Blue Laser Commander

From Homestar Runner Wiki

The Blue Laser commander (a.k.a. 'Blue Laser') is the evil mastermind behind Blue Laser, an evil terrorist-type organization. His sworn enemies are The Cheat Commandos. He has a high-pitched, screechy British accent. The only differences between his uniform and that of his lackeys are that his patches are red while the lackeys' patches are blue, and that he lacks a visor. He also has an eye patch that switches sides whenever he turns around, due to the fact that Cheat Commandos is just a badly animated 30 minute commercial disguised as a cartoon.

As the commanding force of an evil league of violence, the Commander naturally has several plans for world domination. In Cheat Commandos, he has his men build and guard a satellite dish, so that he could... do something (unfortunately, the Cheat Commandos destroyed the satellite dish with a devastating rocket that left a sole survivor).

He also had a plan to blow up the ocean, "Operation Ocean Blow", as well as a plan code-named "Operation Don't Crush Ourselves" in which he had several lackeys guard a cave so he could... umm... do... something very evil, I'm sure. Unfortunately, this operation also failed, again due to the Cheat Commandos.

His most deadly plot was in Cheat Commandos...O's when he faked a report of his base relocating to a secret desert, when in actuality, he had relocated to his Nana's backyard. His plan almost succeeded, but then Crackotage dropped the Cheat Commandos a box of Cheat Commandos O's, saving them from exhaustion.

His most recent plan was to buy cleaning products on Double Coupon Day at the Price Style supermarket, since he believed that the main reason he couldn't defeat the Cheat Commandos was mildew.

Blue Laser Commander is well disposed to extreme exclaimations of joy or frustration, to wit: "FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!", "Well that's JUST GREAT!!", "I just hate you SO MUCH!", "WHAT THE CRAP?!?!", and "Old ladies SUCK!"

• His design is a reference to Cobra Commander and various shows and games where the eyepatch switches sides.