Compy Catalog
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(→Trivia: The names are in red text, too, but I doubt it would look very good.) |
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''{zoom out to Strong Bad.}'' | ''{zoom out to Strong Bad.}'' | ||
| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' Because | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Because Piccadilly's not open, 24 hours. |
''{flips the page, followed by a record scratch}'' | ''{flips the page, followed by a record scratch}'' | ||
Revision as of 07:07, 3 August 2009
| Toon Category: Shorts |
|
Strong Bad chooses a new computer.
Cast (in order of appearance): The Poopsmith, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad
Places: The Field, Strong Sad's Room, Computer Room
Date: Monday, August 3, 2009
Running Time: 3:48
Page Title: If it doesn't say Compy, it might not be a Computer.
Contents |
Transcript
{The Poopsmith opens Strong Bad's mailbox and puts a letter in it. He is wearing a postal uniform with a small picture of The Cheat on the shirt. He closes the mailbox and walks away. Birds can be heard in the background. Cut to Strong Bad's Basement.}
STRONG BAD: It's here!
{cut to The Cheat in the crisper drawer.}
STRONG BAD: It's here!
{cut to Strong Sad's room.}
STRONG BAD: It's finally here!
{music begins.}
STRONG SAD: It's here!
{zoom in to Strong Sad.}
STRONG SAD: It's here! It's fina-l-ly here!
{zoom out to a full-body shot. Confetti shoots out from off-screen.}
STRONG SAD: There's no more time for expectat—
{Strong Bad pokes his head in.}
STRONG BAD: Shut up!
STRONG SAD: {sadly} That was the happiest I've ever been...
{cut to the mailbox. Strong Bad runs to it and grabs a slip of paper that's in it.}
STRONG BAD: I've been waiting all dang year for this!
{zoom into a pamphlet that has the Compy logo on it, also saying "NEW PRODUCTS CATALOG". The year "2009" has been pasted over the year "1989".}
STRONG BAD: The 2009 Compy new products catalog!
{cut back to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: A new compy catalog is like Decemberween morning,
{a picture of a present pops up in a thought bubble above him.}
STRONG BAD: my birthday,
{a bazooka pops up beside it.}
STRONG BAD: A candy store,
{the SBLOUNSKCHED bar pops up.}
STRONG BAD: and Strong Sad's funeral all wrapped up in one piece of junk mail!
{a party blower pops up next and blows. The clouds then disappear.}
STRONG BAD: Now I can finally find a suitable replacement for the Lappy!
{Strong Bad opens the catalog. Six laptops are on the first page. The text above the laptops say "A rainbow of choices!" The text below it says "Fabulous flourescents!}
STRONG BAD: Ooh, look at this new line of brightly colored Lappies! Neon Tan,
{a laptop of that color appears on the screen.}
STRONG BAD: Gray Passion, Rodeo {pronounces like "ro-day-oh} Beige, Italian Same, Glittery Taupe.
{zoom out to a full body shot of Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Seems like these are more for those stylish ladies and the rat-dogs that— Wait. did they just try to tell me same is a color?
{flips the page}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Our most family-friendly Compy ever,
{cut to a picture of a very large computer.}
STRONG BAD: The roomy-vac is a computer for the entire household! Woah! Comes with
{cut to a zoom-in of a built-in printer with paper feeding out of it. The text "Built-in!" flashes.}
STRONG BAD: Eight inch monitor,
{cut to a small monitor with a keyboard in front of it still built into the large computer. The text "Eight-in!" flashes.}
STRONG BAD: Three bedroom, two-and-a-half bath!
{a family appears in front of the computer.}
STRONG BAD: And a front door for easy access!
{a front door appears on the computer.}
STRONG BAD: {reading, monotone} The Roomy-Vac is a real powerHOUSE...get it? Oh, you don't? Well, because it's the size of a... Oh, you were kidding? You do get it? Pretty good, huh? No?
{the price "$240,999.99" is below it but not read. Cut back to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Why would they print that whole exchange? Anyway, what else they got?
{flips the page.}
STRONG BAD: {reading} Do you have problems opening up digital pictures of your grandkids or taking four consecutive steps? Then have we got a Compy for you!
{cut to a computer similar to the Compy 386, only with a Needlepoint screen.}
STRONG BAD: The Grampy Aught-Six utilizes easy to read 400-point type!
{as Strong Bad speaks, the letters "Dear Oldie," appear on the screen two letters at a time, scrolling with a clang sound.}
STRONG BAD: Turning even the shortest email into an unforgettable all-day affair! And you'll never lose track of our
{a very large mouse appears on the screen.}
STRONG BAD: meat-loaf sized cursor,
{The cursor transforms into a pixelly meat loaf.}
STRONG BAD: it's shaped like meat loaf too!
{cut to a mouse.}
STRONG BAD: Optional mouse, that is an
{the mouse transforms into an actual mouse}
STRONG BAD: actual mouse that will pre-chew your food for you, sold separately. The Grampy Aught-Six.
{zoom out to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Because Piccadilly's not open, 24 hours.
{flips the page, followed by a record scratch}
STRONG BAD: Oh, my goodness, graphics. I like the looks of {high-pitched} thiis!
{cut to a modern-looking computer.}
STRONG BAD: The Compé, because flat-panel sophistication demands made-up words.
{zoom into the Compé.}
STRONG BAD: The Compy Compé delivers European-sounding flair,
{Europe flies on the screen with the text "FLAIR" in it}
STRONG BAD: With southeast Asian-sounding prices.
{Southeast Asia flies in with a dollar sign in it}
STRONG BAD: My two most favorites!
{explosion occurs. Cut back to Strong Bad who tosses the catalog in the air.}
STRONG BAD: Oooh! I'm gonna put my eighty-thousand pennies in the mail right now!
{Strong Bad tosses a very large bag onto the mailbox with the word "compé" written on it. There is a single stamp on the right corner.}
{yellow text on a black background: 2-4 weeks later...}
{cut to Strong Bad sitting at the desk with the Compé sitting on it.}
STRONG BAD: All right, Compé, that accent mark better not let me down!
{he then turns it on. The word "compé" appears on the screen with a sigh.}
STRONG BAD: So sleek. So-phisticated. So, Compé.
{The Compé then pulls up a system error that reads the following:}
FRAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR
Your bland new computer is bloke.
Please prepare to wait on hold
with tech support for several hours.
The current tech support smugness
level is RED.
{Strong Bad grunts with frustration. Then the computer flashes the words "i joké" on-screen.}
STRONG BAD: Oh-ho-ho-ho. A wise guy, eh? I think you and me are gonna get along just fine, Compé.
{cut to the picture of the Compé in the catalog.}
SINGER: It's here! It's here! It's fina-l-ly here!
Fun Facts
Trivia
- Eighty-thousand pennies is 800 dollars.
- When zoomed in, the card on the Decemberween present in Strong Bad's imagination reads:
TO:
STRONG BAD
FROM:
MOM OR DAD
Goofs
- Fluorescent is misspelled in the first page of the catalog.
Inside References
- When Strong Bad mentions a candy store, a SBLOUNSKCHED! bar appears.
- Strong Bad mentions Strong Sad's funeral.
- The Cheat is lying in the Crisper Drawer.
- This is another instance of Strong Sad smiling.
- Strong Bad greeted The King of Town with "Dear Oldie" in Halloween Fairstival.
Real World References
- The Poopsmith is dressed as the mailman from The Legend of Zelda series, except with images of The Cheat on the hat and belt, instead of a rabbit head.
- Piccadilly is a cafeteria chain.
