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Do you has what it takes to join the Homestarmy? Will you bring a sack lunch and some orange slices for me and serve your country? Will you, stupid?!
Say, young man! Say, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man! You look like you come from a long line of five bucks-havers!

The Homestar Runner Wiki needs your help! More specifically, we need your money—but just a little bit of it. To bring this vast knowledge base to you, we have to have a server, and unfortunately it's not free. We have a whole lot of users, though, and if everybody chipped in, say, ten bucks every so often, we'd easily be able to cover all of our hosting costs. Will you help us?

Make a donation

But wait! you say. What about this:

I wanna be the guy, but I'm just a kid! Maybe when I'm older.

If you're an honest-to-goodness child (age 12 or younger), then thanks for reading this far, but we don't want your money. If you're an olda boy (or girl), please keep reading.

Why do you need my money? Why don't you just have ads?

Because ads are awful. Seriously. Remember when we had those joke ads for a day? Now imagine that they're real and we have them all the time. It's bad enough we have that annoying sitenotice at the top of every page during the fundraising drives, but at least it goes away when they're over.

On a panel at ROFLCon in 2008, this one guy that does the voices for the dumb animal characters on this Internet cartoon that I think you heard of had this to say about ads: "Ads are the worst thing about the Internet. ... I — hate advertising." [video] He hates it so much that we had to leave out a swear! And we completely agree with him.

Why not just get a wiki on that popular site that hosts wikis?

Didn't you see what we said about ads? That site not only has ads but also a horrendous skin and lame policies. Besides that, we've got to have our own server, because cool extensions like Autopipe were written just for us, and we host sister sites, like the forum.

What do you use the donations for, specifically? Are you guys profiting from this?

The Homestar Runner Wiki does not make any profit at all. All donations are used for hosting costs and domain registrations. All work on the site is done on a volunteer basis. We maintain a ledger of all donations and payments.

I don't have a lot of money. I don't even have a job.

We respect that. Money's tight these days. But you've got some spending cash, right? So pick a day and skip getting fast food. Or maybe wait a week to see that movie. Again, we're not asking for a lot, just for a lot of people to give a little.

I gave last time.

And thanks one million for that. But our hosting costs are an ongoing obligation. We're only asking for a small amount a couple of times a year. Please consider us again, won't you?

I totally would send you ten bucks but I don't have a credit or debit card. All I've got is cash.

That's okay! Simply give your ten bucks to your mom or dad and very politely ask if you can borrow their credit/debit card. Maybe clean your room up a bit to sweeten the deal. C'mon, that place is a mess!

My parents think Homestar Runner is stupid (the body of work, not the character) and they won't let me use their card.

Your parents are stupid. Just kidding, they're not. Maybe a friend can help you out? It's your money, right? You can do what you want with it.

My parents think Homestar is an okay guy and a terrific athlete, but they're afraid of using their card online.

The Homestar Runner Wiki uses PayPal for its transactions. PayPal is safe, quick, and easy.

I would love to use PayPal but I don't have a PayPal account, and I don't really want to sign up for one.

You don't need one! Just use this link to get to PayPal. Enter an amount in the Unit Price box, and then down where it says "Don't have a PayPal account?", click Continue. You'll then be prompted to enter your information for a one-time transaction.

How much would I have to give to cover the cost of the PayPal transaction so that you get ten whole bucks?

$10.61. See this nifty formula for more info.

I'm only a five bucks-haver.

For every dollar you give, we laugh at it, 'cause, like, what good's a dollar gonna do? Okay, not really. Every little bit helps.

I have more than ten bucks I want to give.

Your pizza trophy is on the way!

Thanks for reading this! Hopefully it doesn't come across as pushy; that's not our intent. We just wanted to emphasize, in case it wasn't clear, how easy it is to donate and how what might seem like a small amount can add up quickly if we all pitch in. We also hope you got a chuckle. For more information, including international transactions, see HRWiki:Donations. If you're new to the wiki, why not take the tour!

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