SBCG4AP Tutorial

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"You may remember me as pretty much the coolest guy or sandwich ever '98, or the fellow what stole your girlfriend."

Strong Bad is required by law to teach people how to play Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.

Cast: (in order of appearance) Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Bubs

Places: Computer Room, Strong Sad's Room, Bubs' Concession Stand

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


[edit] Transcript (Computer Room)

[edit] Tutorial Opening

{Fade in to show Strong Bad walking to his computer room}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Time to check the email. The email! The email! The email!

{Strong Bad walks into the computer room. The Lappy appears to be missing, with a fingerprint where it usually sits.}

STRONG BAD: {ominous music} Oh no! The Lappy is missing!

{Strong Bad turns to the player}

STRONG BAD: {to the player} Hi folks. My name is Strong Bad. {Walks over to Le Restige and sits on it} You may remember me as Pretty Much the Coolest Guy or Sandwich Ever '98, or the fellow what stole your girlfriend. Welcome to the required-by-video-game-law tutorial portion of my awesome video game. {ominous music} It seems as though someone has stolen my state of the art laptop computer, and you, yes you, need to help me find out who. {Jumps off chair} Okay, let's take a look around my computer room.
  • {if played on PC} Move your cursor around various items of interest in the room and click the left mouse button.
  • {if played on Wii} Point at the various items of interest in the room with your Wii Remote and press the A button.
  • {if played on PS3} Highlight various items of interest in the room by pressing the L1 or R1 buttons, then press X to confirm that "yes, I do want to check out, pick up, or otherwise perform random acts of violence upon this item."
I'll check them out as you do.

[edit] Computer disks

STRONG BAD: Yeah, those are my old computer games. They don't even work on the Lappy, but I keep them around so that people know how cool I am for keeping them around.

STRONG BAD: {tapping his foot impatiently} Seriously, those are not important right now.

[edit] Missing Lappy

STRONG BAD: Oh man, could that be a clue in the area where my laptop computer used to be? I wish I could somehow see it bigger.

STRONG BAD: Hmm. How can I see that purple smudge bigger?

[edit] Magnifying glass

STRONG BAD: I totally stole this from my nerdy little brother Strong Sad. Man, that guy is such a whiny baby. He's probably crying over losing it right now. {to player} Okay, this is an item that I am going to keep. That means that it's going into my "inventory", or "collection of surprisingly useful useless crap".
  • {if played on PC} To see the stuff in my inventory, just click on the inventory icon in the Upper Left of the screen.
  • {if played on Wii} To see the stuff in my inventory, just point at the inventory icon in the Upper Left of the screen and press the A button.
  • {if played on PS3} To see the stuff in my inventory, just press the Square button on your controller.

  • {if played on PC or Wii} It's the one that's blinking. But don't think about using it until I'm done talking. What, were you raised in a click-on-stuff-while-cool-people-are-still-talking barn? Anyway, when the inventory is open, select the magnifying glass icon. Your cursor, formerly a dot, will become the magnifying glass. Then just point and click on things you want to use the magnifying glass on.
  • {if played on PS3} But don't think about using it until I'm done talking. What, were you raised in a do-stuff-while-cool-people-are-still-talking barn? Then just cycle through things you want to use the magnifying glass on by pressing the L1 and R1 buttons and then press the X button.

It's, like, super easy, man.

[edit] Magnifying glass → Missing Lappy

STRONG BAD: Ah ha! I'd recognize that pudgy, grape jelly stained fingerprint anywhere! It belongs to — {ominous music} Dun dun dunnnnnn! My little brother Strong Sad! Let's go across the hall into his room and unethically interrogate him.

[edit] Plug

STRONG BAD: I can't unplug the Lappy. It takes five to seven business days to fully charge the battery. Lappy don't charge on weekends.

[edit] Rave Switch

STRONG BAD: {first time only} Check this out! {Does a light switch rave} Ah, I sometimes get tired of that.

STRONG BAD: {Does a light switch rave} Yeah, I'm definitely tired of that.

[edit] Sign

STRONG BAD: I put up that sign, but the stupid walls are still loafing all the time.

[edit] Stooly

STRONG BAD: Ah, my trusty steed. Stooly, I'd ride you into email battle any day.

[edit] Transcript (Strong Sad's Room)

[edit] When entering the room

{Cut to a closeup of Strong Bad entering Strong Sad's Room. Zoom out to show Strong Sad standing next to him wearing a Sherlock Holmes Detective Hat.}

STRONG SAD: Strong Bad, get outta here! I'm trying to get ready for the 19th century Scotland Yard LARP festival, and I can't find my authentic Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass!
STRONG BAD: That whiney sack of gray dump over there is Strong Sad.
  • {if played on PC} Clicking on him means you want me to talk to him.
  • {if played on Wii} If you want me to talk to him, point at him with the Wii Remote and press the A button.
  • {if played on PS3} If you want me to talk to him, use your trusty L1 and R1 buttons to select him, then, you guessed it ... press that X button!

You'll see a bunch of stuff appear over my head. They represent topics I can talk about. Let's try talking to him about his own miserable self first.

[edit] Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Hey little brother...
STRONG BAD: {first time only}
  • {if played on PC} Click on the picture of Strong Sad's ugly face in the bubble above my head.
  • {if played on Wii} Point at the picture of Strong Sad's ugly face in the bubble above my head and press the A button.
  • {if played on PS3} Select the picture of Strong Sad's ugly face in the bubble above my head, and press X.

[edit] Strong Sad → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: {first time only} {to the audience} Sometimes when talking to people, I can choose between saying something nice, and saying something that I would say. Choose the angel me to say something nice, or the devil me to be more of a jerk.

[edit] Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Angel

STRONG BAD: Nice hat. It distracts people from your grotesquely bulbous midsection.
STRONG SAD: It's a tweed deerstalker hat!
STRONG BAD: I am sure that it is.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!

[edit] Strong Sad → Strong Sad → Devil

STRONG BAD: You are ugly and you smell like old feet!
STRONG SAD: I don't even know what old feet smell like.
STRONG BAD: Corn chips and medicated creams.
STRONG SAD: Oh, you're right. I do.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} Ok, enough chit chat, let's shake him down about my stolen laptop!

[edit] Strong Sad → Laptop

STRONG BAD: Where is my Lappy, you two-bit thief?
STRONG SAD: What? No, I told you I don't want to be part of your stupid tutorial!
STRONG BAD: If you want your magnifying glass back you will!
STRONG SAD: Fine. Give it back and I'll say my line.
STRONG BAD: {to the audience} To give my brother back his magnifying glass, just get it from your inventory and use it on him. Just like you did with the fingerprint in my computer room.

[edit] Magnifying glass → Strong Sad

Before asking about the laptop

STRONG BAD: No! Don't give it to him yet. We've got to interrogate him first!

After asking about the laptop

STRONG BAD: Here's your nerd glass. Now, where's my Lappy?!
STRONG SAD: Thank you! {monotonously} I pawned your Lappy to Bubs so I could afford — do I have to say it? — {dejected} foot replacement surgery.
STRONG BAD: Well, you sure need it, pal, but that's no reason to steal someone else's expensive high tech electronic styles! I need to get to Bubs'!
Continue if playing any episode other than Strong Badia The Free
STRONG BAD: This is my map. It's what I use to get from point A to place B.
{if played on PC} You can access this map at any time by clicking the Map icon in the top left part of the screen.
{if played on Wii} To access this map at any time during the game, point at the Map icon in the top left part of the screen with your Wii Remote and mash the A button.
{if played on PS3} You can access this map at any time by pressing the Triangle button. Actually, it's a round button, but it has a picture of a triangle on it. You get the idea.
STRONG BAD: Yes, okay... my map is looking a little... undernourished. I need to throw Bubs' Concession stand up here somewheres. As I discover wondrous new places, I will add them to my map.
  • {if played on PC} Simply point to a location and click it to travel there.
  • {if played on Wii} To travel to another location, point at it with the Wii Remote and mash A.
  • {if played on PS3} Simply select a location and press the ol' X button to travel there.

Give it a try!

[edit] Strong Sad → Cancel

STRONG BAD: Never mind.

[edit] Transcript (Bubs' Concession Stand)

[edit] When entering the scene

{Cut to Strong Bad walking to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is there, as usual.}

STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs! I heard my stupid brother was down here—
BUBS: Hi Strong Bad! Here is your laptop computer—
STRONG BAD: Bubs, what are you doing? That part comes at the end of the tutorial. You're supposed to be sad in this part.
BUBS: I am? Oh yeah, right.
STRONG BAD: Why do I even bother with rehearsals?
BUBS: {flatly} Hi Strong Bad. I'm feeling so sad today that I think I am just gonna close up and go home.
STRONG BAD: {unemotionally} No, Bubs, wait! I need the Lappy! {to audience; normally} If I want this guy to cooperate, I'd better change his mood! There are usually a variety of ways to change people's moods. You'll figure this out as you go. Generally I find kissing up or breaking their stuff usually gets the desired response. In this case, go ahead and give ol' blue head a compliment to cheer him up.

[edit] Bubs → Bubs → Devil

STRONG BAD: Wow, Bubs, you sure have gotten fat!
BUBS: No, I haven't. I'm just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under my shirt!

[edit] Bubs → Bubs → Angel

STRONG BAD: Cheer up, Bubs, at least you're not on fire!
BUBS: {cross} That's the best compliment you could come up with?
STRONG BAD: Just stick to the script!
BUBS: {monotone} Thanks, muscular Strong Bad. I feel much better.

[edit] Bubs → Lappy (before compliment)

STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs, have you seen my Lappy around here?
BUBS: I don't know, Strong Bad. Apparently I'm too sad to look around for it. Maybe if I were in a better mood.

[edit] Bubs → Lappy (after compliment)

STRONG BAD: Did my dumpy little brother bring my laptop computer to you?
BUBS: He sure did. He tried to pawn it to get money for some kind of foot replacement surgery, but I know how much pirated software you've got on there, so I kept it for you. {Holds out the Lappy}
STRONG BAD: Lucky you did, or both you and Strong Sad would be in for a world of hurtings from me! The awesome one! The Strong Bad! {facetiously} All right! I got my Lappy back! {takes the Lappy; to audience} So there you go, folks, {starts walking away as the camera follows him} that should be everything you need to know to play this best game ever. Now get out there and have some fun at the expense of others. And don't make me look bad! {Stops walking} Er, good— Don't make me look good. {Walks offscreen} I got a bad reputation to uphold.

{The camera pans back over to Bubs}

BUBS: Hey, where's my money? I'm getting paid for this, right?

[edit] Fun Facts

  • The normal light switch cannot be interacted with.
  • Attempting to leave the Computer Room before inspecting the missing laptop with the magnifying glass results in:
STRONG BAD: I'm not leaving here until I get a clue about who stole the Lappy.
  • Attempting to go downstairs will result in one of two responses:
STRONG BAD: That goes downstairs. We won't be going down there in this tutorial.

STRONG BAD: Hey! Stay focused, man!
  • The tutorial in Strong Badia the Free, which has a different map interface, skips the section explaining the map. Strong Bad simply goes to Bubs' immediately after saying the line "I need to get to Bubs'!"
  • During the tutorial in Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective, Strong Bad wears his Dangeresque glasses throughout, and the mouse-over text for him reads "Dangeresque". The disk box and rave switch are not selectable, and the map explanation uses that game's version of the map design and location placement animation (but still uses the original version of the Bubs' stand icon).
  • The poster on Strong Sad's wall is a sloshy poster in episodes 1, 2, and 5, and a West Is Lip poster in episodes 3 and 4.

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