Bubs's Shady Business Practices

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Bubs has been known to engage in all forms of illicit and questionable activities from trading in stolen organs to trying to dispose of evidence.

Contents 1 Embezzlement 2 Evidence Tampering 3 Human Trafficking 4 Information Mining and Spamming 5 Operating without a valid license 6 Overpricing 7 Sale and distribution of harmful goods 8 Sale of broken goods 9 Sale of Illegal Goods 10 Sale of Stolen Goods 11 Generic References

Embezzlement

• Ever and More! — Homestar asks Bubs to talk about "shiny new ways to misappropriate funds". Bubs then proceeds to describe buying a Jet Ski with the Broternal Order of Different Helmets's money, crashed and broke his shin, and began spending $50 a tube on rubbing ointment.
• Strong Badia the Free — Bubs says that he is definitely not embezzling thousands of dollars from Club Technochocolate.
• Baddest of the Bands — Bubs casually mutters that he's skimming 10% of the profits of the battle of the bands behind his back.

Evidence Tampering

• Bug In Mouth Disease — When Homestar approaches, Bubs is burning an envelope labeled "Exhibit A" and later tries to sell him a pancreas contained in a box labeled "Exhibit B".
• DNA Evidence — Bubs sells Marzipan's DNA evidence to Strong Bad in a snow cone, and returns to her a test tube labeled "tampered with".
• Email buried — Bubs buries "intoxicatingly good" waste in Strong Badia and has apparently buried "a fella named Rich" in the past.

Human Trafficking

• Baddest of the Bands — Bubs says that he accepts first-born children as payment.

Information Mining and Spamming

• Email unused emails — Bubs buys 5000 email addresses at $0.25 apiece from Strong Bad to use in his weekly spamvertisments.

Operating without a valid license

• Senorial Day — Bubs's entrepreneur license has SUSPENDED stamped across it.
• Bug In Mouth Disease — Bubs claims to be a doctor despite his "doctor" card clearly being only for VCR repairs and fashion consultation.
• The Baloneyman — Bubs mentions that he has an expired tag and expired license.
• Email licensed — Bubs sells unlicensed unlicensed Strong Bad merchandise.

Overpricing

• King of Town Email — According to the page title Bubs sold the broken Tandy 400 to The King of Town for $900.
• Email pom pom — Bubs charges Strong Bad $5 for a "face mashing" and $10 for a "severe pummeling" from Pom Pom.
• The Baloneyman — Bubs attempt to sell Coach Z a napkin for $32.
• Email myths & legends — Bubs demands an extra $20 from Strong Bad after he comments that the Bear Holding a Shark ice cream he bought looks more like Morgan Freeman.
• Email part-time job — Bubs attempts to charge Coach Z and Pom Pom $50 then $60 for a picture with the Tragic clown dog.
• DNA evidence — Bubs tells Marzipan that analysing the DNA evidence will cost her an arm and a leg. (Though given the amount of invisle limbs in the Homestar Runner universe it's uncertain which context they are refering to.
• Baddest of the Bands — Bubs charges Strong Bad "one big sack of cash" for repairs to the Fun-machine.

Sale and distribution of harmful goods

• Email licensed — The Strong Bad piñatas that Bubs sells are full of broken glass which cuts Homestar (who is, as usual, too ignorant to care), and his Strong Bad ferret ointment gives the Cheat an adverse reaction causing him to inflate like a balloon.
• DNA Evidence — Bubs sells the DNA evidence to Strong Bad in a snow cone.
• The Baloneyman — Bubs implies that the baloney sandwiches that he has been selling had expired mayonnaise.
• The Best Decemberween ever — Bubs has a Strong Sad voodoo doll on sale, which even Homestar questions.

Sale of broken goods

• King of Town Email — According to the page title Bubs sold the broken Tandy 400 to The King of Town for $900.
• Email virus — Bubs puts the "slightly shotgunned" and "like used" Compy 386 up for sale.

Sale of Illegal Goods

• Bug In Mouth Disease — Bubs offers to sell Homestar a spare pancreas.
• Strong Badia the Free — Bubs operates a black market out behind Concessionstantinople dealing in weapons, illegally excavated and exported artifacts, and organs.

Sale of Stolen Goods

• Strong Badia the Free — Bubs's black market trades in stolen organs and he trades Strong Sad's stolen Pretendix for an illegally excavated piece of a pot to Strong Bad.
• Where My Hat Is At? — Bubs has Marzipan's hair on sale as a "wig" which he unabashedly says is stolen.

Generic References

• Bug In Mouth Disease — Homestar asks if Bubs is an unethical quack, to which he responds "the most quackinest."
• Broken Compy Menu — Homestar asks, "What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways?"
• Email isp — When Strong Bad confronts him with "throttling [Strong Bad] down", Bubs responds that throttling down is not one of the 99 ways he rips Strong Bad off.
• Doomy Tales of the Macabre — Bubs describes his wallet as the one that says "bad business practices".