Editing army

{{sbenav|93}}
[[Image:sbemail93.PNG|thumb|"Don't you die on me, Bennedetto!"]]

Hank Toler asks about [[Strong Badia]]'s army. The [[Homestarmy]] attempts to invade the kingdom.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}/{{Film|Firebert}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Homsar}}, [[Frank Bennedetto]], {{Film|Strong Mad}}, [[Mrs. Bennedetto]] (Easter egg)

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[The Stick]], [[Strong Badia]], [[Marzipan's House]] (Easter egg)

{{Comp|Compy 386}}

'''Date:''' Monday, January 5, 2004

'''Running Time:''' 4:10

'''Page Title:''' Compy 386!!

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Three}}, {{dvd|Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD|notitle=true}}

== Transcript ==

''{The Compy appears to be dusty with a little cobweb on the top left corner.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{runs in and sits}'' Whoa. Guess it's been a while. ''{wipes some dust off the Compy's screen}'' Sorry about that, Compy. Need to get some... ''{starts typing "strongbad_email.exe"}'' Endust.

''{Strong Bad reads}''

<blockquote class="compy email">Dear Strong Bad,<br />
I was curious as to whether or not<br />
Strong Badia had an official army.<br />
Your Homeboy,<br />
Hank Toler</blockquote>

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Does Strong Badia have an army? Strong Badia needs no army, Hankatola. Me and that one big guy and that one little guy... we're a one man army. Er, a three man one-y. Three-to-one-marny? What I mean to say is, what do we need an army for when the three of us pretty much do as we please? I mean, it's not like there's anyone around to oppose us.

''{Homestar Runner suddenly appears wearing a bowl on his head and carrying a large [[Orange Bowl and Spoon|spoon]].}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right, maggot! Fall it out. Colonel ''{he pronounces it phonetically, i.e. "col-o-nel"}'' Homestar Runner is recruiting ''the'' most elite team of crack commandos to invade Strong Badia. Do you has what it takes to join the Homestarmy? Will you bring a sack lunch and some orange slices for me and serve your country?
Will you, stupid?!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Um... no. I don't really have any interest in invading my own—

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ten-hut! Draft dodger, eh? Well, see if those trees you're always hugging save you when Gordon Lightfoot's creeping round your back stair. Company... Halt! Backwards... March!

''{Homestar marches backwards off screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What the—

''{Homestar sticks his head back in.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, and if you change your mind or wanna trade in that skirt you're wearing for a nice pair of camos, we're having a pep rally up at the stick in oh-fifteen minutes.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Wow. I thought I knew what ridiculous was, until this day. This definitely merits some further reconnaissance. The Cheat!

''{The Cheat runs in, wearing a black stealth suit and matching knit cap.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, I need you to find out—

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{sounding a little upset}'' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ohhh. Don't make me call you that. It's not a good commando name.

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{forcefully}'' ''{The Cheat noises}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ugh, all right. ''{reluctantly}'' Firebert, I need you to find out what the crap Homestar Runner is up to at The Stick in oh-fifteen minutes.

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{affirmative The Cheat noises as he salutes}''

''{Scene changes to The Stick.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are you sick and tired of playing second-fiddle to a two bit wrestleman and his yellow dog?

'''CROWD:''' YEAH!

''{faint rewind noise}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are you ready to fight alongside your Colonel ''{again pronounced phonetically}'' and give your five bucks to the Homestarmy if it comes to that?

'''CROWD:''' YEAH!

''{faint rewind noise}'' 

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Do you wanna paint that fence some other cool color and put a fake beard on that tire?

''{silence}''

''{Switches to view of Homestar's audience, showing it consists of the [[painting of a guy with a big knife]], Strong Sad holding a tapedeck, Homsar, and a popcorn popper.}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh, sorry. Forgot to rewind.

''{Strong Sad rewinds tape deck and presses play}''

'''CROWD:''' YEAH!

'''HOMSAR:''' DaAaAaAa! You gotta get yours. I gotta get mine.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' All right then, maggots! Let's get out there and invade us some serious Strong Badia! Company... GO!

''{The Homestarmy marches off and The Cheat appears from behind The Stick. The view now shifts to Strong Badia where Strong Bad and Strong Mad are wondering about badminton.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I don't know. Maybe there is a goodminton.

''{The Homestarmy marches up, but Homsar keeps going and walks right off the other side of the screen.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Strong Bad, so I see you decided to join the other side, eh?

'''STRONG BAD:''' What joining?? I ''am'' the other side!

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Ten-Hut! Prepare to feel the fluoride sting of the Homestarmy! Strong Badia... will be ours!

'''STRONG BAD:''' No it won't. We're about to play some badminton. So... no invasion.

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh. Oh I see. ''{pause}'' Retreat! Fall back men! We're in over our heads!

'''STRONG SAD:''' Hold the line! Hold the liiiine!

'''STRONG BAD:''' And take this stupid thing with you.

''{Strong Bad kicks the popcorn popper. A crash is heard off screen.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bennedetto! Don't you die on me, Bennedetto! Not on my watch! Don't you give up! ''{Tearing up}'' You never gave me the five bucks... ''{taps Bennedetto with his spoon}''

''{Cut back to Strong Bad's computer.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Typing}'' And that, my dear Hankerin', is why Strong Badia will never need an army, though we are in dire need of a copy of the official rules of badminton. No idea what we're doing. None.

''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{mumbling}'' Firebert. It's terrible!

== Easter Eggs ==
*Near the beginning, click "[[Three-to-One Marny]]" to see a handbook containing the rules to playing three-to-one marny, as written by [[Lem Sportsinterviews]]. Click the rulebook to read it.
*At the end, click "army" to see a [[Firebert]] action figure.  It's reminiscent of the action figures in the Strong Bad Email [[action figure]], and later appears with the [[Cheat Commandos]].
*Also at the end, click on "No idea" to see a scene at [[Marzipan's house]].
:''{Homestar is in Marzipan's kitchen. He walks up to a microwave.}''
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{saddened}'' Mrs. Bennedetto, my name is Colonel ''{still pronounced phonetically}'' Homestar Runner. I served with Frank in the Homestarmy at the battle of Strong Badia. I hate to give you this news... Frank was one of the finest friggin' soldiers I ever met! ''{no longer saddened}'' And he still kinda owes me five bucks. So, if you could just... fork it over...''{taps microwave with his spoon}''

== Fun Facts ==
===Explanations===
*This was the first Strong Bad Email after a few weeks of no update, most likely because of a break for the holiday season. This is the reason Strong Bad starts the email by dusting off the screen and saying, "it's been a while".
*The mention of a meeting occurring in "oh-fifteen minutes" is a parody of [[Wikipedia:24-hour clock|military time]], where a time like 5 a.m. would be [[Wikipedia:24-hour clock#The 24-hour clock in spoken English|spoken]] as "oh-five-hundred hours".

=== Trivia ===
*The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#seicross suckross|seicross (suckross)]]".
*This was a minor debut of the [[Cheat Commandos]].
*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Do you has what it takes to join the Homestarmy? Arguably the beginning of the Cheat Commandos!"
*The carpet in the computer room receives a new, sparser design in this email.

===Remarks===
*Strong Bad has finished the [[Painting of a Guy with a Big Knife]] since its first appearance. In [[i love you]], the bottom few inches of the canvas were left blank.
*The painting walks into Strong Badia by itself. Homsar carries Bennedetto and then wanders offscreen.
*The Compy is rather dusty, as can be evidenced by adjusting the contrast. Interestingly, the second cut to the Compy has the contrast increased so the dust around the edges is more visible.
*When Strong Bad kicks Bennedetto, he makes a shattering noise, but does not appear to be broken in any way.
*The Cheat [[Hammerspace|manages to fit behind]] The Stick, despite the fact it is clearly thinner than he is.
*After ordering "Company, go" at the pep rally, Homestar steps off with his right foot. The standard drill convention is to take the first step with the left foot.
*Strong Sad says he forgot to rewind the tape, but after the second cheer, the rewind sound is still heard.
*Judging by the shadow of the stick, Homestar should have a long angled shadow behind him, but there is none.
*Despite Homestar's authority, Strong Sad immediately defies his order by saying to hold the line right after Homestar issues a retreat.

===Goofs===
*The yellow printing on Firebert's toy box goes beyond the top of the box.
*When Homestar leaves Strong Bad at the computer, the contrast of the computer screen is automatically brighter. Then at the end when we cut to Strong Bad again, it is darker.
*When Homestar leaves Strong Bad at the computer and The Cheat (Firebert) comes, the contrast scroll disappears from the computer.
*When Homestar is preparing to invade Strong Badia, the ploughed ground continues to both edges of the screen. When zoomed in on Homestar, the edge of the ploughed ground can be seen with no apparent change in angle.
*When Strong Bad types "No idea  what we're doing.", there seems to be an extra space between "idea" and "what".
*When Homestar first enters the email from the right, he makes no reflection on the screen.
*The stick loses its shadow after Strong Sad plays the tape for the final time.
*When Homestar kneels by [[Frank Bennedetto|the popcorn machine]] and says "Don't you die on me, Bennedetto!", the outline of his right leg is broken.

===Glitches===
[[Image:TwelveOfThemLinesGlitch.png|thumb|Only two of them lines got glitched]]
*When Homestar is giving his pep rally, the lines on the "Twelve of them" box extend off of the box to its left.

===Inside References===
*The [[Soapbox|box]] Homestar is standing on at The Stick says "Twelve of Them". This is a reference to [[fingers]], in which Homestar stands on a box which bears the words "Eleven Soaps".
*When Homestar asks Strong Bad "Do you has what it takes to join the Homestarmy?" he says "has" instead of "have."  This is likely a reference to the [[In Search Of The Yello Dello DVD]], in which he makes the same mistake (and is criticized by Strong Sad for it in the commentary).
*Homestar asks Strong Bad if he will bring orange slices for his colonel. This may be a reference to Homestar's favorite snack, [[Bronco Trolleys]].
*Homestar Runner again calls Strong Bad "[[Wrestleman]]".
*Strong Bad (pretending to be Homestar) claimed to play [[badminton]] with Pom Pom in [[Where's The Cheat?]].
*[[Trivia Time]] makes an appearance as a cookie jar beside Mrs. Bennedetto in the Easter egg.
*Homestar mentions [[tree hugging]].
*Homestar [[Homestar Poking People|pokes]] several people throughout the course of this toon.
*Homestar commands the Homestarmy to "[[X it out|Fall it out]]". "fall out" is an actual command, telling soldiers assembled in formation they are allowed to break that formation.

===Real-World References===
*Homestar warns Strong Bad about [[Wikipedia:Gordon Lightfoot|Gordon Lightfoot]], a [[Canada|Canadian]] singer, saying "We'll see if those trees you're always hugging save you when Gordon Lightfoot's ''creeping round your back stair''". This is a lyric from one of his most famous songs, the Billboard #1 from June '74, "Sundown". The referenced lyric is "Sundown, you better take care, if I find you've been creepin' 'round my back stairs."
*Bennedetto is most likely a [https://www.gopresto.com/products/products.php?stock=04820 Presto 04820 PopLite Popcorn Maker].
*[[Wikipedia:Endust|Endust]], a product by the [[Wikipedia:Sara Lee Corporation|Sara Lee/DE Corporation]], is a spray designed to prevent dust settling on furniture.
*The standard Homestarmy 'helmets' are Tupperware bowls.
*Homsar's line "You gotta get yours. I gotta get mine" is a reference to "Gotta Get Mine," a song by MC Breed (feat. Tupac).

===Fast Forward===
*Frank Bennedetto may have been the only casualty of [[The Battle of Strong Badia]], but he may not have died. Homestar led Mrs. Bennedetto to believe that he was dead, but the appropriate term is more 'missing in action'.  He is seen behind the fence in the [[Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon]], and actually back in the army in [[Labor Dabor]].  It is possible both that it is Frank Bennedetto or another popcorn maker of the same kind.
**In [[more armies]], while Homestar is advertising the Homestarmy, Bennedetto is sitting on the table with a plaque under him reading, "Not free popcorn, memorial statue".  This suggests that  Bennedetto actually did die.  Since this email has many other references to [[army]], he probably died at The Battle of Strong Badia.
**Also, in [[Strong Badia the Free]], When Homestar is running the draft, if it lands on one of the Bennedettos, Homestar will reference The Battle of Strong Badia, and say something like "Haven't [the Bennedettos] suffered enough?"
*[[Firebert]] later becomes a character in the [[Cheat Commandos]]. Additionally, the fact that Firebert is not a good commando name is referenced again, in the toon "[[Shopping for Danger]]", when Firebert is ordered to "stay here and think of a better commando name", and in an Easter egg in the email [[more armies]], when The Cheat's (Firebert's) booth does not have visitors.
*The spoon Homestar holds is used again in the email [[old comics]] by Strong Mad when he eats the pasta salad in the Easter egg.
*There would later be a [[Downloads|downloadable]] Homestarmy poster.

== DVD Version ==
*The Three-to-One-Marny Easter egg is viewable using the angle button on your DVD remote.
*To view the Firebert Cheat Commando action figure, select the hidden Strong Bad logo located on the right hand side of the Compy screen after the video is over.
*To view the Easter egg of Homestar talking to the microwave, select the hidden Strong Bad logo located at the bottom left hand side of the Compy screen after the video is over.
*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
**This commentary also extends into the Mrs. Bennedetto Easter egg.

=== Commentary Transcript ===
('''Commentary by:''' [[Mike Chapman]], [[Matt Chapman]])

'''MIKE:''' Oooh, it's been a while. How long had it been since we had done an email?

'''MATT:''' Maybe a month.

'''MIKE:''' 'Cause there's dust and cobwebs.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' It had been—What had we done? Didn't we do some other stuff?

'''MATT:''' I don't know. It was after the holidays?

'''MIKE:''' No, it was before that—

'''MATT:''' ''{simultaneously, overlapping}'' I think it was—

'''MIKE:''' What number is it?

'''MATT:''' Ninety... three?

'''MIKE:''' Well... maybe... Anyway, for whatever reason we had, uh, not done emails for a while, so that's what the

'''MIKE & MATT:''' dust

'''MIKE:''' and

'''MIKE & MATT:''' cobweb

'''MIKE:''' is about. Um... So this is one we've talked about before. I mean, we'd come up- you had come up with the term "Homestarmy"—

'''MATT:''' Yeah, a ''long'' time ago

'''MIKE:''' for a long—yeah, like a year or so ago

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' We were going to make a full cartoon, I think

'''MIKE:''' yeah

'''MATT:''' originally, and then we decided, since we don't make those anymore, we'd just ''{laughs}'' make Strong Bad emails. There's, uh, Seicross there.

'''MIKE:''' That was a good game.

'''MATT:''' Over ten million.

'''MIKE:''' ''{goofy voice}'' sol—sold tsill—zill-millions. ''{laughs} Till''-millions.

'''MATT:''' in his stack— ''{mumbles}''

'''MIKE:''' I like the carpet, the carpet underneath his, uh—

'''MATT:''' Yeah, that's the new and improved

'''MIKE:''' Yeah

'''MATT:''' shag carpeting.

'''MIKE:''' People sometimes catch onto the fact that the s—that the—when Strong Bad gets up it makes a sound against a wood floor

'''MATT:''' Yeah

'''MIKE:''' which is what it ''was''; when we lived in the apartment, it had hardwood floors and we just, you know, pushed a stool across it to get that sound. And that was before we ever showed what Strong Bad

'''MATT:''' Right

'''MIKE:''' was—But then, it's carpet, and so people

'''MATT:''' But I—

'''MIKE:''' got a kick out of pointing that out to us.

'''MATT:''' Yeah, I think it's great. I think we're gonna leave it that way forever and ever.

'''MIKE:''' ''{agreeing}'' Mmm-hmm.

'''MATT:''' I think we should make it a point of, like, one time he's on a pillow, he's got the stool ''{Mike snickers}'' on a pillow and it's still like—

'''MIKE:''' There's one time when Matt—

'''MATT:''' ''{imitates "Geddup noise"}''

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, that's, that—Which one is it, the one where you...?

'''MATT:''' It's the vacation one, I think.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, where Matt just makes that sound—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' I just made Strong Bad go ''{"Geddup noise"}''

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' Um...

'''MATT:''' So, this is, uh, where Cheat Commandos comes from.

'''MIKE:''' Yep. That's right. Where'd you—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' So I was trying to come up with what his commando name was, so I just started writing a ton of ''words'' down, among them Fightgar, Crackotage, all what eventually became all of the, uh—

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, so we just had this list, so we made this, and then like, a couple weeks later, we saw that list of all those names, and we were like, "Well, we should just make

'''MATT:''' Yeah, just

'''MIKE:''' all of them."

'''MATT:''' make the whole thing. Uh, "Little Albert" was one we didn't use, we thought it was too much like Reynold.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' There was "Gun"—uh, "Runfire". ''{Mike laughs}'' There's another one that I think we nixed.

'''MIKE:''' Wasn't the, uh... the last time, that box said "Eleven of them"?

'''MATT:''' Maybe, I think it was. Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' I forget which one it is—So I wasn't thi—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' So it—''{resumes}'' It already rewound actually there, so that's a mistake; he had already rewound it

'''MIKE:''' Ohhh.

'''MATT:''' so you hear it rewind, and then... But, so—Anyways, Mike just got one of those, uh—

'''MIKE:''' Popcorn poppers.

'''MATT:''' big old popcorn poppers from Miss Cordell's class. ''{Mike snickers}'' Popcorn Party Friday.

'''MIKE:''' So yeah, maybe the pup—uh, puppet is gonna, maybe—Puppet Bennedetto, which is just a Presto air popper ''{Matt laughs}'', will maybe make an appearance sometime.

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' ''{chuckles}'' I love how Homsar deposits the—just kinda poops out the Bennedetto there.

'''MIKE:''' And just keeps on going.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' So, he's got this orange Tupperware bowl we had growing up on his head.

'''MATT:''' Oh, is that why it's orange? What Tupperware bowl?

'''MIKE:''' You don't remember the orange Tupperware stuff we had?

'''MATT:''' ''{conceding}'' Yeah... I remember the, like—There was the, the cas—

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' Well the lid has ridges on it.

'''MATT:''' Yeah yeah yeah, and like... stars... sorta.

'''MIKE:''' ''{overlapping}'' I mean, it's kinda that one.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. Okay.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' I don't know what "Hold the line" is originally from. It just seems like a staple ''{Mike snickers}'' of army movies. Old war movies.

'''MIKE:''' It's dusk now.

'''MATT:''' Now it's suddenly dusk. ''{Mike snickers}''

'''MIKE:''' 'Cause it seems to make this more dramatic.

'''MATT:''' Makes it sadder if it's dusk.

'''MIKE:''' ''{snickers}'' I like how he taps everything with that—

'''MATT:''' ''{laughs}'' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' Really needs to have that all the time. I think if Homestar had arms, visible arms, it would—it would be a lot funnier all the time. Like, 'cause he could be... poking people—

'''MATT:''' ''{overlapping}'' ... doing something with them a lot. ''{pause}'' Is that it?

'''MIKE:''' ''{noncommittal noise}''

'''MATT:''' No, just that.

'''MIKE:''' Now it's done.

=== Easter Egg Commentary ===
'''MATT:''' So there's, um... There's little Trivia Time over there.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, on the far right.

'''MATT:''' ''{agreeing}'' Mmm-hmm.

'''MIKE:''' The cookie jar. So is this, um, Bennedetto's wife or mom?

'''MATT:''' I've always said it was his mom.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, me too.

'''MATT:''' That's what I figured.

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''MATT:''' Yeah. People always thought he swore there, I remember, 'cause he says, "best frigging soldier"...?

===Fun Facts===
*The Brothers Chaps point out [[the Geddup Noise]], which would later get [[geddup noise|its own email]].
*The list of commando names would later be published on [[@StrongBadActual]], and [[Rejected Cheat Commandos|Little Albert and Runfire]] would be given fan-made designs.
*Mike notes how Homestar is [[Homestar Runner Poking People|often seen poking]] other characters.

==External Links==
{{preforumsbemailextlinks|93|youtube=N8_4hIYO8gY}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}
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