Bubs's Shady Business Practices

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"What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways?"

From Strong Badia the Free:

STRONG BAD: You're a shady, shady character Bubs.
BUBS: It's cool in the shade!

Bubs has been known to engage in all forms of shady, crooked, and sometimes downright illegal business practices, from simple overpricing to trading in stolen organs.


[edit] Bait and Switch

[edit] Copyright Infringement

[edit] Counterfeiting

[edit] Debt Evasion

  • Email lackey — Bubs slams the shutters when Strong Bad with Doreauxgard pretends to be from the collection agency.

[edit] Defective and Substandard Goods

[edit] Embezzlement

[edit] Evidence Tampering

  • Bug In Mouth Disease — When Homestar approaches, Bubs is burning an envelope labeled "Exhibit A" and later tries to sell him a pancreas contained in a box labeled "Exhibit B".
  • DNA Evidence — Bubs sells Marzipan's DNA evidence to Strong Bad in a snow cone, and returns to her a test tube labeled "tampered with".
  • Email buried — Bubs has apparently buried "a fella named Rich" in the past.
  • I Killed Pom Pom — Bubs sells Homestar a 50 gallon drum of bleach, a 50 gallon drum of sawblades, and a 50 gallon drum of bodybags, in order to destroy the evidence of him "killing Pom Pom". He then advises Homestar to establish a false alibi for his "crime".

[edit] False Advertising

  • Email unused emails — The Free Weekly Spamvertisement promotes Scotch Tape, ketchup, and three bean salad as herbal supplements.
  • Broken Compy Menu — Bubs sells the shotgunned Compy 386 to Homestar saying it's a low-priced automobile.
  • Email technology — Bubs sells "wireless extension cords" and stresses that they're "existent".
  • Happy Hallow-day — Bubs advertises black spray-paint as spray-on Halloween night, sunglasses as Halloween night-vision goggles and "Hollerin' Jimmy's Hovercraft Kit" as a "Halloween Night hovercraft kit".
  • Email the chair — Bubs tries to sell a box of chicken beaks and a Winger album as chairs.
  • Ever and More! — Bubs sells the minutes of The Broternal Order of Different Helmets's last meeting to third world countries as rollover minutes.
  • Quality Time — Bubs sells Marzipan eggs as "organic batteries".
  • Donut Unto Others — Bubs lies about the teeth-cleaning and cavity-fighting abilities of his donuts. He also says that he has them made in a third world country named "Homemáde" so he can legally print "from homemade" on the package.
  • Flash is Dead! — Strong Bad complains that the fallout shelter was advertised as being Coach Z free.

[edit] Fraud

[edit] Hacking

[edit] Harmful Goods

[edit] Health Code Violations

  • Email no loafing — The lunch specials that Bubs sells are already eaten.
  • One Two, One Two — Bubs makes sausages with a tennis ball and a box of General Tso's Chicken (including the box).
  • The Baloneyman — Bubs sells a sandwich with a bite taken out of it to an oblivious Homestar.
  • Donut Unto Others — Bubs hides and pretends to be closed when the health inspector arrives.
  • Flash is Dead! — Bubs' Fallout Shelter lacks proper toilet facilities, using empty cans as makeshift latrines.

[edit] Human Trafficking

[edit] Illegal Dumping

[edit] Information Mining and Spamming

  • Email unused emails — Bubs buys, as claimed, roughly 5000 email addresses at $0.25 apiece from Strong Bad (roughly $1250 total) to use in his weekly spamvertisments.

[edit] Intentionally Poor Crowd Control

  • Email local news — Bubs tricks Homestar, Marzipan and the King of Town into queuing outside the Concession Stand (and paying for it) for no reason.
  • Toikey TV — The sale advertised by Bubs, "Bubs Friday", has a designated time for "Shovin' and Tramplin'". He also encourages mothers to fight each other and even draw blood.
  • A Decemberween Mackerel — Bubs intentionally has a queue last for 3 miles or 18 days, whichever comes first.
  • @StrongBadActual Tweet (24 Nov 2017) — "Bubs Friday" 2017 ends with shoppers trapped in riot foam.

[edit] Invasion of Privacy

[edit] Legal Malpractice

  • Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 — Bubs represents Coach Z in court; however, he bases his defense on dinosaurs after confusing works by author Michael Crichton with those by author John Grisham.

[edit] Loan Sharking

  • Email other days — Bubs threatens to turn Strong Bad over to a "cut off your toes"-style collections agency if he doesn't pay up.

[edit] Mistreatment of Employees

  • Email part-time job — Strong Bad mentions that Bubs made him pay for his mascot costume.
  • On Break — Bubs only gives one smoking, pee, coffee, and maternity leave break each per day. He also doesn't allow Pom Pom to take breaks as he is not in the union.
  • @StrongBadActual Tweet (2 May 2019) — Bubs pokes the person picking out shirts ("90% likely Strong Sad") in the eyes to ensure that the selection is random.

[edit] Operating Without a Valid License

  • Bug In Mouth Disease — Bubs claims to be a doctor despite his "doctor" card clearly being only for VCR repairs and fashion consultation.
  • Senorial Day — Bubs's entrepreneur license has "SUSPENDED" stamped across it.
  • Email licensed — Bubs sells unlicensed unlicensed Strong Bad merchandise.
  • The Baloneyman — Bubs mentions that the tag and license he has been operating under are both expired.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Bubs hints that his black market sells unlicensed merchandise.

[edit] Organ Trafficking

[edit] Overpricing

[edit] Smuggling

  • SBCG4AP Tutorial — When Strong Bad comments that Bubs has gotten fat, he replies that he hasn't and is in fact just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under his shirt.
  • Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — While Bubs was imprisoned in what would eventually become the Concession Stand, he sold himself hot dogs with files in them.

[edit] Stolen Goods

  • Cool Things — Bubs claims that he's closed and only gives Homestar the paint and shades when he asks Bubs to steal them for him, asserting that he never passes up a chance to stick it to the man.
  • Strong Badia the Free — Bubs's black market trades in organs of questionable origin and illegally obtained cultural artifacts. He trades Strong Sad's stolen Pretendix for an illegally excavated piece of pottery to Strong Bad.
  • Where My Hat Is At? — Bubs has Marzipan's hair on sale as a "wig" which he unabashedly says is stolen.

[edit] Weapons Dealing

[edit] Wildlife Trafficking

  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad says that the last time he tried to navigate Bubs' Tele-stand, he ended up with a crate of rhino horns (though according to Strong Bad they were from a species not considered endangered).

[edit] Generic Mentions of Shadiness

  • Broken Compy Menu — Homestar asks, "What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways? A Bubsness?"
  • Bug In Mouth Disease — Homestar asks if Bubs is an unethical quack, to which he responds "the most quackinest."
  • Happy Fireworks — Bubs complains about how long the setup for the fireworks is taking, saying "I got peoples to rip off!"
  • Email isp — When Strong Bad confronts him with "throttling [Strong Bad] down", Bubs responds that throttling down is not one of the 99 ways he rips Strong Bad off.
  • Email licensed — Bubs says that the stuff that he sells in the Concession Stand is of worse quality than his shady bootleg operation.
  • Email buried (DVD commentary) — The Brothers Chaps say that they are trying to remember all the "sketchy things" that Bubs does.
  • Play Date — Bubs briefly spends time in federal prison for unexplained reasons.
  • The Baloneyman — At the end, Homestar says farewell to the "baloneym'n", adding "may your warbly theme song serve as a reminder that you probably have a really sketchy past."
  • Homestar Ruiner — Strong Bad wonders why it's called "Bubs' Concession Stand" as "Bubs never conceded anything in his whole miserable gigantic-mark-up life!"
  • Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad says that Bubs is a "shady, shady character", to which Bubs responds that it's cool in the shade.
  • Doomy Tales of the Macabre — Bubs describes his wallet as the one that says "bad business practices".
  • @StrongBadActual Tweet (23 Jun 2019) — In a Twitter exclusive animation, Bubs stashes several stacks of dollar bills in the ceiling of the Concession Stand, to which Strong Bad writes "Keep it shady, Bubs."

[edit] See Also

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