Front Facing
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Toon Category: Shorts |
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Strong Bad and The Cheat are planning to sell snowballs, only to find Homestar trying something new.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, Pom Pom, Tofu Homestar (YouTube version), The Cobblestone Kid (YouTube version)
Places: The Field
Date: Tuesday, February 13, 2024
Running Time: 3:10 (TV Time Toons Menu), 4:06 (YouTube, complete with Easter eggs)
Page Title: Take the Pool By the Horns!
Contents |
Transcript
{Open on Strong Bad and The Cheat walking in silhouette. "The Name Of This Cartoon Would Ruin It" fades in before the camera cuts in closer. The Cheat is carrying a bucket of snowballs.}
STRONG BAD: We're not selling snowballs, The Cheat. We're selling destiny! Our shot at the bigger times!
THE CHEAT: {Dismissive The Cheat noises sounding like "Yeah, yeah, yeah..."}
{Homestar enters the frame, facing the camera.}
HOMESTAR: Oh hey, Strong Bad, how's the day?
STRONG BAD: Ah! Nobin... whaddna... Uh-uh, explain!
HOMESTAR: What, this? I'm just practicing my front-facing.
STRONG BAD: {confused} Practicing your... front...?
HOMESTAR: Front-facing, yeah! You get to do it all the time.
{Strong Bad turns to smile at the camera with a "Ding!" sound effect before turning to Homestar again}
HOMESTAR: But now it's MY time to shine! Shine like a diam' in the rough.
STRONG BAD: {disturbed} Okay... I guess... but why do you sound kinda different?
HOMESTAR: 'Cuz I'm Front-Facing Homestar. You wouldn't expect Wenda to sound like Brambi, would you? So why would Front-Facing Homestar sound like Regular Homestar?
STRONG BAD: Who the crap are Wenda and Brambi?
HOMESTAR: Friends of mine. But, now that I think about it, they actually sound... pretty much the same, so it was a terrible example. But the point stands!
STRONG BAD: The Cheat, can you believe this nonsense?
THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: Wait, YOU want to try it?
THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises sounding like "Uh-huh!"}
HOMESTAR: Yeah, give it a shot, The Cheat.
THE CHEAT: {Turns left, making a The Cheat noise}
HOMESTAR: No.
THE CHEAT: {Turns right, making a The Cheat noise, then alternates left and right while Homestar talks}
HOMESTAR: You missed it. Almost. Slow down.
THE CHEAT:' {Alternates faster with angry The Cheat noises before jumping and facing away}
HOMESTAR: He-hey, Backwards-Facing The Cheat!
STRONG BAD: Alright, I'm done with this. Can I talk to Left-Facing Homestar?
HOMESTAR: Alright, hold on: Zambledom, zumbledom, turtleneck stew!
{Homestar jumps and spins as a purple swirl surrounds him, facing left after he lands}
HOMESTAR: Buh-ding! Here I am.
STRONG BAD: What the crap was that?!
HOMESTAR: I have to do a spell!
STRONG BAD: {groans} Listen. You're acting dumb enough that you just might fall for this. I got a business proposition for ya's.
HOMESTAR: Oh, you wanna talk to Right-Facing Homestar, but he's not around.
STRONG BAD: Dare I speak to... Back-Facing Homestar?
HOMESTAR: Oh, sure. {singsong} But you know what that means...
{Homestar turns away as music starts. A pair of buttocks bulges through his shirt as he moves.}
HOMESTAR: Every single butt dance! All of them at once! {Poses with the butt visible with the sound of rubber bouncing}
STRONG BAD: {screams} My horror! The eyes! Er, wait, I mean... Back to Front-Facing. FRONT-FACING!
{Homestar faces frontwards again}
HOMESTAR: Oh, hi again.
STRONG BAD: Wanna buy a snowball to the face? Three for a dolla'! And there's a chance that one has five doll {quietly} hairs inside.
HOMESTAR: Oh, Strong Bad. Left- and maybe Right-Facing Homestar might fall for some pedestrian shenanigans, but not me. I'm facing life head-on! I'm taking the pool by the horns!
STRONG BAD: Are you sure you're smarter than those other-facing Homestars?
HOMESTAR: Yeah, yeah. I've even got a way to goose your money-making scam.
STRONG BAD: {leans in} Oh yeah?
HOMESTAR: {quietly} Whisper-whesper...
STRONG BAD: {quietly} Say once...
HOMESTAR: {quietly} Mumble-bumble...
STRONG BAD: {quietly} Tell twice...
{fade to black, fade in to Strong Sad with the snowball bucket (which now has "Not the scam!" written on it) and Pom-Pom. Strong Sad is throwing and catching a snowball in one hand.}
STRONG SAD: I'm not selling snowballs, I'm selling destiny!
POM-POM: {bubbles}
STRONG SAD: And if you buy enough, {points, dropping the snowball} you too can become an official snowballstiny reseller!
POM-POM: {bubbles as a wad of cash emerges from him, hitting Strong Sad in the face}
{camera pans to Strong Bad sitting on a pile of cash with "Snowballstiny industries HQ" written on a cardboard sign in front of it, next to Front-Facing Homestar holding a coffee cup labelled "Hot Jones"}
STRONG BAD: {laughs} I never thought I'd say this, but thanks, Front-Facing Homestar! {holds up a Hot Jones cup of his own} Cheers to ya.
HOMESTAR: Here's beans in your eye. {splashes Hot Jones on his face before sputtering and spitting} Still haven't figured out how to drink with this thing on. I'm getting... pretty thirsty.
{cut to silhouette as the title "Front-Facing Homestar" appears}
Easter Eggs
- If you click on Homestar, it shows a main page
- If you click on Strong Bad, it shows The Cheat
- If you click on the word "Homestar" you see snowmen
- If you click on the dash you see stickers
Fun Facts
Trivia
- The toon has three different official names: "The Name of This Cartoon Would Ruin It" on the title card and the YouTube video, "Front-Facing" on the TV Time Toons Menu, and "Front-Facing Homestar" on the end card.
Inside References
- Back-Facing Homestar does the Butt Dance.
- Strong Bad and Homestar drink/attempt to drink Hot Jones.
Real-World References
- Strong Bad's mention of "doll-hairs" is a reference to the 1990s Nickelodeon T.V. series "The Adventures of Pete & Pete", where in the episode "Time Tunnel", Bill Korn bets Teddy Forzman one dollar that he won't go on a mechanical horse kiddie ride, and when Teddy rides it and demands his winnings, Bill tells him, "I didn't say dollar. I said doll-hair." "Well give me one doll-hair", Teddy responds. "C'mon, I want it!"
