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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Ah, fan clubs. Sweet, innocent, restraining order-inducing fan clubs. Don't get me wrong, fans are great. It's the addition of 'club' that totally roons it. ''{clears the screen}'' Which is the opposite of how it usually works. For instance: turkey = ''{the word is typed in a dull brown color; other voices groan}'' mrenh, turkey club = ''{the word appears in a rainbow of colors}'' mmmMMRENHhhhh! ''{the other voices cheer "Yay!"}'' But yes, there is a sbemail fan club. Its members call themselves 'Deleteheads' and in a chocolate-covered bit of Stockholm syndrome-esque irony, their president is brother Strong Sad! | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Ah, fan clubs. Sweet, innocent, restraining order-inducing fan clubs. Don't get me wrong, fans are great. It's the addition of 'club' that totally roons it. ''{clears the screen}'' Which is the opposite of how it usually works. For instance: turkey = ''{the word is typed in a dull brown color; other voices groan}'' mrenh, turkey club = ''{the word appears in a rainbow of colors}'' mmmMMRENHhhhh! ''{the other voices cheer "Yay!"}'' But yes, there is a sbemail fan club. Its members call themselves 'Deleteheads' and in a chocolate-covered bit of Stockholm syndrome-esque irony, their president is brother Strong Sad! | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to Strong Sad standing at a table in his room. He is wearing a hat styled after a computer's delete key, which reads "Del" on it}'' |
'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{singing}'' Popa-ulation: Tiii-iii-iiire! ''{sits, producing [[the Geddup Noise]]}'' All right, deleteheads. It's been a big week for the fan club. | '''STRONG SAD:''' ''{singing}'' Popa-ulation: Tiii-iii-iiire! ''{sits, producing [[the Geddup Noise]]}'' All right, deleteheads. It's been a big week for the fan club. | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to Strong Mad, The Cheat, and the Cinderblock sitting across from him, all wearing the same delete key hat}'' |
'''STRONG SAD:''' We finally switched over our web hosting from ''{cut back to Strong Sad}'' Geofire to Angelcities. | '''STRONG SAD:''' We finally switched over our web hosting from ''{cut back to Strong Sad}'' Geofire to Angelcities. | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{screen of the Deleteheads website, called "The Delete-Heads Website", pops up. There is a pixelated picture of Strong Bad dancing, as well as links to "Our friend Scott's website".}'' |
'''STRONG SAD:''' And they've upgraded all of our dead links to hyperlinks! | '''STRONG SAD:''' And they've upgraded all of our dead links to hyperlinks! | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{the website screen drops off again, showing Strong Sad once more}'' |
'''STRONG SAD:''' We also had several interesting discussions in the ongoing debate series "Non Sequitur Champion: Cardgage or Homsar". | '''STRONG SAD:''' We also had several interesting discussions in the ongoing debate series "Non Sequitur Champion: Cardgage or Homsar". | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{scene cuts to either Senor Cardgage or Homsar, chosen at random:}'' |
*'''HOMSAR:''' ''{wearing a computer key hat that reads "Thump"}'' My name's Millions, and I'm a son of a Chipwich! | *'''HOMSAR:''' ''{wearing a computer key hat that reads "Thump"}'' My name's Millions, and I'm a son of a Chipwich! | ||
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*'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' ''{standing next to a duffel bag}'' Carrageenan<!-- sic!? - yes, they spelled it "carageenan" in the QOTW. That is a misspelling. -->, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp? | *'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' ''{standing next to a duffel bag}'' Carrageenan<!-- sic!? - yes, they spelled it "carageenan" in the QOTW. That is a misspelling. -->, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp? | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut back to Strong Sad}'' |
- | '''STRONG SAD:''' ... | + | '''STRONG SAD:''' ...Well, debate's over! Oh, and I just received confirmation today that Abdi LaRue, ''{scene switches to the view of Strong Mad and The Cheat}'' sender of the first ''{Strong Mad grins}'' Strong Bad Email, ''{cut back to Strong Sad}'' is a lock for this year's FHQWHfest. |
- | ''{ | + | ''{the flier for "FHQWHfest '08" appears}'' |
'''STRONG SAD:''' And there's a rumor ''{the flier disappears}'' going around that Stro Bro himself might show up to sign autographs! | '''STRONG SAD:''' And there's a rumor ''{the flier disappears}'' going around that Stro Bro himself might show up to sign autographs! | ||
- | ''{Strong Bad walks by, seen through the doorway, carrying an | + | ''{Strong Bad walks by, seen through the doorway, carrying an overly-long submarine sandwich. The sandwich continues to go by the doorway after Strong Bad's line}'' |
- | '''STRONG BAD:' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah... I'm not comin'. |
- | '''STRONG SAD:''' Don't forget to bombard Strong Bad with emails on Sunday night. ''{thumps fist for emphasis}'' I think we should go with asking about Bubs's first wife. Some good potential there. | + | '''STRONG SAD:''' Don't forget to bombard Strong Bad with emails on Sunday night. ''{thumps fist for emphasis}'' I think we should go with asking about Bubs's first wife. Some good potential there. ''{at this point, The Cheat, still wearing his Del hat, can be seen through the doorway, carrying the end of Strong Bad's sandwich.}'' She was a real firebrand, that one! |
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut back to the Lappy}'' |
- | + | ||
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- | + | ||
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So that's fan ''clubs'', the next worst word you can couple with the word 'fan' is, you guessed it, ''{ominous, eerie music plays}'' the word ''{Strong Bad's voice slows down, and the camera zooms in on the word as he types it}'' 'fiction.' | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So that's fan ''clubs'', the next worst word you can couple with the word 'fan' is, you guessed it, ''{ominous, eerie music plays}'' the word ''{Strong Bad's voice slows down, and the camera zooms in on the word as he types it}'' 'fiction.' | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to a sheet of paper. The words appear typed on the paper as Strong Sad says them}'' |
- | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' A Grade A Gray Day, | + | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' A Grade A Gray Day, a sbemail fanfic by S.Sad |
- | ''{ | + | ''{pan down to show the Lappy from the back. Strong Sad's words appear above the scene now}'' |
'''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' The Lappy hummed quietly to itself. | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' The Lappy hummed quietly to itself. | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{the scene changes to show Strong Bad rubbing his chin and puzzling over the Lappy.}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Curious... | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Curious... | ||
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Very curious indeed. | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Very curious indeed. | ||
- | '''STRONG BAD:' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Since that's totally the way I talk. |
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to a shot of the Lappy's screen, showing the message "Your inbox has 0 new messages".}'' |
'''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' His inbox flickered "0 new messages" back at him. | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' His inbox flickered "0 new messages" back at him. | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut back to a long shot of Strong Bad and the Lappy, with empty space on the left side}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, this is definitely fiction. | '''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, this is definitely fiction. | ||
- | ''{Homestar walks in. After the word "striding", the words | + | ''{Homestar walks in. After the word "striding", the words no longer appear at the top of the scene.}'' |
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Ahoy, Strong Bad! | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Ahoy, Strong Bad! | ||
- | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ...said Homestar Runner striding casually into the room. | + | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ...said Homestar Runner striding casually into the room. ''{close up of Homestar}'' |
- | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' You'll never have to answer another email again! ''{cut back to Homestar and Strong Bad}'' | |
- | + | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' You'll never have to answer another email again! | + | |
- | + | ||
- | ''{ | + | |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Grandiose. | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' Grandiose. | ||
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' "What did you do this time?" | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' "What did you do this time?" | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{whispering | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{whispering}'' Hey, Strong Bad. Check out my Strong Sad impression. Ahem. |
- | ''{ | + | ''{close up of Homestar}'' |
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' "I turned them all over to Twelve-Times-A-Day Man!" | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{voiced by Strong Sad}'' "I turned them all over to Twelve-Times-A-Day Man!" | ||
- | ''{Cut to a long shot of Homestar with empty space on the left side. Twelve-Times-A-Day Man, who is Strong Sad dressed in a yellow mask and cape, with a logo reading "12X" on his chest, flies down from the top of the screen and lands behind Homestar | + | ''{Cut to a long shot of Homestar with empty space on the left side. Twelve-Times-A-Day Man, who is Strong Sad dressed in a yellow mask and cape, with a logo reading "12X" on his chest, flies down from the top of the screen and lands behind Homestar}'' |
'''TWELVE-TIMES-A-DAY MAN:''' I can do it! I can do it twelve times! | '''TWELVE-TIMES-A-DAY MAN:''' I can do it! I can do it twelve times! | ||
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey, Strong Sad. | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey, Strong Sad. | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to Strong Bad}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' Twelve-Times-A-Day Man? You can't just start makin' up terrible new characters! | '''STRONG BAD:''' Twelve-Times-A-Day Man? You can't just start makin' up terrible new characters! | ||
- | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...he said, putting on a bonnet, ''{a bonnet | + | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...he said, putting on a bonnet, ''{a bonnet appears on Strong Bad's head, he tries to take it off with stiffened arms to no avail}'' and giving Homestar a deep-tissue massage. ''{the Lappy flies up out of Strong Bad's way, as he raises his arms and approaches Homestar unwillingly}'' |
- | + | ||
- | ''{ | + | |
'''STRONG BAD:''' Aah! No!! | '''STRONG BAD:''' Aah! No!! | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, this gon' be good! | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, this gon' be good! ''{turns away so Strong Bad can rub his back}'' |
- | + | ||
- | ''{ | + | |
'''STRONG BAD:''' That's it. Two can play at this extremely nerdy game! | '''STRONG BAD:''' That's it. Two can play at this extremely nerdy game! | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{a piece of notebook paper comes down instead. His words also appear as he says them, while dialogue appears in word balloons}'' |
'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' INTO the MORONOSPHERE!! A deleteheads fan ''fiction'', ''{the following does not appear}'' because I have plenty of time to say both syllables. ''{the following words appear}'' By Strong Bad. | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' INTO the MORONOSPHERE!! A deleteheads fan ''fiction'', ''{the following does not appear}'' because I have plenty of time to say both syllables. ''{the following words appear}'' By Strong Bad. | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to a rough drawing of Strong Sad sitting at a table, with a poorly drawn The Cheat and a drawing of Strong Mad that more closely resembles a large cardboard box with an angry face surrounding the table.}'' |
'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Bad}'' "And that's why I like ALL them Star Tracks!" | '''STRONG SAD:''' ''{voiced by Strong Bad}'' "And that's why I like ALL them Star Tracks!" | ||
- | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ...said Strong Sad, an entire bag of Twizzlers falling out of his mouth. | + | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ...said Strong Sad, an entire bag of Twizzlers falling out of his mouth. ''{a saliva-covered bag marked "TWIZ" hits the table in front of Strong Sad}'' |
- | + | ||
- | ''{ | + | |
'''STRONG SAD:''' Hey! You know I can't eat Twizzlérs! | '''STRONG SAD:''' Hey! You know I can't eat Twizzlérs! | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to a drawing of Strong Sad being menaced by a long sandwich with eyes and fangs}'' |
- | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' Suddenly, an eight-foot sub sandwich constrictor eng...sm...sploded ''{ | + | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' Suddenly, an eight-foot sub sandwich constrictor eng...sm...sploded out of nowhere! ''{the caption "engsmsplode!" is added to the drawing, with a burst around the sandwich constrictor for emphasis}'' |
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut to Strong Sad, who is very poorly drawn}'' |
'''STRONG SAD:''' You can't just start making up terrible new words! | '''STRONG SAD:''' You can't just start making up terrible new words! | ||
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'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...whined Strong Sad,{{--}} | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...whined Strong Sad,{{--}} | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{scene changes to a picture of the sandwich constrictor partially wrapped around Strong Sad}'' |
'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' {{--}}already up to his waist in braided hoagie roll. | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' {{--}}already up to his waist in braided hoagie roll. | ||
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'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' Just then,{{--}} | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' Just then,{{--}} | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{the scene changes to show Homestar coming in from the left. His shirt and soles are missing (though he still has a star on his chest), and a leaf is covering his crotch}'' |
'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' {{--}}Homestar traipsed in, naked as a jaybird. | '''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' {{--}}Homestar traipsed in, naked as a jaybird. | ||
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'''STRONG SAD:''' Fiction! I mean fiction! I'll go easy on the fan FICTION! | '''STRONG SAD:''' Fiction! I mean fiction! I'll go easy on the fan FICTION! | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{leaning in close; Strong Sad | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{leaning in close; Strong Sad is looking away}'' Hey 12 Times A Day Man, are you gonna eat all them Twizzlérs? |
- | ''{ | + | ''{cut back to the Lappy}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Ohh, grandiose! Very grandiose, indeed! Maybe fan clubs and fan fiction aren't so bad after all. In fact, I'm gonna go dabble in a little King of Town fan fiction right now. | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Ohh, grandiose! Very grandiose, indeed! Maybe fan clubs and fan fiction aren't so bad after all. In fact, I'm gonna go dabble in a little King of Town fan fiction right now. | ||
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'''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...said Strong Bad. | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...said Strong Bad. | ||
- | ''{Strong Bad gets up and leaves, producing the Geddup Noise | + | ''{Strong Bad gets up and leaves, producing the Geddup Noise}'' |
'''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...said Chairscoot. | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...said Chairscoot. | ||
- | ''{[[New Paper]] comes down | + | ''{[[New Paper]] comes down}'' |
'''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...said the New Paper. | '''NARRATOR STRONG SAD:''' ''{voice-over}'' ...said the New Paper. | ||
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*At the end, click on the first "fan fiction" to see Twelve-Times-A-Day Man "save" Marzipan. | *At the end, click on the first "fan fiction" to see Twelve-Times-A-Day Man "save" Marzipan. | ||
*:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{playing a paddleball game until she misses}'' Aww, shootie-kahootie. I could only do it eleven times today. | *:'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{playing a paddleball game until she misses}'' Aww, shootie-kahootie. I could only do it eleven times today. | ||
- | *:''{Twelve-Times-A-Day Man flies down from the top of the screen | + | *:''{Twelve-Times-A-Day Man flies down from the top of the screen}'' |
*:'''TWELVE-TIMES-A-DAY MAN:''' I can do it! I can do it twelve times! | *:'''TWELVE-TIMES-A-DAY MAN:''' I can do it! I can do it twelve times! | ||
*At the end, click on "dabble" to see a picture of Homsar's "[[parents]]": a photo of a mug of coffee and a Chipwich cookie. | *At the end, click on "dabble" to see a picture of Homsar's "[[parents]]": a photo of a mug of coffee and a Chipwich cookie. | ||
*At the end, click on "King of Town" to see Strong Bad's King of Town fan fiction. | *At the end, click on "King of Town" to see Strong Bad's King of Town fan fiction. | ||
- | *:''{ | + | *:''{a roughly drawn cartoon of The King of Town with a puddle in front of him, and an unknown substance splashed around his mouth}'' |
*:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over; speaking as The King of Town}'' I can't believe I ate that whole pile of whatsit! ''{normal voice}'' ...Said the King of Town. | *:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voice-over; speaking as The King of Town}'' I can't believe I ate that whole pile of whatsit! ''{normal voice}'' ...Said the King of Town. | ||
*:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' I wish that ''were'' fiction... | *:'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' I wish that ''were'' fiction... | ||
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*A {{w|Non sequitur (literary device)|non sequitur}} is a response that bears no relevance to the preceding statement. | *A {{w|Non sequitur (literary device)|non sequitur}} is a response that bears no relevance to the preceding statement. | ||
*Twelve Times a Day Man is an example of a {{wp|Mary Sue}}, a common affliction of fan fiction. | *Twelve Times a Day Man is an example of a {{wp|Mary Sue}}, a common affliction of fan fiction. | ||
+ | *Strong Bad promising Homestar a deep tissue massage is an example of {{w|Slash fiction|slash}}, a popular but controversial type of fan fiction. | ||
*A {{w|Massage#Medical massage|deep tissue massage}} is a massage that focuses more on a specific joint or muscle group in order to access deeper tissue. | *A {{w|Massage#Medical massage|deep tissue massage}} is a massage that focuses more on a specific joint or muscle group in order to access deeper tissue. | ||
*{{wp|Carrageenan}} is a food additive derived from seaweed. | *{{wp|Carrageenan}} is a food additive derived from seaweed. | ||
*Strong Sad's comment about bombarding Strong Bad with emails on Sunday night refers to the fact that the Brothers Chaps typically post emails on Mondays. | *Strong Sad's comment about bombarding Strong Bad with emails on Sunday night refers to the fact that the Brothers Chaps typically post emails on Mondays. | ||
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===Trivia=== | ===Trivia=== | ||
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===Remarks=== | ===Remarks=== | ||
- | *The "Homsar's Parents" Easter egg shows up even if the "non-sequitur champion" scene | + | *The "Homsar's Parents" Easter egg shows up even if the "non-sequitur champion" scene relinquishes Homsar's appearance in the email. |
*Vector Strong Bad's "engsmsplode" comes out of his mask, rather than his mouth. | *Vector Strong Bad's "engsmsplode" comes out of his mask, rather than his mouth. | ||
*Marzipan claims she could only do 11 paddleballs, yet in the Easter egg she's only seen doing 9, although she could have done two before the Easter egg started. | *Marzipan claims she could only do 11 paddleballs, yet in the Easter egg she's only seen doing 9, although she could have done two before the Easter egg started. | ||
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*The Deleteheads reappear in both teasers for the [[email thunder|200th Strong Bad Email]] ([[Place Ya Bets!]] and [[Sbemail 200 Fakeout]]). Additionally, years later, the Deleteheads would get their own [[The Deleteheads Download|newsletter]], which people could sign up for starting with the January 13, 2018 update to the [[Index Page]]. | *The Deleteheads reappear in both teasers for the [[email thunder|200th Strong Bad Email]] ([[Place Ya Bets!]] and [[Sbemail 200 Fakeout]]). Additionally, years later, the Deleteheads would get their own [[The Deleteheads Download|newsletter]], which people could sign up for starting with the January 13, 2018 update to the [[Index Page]]. | ||
*An illustration of a child dressed as Twelve-Times-A-Day Man appears in [[Costume Commercial]]. | *An illustration of a child dressed as Twelve-Times-A-Day Man appears in [[Costume Commercial]]. | ||
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*The real Homestar would have a leaf covering his crotch in [[April Fool 2014]]. | *The real Homestar would have a leaf covering his crotch in [[April Fool 2014]]. | ||
*The King of Town denies having eaten a missing pile of whatsit in [[I Killed Pom Pom]]. | *The King of Town denies having eaten a missing pile of whatsit in [[I Killed Pom Pom]]. |