speaker="coachz">The Steep Deep!</line>
  <line start="530" end="593" speaker="coachz">No one's ever been brave-slash-boneheaded enough to try and conquer <em>that</em> monster!</line>
  <line start="594" end="636" speaker="bubs">You'll break your face into an unrecognizable clump!</line>
  <line start="637" end="663" speaker="homestar">No way, dog! No way, Bubs!</line>
  <line start="664" end="705" speaker="homestar">My face doesn't know the <em>meaning</em> of "unrecognizable clump"!</line>
  <line start="706" end="729" speaker="strongbad">What about the rest of you?</line>
  <line start="730" end="745" speaker="homestar">I'll ask them later.</line>
  <line start="746" end="804" speaker="homestar">Just mark your calendars! Pre-game starts at twelve, kickoff's set for 12:30.</line>
  <line start="805" end="837" speaker="homestar">Death-defying entertainment! <em>(echo)</em></line>
  <line start="838" end="884" speaker="announcer">We now return to Homestar Runner's Death-Defying Decemberween Special.</line>
  <line start="885" end="902"><announcer>We now return to Homestar Runner's Death-Defying Decemberween Special.</announcer><sfx>canned applause</sfx></line>
  <line start="903" end="946"><sfx>piano playing</sfx><sfx>canned applause</sfx></line>
  <line start="947" end="980" speaker="homestar">Oh, hi! I didn't see you come in.</line>
  <line start="981" end="1026" speaker="homestar">Sure is cold out there. Would you like a cup of hot jones?</line>
  <line start="1027" end="1039" speaker="other">"Oh! Ooh!"</line>
  <line start="1040" end="1048"><audience>"Oh! Ooh!"</audience><other volume="0.8">Hot what?</other></line>
  <line start="1049" end="1062" speaker="homestar">That's better.</line>
  <line start="1067" end="1120" speaker="homestar">You know, nothing says "Decemberween" like death-defying entertainment.</line>
  <line start="1121" end="1176" speaker="homestar">That's why, this Decemberweeve, I'm going to attempt to sled down the Steep Deep.</line>
  <line start="1177" end="1183" speaker="sfx">gasp</line>
  <line start="1184" end="1203" speaker="homestar">I might could die.</line>
  <line start="1204" end="1212" speaker="sfx">canned laughter</line>
  <line start="1213" end="1225"><sfx>canned laughter</sfx><sfx>doorbell</sfx></line>
  <line start="1226" end="1251" speaker="homestar">I wonder who that could be.</line>
  <line start="1255" end="1267" speaker="sfx">laughing and cheering</line>
  <line start="1268" end="1290"><sfx>laughing and cheering</sfx><other volume="0.6">Onion Bubs!</other></line>
  <line start="1291" end="1355" speaker="bubs">Well, hey, Homestar! You didn't tell me you were having a holiday special over tonight!</line>
  <line start="1356" end="1359" speaker="sfx">canned laughter</line>
  <line start="1360" end="1387"><sfx>canned laughter</sfx><homestar sfx="sfx">fake laughter</homestar><bubs sfx="sfx">fake laughter</bubs></line>
  <line start="1388" end="1405" speaker="homestar">Come on in, Bubs.</line>
  <line start="1406" end="1454" speaker="homestar">Care to stick around for some soft focus and sparkle filters?</line>
  <line start="1455" end="1473" speaker="bubs">I'd love to!</line>
  <line start="1474" end="1508" speaker="sfx">harp strum</line>
  <line start="1509" end="1544" speaker="homestar">Say, Bubs! Say, Bubs! What's in the package?</line>
  <line start="1545" end="1564" speaker="bubs">Well, open it up!</line>
  <line start="1565" end="1578" speaker="sfx">box opening</line>
  <line start="1579" end="1584" speaker="homestar">Gee whiz! <span style="visibility:hidden">A brand new sleddin' board!</span></line>
  <line start="1584" end="1593"><homestar>Gee whiz! <span style="visibility:hidden">A brand new sleddin' board!</span></homestar><sfx>gasping in awe</sfx></line>
  <line start="1594" end="1604"><homestar>Gee whiz! A brand new sleddin' board!</homestar><sfx>gasping in awe</sfx></line>
  <line start="1605" end="1618" speaker="homestar">Gee whiz! A brand new sleddin' board!</line>
  <line start="1619" end="1646" speaker="homestar">Just what I needed for the Steep Deep!</line>
  <line start="1647" end="1677" speaker="bubs">And I pre-printed an epitaph on there,</line>
  <line start="1678" end="1717" speaker="bubs">so it can double as a gravestone in case you don't make it!</line>
  <line start="1718" end="1722" speaker="sfx">canned laughter</line>
  <line start="1723" end="1761"><sfx>canned laughter</sfx><homestar sfx="sfx">long groan</homestar></line>
  <line start="1762" end="1774" speaker="homestar">Gulp!</line>
  <line start="1775" end="1790" speaker="sfx">canned laughter</line>
  <line start="1791" end="1829" speaker="strongbad">What a crock-pot full of smaller crock-pots!</line>
  <line start="1830" end="1866" speaker="strongbad"><em>I</em> should be the one sitting  in a flimsy holiday-themed set</line>
  <line start="1867" end="1914" speaker="strongbad">on a soundstage promoting <em>my</em> upcoming daredevilry!</line>
  <line start="1915" end="1942" speaker="strongbad">Stupid conditions of my parole!</line>
  <line start="1943" end="1963" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="1964" end="1981" speaker="strongbad">Where d'you think you're going?</line>
  <line start="1982" end="1998" speaker="thecheat">explanatory The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="1999" end="2048" speaker="strongbad">A previous engagement? Since when do you talk like that?</line>
  <line start="2049" end="2068" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="2072" end="2121" speaker="strongbad">This is very unsuspicious behavior for The Cheat.</line>
  <line start="2122" end="2155" speaker="strongbad">Which, of course, makes it <em>very</em> suspicious!</line>
  <line start="2156" end="2220" speaker="strongbad">As soon as I finish this cup of hot jones, I'm gonna find out what he's up to.</line>
  <line start="2221" end="2232" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">slurping noises</line>
  <line start="2233" end="2258" speaker="strongbad">Oh. That's good jones.</line>
  <line start="2335" end="2351" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.8">What the crap?</line>
  <line start="2352" end="2365" speaker="sfx">shoveling noises</line>
  <line start="2366" end="2380" speaker="homestar">All right, The Cheat.</line>
  <line start="2381" end="2425" speaker="homestar">Now, you're sure no one will see this buried here when I sled down?</line>
  <line start="2426" end="2442" speaker="thecheat">affirmative The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="2443" end="2485" speaker="homestar">Thanks, man. I owe you big time for this one.</line>
  <line start="2486" end="2503" speaker="sfx">shoveling noises</line>
  <line start="2504" end="2552" speaker="strongbad">So, The Cheat's helping Homestar the cheat, eh?</line>
  <line start="2553" end="2602" speaker="strongbad">I wonder what would happen without that mattress there...</line>
  <line start="2603" end="2630" speaker="strongbad">Hmm..</line>
  <line start="2638" end="2640" speaker="sfx">record scratch</line>
  <line start="2640" end="2651"><sfx>record scratch</sfx><strongbad>Oh, wait.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="2651" end="2693" speaker="strongbad">Homestar would probably die! I gotta go move it!</line>
  <line start="2698" end="2705" speaker="sfx">record scratch</line>
  <line start="2706" end="2736" speaker="strongbad">I was really wondering for a second there.</line>
  <line start="2737" end="2774"><theannouncer>Ladies and gentlemen, here he is!</theannouncer><sfx>ominous music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2775" end="2814"><theannouncer>The man that's about to do a thing!</theannouncer><sfx>ominous music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2815" end="2852"><theannouncer>Homestar Runner!</theannouncer><sfx>ominous music</sfx></line>
  <line start="2853" end="2885" speaker="homestar">I'm not very good at speeches...!</line>
  <line start="2910" end="2931" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">screaming noises</line>
  <line start="2932" end="2941" speaker="sfx">suspenseful music</line>
  <line start="2942" end="2951" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">screaming noises</line>
  <line start="2952" end="2958" speaker="sfx">suspenseful music</line>
  <line start="2959" end="2965" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">screaming noises</line>
  <line start="2966" end="2970" speaker="sfx">suspenseful music</line>
  <line start="2971" end="2974" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">screaming noises</line>
  <line start="2975" end="2977" speaker="sfx">suspenseful music</line>
  <line start="2978" end="2979" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">screaming noises</line>
  <line start="2980" end="2981" speaker="sfx">suspenseful music</line>
  <line start="2982" end="2987" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">screaming noises</line>
  <line start="2988" end="3000" speaker="sfx">shing</line>
  <line start="3001" end="3006" speaker="sfx">ding</line>
  <line start="3007" end="3011" speaker="sfx">fanfare</line>
  <line start="3011" end="3025"><sfx>fanfare</sfx><coachz>He made it!</coachz></line>
  <line start="3026" end="3036"><sfx>fanfare</sfx><homestar>I made it?!</homestar></line>
  <line start="3037" end="3058" speaker="strongbad">He made it?!</line>
  <line start="3059" end="3091" speaker="homestar">The Cheat! What happened to my mattress</line>
  <line start="3092" end="3096" speaker="homestar">full of <span style="visibility:hidden">hammers, broken glass, and candy canes sucked down till they're all pointy?</span></line>
  <line start="3097" end="3103" speaker="homestar">full of hammers, <span style="visibility:hidden">broken glass, and candy canes sucked down till they're all pointy?</span></line>
  <line start="3104" end="3112" speaker="homestar">full of hammers, broken glass,<span style="visibility:hidden"> and candy canes sucked down till they're all pointy?</span></line>
  <line start="3113" end="3145" speaker="homestar">full of hammers, broken glass, and candy canes sucked down till they're all pointy?</line>
  <line start="3146" end="3177" speaker="strongbad">Wait, that mattress was full of danger?</line>
  <line start="3178" end="3208" speaker="strongbad">Why would you want to land on something like that?</line>
  <line start="3209" end="3256" speaker="marzipan">All right, Homestar! It's time to go to my parents' house for Decemberweeve brunch!</line>
  <line start="3257" end="3285" speaker="homestar">Oh, the joy and the glory.</line>
  <line start="3286" end="3325" speaker="homestar">Because I safely made it down the Steep Deep,</line>
  <line start="3326" end="3400" speaker="homestar">I get to spend another Decemberween with Mrs. Marzipan and her latest husband.</line>
  <line start="3401" end="3454" speaker="marzipan">Seth is having some of his philosophy department colleagues over again this year.</line>
  <line start="3455" end="3524" speaker="strongbad">Have fun, Homestar! Thanks for the death-defying entertainment!</line>
  <line start="3525" end="3547" speaker="strongbad">I gotta give Homestar credit.</line>
  <line start="3548" end="3627" speaker="strongbad">Using ridiculously elaborate schemes involving bone-curdling injuries to avoid spending time with family</line>
  <line start="3628" end="3667" speaker="strongbad">is the kind of Decemberween tradition I can get behind.</line>
  <line start="3668" end="3720" speaker="strongbad">Now work me over with this two-by-four before we have to go to Great Gamaw's again.</line>
  <line start="3728" end="3742" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
  <line start="3743" end="3769" speaker="sfx">harp strum</line>
  <line start="3770" end="3778"><sfx>whack</sfx><strongbad>OW!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="3779" end="3800" speaker="sfx">canned laughter</line>
  <line start="3808" end="3826" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">fake laughter</line>
  <line start="3827" end="3870" speaker="homestar">Brown sweater. It's like you read my mind.</line>
  <line start="3871" end="3899" speaker="homestar">And my compliments to the Seth.</line>
  <line start="3900" end="3931" speaker="homestar">The food was atrocious.</line>
</transcript>
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