Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2

From Homestar Runner Wiki

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(undid revision 755929; Sorry, didn't see that the template was still there.)
(→Transcript)
Line 52: Line 52:
'''STRONG BAD:''' What? Why the crap is her mailbox full?
'''STRONG BAD:''' What? Why the crap is her mailbox full?
-
''{Cut to Marzipan's answering machine, which appears to be in poor condition.}''
+
''{Cut to Marzipan's answering machine, which appears to be in poor condition. The display shows glitchy symbols throughout the toon.}''
===Marzipan's Greeting===
===Marzipan's Greeting===
Line 63: Line 63:
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{falsetto}'' Oh, hey, Marzipan! This is Joanie Allthetime, uh, your acupuncturist. Calling you to tell you, I, I had a new do-it-yourself-from-home program. That means you don't have to come to see me no more to stick needles in you! So I want you to wander around your house, uh, reciting your— this new mantra that I will give you. Which is, um, Yoplait, Fage, Oikos, um, Activia. So you just say that over and over again, and then pick up any sharp or even blunt objects around your house and just jab them right, right into you! Um, I would work the kidneys first, and then from there, move on to— to the eyes. Okay, namaste, have yourself a real nice day! Ha, hey, that's a new mantra! Don't use that one, though; use the yogurt one.
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{falsetto}'' Oh, hey, Marzipan! This is Joanie Allthetime, uh, your acupuncturist. Calling you to tell you, I, I had a new do-it-yourself-from-home program. That means you don't have to come to see me no more to stick needles in you! So I want you to wander around your house, uh, reciting your— this new mantra that I will give you. Which is, um, Yoplait, Fage, Oikos, um, Activia. So you just say that over and over again, and then pick up any sharp or even blunt objects around your house and just jab them right, right into you! Um, I would work the kidneys first, and then from there, move on to— to the eyes. Okay, namaste, have yourself a real nice day! Ha, hey, that's a new mantra! Don't use that one, though; use the yogurt one.
 +
 +
===Message 2===
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{in a halting voice, like a stereotypical robot}'' Hey, Marzipan. This is Homestar Runner. I heard that you got a new smartphone, so instead of leaving you a message, I'm texting this to you. Smileyman, winky smileyman, wineglass wineglass 90s camcorder, send.
 +
 +
===Message 3===
 +
 +
'''AUTOMATED VOICE:''' You have a call from: Free Country USA Penitentiary.
 +
 +
'''COACH Z:''' Uh, surprise, surprise, Marzipan! Guess where I ended up! The hoosegow! They only give ya one phone call here, so I couldn't think'a anyone better to blow it on than you, Marzi. Uh, I'm gonna— I'm gonna be away for a while, I think, here. You're— you're gonna hear a lot of stuff comin' out on the news. I want you to ignore seventy-five to ninety-eight percent of it, if you could. Uh, the part where they say that my name is Coach Z? Uh, you can listen to that. The part where they say I'm mostly green? That— that's a— that's a fact. That's a police fact. The rest I would just ignore if I was you. Anyways, Bubs is gonna represent me, so that'll be fun. Hey, and get this: they say I'm a flight risk! That sounds like somethin' you'd see on a trophy, doesn't it? "Coach Z: First Place Flight Risk! Two hundred thousand dollar bail!"
 +
 +
'''AUTOMATED VOICE:''' Call ended... for being ''way'' too depressing.
 +
 +
===Message 4===
 +
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, man, Marzipan! Have heard about the new internet craze, planking? It is gonna be around forever, and I'm gonna be doing it forever! Etched into the halls of history!
 +
 +
===Message 5===
 +
 +
'''BUBS:''' Hey, Marzipan, it's Bubs! Look, I been thinking that maybe I need a catch phrase or something. Seems like everybody else got one. Strong Bad says "holy crap", Homestar says "seriously", Coach Z can't speak English. But what about Bubs? All anybody remembers about me is how I once stole an aircraft carrier. What kinda legacy is that? So I got a list here of some catch phrase candidates. Lemme— lemme try 'em out on you, see whatcha think. "Zabbledoo!" Huh? "Zabbledoo"? I'd say it like, "Zabbledoo, Marzipan! What can I zabbledoo for you?" I think that sounds pretty good. I can also go with something classic, like yellin' "Scarborough Fair!" Whaddya think of that? Or like somethin' that sounds like it's from the fifties or sixties maybe? "Put it to me!" Huh? "Put it to me"? I dunno. If you think of any ideas, gimme a shout! Poppodoplous!... Naw, that's terrible.
== Fun Facts ==
== Fun Facts ==

Revision as of 10:42, 1 April 2016

Marzipan's Answering Machine #17
watch ← Version 16.2 Version 1.0 →
"OH DANG MUFFINS PIE A LA MODE!"

Marzipan checks her answering machine after seven years of wandering about.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Sad, Homsar, Visor Robot, The Poopsmith, The King of Town, sloshy, Puppet Homestar, Litigation Jackson, Larry Palaroncini, Humidibot, F-Sack, Senor Cardgage, Marshie, Horrible Painting, Balding Man, Stinkoman, Pan Pan, 1-Up, The Homestar Runner, Blue Laser Commander, Crack Stuntman, Old-Timey Strong Bad, Sickly Sam

Places: House of the Brothers Strong, Marzipan's House

Date: Friday, April 1, 2016

Running Time: 31:09

Page Title: Just think of it as a podcast!

Contents

Transcript

This transcript is in progress.
Jay (Talk | contribs) is currently adding or changing substantial content. As a courtesy, until this tag is removed please do not edit this transcript unless absolutely necessary.
To the person working: This tag is not a claim to the transcript that you can leave and come back to later. You are expected to be adding or changing content right now. You should save your progress periodically (about every 15 to 30 minutes) or indicate in some way that you are still working, or else the tag should be removed so that other users may edit the transcript.


{The scene opens with a phone hook lying on the floor; the receiver is offscreen. It has a funnel on top of it, and in the funnel are two bottles of "Cheez Wheez" and a bottle of "Lite Em Up Dan" lighter fluid. Two more bottles of Cheez Wheez are nearby.

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Oh dang!

{The camera pans across the phone's cord, to a part that is entangling more bottles of Cheez Wheez and some batteries, which are connected by wires.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Oh dang muffins!

{The camera pans more to an axe suspended from the ceiling, with two speakers attached to it, all entangled by the phone cord.}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Oh dang muffins pie!

{Cut to Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat, in the same room as all of the previous. The phone's receiver is dangling from the ceiling.}

STRONG BAD: OH DANG MUFFINS PIE A LA MODE! This is gonna be the best April Fools Day prank call ever!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Now you're sure the science is sound? The battle axes and Cheez Weezes will actually get through the phone lines?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: Oh... fiber optics... makes sense, makes sense... Marzipan won't know what hit her! Alright, Strong Mad, dial the number!

STRONG MAD: {picks up the phone} Uh... Um...

STRONG BAD: {snatches phone} Never mind, I'll dial the number. Um... Never mind, The Cheat, you dial the number.

THE CHEAT: {Takes the phone from Strong Bad and dials Marzipan's phone number as he makes some The Cheat noises. He hands the phone back to Strong Bad as it rings.}

PHONE OPERATOR: We're sorry, the mailbox of the answering machine you're trying to prank is full! Please try again later.

STRONG BAD: What? Why the crap is her mailbox full?

{Cut to Marzipan's answering machine, which appears to be in poor condition. The display shows glitchy symbols throughout the toon.}

Marzipan's Greeting

MARZIPAN: Hi, this is Marzipan. I'll be out and about for about seven years, so I'll give you a call back after that. Thank you! {beep}

Message 1

AUTOMATED VOICE: Message 1 from: June 17th, 2009.

STRONG BAD: {falsetto} Oh, hey, Marzipan! This is Joanie Allthetime, uh, your acupuncturist. Calling you to tell you, I, I had a new do-it-yourself-from-home program. That means you don't have to come to see me no more to stick needles in you! So I want you to wander around your house, uh, reciting your— this new mantra that I will give you. Which is, um, Yoplait, Fage, Oikos, um, Activia. So you just say that over and over again, and then pick up any sharp or even blunt objects around your house and just jab them right, right into you! Um, I would work the kidneys first, and then from there, move on to— to the eyes. Okay, namaste, have yourself a real nice day! Ha, hey, that's a new mantra! Don't use that one, though; use the yogurt one.

Message 2

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {in a halting voice, like a stereotypical robot} Hey, Marzipan. This is Homestar Runner. I heard that you got a new smartphone, so instead of leaving you a message, I'm texting this to you. Smileyman, winky smileyman, wineglass wineglass 90s camcorder, send.

Message 3

AUTOMATED VOICE: You have a call from: Free Country USA Penitentiary.

COACH Z: Uh, surprise, surprise, Marzipan! Guess where I ended up! The hoosegow! They only give ya one phone call here, so I couldn't think'a anyone better to blow it on than you, Marzi. Uh, I'm gonna— I'm gonna be away for a while, I think, here. You're— you're gonna hear a lot of stuff comin' out on the news. I want you to ignore seventy-five to ninety-eight percent of it, if you could. Uh, the part where they say that my name is Coach Z? Uh, you can listen to that. The part where they say I'm mostly green? That— that's a— that's a fact. That's a police fact. The rest I would just ignore if I was you. Anyways, Bubs is gonna represent me, so that'll be fun. Hey, and get this: they say I'm a flight risk! That sounds like somethin' you'd see on a trophy, doesn't it? "Coach Z: First Place Flight Risk! Two hundred thousand dollar bail!"

AUTOMATED VOICE: Call ended... for being way too depressing.

Message 4

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man, Marzipan! Have heard about the new internet craze, planking? It is gonna be around forever, and I'm gonna be doing it forever! Etched into the halls of history!

Message 5

BUBS: Hey, Marzipan, it's Bubs! Look, I been thinking that maybe I need a catch phrase or something. Seems like everybody else got one. Strong Bad says "holy crap", Homestar says "seriously", Coach Z can't speak English. But what about Bubs? All anybody remembers about me is how I once stole an aircraft carrier. What kinda legacy is that? So I got a list here of some catch phrase candidates. Lemme— lemme try 'em out on you, see whatcha think. "Zabbledoo!" Huh? "Zabbledoo"? I'd say it like, "Zabbledoo, Marzipan! What can I zabbledoo for you?" I think that sounds pretty good. I can also go with something classic, like yellin' "Scarborough Fair!" Whaddya think of that? Or like somethin' that sounds like it's from the fifties or sixties maybe? "Put it to me!" Huh? "Put it to me"? I dunno. If you think of any ideas, gimme a shout! Poppodoplous!... Naw, that's terrible.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • Jeremy Lin is an NBA player who famously began his career by leading the New York Knicks to a large winning streak, only to later struggle once signed by another team.

Trivia

  • This is the first toon uploaded to homestarrunner.com to not have a Flash file; instead, the YouTube version is used.
  • At 31:09, this is not only the longest toon on the site, but it's nearly four times as long as the next-longest, I Killed Pom Pom.
  • This is the second time The Poopsmith has broken his vow of silence, and the first time he has had spoken dialogue. John Linnell reprised his role as the voice of The Poopsmith from email thunder.

Real-World References

  • Homestar is excited for the releases of both the Ouya game console, and the Google Glass headset. Both of these products underperformed in sales.

External Links


Marzipan's Answering Machine

Version: 1.0 | 2.0 | 3.0 | 4.0 | 5.0 | 6.0 | 7.0 | 8.0 | 9.2 | 10.2 | 11.2 | 12.2 | 13.2 | 14.2 | 15.2 | 16.2 | 17.2

Retrieved from "http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Marzipan%27s_Answering_Machine_Version_17.2"
Personal tools