Editing Peasant's Quest Responses
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*'''Ask about _____:''' | *'''Ask about _____:''' | ||
**'''Baby:''' | **'''Baby:''' | ||
- | ***(to Baby Lady) | + | ***(to Baby Lady) — "This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka." |
**'''Fire:''' | **'''Fire:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn." |
- | ***(to baby lady) | + | ***(to baby lady) — "You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something." / "So should I ask that signal lantern?" you ask. / "I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?" |
- | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) | + | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) — "Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him," says Mendelev. / "Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and..." / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / "Oh. Nevermind," says Dongolev. "Um, yeah. What's a fire?" adds Mendelwhatever. |
- | ***(to Jhonka) | + | ***(to Jhonka) — "Burninator make fire! Barbecue all peasants!" |
- | ***(to innkeeper) | + | ***(to innkeeper) — "I've always preferred being on fire at night. Looks prettier and keeps the butterflies away." |
**'''Jhonka:''' | **'''Jhonka:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "Since the Kerrek showed up, we don't see the Jhonka so much anymore. He lives in that little cave over in west Peasantry." |
- | ***(to Baby Lady) | + | ***(to Baby Lady) — "That nasty thing killed my husband and took my riches!!" / "I thought Trogdor killed your husband," you interject. / "Oh right. Yeah. That's what I said. Trogband killed my husbdor." |
- | ***(to Jhonka) | + | ***(to Jhonka) — "The Kerrek is dead!" he cries and hops around some more. You wonder how someone this primitive could have made that much dough. |
**'''Kerrek:''' | **'''Kerrek:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "I call him Big Stinky. He's slow and stupid, but he'll pound you into milks meat without a second thought." |
**'''Naked Ned:''' | **'''Naked Ned:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "That weirdo used to live over in west Peasantry but now I guess he just prances around the forest in his birthday suit." |
- | ***(to baby lady) | + | ***(to baby lady) — "Don't talk about that pervert in front of the baby here." |
- | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) | + | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) — "That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him." |
- | ***(to Jhonka) | + | ***(to Jhonka) — "Filthy naked peasant! Stay away from my cave-hole!" Who's he calling naked? HE'S the one wearing the string bikini. |
- | ***(to innkeeper) | + | ***(to innkeeper) — "He used to be such a nice, clothed young man. Wonder what he's done with all his old clothes?" |
**'''robe:''' | **'''robe:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "Peasants wear those brown robes. You know, with the rope around the waist. Get yourself one of those." |
- | ***(to baby lady) | + | ***(to baby lady) — "You can't have mine, pervert! I'm not a nudist peasant like that weirdo over in west Peasantry!" |
- | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) | + | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) — "We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?" |
- | ***(to Jhonka) | + | ***(to Jhonka) — ''see Naked Ned'' |
- | ***(to innkeeper) | + | ***(to innkeeper) — "I wear my robe hood-down so it's easier to trim my ear-hairs. If you need a robe, maybe try someone that's not using theirs." |
**'''smell:''' | **'''smell:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "I never met a peasant that didn't stink. If you wanna smell bad, get the Kerrek involved. That thing reeks!" |
- | ***(to baby lady) | + | ***(to baby lady) — "What smells is junior here's drawers! I gotta quit feeding him so much horse!" / "And don't start asking me for his diapers, sicko!" |
- | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) | + | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) — "That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him." |
- | ***(to Jhonka) | + | ***(to Jhonka) — "Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!" screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions. |
- | ***(to innkeeper) | + | ***(to innkeeper) — "Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat." |
**'''trogdor:''' | **'''trogdor:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka." |
- | ***(to baby lady) | + | ***(to baby lady) — "I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did." |
- | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) | + | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) — "Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!" says Dongolev. / "Hey, shut up! That was me!" interrupts Mendelev, "YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!" says Dongolev.<!--sic--> / "Did not!" / "Did so!" / "Did not!" / (You see where this is going.) |
- | ***(to Jhonka) | + | ***(to Jhonka) — "All hail Burninator! Trogdor Number One! Beat Peasant Tech!" says the grimy Jhonka. |
- | ***(to innkeeper) | + | ***(to innkeeper) — "Are you talking about that young green boy that lives up the street? He's always tearing my roof off and eating my customers." |
**'''anything else:''' | **'''anything else:''' | ||
- | ***(to knight) | + | ***(to knight) — "I don't know anything about that, short pants." |
- | ***(to baby lady) | + | ***(to baby lady) — "I dunno what you're talking about." |
- | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) | + | ***(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) — "Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring." |
- | ***(to Jhonka) | + | ***(to Jhonka) — "Jhonka don't know nothing bout that!" |
- | ***(to innkeeper) | + | ***(to innkeeper) — "I don't know nothing about no whatever you just said." |
- | ***(anywhere else) | + | ***(anywhere else) — "Ask about what?" |
- | : <small>* | + | : <small>* — You can only ask Mendelev and Dongolev when they're together.</small> |
*'''attack _____:''' | *'''attack _____:''' | ||
- | **'''sign''' (at the Mountain Pass) | + | **'''sign''' (at the Mountain Pass) — I was being facetious, Mr. Smarty-short-pants. No sign attacking for you. |
- | **'''trogdor''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) | + | **'''trogdor''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) — Like how? |
===B=== | ===B=== | ||
- | *'''boo''' (anywhere) | + | *'''boo''' (anywhere) — Scared me. |
- | *'''break/kick/punch door''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) | + | *'''break/kick/punch door''' (at Outside mysterious cottage) — Violence is not the answer. |
- | *'''break sign''' (at Mountain Pass) | + | *'''break sign''' (at Mountain Pass) — ''See attack sign'' |
- | *'''break stump''' (at Poor Gary's glen) | + | *'''break stump''' (at Poor Gary's glen) — Are you THAT bored? Do some questing already! |
- | *'''buy kerrek a cold one''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) | + | *'''buy kerrek a cold one''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) — The kerrek<!--sic--> is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now. ''('''Warning:''' This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email [[for kids]].)'' |
===C=== | ===C=== | ||
- | *'''[[The Cheat|cheat]]''' (or any phrase involving cheat; anywhere) | + | *'''[[The Cheat|cheat]]''' (or any phrase involving cheat; anywhere) — Meh. |
*'''climb _____''' | *'''climb _____''' | ||
**'''cliff''' | **'''cliff''' | ||
- | ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) | + | ***(anywhere near the bottom of the cliff) — There aren't enough footholds and you don't have any carabeaners on you. |
- | ***(at the top of the cliff) | + | ***(at the top of the cliff) — They don't show how the sports-drink people get down from the cliff. You've no idea how to start. |
- | ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) | + | ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) — Nope. It's too sheer. |
**'''fence/jump fence''' | **'''fence/jump fence''' | ||
- | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — No, you have business to attend to here in Peasantry. |
- | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) | + | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) — More like you should walk through that gaping hole in it. Just an idea. |
- | ***(at the hidden glen) | + | ***(at the hidden glen) — Not going to dignify that with a response. |
- | **'''in bucket''' (at the well) | + | **'''in bucket''' (at the well) — Your butt is too big. |
- | **'''in well''' (at the well) | + | **'''in well''' (at the well) — No go. Your insurance doesn't cover that. |
**'''tree''' | **'''tree''' | ||
- | ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) | + | ***(anywhere but at the wavy tree or hidden glen) — But then your hands would get all sappy. |
- | ***(at the hidden glen) | + | ***(at the hidden glen) — Naw, you'd probably figure out some way to kill yourself doing that. |
- | ***(at the wavy tree) | + | ***(at the wavy tree) — You don't climb wavy trees. |
- | ***(after getting a room in the inn) | + | ***(after getting a room in the inn) — Naw. That's dumb. Do better. |
*'''close _____''' | *'''close _____''' | ||
**'''door''' | **'''door''' | ||
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) — Already done. That was easy! |
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) — You can't. That baby really wrenched it open good. |
**'''drawer''' | **'''drawer''' | ||
- | ***(without stealing the robe) | + | ***(without stealing the robe) — Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them. |
- | ***(when it's closed) | + | ***(when it's closed) — A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer) |
- | *'''cut off arms, legs, and head''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | *'''cut off arms, legs, and head''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) — Very funny. You have trouble cutting out coupons in the weekly 'Peasant Penny-Pincher' circular. I'd like to see you try. |
===D=== | ===D=== | ||
*'''[[dan]]''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future. | *'''[[dan]]''' (or any phrase involving Dan; anywhere): Dan's still okay. Got a place on Dekalb with Rick and his wife. Slimmed up a bit and looking towards the future. | ||
- | *'''dance''' (anywhere) | + | *'''dance''' (anywhere) — You'd rather just stand here and soak up the scene. |
*'''deploy/drop/use baby''' | *'''deploy/drop/use baby''' | ||
- | **(once you have baby) | + | **(once you have baby) — Quit tryin to ditch the baby! |
- | **(before you have baby, or after the baby has left) | + | **(before you have baby, or after the baby has left) — You don't even have two babies to rub together. |
- | **(at the well) | + | **(at the well) — Like where? |
- | **(at Naked Ned's cottage, before getting the baby) | + | **(at Naked Ned's cottage, before getting the baby) — Swell idea, but is you ain't my baby? I.e. you ain't got one? |
- | **(at Naked Ned's cottage, before moving the stone) | + | **(at Naked Ned's cottage, before moving the stone) — Use the baby where? You haven't anywhere inconsiderate to stuff 'm. |
- | **(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby has left) | + | **(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby has left) — Li'l P.B. has moved on, and the door seems to be open... I can't see why we'd go through this all over again. |
- | *'''die''' (anywhere) | + | *'''die''' (anywhere) — That wasn't very smart. You dead. ''('''Warning:''' This kills you.)'' |
- | *'''drink''' (or any object after drink; anywhere) | + | *'''drink''' (or any object after drink; anywhere) — For simplicity's sake you are immune to hunger and thirst in this game. So you got that going for you./Which is nice. |
===E=== | ===E=== | ||
*'''enter hay''' | *'''enter hay''' | ||
- | **(by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) | + | **(by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) — Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago. |
- | **(near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) | + | **(near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) — Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer. |
===F=== | ===F=== | ||
- | *'''feed horse''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) | + | *'''feed horse''' (at Poor Gary's glen before scaring him) — There's a good chance that horse has NEVER eaten. I doubt he'll start now. |
===G=== | ===G=== | ||
- | *'''get a room''' (when on fire) | + | *'''get a room''' (when on fire) — "\oard<!--sic; yes, it's really a backslash, not a B--> of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway." |
*'''get/take/steal _____''' | *'''get/take/steal _____''' | ||
- | **'''(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)''' | + | **'''(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)''' — You probably WISH you could get that. |
**'''arrow''' | **'''arrow''' | ||
- | ***(at the archery range) | + | ***(at the archery range) — They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye. |
- | ***(at the hidden glen while Dongolev is there) | + | ***(at the hidden glen while Dongolev is there) — Something tells me now's not a good time. ''{you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you}'' It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die. ''('''Warning:''' As you can see, this kills you.)'' |
- | ***(at the hidden glen after getting the first arrow OR at the hidden glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) | + | ***(at the hidden glen after getting the first arrow OR at the hidden glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) — You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though. |
- | ***(at the hidden glen after killing the Kerrek) | + | ***(at the hidden glen after killing the Kerrek) — You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points. |
- | ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) | + | ***(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) — Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now. |
- | **'''baby''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) | + | **'''baby''' (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) — 'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks. |
- | **'''bell''' (in the inn, after getting a room) | + | **'''bell''' (in the inn, after getting a room) — You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded<!--sic--> to the desk. |
- | **'''belt''' (after getting it) | + | **'''belt''' (after getting it) — You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow. |
**'''berries''' | **'''berries''' | ||
- | ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) — You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b. |
- | ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) — You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser |
- | ***(at the west side of the lake) | + | ***(at the west side of the lake) — NO MAN! JEEZ! |
- | **'''bone/skull''' (at the top of the cliff) | + | **'''bone/skull''' (at the top of the cliff) — Eww. No. Grody. You're grody. No. Eww. |
- | **'''broom''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) | + | **'''broom''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) — No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you? |
- | **'''bucket''' (at the well) | + | **'''bucket''' (at the well) — You can't, it's tied to a rope and you're terrible with knots. |
- | **'''candle''' (at night, in the inn) | + | **'''candle''' (at night, in the inn) — It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice. |
**'''chair''' | **'''chair''' | ||
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is there) — No. There's a big bag of something in it. Oh, that's the baby lady. |
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she is gone) — No. Too big for pants. |
- | **'''club''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) | + | **'''club''' (outside the Jhonka's cottage when he's out) — Now there's a surefire way to get yourself killed. |
- | **'''drawer''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) | + | **'''drawer''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) — You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again. |
- | **'''feed''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) | + | **'''feed''' (inside the woman's cottage after stealing feed) — You don't need anymore. It might give rise to old temptations. |
**'''fire''' | **'''fire''' | ||
- | ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) | + | ***(at the burninated tree at night, before getting the horse grease) — You're just not flammable enough. |
- | ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) | + | ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting the horse grease) — You don't need to get IT. Just let IT get YOU. |
- | ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) | + | ***(at the burninated tree at night, after getting on fire) — You're already on fire! What? You want to be MORE on fire? |
- | **'''flies''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | **'''flies''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — You nasty. Besides, they wouldn't survive a minute away from that horse's butt. |
- | **'''gold/money''' (inside the woman's cottage) | + | **'''gold/money''' (inside the woman's cottage) — Um, that's chicken feed. |
- | **'''grease''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) | + | **'''grease''' (inside the inn, at night, when you already got the grease) — You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood. |
**'''hay''' | **'''hay''' | ||
- | ***(at the hay bale) | + | ***(at the hay bale) — Who do you think you are? Some kind of Thy Dungeonman? You don't need any hay. |
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage) — There's a huge bale a couple of screens over from here. Why bother stealing? |
- | **'''kerrek''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) | + | **'''kerrek''' (in the Kerrek's domain whether or not he's still alive) — Well, he does smell real bad. But he's a bit too big to fit in your pocket. |
- | **'''lantern''' (at the signal lantern) | + | **'''lantern''' (at the signal lantern) — Better not. There's an engraved plaque on it that says, "Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of 'You Die'". |
- | **'''mask''' (while the bucket is in the well) | + | **'''mask''' (while the bucket is in the well) — You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse! ''('''Warning:''' This gains two points, but you don't actually collect the mask, and this makes it impossible to obtain the mask, thus rendering it impossible to progress in the game.)'' |
**'''mud''' | **'''mud''' | ||
- | ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) | + | ***(when it's wet, before you fall in) — You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you. |
- | ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) | + | ***(when it's wet, after you fall in) — You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self. |
- | **'''map''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) | + | **'''map''' (at your cottage, after you've gotten it) — Yeah but like you already map the took, guy! |
**'''note''' | **'''note''' | ||
- | ***(at Jhonka's cave) | + | ***(at Jhonka's cave) — It's been magically sealed to the door with a wondrously whimsical spell. |
- | ***(outside the inn) | + | ***(outside the inn) — What is it with you and notes?! No!! |
- | **'''old man rub''' (in the inn) | + | **'''old man rub''' (in the inn) — You disgust me. |
- | **'''paper''' (in the inn) | + | **'''paper''' (in the inn) — Naw, it might be important to that wrinkly old loon. |
- | **'''painting''' (in the inn) | + | **'''painting''' (in the inn) — Weird. It's actually painted right into the wall. Like, the frame and everything. |
**'''pebbles/rocks''' | **'''pebbles/rocks''' | ||
- | ***(after you've gotten them) | + | ***(after you've gotten them) — Come now. We've been through this jaunty little bit before. You took them from the half lake screen with the cattail and stuff. |
***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach from here. | ***(from the opposite side of where you get the pebbles) You do your best Mr. Fantastic impression, but you can't reach from here. | ||
- | **'''plague''' (at the signal lantern) | + | **'''plague''' (at the signal lantern) — Wrong game, Mispeller Jones. Try the little button to the left of the 'W'. |
- | **'''plaque''' (at the signal lantern) | + | **'''plaque''' (at the signal lantern) — You have enough of that on your browning, rotten peasant teeth already. |
**'''pillow''' | **'''pillow''' | ||
- | ***(in the inn) | + | ***(in the inn) — Not a chance. There's even more questionable stains on that pillow than there are on that rug. |
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage) — You don't have anywhere to use it and it is rather bulky, so you leave it. |
- | **'''pot''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) | + | **'''pot''' (in the inn, after you already have horse grease) — You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood. |
**'''robe''' | **'''robe''' | ||
- | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) | + | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, after you've gotten it) — You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes? |
- | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) | + | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage, when the drawer is closed) — You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness. |
**'''rock''' | **'''rock''' | ||
- | ***(by the stream) | + | ***(by the stream) — For what? Now you're just making up puzzles to solve. |
- | ***(at the mud puddle) | + | ***(at the mud puddle) — That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me. |
- | ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) | + | ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage, after moving it) — You've already moved the stone out of the way to reveal a less-than peasant-sized hole. |
- | **'''rug''' (in the inn) | + | **'''rug''' (in the inn) — You're not touching that thing. Too many questionable stains on it. |
- | **'''stuff/food''' (inside the woman's cottage) | + | **'''stuff/food''' (inside the woman's cottage) — Which foodstuffs? |
- | **'''target''' (at the archery range) | + | **'''target''' (at the archery range) — No. Those will fall on you and more than likely kill you. |
*'''give _____''' | *'''give _____''' | ||
**'''(anything not listed)''' | **'''(anything not listed)''' | ||
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage) — We don't need that mess. |
- | ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) | + | ***(anywhere except for the woman's cottage) — You don't need to give that now. |
**'''baby''' | **'''baby''' | ||
- | ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) | + | ***(in the inn, before you get the baby) — You have no baby nor any immediate prospects. |
- | ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) | + | ***(in the inn, when you already have the pills) — You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth. |
**'''chicken feed''' | **'''chicken feed''' | ||
- | ***(at the east side of the lake, while the old man is there) | + | ***(at the east side of the lake, while the old man is there) — "Well, heck. That might work. Throw it on in and see what happens." |
**'''riches''' | **'''riches''' | ||
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage, before getting the riches) — 'That's right,' she whines. 'Find my riches, and give here.' |
- | ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) | + | ***(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) — The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible. |
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) — We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating. |
**'''trinket''' | **'''trinket''' | ||
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage) — 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' |
- | ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) | + | ***(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) — 'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize. |
- | *'''go _____''' (anything or letter can be put in here) | + | *'''go _____''' (anything or letter can be put in here) — Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job. |
===H=== | ===H=== | ||
*'''haldo''' | *'''haldo''' | ||
- | **(anywhere but at the hidden glen, before or after talking to Mendelev) | + | **(anywhere but at the hidden glen, before or after talking to Mendelev) — That's totally not Dongolev. |
- | **(at the hidden glen before talking to Mendelev) | + | **(at the hidden glen before talking to Mendelev) — What'd you read that in PQ Stragedy<!--sic--> Guide? Go talk to my brother first. |
- | **(at the hidden glen after Dongolev leaves) | + | **(at the hidden glen after Dongolev leaves) — "Haldo?". you call out... "Hadloooooo"<!--sic--> |
- | **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) | + | **(at the archery Range after Dongolev has returned) — "HALDO!!" |
- | *'''hide in hay''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) | + | *'''hide in hay''' (at the hay bale, before getting in) — Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago. |
- | *'''hug tree''' (at the hay bale) | + | *'''hug tree''' (at the hay bale) — To every thing, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn. |
===I=== | ===I=== | ||
Line 570: | Line 570: | ||
===J=== | ===J=== | ||
*'''jump in hay''' | *'''jump in hay''' | ||
- | **(by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) | + | **(by the hay bale, when you're not muddy) — Not right now, man. You're feeling fairly clean given you just bathed 3 fortnights ago. |
- | **(near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) | + | **(near the hay bale, when you're muddy but not right next to it) — Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer. |
===K=== | ===K=== | ||
*'''kick/kill/punch poor gary''' | *'''kick/kill/punch poor gary''' | ||
- | **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | **(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. ''{Poor Gary kicks you}'' WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing. ''('''Warning:''' Needless to say, this kills you.)'' |
- | **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) | + | **(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) — Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go./Let go! |
*'''kill _____''' | *'''kill _____''' | ||
- | **'''flies''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | **'''flies''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — Those flies and that horse's butt have a symbiotic relationship. You have no right to disrupt that. |
- | **'''jhonka''' (after he's outside) | + | **'''jhonka''' (after he's outside) — No way! Jhonka's are born scrappers. He may be little, but he'll crawl ya. |
**'''kerrek''' | **'''kerrek''' | ||
- | ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) | + | ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is present and you do not have the bow and arrow) — With what?! You got no weapons except your butter-knife wit. |
- | ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) | + | ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the arrow, but not the bow) — With what?! You gonna throw that arrow at him? |
- | ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) | + | ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is present and you have the bow, but not the arrow) — With what?! You got no arrow, fool! |
- | ***(after the Kerrek is dead) | + | ***(after the Kerrek is dead) — Yeah. You smote the Kerrek. You deserve a trophy full of Mutton-ums. |
- | ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) | + | ***(in the Kerrek's domain when he is not there) — Good idea. But you kinda need the actual Kerrek to be here for that to work. |
- | **'''trogdor''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) | + | **'''trogdor''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) — Like how? |
*'''knock''' | *'''knock''' | ||
- | **(at the woman's cottage) | + | **(at the woman's cottage) — 'It's open,' says a female voice from inside. Um, it's NOT open, but you get her drift. |
- | **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) | + | **(at the woman's cottage, after she leaves) — No one answers. That crazy lady took off. How ever will you get past this closed door now? |
- | **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) | + | **(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) — A gravelly voice inside yells, 'JUST US CHICKENS' '''or:''' 'NO FOR RENT' '''or:''' 'I GIVE LAST YEAR!' '''or:''' 'GAVE AT OFFICE' '''or:''' 'GO WAY!' |
- | **(at the inn, while it's closed) | + | **(at the inn, while it's closed) — No answer. |
- | **(at the inn, after it's been opened) | + | **(at the inn, after it's been opened) — Just open it, man! |
- | **(at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | **(at Naked Ned's cottage) — You could knock until your knuckles bleed. Nobody's home. |
*'''Knock until knuckles bleed''' | *'''Knock until knuckles bleed''' | ||
- | **(at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | **(at Naked Ned's cottage) — You knock for about 4 hours until your knuckles are raw and bloody. That was fun! |
- | **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | **(type it again at Naked Ned's cottage) — You done that already. A great time was had by all. |
===L=== | ===L=== | ||
*'''light''' | *'''light''' | ||
- | **'''candle''' (inside the inn, at night) | + | **'''candle''' (inside the inn, at night) — It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice. |
**'''lantern''' | **'''lantern''' | ||
- | ***(at the burninated trees before it is lit) | + | ***(at the burninated trees before it is lit) — With what? Your red-hot intellect? |
- | ***(at the burninated trees after it is lit) | + | ***(at the burninated trees after it is lit) — Already lit, moron. |
- | *'''load''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) | + | *'''load''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) — You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you. |
*'''look _____''' | *'''look _____''' | ||
- | **'''(at anything irrelevant)''' | + | **'''(at anything irrelevant)''' — You don't need to look at that. |
- | **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' | + | **'''(at anything, while hiding inside the bale of hay)''' — Right now, you see a bunch of hay. |
- | **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' | + | **'''(at something previously in your inventory but now gone)''' — You used to have one, before the great item blight of 402. Check your INVENTORY to read about it. |
- | **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' | + | **'''(at something currently in your inventory)''' — You've totally got one of those! Check your INVENTORY to give'r a serious looksee. |
**'''archer''' | **'''archer''' | ||
- | ***(at the archery range, before speaking to Mendelev) | + | ***(at the archery range, before speaking to Mendelev) — He looks depressed. He keeps sighing all obviously like he wants you to ask about it. |
- | ***(at the archery range, before saying haldo to Dongolev) | + | ***(at the archery range, before saying haldo to Dongolev) — He looks depressed. Jeez, who invited the fun sponge? |
- | ***(at the hidden glen) | + | ***(at the hidden glen) — He sure looks miffed at that tree. He's emptied 5 good quivers' worth into that poor thing. |
- | **'''archer(s)/(anything not covered elsewhere)''' (at the archery range, after saying haldo to Dongolev) | + | **'''archer(s)/(anything not covered elsewhere)''' (at the archery range, after saying haldo to Dongolev) — You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. A pair of twin brothers seem to be running the place. |
- | **'''arrow''' (at the hidden glen) | + | **'''arrow''' (at the hidden glen) — Somebody call a tree doctor. Them puppies are stuck in there like a, um, er ... stuck pig. |
- | **'''baby''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) | + | **'''baby''' (inside the woman's cottage while she has the baby) — Peasant babies are pretty freaking adorable. This little guy's no exception. |
- | **'''bed''' (in the inn) | + | **'''bed''' (in the inn) — Is that just a fitted sheet over a slab of concrete? |
- | **'''bell''' (in the inn) | + | **'''bell''' (in the inn) — Tis broked. |
- | **'''belt''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) | + | **'''belt''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) — Yecch. I wouldn't touch that unless it was, like, an important quest item or something. |
**'''berries''' | **'''berries''' | ||
***(at the west side of the lake) Shut up. | ***(at the west side of the lake) Shut up. | ||
- | ***(outside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(outside the woman's cottage) — Crunch berries maybe. |
**'''boat/dinghy''' | **'''boat/dinghy''' | ||
- | ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) | + | ***(at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) — Keep your eyes off my dinghy! |
- | ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) | + | ***(at the fisherman's lake after he is gone) — It was loaned out to the [[Fishing Challenge '91|Fishing Challenge videogame]]. |
- | **'''bone/skeleton/skull''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) | + | **'''bone/skeleton/skull''' (at the top of the cliff for the bone and skull and in Trogdor's outer sanctum for the skeleton) — You can't be sure but you think those are dead person bones. |
- | **'''broom''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) | + | **'''broom''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) — The broom is all black and artistic, implying perhaps that it is closer to the viewer's eye but unlit to avoid emphasis. |
**'''bucket''' | **'''bucket''' | ||
- | ***(at the well) | + | ***(at the well) — An empty wooden bucket hangs on a rope in the well. |
- | ***(at the well, if the bucket is in the well, even if the baby is in the bucket) | + | ***(at the well, if the bucket is in the well, even if the baby is in the bucket) — An empty wooden bucket hangs on a rope in the well.<!--sic-->The bucket is currently down. |
- | ***(at the well, if the bucket is in the well, and the mask is in the bucket) | + | ***(at the well, if the bucket is in the well, and the mask is in the bucket) — There's a monster maskus in there!<!--sic-->The bucket is currently down. |
- | **'''bush''' (at the west side of the lake) | + | **'''bush''' (at the west side of the lake) — Don't worry about that bush. Yeah, there's red berries on it but never you mind. |
**'''bushes''' | **'''bushes''' | ||
- | ***(outside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(outside the woman's cottage) — You suspect they might be crunch berry bushes. |
- | ***(at the hidden glen) | + | ***(at the hidden glen) — There's some thick 'ol bushes up in this hidden glen. |
- | **'''candle''' (in the inn after getting a room) | + | **'''candle''' (in the inn after getting a room) — That candle's not at all on fire. |
**'''cave''' | **'''cave''' | ||
- | ***(at the Jhonka's cave) | + | ***(at the Jhonka's cave) — Just a little cave. Calm down. |
- | ***(at the top of the cliff) | + | ***(at the top of the cliff) — The cave entrance beckons to you like a hot mutton sandwich might. |
- | **'''chair''' (inside the woman's cottage) | + | **'''chair''' (inside the woman's cottage) — One of those self-rocking kind. Not bad for a brown-collar peasant-type. Must be trickle-down in action. |
- | **'''club/turkey leg''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) | + | **'''club/turkey leg''' (at the Jhonka's cave when he's outside) — Turkey leg or no, it looks like the Jhonka's been gnawing on it. |
**'''cottage''' | **'''cottage''' | ||
- | ***(at the yellow tree) | + | ***(at the yellow tree) — You see a cottage in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it. |
- | ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) | + | ***(outside Naked Ned's cottage) — A run-of-the-mill, non-burninated thatched-roof cottage here. Its stonework looks a little shoddy. |
- | ***(outside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(outside the woman's cottage) — You had a cottage once. A lot like this one. *sniff* Trogdor will pay! |
- | ***(at your burninated cottage) | + | ***(at your burninated cottage) — All your baubles and trinkets, your flasks and scrolls, your goblets and staffs! BURNINATED!! ''(And then, if you haven't taken the map yet:)'' Looks like there's a piece of unburninated paper on the ground. |
**'''crank''' | **'''crank''' | ||
- | ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) | + | ***(at the well before putting pebbles in the bucket) — It looks rusted in place. |
- | ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) | + | ***(at the well after putting pebbles in the bucket) — That is a bonafide crank. It seems to work now. |
- | **'''curtain/beads''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) | + | **'''curtain/beads''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) — That thing's awesome. You always wanted one for your dorm room but your roommate was a total drag and said no. |
**'''desk''' | **'''desk''' | ||
- | ***(at the archery range) | + | ***(at the archery range) — It says 'archery' on it. My wife's drunk. |
- | ***(inside the inn) | + | ***(inside the inn) — There's a broken bell and a piece of parchment on there. |
**'''door''' | **'''door''' | ||
- | ***(outside the inn) | + | ***(outside the inn) — Just a door. A door with a note on it. |
- | ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) | + | ***(in Trogdor's outer sanctum) — A wicked beaded curtain hangs in the doorway. |
- | ***(outside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(outside the woman's cottage) — Listen to you, "look door" What kinda gaming is that? It's a door and it's closed. ''(This response repeats whatever your command was back at you. When typing commands, you can put anything you want between the command and the object and it will still work, so here, if you type "look at door" or "look at the ugly brown door" or "lookasdfasdfdoor", it will put that in between the quotes.)'' |
**'''drawer/dresser''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) | **'''drawer/dresser''' (inside Naked Ned's cottage) | ||
- | ***(while the drawer is closed) | + | ***(while the drawer is closed) — This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray. There is an especially enticing top drawer that is currently closed. |
- | ***(after opening the drawer) | + | ***(after opening the drawer) — This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray. There is a drawer open<!--sic-->and there are some brown lumpy clothes in it. |
- | ***(after taking the robe) | + | ***(after taking the robe) — This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray. There is a drawer open, but it's empty. |
- | **'''feed''' (inside the woman's cottage) | + | **'''feed''' (inside the woman's cottage) — Cool Ranch. Your old favorite. |
**'''fence''' | **'''fence''' | ||
- | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — A particularly rickety peasant-issue fence. Trogdor uses bits of these as toothpicks. |
- | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) | + | ***(at Poor Gary's glen, after scaring him) — It's got a big ol' hole in it. For walking through. |
- | ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) | + | ***(by haystack/Jhonka's cottage/Naked Ned's cottage) — A standard peasant fence. Trogdor makes milk's meat outta these things. |
- | ***(at the hidden glen) | + | ***(at the hidden glen) — Wow! There's a hole in it on THIS side too! |
- | **'''flies''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | **'''flies''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — A cloud of buttflies fly around the horse's butt. |
**'''footprints/tracks''' | **'''footprints/tracks''' | ||
- | ***(when the Kerrek is present) | + | ***(when the Kerrek is present) — It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here! |
- | ***(when the Kerrek is not present) | + | ***(when the Kerrek is not present) — If you weren't a simpleton you might think these were Kerrek prints. But since you are a simpleton, you just go, 'Yay! Piggies!' |
**'''ground''' | **'''ground''' | ||
- | ***(at your burninated cottage) | + | ***(at your burninated cottage) — Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry. |
**'''hay''' | **'''hay''' | ||
- | ***(at the hay bale) | + | ***(at the hay bale) — It reminds you of a warm, safe place where as a child you'd hide. |
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage) — Hay is for horses! |
**'''hole''' | **'''hole''' | ||
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, before deploying baby) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, before deploying baby) — You peer into the tiny opening. The cottage appears to be empty. |
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after deploying baby) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after deploying baby) — There is no baby here, but there's an open door on the other side of the room. If you could only get to it somehow! |
- | **'''horse''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | **'''horse''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — This bag o' bones looks like he's headed for the glue factory. He's got the name 'Poor Gary' branded onto his hide. |
- | **'''in hay''' (at the hay bale) | + | **'''in hay''' (at the hay bale) — You search and search through the haystack. Nope. No needles. |
- | **'''in well''' (at the well) | + | **'''in well''' (at the well) — It's dark and welly in there. Smell like stank too. |
- | **'''inn''' (outside the inn) | + | **'''inn''' (outside the inn) — Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet? |
- | **'''jhonka''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) | + | **'''jhonka''' (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) — The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest. |
**'''kerrek''' | **'''kerrek''' | ||
- | ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) | + | ***(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) — It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here! |
- | ***(immediately after killing him) | + | ***(immediately after killing him) — He dead. And the only thing of value on him is his stinky belt buckle. |
- | ***(immediately after taking the belt) | + | ***(immediately after taking the belt) — He dead. |
- | ***(while he's decomposing) | + | ***(while he's decomposing) — He dead. You didn't think he could have smelled any worse? Well, guess what: He smells worse. |
- | ***(when he's all bones) | + | ***(when he's all bones) — He dead. He wasn't fat, he was just big boned! Poor pig-man. |
- | **'''knight/man/dude/guy''' (at the mountain pass) | + | **'''knight/man/dude/guy''' (at the mountain pass) — He looks way cooler than you. |
**'''lady/woman''' | **'''lady/woman''' | ||
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage, while she's still there) — Typical pasty peasant woman, overbearing and judgemental<!--sic-->. Obsessed with goods and land. |
- | ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) | + | ***(inside the woman's cottage, after she's gone) — I can't believe you thought you had a chance with her!/Dork! |
- | **'''lake''' (at the fisherman's lake) | + | **'''lake''' (at the fisherman's lake) — Why it's half a lake. |
- | **'''lake/water''' (at the lake with pebbles) | + | **'''lake/water''' (at the lake with pebbles) — It extends onto the next screen and has a sandy shore. |
**'''lantern''' | **'''lantern''' | ||
- | ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) | + | ***(while unlit; at the burninated trees) — It's unlit at the moment. That fancy pants royal knight probably lights it on nights when Troggie's on the prowl. |
- | ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) | + | ***(while lit; at the burninated trees) — It's lit! Musta been a Trogdor sighting tonight. |
- | **'''lightning''' (at the top of the cliff) | + | **'''lightning''' (at the top of the cliff) — Scary. Like Auntie Gerelda's crow's feet. |
- | **'''man''' (in the inn) | + | **'''man''' (in the inn) — He's an older peasant with big cotton swabs stuffed up his nose. Oh wait. Those are nose hairs. Grody. |
- | **'''man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) | + | **'''man/guy/peasant/old guy/old man''' (at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) — An older peasant sits silently in a boat with his line in the water. |
- | **'''ned''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) | + | **'''ned''' (at the wavy tree, when Naked Ned is peeking out) — A fairly naked man is peering out from behind that tree. |
- | **'''openings''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) | + | **'''openings''' (in Trogdor's outer sanctum) — They're mysterious and out of reach. Like girls were to you in high school. |
- | **'''painting''' (in the inn) | + | **'''painting''' (in the inn) — It's a painting of dogs playing 'Magic: The Nerdening.' |
**'''paper''' | **'''paper''' | ||
- | ***(in the inn) | + | ***(in the inn) — It says, 'Note to self: Wave arms wildly!' |
- | ***(at your burninated cottage) | + | ***(at your burninated cottage) — Hey, it's your old fireproof map to Peasantry. |
**'''pillow''' | **'''pillow''' | ||
- | ***(in the inn) | + | ***(in the inn) — If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow. |
- | ***(in the woman's cottage) | + | ***(in the woman's cottage) — Swedish foam. Your favorite. |
- | **'''pot''' (in the inn after getting a room) | + | **'''pot''' (in the inn after getting a room) — It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful. |
**'''rock''' | **'''rock''' | ||
- | ***(by the stream) | + | ***(by the stream) — The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin. |
- | ***(at the mud patch) | + | ***(at the mud patch) — That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me. |
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) — There appears to be a loose stone towards the back of the cottage. |
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) — Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage. |
- | **'''rug''' (in the inn) | + | **'''rug''' (in the inn) — Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now. |
**'''sand''' | **'''sand''' | ||
- | ***(at the fisherman's lake) | + | ***(at the fisherman's lake) — One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again. |
- | ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) | + | ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) — Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times. |
- | **'''shelf''' (inside the woman's cottage) | + | **'''shelf''' (inside the woman's cottage) — Nothing but a bag of chicken feed. |
**'''sign''' | **'''sign''' | ||
- | ***(at the mountain pass) | + | ***(at the mountain pass) — What that sign there? That sign says 'Trogdor.' |
- | ***(outside the inn) | + | ***(outside the inn) — If you can't read that sign, you need to quit playing this game. |
**'''stump''' | **'''stump''' | ||
- | ***(at the burninated trees) | + | ***(at the burninated trees) — NOT a good place to sit. |
- | ***(at Poor Gary's glen) | + | ***(at Poor Gary's glen) — You run out of ideas as to what to do next, and stare at the stump. |
- | **'''target''' (at the archery range) | + | **'''target''' (at the archery range) — Hey, they had those same targets at Peasant Scout Camp! |
**'''tree''' | **'''tree''' | ||
- | ***(at the burninated trees) | + | ***(at the burninated trees) — Severely burninated. They could probably use some salve. |
- | ***(at the hay bale) | + | ***(at the hay bale) — It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown! |
- | ***(at the hidden glen) | + | ***(at the hidden glen) — Dude, and then the elf, like, totally climbed up it. It was awesome! |
- | ***(at the waterfall) | + | ***(at the waterfall) — You see some trees in the distance. You hold your fingers up to one eye and pretend to squash it<!--sic-->. |
- | ***(at the wavy tree) | + | ***(at the wavy tree) — It's weird and wavy. |
- | ***(at the well) | + | ***(at the well) — That's one orange tree alright. |
- | ***(at the yellow tree) | + | ***(at the yellow tree) — You're really hurtin' for puzzle solutions, huh? |
- | **'''trees''' (anywhere) | + | **'''trees''' (anywhere) — You are an incredibly boring person. |
**'''trogdor''' | **'''trogdor''' | ||
- | ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) | + | ***(in Trogdor's lair, while he's asleep) — Holy crap! Trogdor's way bigger in person than he looks in most tapestries you've seen. All of the sudden, losing your cottage doesn't seem so bad anymore. |
- | ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) | + | ***(in Trogdor's lair, when he's awake) — Trogdor is looming menacingly over you with a tiny wee sword stuck in his belly. He looks like he's gonna kill you really soon. |
- | ***(at mountain pass) | + | ***(at mountain pass) — I know it's labeled 'Trogdor,' but it's really just a sign, silly. I mean, attack it if you want... |
- | **'''water''' (by the stream) | + | **'''water''' (by the stream) — Got a rock in it. |
- | **'''waterfall''' (at the waterfall) | + | **'''waterfall''' (at the waterfall) — Upon closer inspection, you discover it's not magical. That's just mist, not magic sparkles or anything. |
- | **'''well''' (at the well) | + | **'''well''' (at the well) — Pretty average. You're not a big well person. You're more into bridges. It does have a cute little bucket though. Your dad liked buckets. Oh, and there's a metal crank too. Meemaw loved cranks. |
- | ***(before getting the mask, follows from above) | + | ***(before getting the mask, follows from above) — You can just make out something floating in the water down there. |
**'''window''' | **'''window''' | ||
- | ***(outside the inn) | + | ***(outside the inn) — Check it out! There's an INN in there. |
- | ***(inside the inn) | + | ***(inside the inn) — Check it out! There's a Peasantry out there! |
===M=== | ===M=== | ||
- | *'''make friends with kerrek''' | + | *'''make friends with kerrek''' — Look, it didn't work for Strongbad<!--sic--> and it's not gonna work for you either. ''(As seen in [[for kids]])'' |
- | *'''make wish''' (at the well) | + | *'''make wish''' (at the well) — This isn't that kind of well. This is a plaguewater well. |
- | *'''map''' (before you find the map; anywhere) | + | *'''map''' (before you find the map; anywhere) — We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but irridisregardless, you don't have one. |
===N=== | ===N=== | ||
Line 761: | Line 761: | ||
*'''open _____''' | *'''open _____''' | ||
**'''door''' | **'''door''' | ||
- | ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) | + | ***(at the Jhonka's cave while he's inside) — It's locked. With one o' them SCHLAGE deadbolts, too. Those things are hard core. |
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage) — How? There's no knob. |
- | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) | + | ***(at Naked Ned's cottage, after the baby opens it) — It's already open. Since this is an adventure game we're gonna proffer you adventure yourself on in there. |
- | ***(at the inn, while it's closed) | + | ***(at the inn, while it's closed) — It's locked fast! |
- | ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) | + | ***(inside the inn, before getting a room) — 'That's the pantry,' says the Innkeeper. 'Employees only.' |
**'''drawer''' | **'''drawer''' | ||
- | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) | + | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage when it's open) — Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron. |
- | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) | + | ***(in Naked Ned's cottage after getting the robe and closing the drawer) — You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie. |
===P=== | ===P=== | ||
- | *'''party''' (anywhere) | + | *'''party''' (anywhere) — You are part of the Whig party. They are making gangrene-awareness their number one campaign priority. |
- | *'''pet horse/poor gary''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | *'''pet horse/poor gary''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — Aww, that's sweet. Poor Gary tries in vain to bite your arm off. |
- | *'''play game''' (at the archery range, before saying haldo to Dongolev) | + | *'''play game''' (at the archery range, before saying haldo to Dongolev) — The gallery's not open and you got no bow or arrows, Cupid. |
- | *'''pull/push door''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | *'''pull/push door''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) — It doesn't budge, man. |
*'''put _____''' | *'''put _____''' | ||
- | **'''baby''' (at the well) | + | **'''baby''' (at the well) — Where you wanna toss em? |
- | **'''baby in bucket/well''' (at the well, before getting the baby or after the baby leaves) | + | **'''baby in bucket/well''' (at the well, before getting the baby or after the baby leaves) — Hmmmm... A baby, eh? You check your sundial. Babies-R-Us is probably closed by now. |
**'''baby in bucket''' | **'''baby in bucket''' | ||
- | ***(too far from bucket) | + | ***(too far from bucket) — You're not that keen a shot. Try standing a little closer. |
- | ***(after getting the sub) | + | ***(after getting the sub) — Li'l tyke seems to enjoy the ride, but — thin or not — we've got a plot to advance here. |
- | **'''(anything else) in bucket''' | + | **'''(anything else) in bucket''' — That's not heavy enough to weigh down the bucket. |
**'''baby in well''' | **'''baby in well''' | ||
- | ***(at the well with the baby) | + | ***(at the well with the baby) — Jeez man! At least put the poor little guy in the bucket! Give him a fighting chance! |
- | **'''pebbles''' | + | **'''pebbles''' — Where you wanna toss em? |
**'''pebbles/rocks in bucket''' | **'''pebbles/rocks in bucket''' | ||
- | ***(at the well, when you don't have them) | + | ***(at the well, when you don't have them) — Find some pebbles first and you might have the makings of a good idea. About time. |
- | ***(after getting the maskus) | + | ***(after getting the maskus) — We've already been through this exercise and it went pretty well, ya? |
**'''pebbles/rocks in well''' | **'''pebbles/rocks in well''' | ||
- | ***(at the well, when you have them) | + | ***(at the well, when you have them) — Then it'd be tough to get them back. You never go ANYWHERE without your rocks |
- | ***(at the well, when you don't have them or after you've gotten the maskus) | + | ***(at the well, when you don't have them or after you've gotten the maskus) — Riiight, right. Which ones? |
- | *'''[[pwd]]''' | + | *'''[[pwd]]''' — ~peasantsquest/''{location}'' |
===Q=== | ===Q=== | ||
- | *'''quit''' | + | *'''quit''' — Well fine Boring Sanders! Hope you saved your game cause it is OVER between us! ''('''Warning:''' The game actually does quit.)'' |
===R=== | ===R=== | ||
- | *'''ride horse/poor gary''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) | + | *'''ride horse/poor gary''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) — Naw, snapping horse spines just doesn't seem as cool as it did in high school. |
- | *'''ring bell''' (in the inn) | + | *'''ring bell''' (in the inn) — Instead of ringing or dinging, it just goes DUNG. |
===S=== | ===S=== | ||
*'''search bush''' | *'''search bush''' | ||
- | **(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) | + | **(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) — You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b. |
- | **(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) | + | **(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) — You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser |
- | *'''save''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) | + | *'''save''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) — You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you. |
- | *'''scare horse''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) | + | *'''scare horse''' (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) — You tell Gary the THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!! one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before. '''or:''' You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off. '''or:''' You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase<!--sic--> him. |
- | *'''sit on stump''' (at Poor Gary's glen) | + | *'''sit on stump''' (at Poor Gary's glen) — Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already! |
- | *'''skip stones''' (at the west side of the lake) | + | *'''skip stones''' (at the west side of the lake) — You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment. |
- | *'''slay trogdor''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) | + | *'''slay trogdor''' (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) — Like how? |
- | *'''sleep _____''' (can be followed by anything or nothing) (inside the woman's cottage) | + | *'''sleep _____''' (can be followed by anything or nothing) (inside the woman's cottage) — That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it. |
- | *'''sleep/sleep on bed''' (in the inn while the man is there) | + | *'''sleep/sleep on bed''' (in the inn while the man is there) — You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that. |
- | *'''smell/sniff''' (anywhere) | + | *'''smell/sniff''' (anywhere) — Smells like a computer game. |
*'''swim''' | *'''swim''' | ||
- | **(at the rock in the river) | + | **(at the rock in the river) — Peasants can't swim. Like, it's illegal. |
- | **(at the waterfall) | + | **(at the waterfall) — That waterfall would probably churn you into one of those weight-gain protein smoothies. |
- | **(at the west side of the lake) | + | **(at the west side of the lake) — Not in this game, Swimmer [[Dan]]! In this game, you drown. |
===T=== | ===T=== | ||
*'''talk''' | *'''talk''' | ||
- | **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) | + | **(at the archery range, while away from or behind the desk) — "Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?" |
- | **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) | + | **(at the archery range, after beating the minigame) — "Go away!" says Dongolev. "We're arguing about who's hotter," adds Mendelev. |
**(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- You startled him and he disappears! | **(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- You startled him and he disappears! | ||
*'''talk ____''' | *'''talk ____''' | ||
- | **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' | + | **'''(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere)''' — It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to. |
- | **'''baby''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) | + | **'''baby''' (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) — You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles. |
- | **'''gary''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) | + | **'''gary''' (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) — Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people. |
- | **'''jhonka''' (while inside the hay) | + | **'''jhonka''' (while inside the hay) — Not now! You'll blow your cover! |
- | **'''kerrek''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) | + | **'''kerrek''' (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) — 'Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already temp<!--sic-->ramental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you! |
- | **'''lady''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) | + | **'''lady''' (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) — You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name. |
**'''Naked Ned''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- 'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars. | **'''Naked Ned''' (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- 'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars. | ||
- | **'''tree''' (at the wavy tree) | + | **'''tree''' (at the wavy tree) — Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird. |
- | **'''trogdor''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) | + | **'''trogdor''' (in Trogdor's lair while he's asleep) — You yell some choice expletives at Trogdor but he doesn't wake up. There's a cool echo, though. |
**'''well''' (At the well) You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet. | **'''well''' (At the well) You yell into the well and enjoy the echo. Keep in mind there are no stereos yet. | ||
- | *'''this sucks''' (anywhere) | + | *'''this sucks''' (anywhere) — Come now. Don't get discouraged. |
*'''throw _____''' | *'''throw _____''' | ||
- | **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) | + | **(anything but the feed; at the fisherman's lake while he is fishing) — 'That isn't gonna work for bait!' the old man screams, at a needlessly harsh volume. |
- | **(feed or baby; at south side of lake, either side) | + | **(feed or baby; at south side of lake, either side) — Maybe try again from the center of the lake. Looks deeper there. |
- | **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) | + | **(anything; when the fisherman is gone) — You already fed the fish. Let's get moving, here, people! |
**'''baby''' | **'''baby''' | ||
- | ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) | + | ***(anywhere but the west side of the lake) — Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else. |
- | ***(at the well) | + | ***(at the well) — Throw it where? |
- | ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) | + | ***(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) — I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first. |
- | ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) | + | ***(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) — Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left. |
- | ***(anywhere without the baby) | + | ***(anywhere without the baby) — You don't even have two babies to rub together. |
**'''feed''' | **'''feed''' | ||
- | ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) | + | ***(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) — You have nothing with which to do that...with. |
- | ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) | + | ***(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) — You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people! (The repetition is probably just a goof.) |
- | *'''try''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) | + | *'''try''' (at Naked Ned's cottage) — Okay, fine. You try to cut off your hard-earned extremities. It doesn't work. You dead. Thanks for nothing. ''('''Warning:''' You die.)'' |
*'''turn crank''' | *'''turn crank''' | ||
- | **(at the well, before getting the pebbles, on the other side of the screen) | + | **(at the well, before getting the pebbles, on the other side of the screen) — You can't reach from there. |
- | **(at the well, before getting the pebbles) | + | **(at the well, before getting the pebbles) — It won't budge. Maybe if there was something heavy in that bucket... |
- | **(at the well, after you get the maskus, on the other side of the screen) | + | **(at the well, after you get the maskus, on the other side of the screen) — You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank. |
- | **(at the well, after you get the maskus) | + | **(at the well, after you get the maskus) — ''{first time}'' Down she goes! You could do this all day! ''{second time}'' The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles. |
===U=== | ===U=== | ||
- | *'''use pebbles''' (at the well) | + | *'''use pebbles''' (at the well) — What do you propose to do with them? Discuss. |
===V=== | ===V=== | ||
===W=== | ===W=== | ||
- | *'''wake up trogdor''' | + | *'''wake up trogdor''' — 'Troggie...', you murmur. 'Troggie, wake up it's time for Burnination school.' He's not budging. |
*'''wear _____''' | *'''wear _____''' | ||
- | **'''belt''' (after getting the belt) | + | **'''belt''' (after getting the belt) — You're already wearing it. Too bad you smell like the trash barge off Peasant Isle. |
**'''mask''' | **'''mask''' | ||
- | ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) | + | ***(anywhere but Poor Gary's glen) — Not on this screen. You've got your image to think about. Actually, you might want to start deliberating on that right now. |
- | ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) | + | ***(in Poor Gary's glen after scaring him) — Gary's gone now. Let go. Just let go./Let go! |
**'''robe''' | **'''robe''' | ||
- | ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) | + | ***(if the robe is not in your inventory) — You don't have anything but your 'Scalding Lake' t-shirt. And pants. Forgot to mention the pants. |
- | ***(if you are already wearing the robe) | + | ***(if you are already wearing the robe) — You're already in the old skool robe. Represent. |
- | *'''what the f-''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''<!--actually what the fuck--> (anywhere) | + | *'''what the f-''' ''([[Swears|uncensored version]])''<!--actually what the fuck--> (anywhere) — Come now. Don't get discouraged. |
- | *'''where''' (anywhere) | + | *'''where''' (anywhere) — You're hanging out in ''{location}''. |
- | *'''why''' (anywhere) | + | *'''why''' (anywhere) — I wish I knew. |
===X=== | ===X=== | ||
===Y=== | ===Y=== | ||
- | *'''yes''' (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches) | + | *'''yes''' (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches) — 'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. ''{The Jhonka clubs you to death}'' Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing! ''('''Warning:''' Obviously, you will die.)'' |
===Z=== | ===Z=== | ||
Line 883: | Line 883: | ||
'''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you. | '''Warning:''' All of the below will kill you. | ||
- | *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' | + | *'''(Walk too close to the Kerrek)''' — ''{The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground}'' Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing. |
- | *'''(Walk in the path of Dongolev's arrows)''' | + | *'''(Walk in the path of Dongolev's arrows)''' — Hopefully this guy will have some sense and not shoot you. ''{Dongolev shoots you in the head}'' That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing. |
- | *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' | + | *'''(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket)''' — Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing. |
- | *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' | + | *'''(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff)''' — ''{You fall to the ground and lie in a heap}'' Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing. |
- | *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' | + | *'''(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep)''' — ''{Trogdor burninates you without waking up}'' Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close. |
{{Peasant's Quest}} | {{Peasant's Quest}} | ||
[[Category:Peasant's Quest]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Video Game Responses]] | [[Category:Peasant's Quest]][[Category:Lists]][[Category:Video Game Responses]] |