Blue Laser
From Homestar Runner Wiki
- This article is about the organization. For the character, see Blue Laser Commander.
Blue Laser is an evil organization that is the sworn enemy of the Cheat Commandos. They plan to take over the planet using various schemes. Sometimes they are attacked by the Cheat Commandos, even if they are doing nothing wrong. They are a parody of COBRA, the principal evildoers of the G.I. Joe cartoons, upon which Cheat Commandos Adventures is based. This can be seen in the fact that Blue Laser:
- Has a Commander with a high squeaky voice and a partially obscured face
- Threatens to blow up the ocean (as Cobra threatened to do in one G.I. Joe episode)
- Succeeds only in blowing up its own minions
- Fires lasers of opposite color than the heroes (in this case, blue—the same color Cobra used in the G.I. Joe cartoon)
- Wears Cobra-inspired uniforms—blue bodysuits with their organization's logo positioned on the center of the chest
Blue Laser has a fairly high-tech operation, including a supercomputer and apparently a rather large laser tank fleet. Despite the possible technological edge that Blue Laser may have over the Cheat Commandos, they manage to fail horribly in everything they do.
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[edit] Evil Schemes
As an evil league of violence, Blue Laser naturally has several plans for world domination. Many of their plans also involve defeating the Cheat Commandos. These plans are never successful, as they are always foiled due to the efforts of the Cheat Commandos, as well as their own ineptitude.
- Cheat Commandos — Blue Laser builds and guards a radar dish, for unknown reasons. Reinforcements destroyed the radar dish with a devastating hit from his Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket that left a sole survivor. They also had a plan to blow up the ocean, "Operation Ocean Blow", as well as a plan code-named "Operation Don't Crush Ourselves", which seems to be a standing order not to cause friendly fire incidents due to ineptitude. This plan also failed when Firebert detonated a mountain using TNT, causing a rockslide to crush two Blue Laser minions.
- Cheat Commandos...O's — They relocated their secret desert headquarters to Blue Laser Commander's Nana's backyard, causing the Cheat Commandos to vainly search the desert for Blue Laser and suffer from exhaustion. This plan nearly succeeded, but when Crackotage dropped the Cheat Commandos a box of Cheat Commandos...O's sugar cereal, they were saved from exhaustion and were somehow led to the new hideout. Two minions were seen parachuting after a barbecue grill had exploded, parodying the way that no one would ever really die in a G.I. Joe cartoon.
- Shopping For Danger — Their plan was to buy cleaning products on Double Coupon Day at the Price Style supermarket. The Cheat Commandos speculated that with the money that Blue Laser could save from the double coupons, they could buy deadly weapons that could turn babies into gold or screw with the weather to make it snow at the beach, thus destroying beach volleyball. In actuality, Blue Laser bought the Grout Clean'r because they thought the main reason they couldn't defeat the Cheat Commandos was mildew.
- Commandos in the Classroom — The Blue Laser Commander asks Firebert to smoke some candy (a chocolate bar) with him. His "plan" fails when Silent Rip drops a smoke bomb and Firebert lays down some suppressive fire. Then, he almost gets hit by some surface-to-air antioxidant missiles, right before Reinforcements arrives.
- Let us give TANKS! — The "evil scheme," according to Gunhaver, was to kidnap the Cheat Commandos and force them to sit down to dinner and pleasant conversation. He attempted to stop the plan by ambushing the party through the turkey they were planning to eat, but in actuality, the Blue Laser Commander had just invited them over for Thanksgiving dinner. Gunhaver was also invited, but Silent Rip didn't give him the invitation because he was afraid that he would do something exactly like he did. The Cheat Commandos won by default, but to add certainty to it, Gunhaver had set up a nuclear device in the oven, which detonated and blew up the Blue Laser Cottage.
- An Important Rap Song — The Blue Laser Commander's "scheme" somehow involved him taking off his pants. Gunhaver told him to put his pants back on. The commander then questioned how Gunhaver could refer to the garment as pants.
- The Next Epi-Snowed — The Blue Laser Commander creates a team of Super Snowldiers out of snow to destroy the Cheat Commandos. Due to Gunhaver's inability to stay in character throughout this episode, it initially appears the plan may be successful. However, Agent Chimendez comes to the aid of the Cheat Commandos, allowing them to defeat the Snowldiers.
- Fan Costumes '08 — In a Halloween special, Blue Laser Commander tries to trick-or-treat at Fort Knox in an attempt to make them give him all their gold. He is thwarted when he discovers that the receptionist has only a bowl of Smarties on hand, and reduced to insulting her face and kitten sweater.
- Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 1 — In part one of the two-part episode, the Blue Laser Commander is over at the Cheat Commandos HQ playing "televised video games". He was then arrested by Flashfight and put in a cell next to a starving Reynold.
- Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 2 — After being freed from prison by the ex-Cheat Commandos and the Topplegangers, Blue Laser Commander and a turncoat Reynold put into action a plan to flood amusement parks with tickets, thus causing skeeball prices to skyrocket. Without worthless plastic trinkets to buy, kids would have no choice but to join evil organisations.
[edit] Members
- Blue Laser Commander
- Blue Laser Minions
- Blue Laser Babies
- Blue Laser Commander's Nana (possibly)
- New Bad Guy Girl Character
- Reynold AKA Scrawnjob
[edit] Remarks
- Actual Blue Lasers are currently used for certain medical applications (e.g. corrective eye surgery), and are used prominently in the Blu-ray Disc Association's high capacity Blu-Ray Disc format.
[edit] Appearances
- Debut: Cheat Commandos
- Cheat Commandos...O's
- Shopping For Danger
- Commandos in the Classroom
- Let us give TANKS!
- The Next Epi-Snowed
- Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 1
- Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 2
