Editing Donut Unto Others
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- | {{ | + | {{toonnav|Shorts|doughnutstand|4 Gregs|Strong Bad Sings}} |
- | [[Image:Doughnut.png|thumb|" | + | [[Image:Doughnut.png|thumb|"Do you dough-not want one?"]] |
- | Homestar Runner opens his own [[doughnut]] | + | Homestar Runner opens his own [[doughnut]] stand, sparking a fierce marketing war between himself and Bubs. |
'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Marzipan}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{film|The King of Town}}, {{film|Strong Bad}} | '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Homestar Runner}}, {{film|Marzipan}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{film|The King of Town}}, {{film|Strong Bad}} | ||
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'''Running Time:''' 3:56 | '''Running Time:''' 3:56 | ||
- | '''Page Title:''' Hey There, Doughnut | + | '''Page Title:''' Hey There, Doughnut Rush! |
==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
''{Homestar is seen cutting out dough rings in Marzipan's Kitchen. Marzipan enters}'' | ''{Homestar is seen cutting out dough rings in Marzipan's Kitchen. Marzipan enters}'' | ||
- | '''MARZIPAN:''' Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade doughnuts | + | '''MARZIPAN:''' Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade doughnuts for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup? |
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, no. No way. Um, no way. You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the doughnut | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, no. No way. Um, no way. You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the doughnut factory! |
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{looking annoyed}'' No, since when? | '''MARZIPAN:''' ''{looking annoyed}'' No, since when? | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why, just last night! ''{Clouds fill the screen, then recede to the edges. A scene depicting Homestar's dream is shown. He is seen wearing a shirt with the Mexican flag on it, standing next to a high-jumping pit. He has only one leg | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Why, just last night! ''{Clouds fill the screen, then recede to the edges. A scene depicting Homestar's dream is shown. He is seen wearing a shirt with the Mexican flag on it, standing next to a high-jumping pit. He has only one leg}'' I dreamt that I was a French long-jump champion with eight wooden legs! |
- | '''MARZIPAN:''' And... that made you want to start a doughnut | + | '''MARZIPAN:''' And...that made you want to start a doughnut shop? |
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine. Could you pass me that recipe? | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yes sir! Like I said, it's a boyhood dream of mine. Could you pass me that recipe? | ||
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'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Sighs}'' I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you. | '''MARZIPAN:''' ''{Sighs}'' I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you. | ||
- | ''{Cut to The Field. Homestar is in a makeshift doughnut | + | ''{Cut to The Field. Homestar is in a makeshift doughnut stand formed from a large [[cardboard box]] marked "Do-Nots" with a window cut out of it. A fat fryer can be seen bubbling in the back.}'' |
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I honestly wonder how many million doughnuts | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I honestly wonder how many million doughnuts I'll sell on my first day. Three? Four? Eight? I've gotta be ready for the 3:09 p.m. doughnut rush, you know? Ooh, here it comes. |
''{Bubs, with a red face and an exceptionally furious expression, enters from the right. As he speaks, cartoon smoke clouds emit from his head.}'' | ''{Bubs, with a red face and an exceptionally furious expression, enters from the right. As he speaks, cartoon smoke clouds emit from his head.}'' | ||
- | '''BUBS:''' ''{with forced restraint}'' Well, hello, | + | '''BUBS:''' ''{with forced restraint}'' Well, hello, Hooomestar! |
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey there, doughnut | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey there, doughnut rush. What can I get for you? |
'''BUBS:''' ''{continuing his forced restraint}'' It's really great to very see you, Homestar! | '''BUBS:''' ''{continuing his forced restraint}'' It's really great to very see you, Homestar! | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{nervous}'' | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{nervous}'' Uhhm... it's good to see you, too, I guess. |
''{As Bubs says the following, we cut to a shot revealing that Homestar's stand is right next to Bubs', facing it, and that Homestar's legs are outlined under the window in dotted lines}'' | ''{As Bubs says the following, we cut to a shot revealing that Homestar's stand is right next to Bubs', facing it, and that Homestar's legs are outlined under the window in dotted lines}'' | ||
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''{cut back to Homestar and Bubs}'' | ''{cut back to Homestar and Bubs}'' | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell- | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC-Taco Bell-Raddisson-Texas Instruments-NASA! |
- | '''BUBS:''' Yes | + | '''BUBS:''' Yes. That is a really outstanding ideeeaaaa! |
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight? | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Um, Bubs? Are we in a fight? | ||
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''{as Bubs speaks, his face slowly returns to its normal blue color}'' | ''{as Bubs speaks, his face slowly returns to its normal blue color}'' | ||
- | '''BUBS:''' ''{slightly calmer}'' What do you think, man?! You opened up a competing doughnut | + | '''BUBS:''' ''{slightly calmer}'' What do you think, man?! You opened up a competing doughnut place right across the street from me! |
''{zooms out to the gap between the stores. Note that there is no street, but a field}'' | ''{zooms out to the gap between the stores. Note that there is no street, but a field}'' | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{examining the grass between the two stands}'' The street? |
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- | ''{ | + | |
'''BUBS:''' Right across the way from me! | '''BUBS:''' Right across the way from me! | ||
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage. | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage. | ||
- | ''{Cut to a close-up of Bubs, with his Concession Stand visible in the background with a sign "Why not Donuts | + | ''{Cut to a close-up of Bubs, with his Concession Stand visible in the background with a sign "Why not Donuts?" on the original sign.}'' |
- | '''BUBS:''' That was two hours ago. ''{changes to his normal expression, now speaking normally}'' Now I'm in the doughnut | + | '''BUBS:''' That was two hours ago. ''{changes to his normal expression, now speaking normally}'' Now I'm in the doughnut bidness. How's that coverage working out for you, by the way? |
''{Cut back to the two and the box.}'' | ''{Cut back to the two and the box.}'' | ||
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a big stack of paperwork}'' Great so far! | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a big stack of paperwork}'' Great so far! | ||
- | '''BUBS:''' | + | '''BUBS:''' I gotta get ready for the big 3:09 p.m. doughnut rush. When next we meet, 'twill be on the doughnut field of battle! ''{Cut to a silhouette of the scene. Bubs marches to his stand imitating a military drum cadence}'' Dubba dup dup dup, dubba dup dup dup, dubba dup dup dubbaa da dup dup dup! |
''{Cut to a shot of a clock that strikes 3:09. Cut back to a shot of the two stands. The King Of Town appears in a puff of smoke.}'' | ''{Cut to a shot of a clock that strikes 3:09. Cut back to a shot of the two stands. The King Of Town appears in a puff of smoke.}'' | ||
- | '''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oof! All right | + | '''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Oof! All right gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down. I need fried dough so bad it hurts! According to the data I got back from Taco Bell-NASA ''{places a hefty stack of paperwork on the ground}'', we're gonna need in the 3 to 8 million range to maintain my caloric intake. Now, commence marketing bombardment! |
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Mine's is homemade! ''{holds up a spoon with some doughnut batter and a few hairs on it}'' | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Mine's is homemade! ''{holds up a spoon with some doughnut batter and a few hairs on it}'' | ||
- | '''BUBS:''' Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print "From Homemade" on the prepackaged package. ''{holds up a package of his doughnuts | + | '''BUBS:''' Mine's is shipped from a 3rd world country named Homemáde, so I can legally print "From Homemade" on the prepackaged package. ''{holds up a package of his doughnuts that says "FROM HOMEMÁDE!"}'' |
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I've got grit, gumption, and an adorable speech ''{exaggerating his usual speech impediment}'' impootaboot. | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I've got grit, gumption, and an adorable speech ''{exaggerating his usual speech impediment}'' impootaboot. | ||
- | + | '''BUBS:''' My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast. | |
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- | '''BUBS:''' My name's Bubs, I talk hard and fast. | + | |
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Available in 57 different varieties! | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Available in 57 different varieties! | ||
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'''BUBS:''' One flavor ''{the word "regular" appears above his head}'', over a hundred different names for it! ''{various names that all are variations of "regular" appear around Bubs}'' | '''BUBS:''' One flavor ''{the word "regular" appears above his head}'', over a hundred different names for it! ''{various names that all are variations of "regular" appear around Bubs}'' | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a newspaper}'' Marzipan raves "Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!" | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{holds up a newspaper}'' Marzipan raves "Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!" |
- | '''BUBS:''' ''{cut to a shot of a box of toothpaste labeled "Bubs' Donuts | + | '''BUBS:''' ''{cut to a shot of a box of toothpaste labeled "Bubs' Donuts!"; as he says each descriptions, it appears onscreen}'' Fights cavities! Cleans Teeth! ''{A cartoon Bubs appears in the bottom right corner, bearing the following message in a speech bubble}'' The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statements. |
'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' All right, all right, all right. You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision. | '''THE KING OF TOWN:''' All right, all right, all right. You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision. | ||
- | '''BUBS:' | + | '''BUBS:''' Health Inspector! Cheese it, everyone! |
''{Bubs closes his stand}'' | ''{Bubs closes his stand}'' | ||
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''{Strong Bad, in silhouette, is seen coming up and walks towards Homestar with a clipboard in his hand.}'' | ''{Strong Bad, in silhouette, is seen coming up and walks towards Homestar with a clipboard in his hand.}'' | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey potential customer, would you like several million doughnuts | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hey potential customer, would you like several million doughnuts? |
'''STRONG BAD:''' No. I don't want ''one''. | '''STRONG BAD:''' No. I don't want ''one''. | ||
- | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But do you dough-''not'' want one? Hmmm? | + | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' But do you dough-''not'' want one? Hmmm? |
'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down. Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back. | '''STRONG BAD:''' I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down. Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back. | ||
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== Fun Facts == | == Fun Facts == | ||
===Explanations=== | ===Explanations=== | ||
- | *The toon's title is a pun on the " | + | * The toon's title is a pun on the [[Wikipedia:Ethic of reciprocity|ethic of reciprocity]], commonly known as the "Golden Rule," which is often expressed as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." |
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===Trivia=== | ===Trivia=== | ||
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| style="color:#999; font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.25em; text-align:center;" | Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you! | | style="color:#999; font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.25em; text-align:center;" | Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you! | ||
|- | |- | ||
- | | style="font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.1em;" | FCUSA - The Marzipan was stunned<br>today when she woke to find a totally<br>legit donut | + | | style="font-family:Times New Roman,serif; font-size:1.1em;" | FCUSA - The Marzipan was stunned<br>today when she woke to find a totally<br>legit donut enterprise operating out<br>of her own dang kitchen. Mexican<br>high jumper Homestar Garcia Colon<br>was unavailable for comment but<br>French long jumper Chateau 'Octo'<br>Etoile broke out the ol' soft shoe. |
|} | |} | ||
- | + | *At the end of the toon, if you remove Bubs' silhouette using a decompiler, you can see that he is wearing [[the Thnikkaman|The Thnikkaman's]] "tH". | |
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===Remarks=== | ===Remarks=== | ||
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*In Marzipan's kitchen, the sink seen in [[Where's The Cheat?]] has disappeared. | *In Marzipan's kitchen, the sink seen in [[Where's The Cheat?]] has disappeared. | ||
*When Bubs warns that the health inspector is coming, he looks and points in a direction different from the one from which Strong Bad (as a health inspector) comes. | *When Bubs warns that the health inspector is coming, he looks and points in a direction different from the one from which Strong Bad (as a health inspector) comes. | ||
- | * | + | *Though he dreamt he was a French long-jump champion, Homestar is seen with a [[Spanish|Mexican flag]] on his shirt. ''(See Real-World References)'' ''(See Inside References)'' |
*As evidenced by the mat behind him, Homestar appeared to be in a high-jump competition, not a long-jump. | *As evidenced by the mat behind him, Homestar appeared to be in a high-jump competition, not a long-jump. | ||
*Bubs's larger eye changes color depending on the color of his skin. | *Bubs's larger eye changes color depending on the color of his skin. | ||
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===Inside References=== | ===Inside References=== | ||
- | *Homestar claims he was a [[French]] long-jump champion. The French name in the newspaper, "Chateau Etoile" | + | *Homestar claims he was a [[French]] long-jump champion. The French name in the newspaper, "Chateau Etoile" roughly means "Home<!-- Not necessarily "castle". --> Star". ''(See Remarks)'' |
- | * | + | *[[Trivia Time]] is shown in the kitchen.<!--not listed on character list--> |
*Strong Bad [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiles]] in this short. | *Strong Bad [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiles]] in this short. | ||
*Strong Bad pulls the F slip out of [[hammerspace]]. | *Strong Bad pulls the F slip out of [[hammerspace]]. | ||
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*The song played when Bubs and Homestar "fight over" the King of Town is also played during [[No Hands on Deck!]]. | *The song played when Bubs and Homestar "fight over" the King of Town is also played during [[No Hands on Deck!]]. | ||
*The fanfare playing during Homestar's dream sequence is the last half of the 2007 [[Strong Badathlon]]'s fanfare. | *The fanfare playing during Homestar's dream sequence is the last half of the 2007 [[Strong Badathlon]]'s fanfare. | ||
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===Real-World References=== | ===Real-World References=== | ||
- | *Homestar hums the theme to | + | * Homestar hums the theme to [[Wikipedia:Inspector Gadget|Inspector Gadget]]. |
- | *The flag that Homestar wears in his dream is the [[Wikipedia:Flag of Mexico|flag of Mexico]]. | + | * The flag that Homestar wears in his dream is the [[Wikipedia:Flag of Mexico|flag of Mexico]]. |
- | * | + | * Several of the companies that Homestar lists as a conglomerate are real companies: |
- | **[[KFC]] and | + | ** [[Wikipedia:KFC|KFC]] and [[Wikipedia:Taco Bell|Taco Bell]] are restaurants owned by [[Wikipedia: Yum! Brands|Yum! Brands]]. |
- | **[[Wikipedia:Radisson Hotels|Radisson]] is a hotel chain owned by | + | ** [[Wikipedia:Radisson Hotels|Radisson]] is a hotel chain owned by [[Wikipedia:Carlson Companies|Carlson Companies]]. |
- | **[[Texas Instruments]] is a semiconductor and electronics maker. | + | ** [[Wikipedia:Texas Instruments|Texas Instruments]] is a semiconductor and electronics maker. |
- | ** | + | **[[Wikipedia: NASA|NASA]] is the United States space agency, not part of a conglomerate. |
+ | *Bubs's line about being able to legally say his doughnuts are "from Homemade" is a reference to an [http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/usa.asp urban legend] in which Japan supposedly renamed one of its cities to "Usa" in order to claim that its products were "Made in USA". | ||
*Homestar's line about "57 different varieties" refers to the slogan of the American condiment company [[Wikipedia:H. J. Heinz Company|Heinz]]. | *Homestar's line about "57 different varieties" refers to the slogan of the American condiment company [[Wikipedia:H. J. Heinz Company|Heinz]]. | ||
- | + | *The music Bubs hums at the end is a piece called "Mysterioso Pizzicato" and is commonly used as stock music for sneaking characters or villains. | |
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==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
- | {{ | + | {{extlinks|doughnutstand|15231}} |
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[[Category:Shorts]] | [[Category:Shorts]] |