Moist

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Moist is an adjective meaning moderately or slightly wet or damp. Evidence indicates that Coach Z has an atypical affinity for things that are moist, not least of which being his alter-ego, Damp Towel Man's, job (collecting damp towels) and catch phrase ("Moist molecules!"). Aside from this, The Brothers Chaps have found some unique and unexpected ways to employ this word.

Coach Z's fondness for things that are moist

• Halloween Fairstival — Strong Bad mocks Coach Z's "Haunted Locka-room" and asks, "You got anything that's not just gross and moist?"
• DNA Evidence — Coach Z recalls that, as Damp Towel Man, he discovered an especially-attractive damp towel and exclaimed, "Moist molecules! A green-stained damp towel! The rarest and most powerful kind!" Also, in an Easter egg, a Strong Badman cover page depicts a comic book version of Damp Towel Man wearing a presumably-damp towel with a caption reading "Moist molecules!!"
• Email shapeshifter — Coach Z uses a moistened hundred dollar bill to purchase a Lamborghini hot tub from Bubs.
• On Break — Coach Z describes the smells coming from his Drive-Thru Whale costume as being "Damp, moist, kimchi!"

Unusual usages

• Email funny — Strong Bad asks The Cheat if he's going to use a moist chamois (pronounced as "sham-oyce") to clean up some ketchup.
• Cheat Commandos (DVD commentary) — Homestar Runner asks Mike Chapman if the inside of a television set is moist.
• Email old comics — The Castlefunnies comic strip tries to creep back into the mainstream by releasing the King Castlefunny Pencil Moistener in response to the short-lived Dry Pencil Scare of '47.
• Thy Dungeonman 3 — Putting on the glove results in the response, "Ye slips the unfortunately moist flask getting glove onto thy hand."
• Email mini-golf — Strong Bad mentions a "fun-time emporium" called Waterslide Dan's MoistWorld.
• Somber Vacation — Strong Bad believed that Strong Sad was in a barrel "moistening" himself (Strong Sad insists it's called "The Dampening".)
• The Baloneyman — The page title of the toon, presumably describing Bubs's baloney sandwiches, reads "Moist and Hot on a Hot, Moist Day!"
• Homestar Ruiner — Coach Z describes Homestar's locker as "a moist one".
• Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad describes Strong Badian currency (quesos) as "the most moist and juicy of all barely legal tender".
• 8-Bit Is Enough — Homestar says that Coach Z bet him "a moist Benjamin" that he (Homestar) couldn't catch a quarter in his mouth.
• Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 1 — While playing an unknown video game, Blue Laser Commander exclaims, "What kind of power-up is 'moist beam'?!"
• Coach Z pukes in dude's toupee — The description for this YouTube video indicates that Coach Z "pukemakes most moistly".