The Homestar Runner Gets Something Stuck In His Craw

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Toon Category: Shorts
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"Why don't you just go away?"

We travel backwise to 2004, when Strong Bad tells another timeless story.

Cast (in order of appearance): The Homestar Runner (storybook), Strong Bad, Tiny-Handed Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Coach Z, Bubs, Homestar Runner

Places: The Field, The Computer Room

Date: Monday, April 14, 2008

Running Time: 3:00

Page Title: The Timeless Classic Comes To Life!


[edit] Transcript

{The short opens with an illustration done in the style of the original book, with Homestar wearing his Duckie Shirt. Strong Bad narrates throughout.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: The Homestar Runner Gets Something Stuck In His Craw.

{Next page shows Homestar Runner wearing his Duckie Shirt and surrounded by orange circles}

Everyone loves The Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete.

{Page turns to Homestar hoeing in the Field}

Once a time, he was in the field doing some yard work.

{Close up of Homestar sweating}

"This yard work is hard work!" quipped The Homestar Runner.

{Pull back to reveal Tiny Handed Strong Bad and The Cheat entering from the left.}

Strong Bad and his The Cheat rolled up and started talking smack.

"You look dumb and stuff! {Close up to Strong Bad and The Cheat. The Cheat's tongue starts to hang out of his mouth.} Doing yardwork is only for the loseriest of losers!"

{Medium short of Homestar}

The Homestar Runner was saddened by this bit of news and felt ashamed.

"I never want to be a loser again!" {Master shot of all three} he said and somersaulted away.

{A picture of the earth from above, with Homestar tumbling in silhouette.}

He somersaulted around the world 50 times and only stopped because he was really tired.

{Close-up of Homestar upside down in space}

"Phew!" said The Homestar Runner.

{Homestar tumbles back into the field with Strong Sad. A throbbing lump appears in his shirt.}

Just then, it felt like a small animal tried to burst out of The Homestar Runner's craw.

{Close-up of Strong Sad}

"That is unsightly and make it go away!" shrieked [Strong Sad] some fat girl.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Something is stuck in my craw!" declared The Homestar Runner.

{A small bush with pink leaves is in a field. Homestar tiptoes nervously from the right and stands behind the bush.}

For days upon days, he slinked around town trying to hide whatever it was that was stuck in his craw.

{Medium shot of Homestar. A wig appears on the bump when it is said.}

{Flatly} One day he put a wig on it.

{Coach Zee leans in from the left}

"That's a nice wig ya got on your craw growth job there Homestar Runguy!" pronounced Coach Zee.

{Close up of Homestar}

Another day, he painted it green and [painted] drew some stripes on it.

{Bubs pops in in the background}

"Man! When is that nasty thing gonna go away-way?!" queried Bubs.

{Homestar and Strong Sad in the field}

Finally, he asked [Strong Sad] The Ghost of Christmas Suck what to do.

"Sensible people solve their problems with words, not disguises," advised {mumbling, as if disappointed at running out of insults} Strong Sad.

{Homestar Runner in silhouette against a yellow background}

So The Homestar Runner tried talking to his craw lump.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Why don't you just go away?" But it didn't answer.

"I just wish I knew where you came from." Still, no answer.

{Medium shot, Homestar on the left. Strong Bad and The Cheat enter from the right.}

Just then, Strong Bad and The Cheat walked up and started laughing their rear ends off.

"Ha ha ha ha! That guy is talking to a thing that's not a person!" cackled Strong Bad with sort of a nose.

"Hey, you leave him out of this!"

Right about that time, the thing stuck in his craw popped out!

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Lands End!" yelped The Homestar Runner.

{Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat in silhouette against a yellow background}

The craw object, or crawbject, unfurled and was {close-up of Homestar} revealed to be...

{Medium shot of Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat}

A red shirt with a big white star!

"That is one pointy duck!" said {with light sarcasm} the smartest person in the world. {Homestar puts on the shirt}

{Pull back to reveal Bubs and Coach Zee to the left of Homestar}

"Don't you look a sight," {questioningly} said Bubs.

"Now I can truly see that you're a terrific airthlete," realized Coach Zee.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"I couldn't have done it without my craw!!" said The Homestar Runner.

{Long shot of Homestar tumbling towards Mars, with the others in the field}

Then he somersaulted to Mars and brought them all back meatball subs.

{Coach Z, Bubs, Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat all standing with meatball subs. Strong Bad's appears to be floating, even though he has arms.}

"I still hate you and later on, {Strong Bad holds up a knife} you gonna get cut," threatened tuff-as-nails Strong Bad.

{Close-up of Homestar}

"Oh, Strong Bad!"

{Homestar winks}


{After a moment, Homestar winks again, creating an actual ding.}

{cut to the Computer Room. Homestar is sitting on the floor, while Strong Bad is sitting at his desk with the Compy in the year 2004, holding a copy of the storybook he just read.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bravo, Strong Bad. You simply must read one more.

STRONG BAD: Ohh, fine, fine. So I shall. How about {takes out another book and smiles} The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed?

{Strong Sad leans in}

STRONG SAD: There is no such kids' book!

{The cover for The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed flies up at the end.}

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • The craw (also known as the "crop") is an anatomical structure in some animals in which food is stored prior to digestion.
  • Mike and Craig are references to Mike Chapman and Craig Zobel, the writers of the original Homestar Runner book.

[edit] Trivia

  • At the end, Strong Bad's computer (the Compy 386) reads:
  • Coach Zee can apparently pronounce 'job', unlike his modern counterpart.
  • At the end, there is a faint question mark (?) in the middle of the bed on the cover of the Strong Sad book.

[edit] Remarks

  • The Main Page Message linking to this toon still read "new short!" after the toon was over two weeks old.
  • When Homestar begins somersaulting around the world, he seems to have started somewhere above either the Atlantic Ocean or Western Europe, not Free Country USA, based on the position of the globe.
  • When Homestar is decorating his craw growth, the text says that he 'painted it green and painted some stripes on it'. However, Strong Bad's narration says he '..drew some stripes on it'.

[edit] Goofs

  • When Homestar begins to somersault away, the duck on his shirt flips horizontally so that the beak points to the right.

[edit] Inside References

  • In flashback, Strong Bad says he'll tell this story but gets sidetracked when his computer displays a message commenting on his 100th email. That email was originally going to tell the story of how Homestar got his star shirt, until it was reworked — the version of the shirt's origin seen here is very different from the one proposed for the email.
    • In the DVD commentary, Matt comments that "We should make that," referring to this story.
    • The floppy disk marked Cave Quest also appeared in flashback.
  • Coach Z's name was last spelled "Coach Zee" in Where My Hat Is At?.
  • "Crawbject" is a portmanteau.
  • Strong Bad smiles as he offers to read The Strong Sad Wets Yonder Bed.
  • Homestar calls the star on the red shirt a pointy duck.
  • Strong Bad has a "sort of a nose".
  • The music playing when Homestar is somersaulting around the world is the beginning of the Theme Song Video.
  • Homestar put a wig on his craw.

[edit] Real-World References

[edit] External Links

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