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{{ashortsnav}}
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{{toonnav|Shorts|doughnutstand|4 Gregs|Strong Bad Sings}}
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[[Image:Doughnut.png|thumb|"But, do you dough-''not'' want one?"]]
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[[Image:Doughnut.png|thumb|"Do you dough-not want one?"]]
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Homestar Runner opens his own [[doughnut]]<!--not spelled donut-->  stand, sparking a fierce marketing war between himself and Bubs.
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Homestar Runner opens his own [[doughnut]] stand, sparking a fierce marketing war between himself and Bubs.
'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Marzipan}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{film|The King of Town}}, {{film|Strong Bad}}
'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Marzipan}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{film|The King of Town}}, {{film|Strong Bad}}
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'''Running Time:''' 3:56
'''Running Time:''' 3:56
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'''Page Title:''' Hey There, Doughnut<!--don't change the spelling--> Rush!
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'''Page Title:''' Hey There, Doughnut Rush!
==Transcript==
==Transcript==
''{Homestar is seen cutting out dough rings in Marzipan's Kitchen. Marzipan enters}''
''{Homestar is seen cutting out dough rings in Marzipan's Kitchen. Marzipan enters}''
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'''MARZIPAN:''' Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade doughnuts<!--donut change the spelling--> for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup?
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'''MARZIPAN:''' Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade doughnuts for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, no. No way. Um, no way. You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the doughnut<!--donut change the spelling, ya'll--> factory!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, no. No way. Um, no way. You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the doughnut factory!
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{looking annoyed}'' No, since when?
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{looking annoyed}'' No, since when?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why, just last night! ''{Clouds fill the screen, then recede to the edges. A scene depicting Homestar's dream is shown. He is seen wearing a shirt with the Mexican flag on it, standing next to a high-jumping pit. He has only one leg} {voiceover}'' I dreamt that I was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why, just last night! ''{Clouds fill the screen, then recede to the edges. A scene depicting Homestar's dream is shown. He is seen wearing a shirt with the Mexican flag on it, standing next to a high-jumping pit. He has only one leg}'' I dreamt that I was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!
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'''MARZIPAN:''' And... that made you want to start a doughnut<!--do not change the spelling of doughnut--> shop?
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'''MARZIPAN:''' And...that made you want to start a doughnut shop?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine. Could you pass me that recipe?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine. Could you pass me that recipe?
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'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Sighs}'' I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you.
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Sighs}'' I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you.
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''{Cut to The Field. Homestar is in a makeshift doughnut<!--do not change the spelling of doughnut--> stand formed from a large [[cardboard box]] marked "Do-Nots" with a window cut out of it. A fat fryer can be seen bubbling in the back.}''
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''{Cut to The Field. Homestar is in a makeshift doughnut stand formed from a large [[cardboard box]] marked "Do-Nots" with a window cut out of it. A fat fryer can be seen bubbling in the back.}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I honestly wonder how many million doughnuts<!--for Pete's sake, do not change the spelling of doughnut--> I'll sell on my first day. Three? Four? Eight? I've gotta be ready for the 3:09 p.m. doughnut<!--we understand you want to change the spelling to donut, but DOnut--> rush, you know? Ooh, here it comes.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I honestly wonder how many million doughnuts I'll sell on my first day. Three? Four? Eight? I've gotta be ready for the 3:09 p.m. doughnut rush, you know? Ooh, here it comes.
''{Bubs, with a red face and an exceptionally furious expression, enters from the right. As he speaks, cartoon smoke clouds emit from his head.}''
''{Bubs, with a red face and an exceptionally furious expression, enters from the right. As he speaks, cartoon smoke clouds emit from his head.}''
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'''BUBS:''' ''{with forced restraint}'' Well, hello, Homestar!
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'''BUBS:''' ''{with forced restraint}'' Well, hello, Hooomestar!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey there, doughnut<!--spelled correctly--> rush. What can I get for you?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey there, doughnut rush. What can I get for you?
'''BUBS:''' ''{continuing his forced restraint}'' It's really great to very see you, Homestar!
'''BUBS:''' ''{continuing his forced restraint}'' It's really great to very see you, Homestar!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{nervous}'' Umm... it's good to see you, too, I guess.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{nervous}'' Uhhm... it's good to see you, too, I guess.
''{As Bubs says the following, we cut to a shot revealing that Homestar's stand is right next to Bubs', facing it, and that Homestar's legs are outlined under the window in dotted lines}''  
''{As Bubs says the following, we cut to a shot revealing that Homestar's stand is right next to Bubs', facing it, and that Homestar's legs are outlined under the window in dotted lines}''  
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''{cut back to Homestar and Bubs}''
''{cut back to Homestar and Bubs}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell-Radisson-Texas Instruments-NASA!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell-Raddisson-Texas Instruments-NASA!
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'''BUBS:''' Yes! That is a really ''{holding out his right fist}'' outstanding ideeeaaaa! ''{places his fist down}''
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'''BUBS:''' Yes. That is a really outstanding ideeeaaaa!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight?
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''{as Bubs speaks, his face slowly returns to its normal blue color}''
''{as Bubs speaks, his face slowly returns to its normal blue color}''
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'''BUBS:''' ''{slightly calmer}'' What do you think, man?! You opened up a competing doughnut<!--not spelled as donut--> place right across the street from me!
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'''BUBS:''' ''{slightly calmer}'' What do you think, man?! You opened up a competing doughnut place right across the street from me!
''{zooms out to the gap between the stores. Note that there is no street, but a field}''
''{zooms out to the gap between the stores. Note that there is no street, but a field}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' The street?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{examining the grass between the two stands}'' The street?
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''{Bubs and Homestar both examine the grass between the two stands}''  
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'''BUBS:''' Right across the way from me!
'''BUBS:''' Right across the way from me!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage.
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''{Cut to a close-up of Bubs, with his Concession Stand visible in the background with a sign "Why not Donuts<!--spelled as donuts here-->?" on the original sign.}''
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''{Cut to a close-up of Bubs, with his Concession Stand visible in the background with a sign "Why not Donuts?" on the original sign.}''
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'''BUBS:''' That was two hours ago. ''{changes to his normal expression, now speaking normally}'' Now I'm in the doughnut<!--here it is spelled as doughnut--> bidness. ''{with a straight line eyebrow}'' How's that coverage working out for you, by the way?
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'''BUBS:''' That was two hours ago. ''{changes to his normal expression, now speaking normally}'' Now I'm in the doughnut bidness. How's that coverage working out for you, by the way?
''{Cut back to the two and the box.}''
''{Cut back to the two and the box.}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a big stack of paperwork}'' Great so far!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a big stack of paperwork}'' Great so far!
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'''BUBS:''' ''{back to an angry face}'' I gotta get ready for the big 3:09 p.m. doughnut<!--seriously, it is spelled doughnut. Do not change the spelling--> rush. When next we meet, 'twill be on the doughnut<!--not to be changed to donut--> field of battle! ''{Cut to a silhouette of the scene. Bubs marches to his stand imitating a military drum cadence}'' Dubba dup dup dup, dubba dup dup dup, dubba dup dup da daa ba dup dup dup!
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'''BUBS:''' I gotta get ready for the big 3:09 p.m. doughnut rush. When next we meet, 'twill be on the doughnut field of battle! ''{Cut to a silhouette of the scene. Bubs marches to his stand imitating a military drum cadence}'' Dubba dup dup dup, dubba dup dup dup, dubba dup dup dubbaa da dup dup dup!
''{Cut to a shot of a clock that strikes 3:09. Cut back to a shot of the two stands. The King Of Town appears in a puff of smoke.}''
''{Cut to a shot of a clock that strikes 3:09. Cut back to a shot of the two stands. The King Of Town appears in a puff of smoke.}''
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'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oof! All right, gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down. I need fried dough so bad it hurts! According to the data I got back from Taco Bell-NASA, ''{places a hefty stack of paperwork on the ground}'' we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake. Now, commence marketing bombardment!
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'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oof! All right gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down. I need fried dough so bad it hurts! According to the data I got back from Taco Bell-NASA ''{places a hefty stack of paperwork on the ground}'', we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake. Now, commence marketing bombardment!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Mine's is homemade! ''{holds up a spoon with some doughnut batter and a few hairs on it}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Mine's is homemade! ''{holds up a spoon with some doughnut batter and a few hairs on it}''
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'''BUBS:''' Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print "From Homemade" on the prepackaged package. ''{holds up a package of his doughnuts<!--This IS spelled correctly--> that says "FROM HOMEMÁDE!"}''
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'''BUBS:''' Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print "From Homemade" on the prepackaged package. ''{holds up a package of his doughnuts that says "FROM HOMEMÁDE!"}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I've got grit, gumption, and an adorable speech ''{exaggerating his usual speech impediment}'' impootaboot.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I've got grit, gumption, and an adorable speech ''{exaggerating his usual speech impediment}'' impootaboot.
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''{The King of Town pops his crown up in surprise and turns to see an angry Bubs putting his right arm in a curl.}''
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'''BUBS:''' My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast.
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'''BUBS:''' My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Available in 57 different varieties!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Available in 57 different varieties!
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'''BUBS:''' One flavor ''{the word "regular" appears above his head}'', over a hundred different names for it! ''{various names that all are variations of "regular" appear around Bubs}''
'''BUBS:''' One flavor ''{the word "regular" appears above his head}'', over a hundred different names for it! ''{various names that all are variations of "regular" appear around Bubs}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a newspaper}'' Marzipan raves "Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!"
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a newspaper}'' Marzipan raves "Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!"
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'''BUBS:''' ''{cut to a shot of a box of toothpaste labeled "Bubs' Donuts<!--sic-->!"; as he says each description, it appears onscreen}'' Fights Cavities! Cleans Teeth! ''{A cartoon Bubs appears in the bottom right corner, bearing the following message in a speech bubble}'' The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements.
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'''BUBS:''' ''{cut to a shot of a box of toothpaste labeled "Bubs' Donuts!"; as he says each descriptions, it appears onscreen}'' Fights cavities! Cleans Teeth! ''{A cartoon Bubs appears in the bottom right corner, bearing the following message in a speech bubble}'' The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements.
'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' All right, all right, all right. You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision.
'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' All right, all right, all right. You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision.
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'''BUBS:''' ''{sticks his right arm out in alarm}'' Health Inspector! Cheese it, everyone!
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'''BUBS:''' Health Inspector! Cheese it, everyone!
''{Bubs closes his stand}''
''{Bubs closes his stand}''
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''{Strong Bad, in silhouette, is seen coming up and walks towards Homestar with a clipboard in his hand.}''
''{Strong Bad, in silhouette, is seen coming up and walks towards Homestar with a clipboard in his hand.}''
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey potential customer, would you like several million doughnuts<!--donut change to donut-->?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey potential customer, would you like several million doughnuts?
'''STRONG BAD:''' No. I don't want ''one''.
'''STRONG BAD:''' No. I don't want ''one''.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But do you dough-''not'' want one? Hmmm?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But do you dough-''not'' want one? Hmmm?
'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down.  Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back.
'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down.  Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back.
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== Fun Facts ==
== Fun Facts ==
===Explanations===
===Explanations===
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*The toon's title is a pun on the "{{w|Golden Rule}}", which is often expressed as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
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* The toon's title is a pun on the [[Wikipedia:Ethic of reciprocity|ethic of reciprocity]], commonly known as the "Golden Rule," which is often expressed as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
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*Bubs's line about being able to legally say his doughnuts are "from Homemade" is a reference to an [[Snopes:business/genius/usa.asp|urban legend]] in which Japan supposedly renamed one of its cities to "Usa" in order to claim that its products were "Made in USA".
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*The music Bubs hums at the end is a piece called "Mysterioso Pizzicato" and is commonly used as stock music for sneaking characters or villains.
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===Trivia===
===Trivia===
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| style="color:#999; font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.25em; text-align:center;" | Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!
| style="color:#999; font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.25em; text-align:center;" | Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!
|-
|-
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| style="font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.1em;" | FCUSA - The Marzipan was stunned<br>today when she woke to find a totally<br>legit donut <!--[sic]-->  enterprise operating out<br>of her own dang kitchen. Mexican<br>high jumper Homestar Garcia Colon<br>was unavailable for comment but<br>French long jumper Chateau 'Octo'<br>Etoile broke out the ol' soft shoe.  
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| style="font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.1em;" | FCUSA - The Marzipan was stunned<br>today when she woke to find a totally<br>legit donut enterprise operating out<br>of her own dang kitchen. Mexican<br>high jumper Homestar Garcia Colon<br>was unavailable for comment but<br>French long jumper Chateau 'Octo'<br>Etoile broke out the ol' soft shoe.  
|}
|}
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*At the end of the toon, if you remove Bubs' silhouette using a decompiler, you can see that he is wearing [[the Thnikkaman|The Thnikkaman's]] "tH".
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*The different names for Bubs's donut flavor are:
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<table width="25%"><autocolumn cols="3" width="33%">
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:*regular
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:*commonplace
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:*ordinary
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:*plain
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:*customary
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:*standard
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:*usual
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:*typical
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:*orthodox
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:*lawful
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:*sanctio[{{--}}]
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:*[{{--}}]lent
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:*bona[{{--}}]
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:*[{{--}}]oved
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:*run[{{--}}]
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:*[{{--}}]ing
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:*le[{{--}}]
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</autocolumn></table>
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*Removing Bubs' silhouette at the end of the toon with a Flash decompiler reveals that he's wearing [[The Thnikkaman]]'s "tH".
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*The [[YouTube]] description for this toon is "Homestar Runner opens his very own doughnut stand."
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===Remarks===
===Remarks===
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*[[Trivia Time]] can be seen in the Kitchen.
 
*In Marzipan's kitchen, the sink seen in [[Where's The Cheat?]] has disappeared.
*In Marzipan's kitchen, the sink seen in [[Where's The Cheat?]] has disappeared.
*When Bubs warns that the health inspector is coming, he looks and points in a direction different from the one from which Strong Bad (as a health inspector) comes.
*When Bubs warns that the health inspector is coming, he looks and points in a direction different from the one from which Strong Bad (as a health inspector) comes.
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*[[Nationality Confusion|Though he claims]] he dreamt he was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs, Homestar is seen with a [[Spanish|Mexican flag]] on his shirt with one leg in front of the high jump. ''(See Real-World References)'' ''(See Inside References)''
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*Though he dreamt he was a French long-jump champion, Homestar is seen with a [[Spanish|Mexican flag]] on his shirt. ''(See Real-World References)'' ''(See Inside References)''
*As evidenced by the mat behind him, Homestar appeared to be in a high-jump competition, not a long-jump.
*As evidenced by the mat behind him, Homestar appeared to be in a high-jump competition, not a long-jump.
*Bubs's larger eye changes color depending on the color of his skin.
*Bubs's larger eye changes color depending on the color of his skin.
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*The King of Town says "I've come to my decision" at the 3 minute 9 second mark of the cartoon, taking "the 3:09 doughnut rush" to new levels.
 
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*The King of Town says he'll need 3 to 8 million doughnuts to maintain his caloric intake, which would be 780 million to 2.08 billion calories, if Homestar's and Bubs's offerings are similar to a Dunkin' Donuts regular glazed doughnut (260 calories).
 
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===Goofs===
 
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[[Image:Bubs_head_fade_glitch.png|thumb|I'm delighted you've decided to set up a solid color line about ten feet away from me!]]
 
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* Homestar's "secret recipe" is not on the table before he has his dream flashback.
 
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* A line on Bubs's face delays changing color when he calms down after arguing with Homestar.
 
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* As Strong Bad enters the scene in a silhouette, the left side of Homestar's doughnut stand is not completely touching the ground.
 
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**As well, a piece of the yellow background is visible underneath the bottom-right corner of Bubs' Concession Stand, as if it were not level on the ground.
 
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* When closing his eyes while speaking to Strong Bad, a part of Homestar's eye does not disappear, resulting in a small black spot on his forehead.
 
===Inside References===
===Inside References===
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*Homestar claims he was a [[French]] long-jump champion.  The French name in the newspaper, "Chateau Etoile", roughly means "Home<!-- Not necessarily "castle". --> Star". ''(See Remarks)''
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*Homestar claims he was a [[French]] long-jump champion.  The French name in the newspaper, "Chateau Etoile" roughly means "Home<!-- Not necessarily "castle". --> Star". ''(See Remarks)''
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*Homestar writes his secret recipe on [[toilet paper]].
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*[[Trivia Time]] is shown in the kitchen.<!--not listed on character list-->
*Strong Bad [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiles]] in this short.
*Strong Bad [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiles]] in this short.
*Strong Bad pulls the F slip out of [[hammerspace]].
*Strong Bad pulls the F slip out of [[hammerspace]].
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*The song played when Bubs and Homestar "fight over" the King of Town is also played during [[No Hands on Deck!]].
*The song played when Bubs and Homestar "fight over" the King of Town is also played during [[No Hands on Deck!]].
*The fanfare playing during Homestar's dream sequence is the last half of the 2007 [[Strong Badathlon]]'s fanfare.
*The fanfare playing during Homestar's dream sequence is the last half of the 2007 [[Strong Badathlon]]'s fanfare.
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*The newspaper mentions Marzipan's "[[Own Dang X|own dang]] kitchen".
 
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*Bubs is said to sell [[Questionable Services|questionable]] medical coverage.
 
===Real-World References===
===Real-World References===
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*Homestar hums the theme to {{w|Inspector Gadget}}.
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* Homestar hums the theme to [[Wikipedia:Inspector Gadget|Inspector Gadget]].
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*The flag that Homestar wears in his dream is the [[Wikipedia:Flag of Mexico|flag of Mexico]].
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* The flag that Homestar wears in his dream is the [[Wikipedia:Flag of Mexico|flag of Mexico]].
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*The companies that Homestar lists as a conglomerate are real companies:
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* Several of the companies that Homestar lists as a conglomerate are real companies:
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**[[KFC]] and {{w|Taco Bell}} are restaurants owned by {{w|Yum! Brands}} that often share a building.
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** [[Wikipedia:KFC|KFC]] and [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]] are restaurants owned by [[Wikipedia: Yum! Brands|Yum! Brands]].
-
**[[Wikipedia:Radisson Hotels|Radisson]] is a hotel chain owned by {{w|Carlson Companies}}.
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** [[Wikipedia:Radisson Hotels|Radisson]] is a hotel chain owned by [[Wikipedia:Carlson Companies|Carlson Companies]].
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**[[Texas Instruments]] is a semiconductor and electronics maker.
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** [[Wikipedia:Texas Instruments|Texas Instruments]] is a semiconductor and electronics maker.
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**{{w|NASA}} is the United States space agency, not part of a conglomerate.
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**[[Wikipedia: NASA|NASA]] is the United States space agency, not part of a conglomerate.
 +
*Bubs's line about being able to legally say his doughnuts are "from Homemade" is a reference to an [http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/usa.asp urban legend] in which Japan supposedly renamed one of its cities to "Usa" in order to claim that its products were "Made in USA".
*Homestar's line about "57 different varieties" refers to the slogan of the American condiment company [[Wikipedia:H. J. Heinz Company|Heinz]].
*Homestar's line about "57 different varieties" refers to the slogan of the American condiment company [[Wikipedia:H. J. Heinz Company|Heinz]].
-
 
+
*The music Bubs hums at the end is a piece called "Mysterioso Pizzicato" and is commonly used as stock music for sneaking characters or villains.
-
==YouTube Version==
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*The audio quality is significantly higher than the Flash version.
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==External Links==
==External Links==
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{{nextlinks|{{HR||||}}||15231|youtube=uAzzoGCYw2U|old=doughnutstand}}
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{{extlinks|doughnutstand|15231}}
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[[Category:Shorts]]
[[Category:Shorts]]

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