Editing Blatant Lies

[[Image:Notswimpractice.PNG|thumb|"On Saturdays, I certainly '''don't''' wake up at 6 A.M., put on a [[Wikipedia:Speedo|Speedo]], and go to swim practice. Nope. Definitely not Speedo."]]
Several [[Homestar Runner (body of work)|Homestar Runner]] characters, most notably [[Strong Bad]], have been known to '''lie blatantly''' to one another or to the audience, often in an attempt to persuade others of the veracity of a situation, when in fact the opposite is extremely obvious. Sometimes the contradiction isn't immediately blatant, but always later on is revealed to be an obvious, deliberate lie. Sometimes the lie is blatant because it is admitted or proven to be a lie, other times because it is impossible the liar is telling the truth, and still other times the lie is so poorly constructed that one can't help but know it's a lie. Generally, blatant lies are most frequently used to cover up some embarrassing fact about the liar, or (especially in Strong Bad's case) to make the liar seem better. The facts that are lied about are also often brought up by the liar himself, without there being any previous accusation. Whatever the reason, blatant lies are the frequent lies that are, quite clearly, the worst and most ineffective practices of deceit in the [[Homestar Runner universe]].

==Appearances==
===[[Strong Bad Email]]s===
*Email [[stand-up]] — Strong Bad insists that he has never done stand-up comedy. [[Strong Sad]] appears to prove otherwise.
*Email [[sugarbob]] — Strong Bad types in [[Stylized Text on Strong Bad's Computers|different colors and fonts]] to try to convince the emailer's girlfriend that he is taken by several other girlfriends. 
*Email [[gimmicks]] — Strong Bad insists that [[Tandy 400|his computer]] did not [[Strong Bad's Computer Malfunctioning#Strong Bad's Computers Exploding|explode]].
*Email [[lures & jigs]] — Strong Bad nervously insists he knows about [[Strong Bad's Ladies|the ladies]], mere seconds after casually admitting he knows nothing about them.
*Email [[50 emails]] - Homestar Runner screws up Strong Bad's computer, then tapes a piece of paper over the screen which says, "System report: Everything is fine.  Nothing is ruined."
*Email [[huttah!]] — Strong Bad asserts that cheese and an anvil are two of the finest things in life, after [[The Cheat]] walks in on his claiming that The Cheat resembles these two items.  Also, he then tapes a piece of paper reading "the cheat" on the [[Compy 386]] to make it look as if emails to him are to The Cheat. Furthermore, Strong Bad claims that he thinks The Cheat doesn't have a computer, but this was after he used [[Tangerine Dreams|The Cheat's computer]] in [[weird dream]].
*Email [[autobiography]] &mdash; In his autobiography "Words I Probably Said" Strong Bad tells a blatantly false story about a girl with "skinny blond hair" who "loved him so much" but "had to go to another planet for reasons too complex to elaborate on." 
*Email [[2 emails]] — Strong Bad says that he is holding the [[Ladies' Choice Awards]], but no ladies show up. Strong Sad says that just a few minutes before, about a million ladies called and said that they would be a few minutes late. He admits this was a lie a few seconds later.
*Email [[stunt double]] — Strong Bad says that he doesn't use a stunt double. When ''[[Dangeresque (film series)|Dangeresque]] II: This Time, It's Not Dangeresque 1'' is then shown, it is obvious that Strong Sad is Strong Bad's [[The Stunt Double|stunt double]].
*Email [[impression]] &mdash; Strong Bad's impression of Strong Sad utilizes a tape recorder hidden under a sweatshirt, leaving a visible bulge. He states that he "push[es] play on [his] sweatshirt" in order to use it, which of course makes no sense unless he is actually pushing play on the tape recorder, and his own voice can clearly be heard on the tape, at which point he frantically stops it.
*Email [[kids' book]] — Strong Bad claims to have written a children's book, though it is clear he simply scratched out the [[Lem Sportsinterviews|author]]'s name and replaced it with his own.
*Email [[local news]] — Strong Bad says that he has to go and do something completely unrelated to [[Strong Bad Throwing Stuff Together|throwing together]] the local news that the sender of this email asked about.
*Email [[caffeine]] — Strong Bad finishes his presentation about [[Hyperactive Strong Sad|giving Strong Sad caffeine]] by suggesting that he had died. Strong Sad immediately protests from off camera and Strong Bad tells him to be quiet. He then concludes with Strong Sad being adopted. Strong Sad protests that "that's not true either!"
*Email [[different town]] — Strong Bad is singing while standing on the stool when Strong Sad walks in. Strong Bad claims that he was just checking the lights, even though the ceiling of the [[computer room]] is too high for him to reach.
*Email [[haircut]] — Strong Bad claims that [[Strong Mad]]'s image is "scanned" into the computer, when it's clearly visible that it's a picture of Strong Mad taped to the screen.
**He also claims that his [[permanent marker]] is a "light pen".
*Email [[theme park]] — Strong Bad attempts to make money by giving tours on the [[Strong Badia]]n "[[Riverquest Safariventure]]", which is just a cardboard box sitting by running water hose. He then claims in an Easter egg that there are head hunters, a giant rock that is about to hit them (both of which were just cardboard cutouts) and that there was a "furious gift shop" at the end of the tour.
*Email [[pom pom]] — To cover up the fact that [[Pom Pom]] had just [[Strong Bad Getting Beaten Up|beaten him up]], Strong Bad claims, "I'm pretty sure I didn't get the everloving snot beat out of me and that Pom Pom [[Explosions|exploded]] in a big fiery ball that was visible from space."
*Email [[crying]] — When Strong Bad begins to sniffle over [[Li'l Brudder]], he runs off claiming that he just has "a food" in the oven.
*Email [[other days]] — Strong Bad tries to convince the viewer that on Saturdays, he does not go to swim practice, and instead takes battle axe lessons. In an [[Easter egg]], Strong Sad is seen telling Strong Bad that they are late for swim practice.
*Email [[extra plug]] — After saying that the hot girl that he will be dancing with will be The Cheat, Strong Bad catches himself and states that it will be an actual hot girl. The advertising on the [['Lectric Boots]] box also lies, claiming to be "Whisper Quiet" in spite of the deafening motor.
*Email [[part-time job]] — Strong Bad sings "Comin' in to work on time.." while coming to his job at [[Bubs' Concession Stand]] 15 minutes late.
*Email [[long pants]] — Strong Bad says his white correction pen is an "electronic light-pen input high-tech expensive device", but later says quietly, "Stupid... made-up technology... that I made up... paint pen..."
*Email [[do over]] — [[Homestar Runner]] lies to Strong Mad saying that he was The Cheat after Strong Bad tried to "pat him on the head and give him some sage advice."
*Email [[record book]] — Strong Bad claims to have "accidentally made [[breakfast]]" all over his previous record for dirtiest [[diapers]].
*Email [[secret identity]] — Strong Bad says that his [[Secret Identities|secret identity]] is [[The Poopsmith]], only to be disproved when The Poopsmith himself walks in. He and the Poopsmith have also been seen together on numerous occasions.
**Also, Homestar gets a note that was signed "<strike>strong bad</strike> Cara Carabowditbowdit".
*Email [[myths & legends]] ([[myths & legends#Commentary Transcript|DVD Commentary]]) — [[Matt Chapman|Matt]] and [[Mike Chapman|Mike]] claim to never have made a [[Bear Holding a Shark]] T-shirt, yet it was made on March 27, 2006.
*Email [[senior prom]] — Strong Bad claims that he got a message on his "answering machine" from "Delilelia". It is obvious that he is the one providing the girl's voice, and that the "answering machine" is just a [[clock radio]] with a cassette tape on top.
*Email [[road trip]] — Strong Bad emphasizes that a "not originally yellow spotted sheet" is from [[Strong Sad's room]], and not [[Strong Bad's Room|his room]].
*Email [[cliffhangers]] &mdash; After [[Coach Z]] and Homestar accuse themselves of being [[the Thnikkaman]] and stealing the [[Lappy 486]], respectively, they both try to cover it up by talking about "sports team".
*Email [[4 branches]] — Homestar claims that moving into his [[mascot costume]] was "probably the coolest and least locking-[himself]-out-of-[his]-house-enest decision" he ever made.
*Email [[strong badathlon]] — Strong Bad claims that his strongest event in the [[Strong Badathlon]] is "Probably Something with Guitars, lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls". This event is only shown in [[Powered by The Cheat]] form, suggesting that the event did not actually take place.
*Email [[the movies]] — [[The King of Town]] insists that his many trays of sizzling fajitas came from a box of [[Wikipedia:Milk Duds|Milk Duds]].
*Email [[from work]] — [[Bubs]] tries to cover up the fact that he was going to go and play a [[Taser the Gnome for Low Rates!|gnome-tasering game]] by saying that he was going to get back to "upgrading the... taserin' that gnome... server".
*Email [[pizza joint]] — Upon learning that there are some hot girls interested in whether he has a pizza joint so they can patronize it, Strong Bad wiggles and bounces away exclaiming that he has a pizza joint. He is later seen creating a poorly convincing one with The Cheat.
*Email [[nightlife]] — Strong Bad tells Strong Sad that the body spray he's putting on is really the blood of slain warrior mammoths. He also claims that his name has been laser-etched onto the guest list, yet he has to use a fake name to get into the club.
*Email [[winter pool]] — Strong Bad tells the sender that they used the pool for [[skateboarding]] and taped it but they got accidentally taped over with cooking shows. He soon refers to this year's antics as "less pretend", revealing the truth of the skateboarding story.
*Email [[licensed]] — After showing Pom Pom his "unlicensed" Strong Bad wares in his trench coat, Bubs tells Strong Bad and The Cheat that he is wearing the trench coat because he is a "public flasher".
*Email [[rated]] — Strong Bad tries to convince [[Senor Cardgage]] that Bubs and Coach Z are his kids, and that they are old enough for him to be in his sixties.
*Email [[your edge]] — When The Cheat walks in wearing an apron, Strong Bad tells him it is ''not'' "Pretend We're Grandmas Baking" Time and it will never be again, then immediately whispers "see me after this email". Also, in an Easter egg, the two are in fact found playing "Pretend We're Grandmas Baking". Later on, Strong Sad pretends to check a computer and tells Strong Bad that staying in a hole is "edgy".
*Email [[imaginary]] — Coach Z's [[imaginary friend]] is [[Allegedly Real Things|supposedly an actual friend]].
*Email [[videography]] — In Strong Bad's demo reel for his videography films, there  are several lies about what is in the videos he used for examples.

===[[Marzipan's Answering Machine]]===
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 1.0]] — After leaving [[Marzipan]] a prank call, Strong Bad calls back for baking advice, insisting that he is calling her for the first time that day.
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 2.0]] — When Pom Pom calls and apparently tells Marzipan about something that Homestar said, Homestar repeatedly insists that he did not say that, and that Pom Pom is crazy.
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0]]
**When Strong Bad calls, he says that he has a real girlfriend who "lives up in the other country," for whom he needs to buy a Valentine's Day present, reiterating that, "She's really REAL."
**Homestar pretends to be a dial tone after realizing that he has called Marzipan annoying and overbearing on her own answering machine. After he pretends to be the dial tone, he says "Okay, bye!"
*[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2]]
**When Coach Z calls, he accidentally lets it slip that he breaks into Marzipan's house, but then tries to take it back and then talk about curly fries.
**When Strong Bad calls, he says that [[tofu]] is made from baby seals.

===[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]]===
*[[Homestar Ruiner]]
**When calling Coach Z, his answering machine states, "You've reached the cordless cell phone, and not the public pay-phone, of Coach Z."
**When asking Homestar or Marzipan why he wasn't invited to Homestar's victory party, both of them claim it's because the other dislikes Strong Bad. While Homestar's claim is true, Marzipan's claim that Homestar dislikes him is most likely a lie.
**Another instance involving the party: When asking Marzipan why he wasn't invited she asks him if he remembered the last time she invited him to a party. After having a detailed flashback of the event, Strong Bad replies "Uhh... no."
**Shortly after the instance listed above, Strong Bad notices that the party seems to focus more on Marzipan's garden than Homestar's unlikely victory. When he questions Marzipan, she denies it claiming she would never put her award winning vegetable garden before "...uuhh...". After Strong Bad said "Homestar" for her, she replied, "Right! [[Homsar]]."
**Coach Z starts his story on television by saying that he was "definitely not just standing around by [him]self".
*[[Strong Badia the Free]]
**When Strong Bad asks Strong Sad how to destroy the security gate, Strong Sad suspects that it's for something illegal, but Strong Bad says that it's a "radio call-in show question", and he wants to be the fourth caller.
**When Strong Bad gets the medal from an airline, he says it's for not crying during the whole flight, then claims that it's for rescuing the plane and [[Making Out|making out]]<!-- this is a rare instance where the pipe is necessary, otherwise it'll go to the email instead. Please don't remove it. --> with the flight attendants.
**Bubs claimed that he was just only working in the [[Countries in Strong Badia the Free|country]] "Pompomerania", and not embezzling thousands of dollars from [[Club Technochocolate]] itself.
*[[Baddest of the Bands]]
**Marzipan states her suspicion that Strong Sad, stating himself as a rock journalist, is actually in her [[Marzipan's House|house]] to pinch her bran muffins. Strong Sad (with his mouth full) denies this.
**Giving Strong Sad the security jacket and selecting the [[Devil and Angel Strong Bad|Devil Strong Bad]] will cause Strong Bad to claim it's for the band "Security". 
**Later, upon examining the katana, Strong Bad says that Pom Pom TOTALLY didn't get his sword back by giving him wedgies; he donated it. 
**When examining [[the pond]] after the bleach gets in it, Strong Bad will stare at all the dead fish and a tear drips from his eye. He claims he got bleach in his eye.
**Before lighting the oil in front of the [[Gremlin|cool car]] on fire, Strong Bad asks what Strong Sad said about cleaning up oil spills. The scene then cuts to a flashback in which Strong Sad says, "Uhh, set it on fire!", obviously being dubbed by Strong Bad.
*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]]
**When interviewing the King of Town about the similarities between himself and his character, [[Perducci]], The King of Town briefly mentions hiring people overseas to steal priceless art to sell on the black market. When Strong Bad ask him to repeat that last part, The King of Town claims he only mentioned that they both wear fancy hats.
**At one point, Dangeresque claims he easily beat Perducci in a card game, when in actuality, he kept losing- if only because Perducci kept cheating.
*[[8-Bit Is Enough]]
**Strong Bad insists it was Strong Sad who broke the [[TROGDOR!|Trogdor arcade machine]], when everyone saw him slam into it after he "had to jump" at the end of the previous episode.
**When one finds the "''Lady Crate Ape''" box cover, Strong Bad remarks he wondered where it went, then immediately claims that it belongs to Strong Sad.
**When Strong Bad calls [[Videlectrix]], the representative pretends to be an automated phone service. Later, when Strong Bad is billed for the new logic board, he pulls the same stunt.
**When obtaining the TrogSword, Strong Bad mentions getting rid of Homestar's pop-up window so he can resume his "make-out sessions". Homestar replies that he doesn't see any make-out sessions in Strong Bad's schedule, just pedicures and bubble baths, which Strong Bad claims are "code for make-out sessions".

===Other===
*[[A Jumping Jack Contest]] &mdash; Strong Mad tells Homestar that he is Strong Bad, but it is obvious enough that Pom Pom notices.
*[[The King of Town DVD]] &mdash; Near the end of the commentary, Strong Bad claims that The King of Town does not live in a [[The King of Town's Castle|castle]], but rather in an apartment next door to [[The House of the Brothers Strong|him]].
*[[In Search of the Yello Dello DVD]] &mdash; Strong Bad claims that his [[oven mitts]] are training gloves. In the commentary, he insists that they were added in.
*[[Halloween Awards Show]] &mdash; Strong Bad claims to have a super-hot girlfriend who recently got sucked into a wormhole. 
*[[Where's The Cheat?]] &mdash; Strong Bad calls Marzipan, pretending to be Homestar Runner, saying that he killed Pom Pom, ''while'' Homestar was at [[Marzipan's house]].
*[[Arcade Game]] &mdash; When Homestar asks Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat what they are playing, Strong Bad claims that they are doing The Cheat's [[taxes]].
*[[Lookin at a Thing in a Bag]] &mdash; For almost the entire toon, Strong Bad and his gang attempt to convince Homestar that there is something cool in their paper bags. Bubs convinces Homestar that he knows nothing about Strong Bad's plan to get free drinks. Homestar himself claims to have seen the thing in the bag when Bubs is preparing the drinks.  Later on, Strong Bad tells Homestar that the thing in the bag escaped into the mountains and when Homestar lets slip that he didn't get to look in the bag, he confesses to his lie.
*[[New Boots]] &mdash; Strong Bad tells The Cheat "everybody knows [he doesn't] wear [[underwear]]s", but there has actually been evidence of Strong Bad wearing underwear before; in the Strong Bad Email [[stand-up]], Strong Sad has a video tape of Strong Bad's failed comedic act, in which Strong Bad's pants fall down revealing his underwear. There has since been further evidence in [[senior prom]], [[Main Page 24]], and [[nightlife]]. 
*[[Senor Mortgage]] &mdash; The [[Visor Robot]] is advertised as "NOT A ROBOT!".
*[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 5]] &mdash;  [[Cheerleader]] says to some older boys that she and [[So and So]] are in college, while So and So claims that they are in 8th grade. Then Cheerleader claims that So and So is her little sister who's at least 5 years younger than her.
*[[Broken Compy Menu]] &mdash; When Bubs asks Homestar, who was previously arguing, what he is doing at the stand, Homestar replies that he was talking to nobody, everybody, or Strong Mad. When asked where Strong Mad is now, Homestar says that he [[Flying|flew]] away. Later on, Bubs claims to Homestar that the shotgunned Compy 386 is a low-priced automobile.
*[[Homestar Presents: Presents]] &mdash; While talking on the phone, Coach Z claims that he is not alone and his phone is plugged in, but nobody is nearby and the [[Disconnected Telephones|phone is unplugged]]. In addition, he claims to be eating "gravied yams and stuffinged ham" despite the fact that he is eating a TV dinner that he has already stated is Salisbury steak.
*[[TrogdorCon '97]] &mdash; When questioned by Strong Sad how he and The Cheat got the money to get a booth, Strong Bad insists that he does not know how The Cheat got 500 bucks or where Strong Sad's missing 500 bucks is.
*[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 10]] &mdash; After being caught making out with a drawing of [[The Ugly One]], Strong Bad claims that it is a piece of pizza and hurriedly stuffs the drawing into his mouth.
*[[Halloween Potion-ma-jig]] &mdash; The King of Town tries to convince Homestar that he is not trying to find a [[ham]] sandwich that he had buried in the [[Spooky Woods]] when he was nine. The Poopsmith is seen right next to him, digging holes.
*[[Fall Float Parade]] &mdash; In an Easter egg, Strong Mad claims that Bubs' Concession Stand followed him home, to which Strong Bad replies, "Uh, yeah. ''That's'' not true."
*[[Teen Girl Squad Issue 13]] &mdash; [[So and So]], at one point, tells [[What's Her Face]] about health class while holding up a book on health class which is actually just a disguised book on urban legends (with that title scribbled out).
**Also, So and So told [[Tompkins]] it was way past his bedtime at around 5:00 in the afternoon.
*[[Limozeen Live! (practice)]] &mdash; [[Larry Palaroncini]] says that he can only play on medium difficulty, while a pop-up states that he can't pass the first song on easy.
*[[SBCG4AP Dev Blog]] &mdash; Strong Bad shows off alleged screenshots of [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People|his upcoming game]], all of which have been edited very poorly. Despite this, he claims to be playing "[[Not X|Not]] [[MS Paint]]". In a later entry, he reveals some fake cheat codes for the game, with some screenshots that have also been sightly edited, but this time using [[Wikipedia: Photoshop|Photoshop]].
*[[The Baloneyman]] &mdash; When Homestar can't decide from the Baloneyman's gumball-centered sandwich or the sandwich shaped like a bite taken out of it, Bubs holds that it's ''shaped'' liked there's a bite taken out of it.
*[[The Next Epi-Snowed]] &mdash; [[Agent Chimendez]] informs [[Gunhaver]] that entering his box will "almost guarantee" him appearances in the rest of the season's episodes, while he actually plans to trap Gunhaver. 
*[[Place ya bets!]] &mdash; Homestar tries to descend an "invisible secret elevator" after Strong Sad asks if Homestar's "bomb" is just candles with a drawing of a clock taped to them.
*[[Most in the Graveyard]] &mdash; After Strong Bad asks where the pickled monkey fingers went, The King of Town is seen running over the hills of the graveyard yelling, "Iiiiii doooooon't knoooooow!"
*[[Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque]] &mdash; In the ending scene, [[Dangeresque (character)|Dangeresque]] apologizes to [[the Chief]] for the wait, and says that "someone stuck a barracuda in [his] desk".
*[[Behind The Bad Chapter 3: The Last Straw]] &mdash; Strong Bad claims to be the lead designer for SBCG4AP, has a girlfriend, shoots a [[shark]] [[gun]], and has a jet pack.
*[[Kick-A-Ball]] &mdash; In the "Official Kick-A-Ball Rules" handbook, Strong Bad has clearly attempted to falsify his identity as the author of a write-in rule. The rule is signed, "the commish (not strong bad)" and is even accompanied by a doodle of Strong Bad's face. Upon seeing this rule, Strong Bad further implicates his authorship by reprimanding The Cheat for not checking their own "Cheater's Almanac". Presumably, this almanac has a record of this rule.
*[[Poker Night at the Inventory]] &mdash; When the player wins a hand, Strong Bad will sometimes claim that it's not as impressive as the time he had a full house and a straight flush in one hand, which he calls a "flush house". Since a full house is three cards of a matching number and two cards of another matching number, and a straight flush is five cards all from the same suit with the numbers going in ascending order, having both in one hand is obviously impossible.
*[[I Killed Pom Pom]] &mdash; Homestar has a "legitimate conversation" with an alleged witness using a cardboard "burner phone", in front of The King of Town and the Poopsmith.
*[[@StrongBadActual]] &mdash; When asked where to buy the Compy iPhone case that appeared in his then-recent tweet, Strong Bad replies to a tweet with the text "SHH! This is not an ad!" with the link to the Compy phone case beside it.
*[[The House That Gave Sucky Tricks]] &mdash; Strong Bad's haunted house is called "St. Cadaverstump's totally not just an old furniture warehouse Morgue-tuary".

==See Also==
*[[Aliases Used in Prank Calls]]
*[[History according to Strong Bad]]
*[[Strong Bad's Ladies]]
*[[Exaggerated Strong Bad]]
*[[Allegedly Real Things]]
*[[Impersonations of Other Characters]]
*[[Inconsistencies within the Homestar Runner universe]]

[[Category:Exaggeration running gags]]
[[Category:Lists]]