Homestar Ruiner Responses (The Field)

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"You're beautiful, man."

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from The Field in Homestar Ruiner.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


[edit] Bubs' Concession Stand

[edit] Box

First time only
STRONG BAD: Box peering guy— hey!
{Strong Bad finds a Snake Boxer V manual page.}

STRONG BAD: Nothin'. Guess this isn't one of those infinitely-replenishable boxes like you see in video games. You know, like with a health pack or some shields.

[edit] Sign

STRONG BAD: Bubs' Concession Stand is our one-stop shopping center-slash repair shop-slash internet provider. If I ever had any money, I'd probably buy something.

STRONG BAD: Yup, the concession stand is still there.

STRONG BAD: I don't know why they call it a concession stand. Bubs never conceded anything in his whole miserable gigantic-mark-up life!

[edit] When entering the scene

BUBS: Hey, hey hey! Step right up and trade your money for some stuff!

BUBS: Wanna buy something? Everybody wanna buy something!

BUBS: Hey, You! With the face!
only when the shipment of Total Load is available
BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad, I got something for ya!

[edit] When leaving the scene

BUBS: Tell your friends!

BUBS: See ya later, customator!

BUBS: Come back soon!

[edit] Bubs

First time only
BUBS: Strong Bad, shouldn't you be beating the snot out of Homestar or something?
STRONG BAD: How do you know about that?
BUBS: I'm your internet provider man. I read all your email!

BUBS: Strong Bad!

As Homestar Runner

First time only
STRONG BAD: {imitating Homestar} Good afternoon, Bubs. It is I, Homestar.
BUBS: Hey there, Strong Bad!
STRONG BAD: {surprised} But-but how did you know it's me?
BUBS: I use giant mascot costumes to sell everything from baby wipes to tropical cruises- I got a nose for these things!
STRONG BAD: Oh yeah! That dancing gorilla with the jet pack totally got me to buy that term life insurance from you.
BUBS: Case and pernt!

In Extended Play

First time only, if Strong Bad did not receive a manual page earlier
STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs.
BUBS: Hey, Strong Bad. Wait a sec... I gots something for you.
STRONG BAD: Hey, cool.
[Bubs gives Strong Bad a Snake Boxer 5 Manual page.]

First time only
STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs, no hard feelings?
BUBS: What for?
STRONG BAD: For, um, sending you flying out my window?
BUBS: Hmmm. Guess I must have a concussion or somethin', cause I can't remember anything about flyin' outta windows. They don't call it Bubs' Concussion Stand for nothin'!
STRONG BAD: {elated} It's a Race to the End of the Race miracle!

[edit] Bubs → Bubs

First time only
STRONG BAD: How's the fast paced world of concession stand, um, standing?
BUBS: Bizness is biz-nasty!

[edit] Bubs → Bubs → Angel

STRONG BAD: Have you lost weight?
BUBS: I sure have! This green stripe here is actually one of them weight loss jiggle belts. Want one?
STRONG BAD: Um, no. Thanks for implyin' that I'm fat, though.
BUBS: Hey, no problem!

STRONG BAD: The stand's looking great, Bubs!
BUBS: Ain't it though! I had three new coats of bug spray put on the walls last week.
STRONG BAD: I thought I smelled carcinogens!
BUBS: That means it's working!

[edit] Bubs → Bubs → Devil

STRONG BAD: Good grief, Bubs, you've really let yourself go.
BUBS: Hey man, I've got a glandular problem!
STRONG BAD: More like a gravy boat problem...

STRONG BAD: Man, Bubs, when are you gonna fix up this dump?
BUBS: I suppose you could do better?
STRONG BAD: Strong Sad could do better... with one arm tied behind his back... and one of them black hostage baggies over his head...
STRONG SAD: {pokes out from the side of the concession stand, wearing one of them black hostage baggies over his head} I'm here for all your concessionary needs...
BUBS: Now that's just ignorant, mean, and only mostly true, Strong Bad.

[edit] Bubs → Candy

Before picking up any Coupons

First time only
STRONG BAD: You have any candy? It's a long story.
BUBS: Do I have any candy? Candy makes up over 900 percent of my gross profits! I got chocolate candy, vanilla candy, tainted candy, real candy, pretend candy...
STRONG BAD: Got any free candy?
BUBS: Free?! Who do ya think I am? Some kinda Don't-Charge-Anything-For-Candy Mandy?
STRONG BAD: Um, yes?
BUBS: You're right! I've been giving away free candy coupons all day over at the track! I bet you can still find some there before the squirrels get 'em.

STRONG BAD: Can't you just pretend I've got a candy coupon, and give me some candy anyway?
BUBS: Sure! Here's some pretend candy!

After picking up Coupons; the same response is received for using the Coupon on Bubs

STRONG BAD: Hook me up with some of the delicious free candy, Bubs!
BUBS: Awesome!
STRONG BAD: Mmmmm, ChocoOpps! ... What the crap are ChocoOpps?
BUBS: Chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts!
STRONG BAD: Chocolate-covered organic packing peanuts?! What kind of candy is that?
BUBS: The kind of candy that I give away to people for free, dummy!

STRONG BAD: I'll take another box of ChocoOpps, my good man.
BUBS: What happened to the last one I gave you?
STRONG BAD: I, um, threw it down a hole.
BUBS: Hey, why didn't I think of that? Here! Feel free to throw this one down a hole, too!

STRONG BAD: Another box?
BUBS: Aroo got it!

STRONG BAD: I'll take another box of ChocoOpps, my good man.
BUBS: What happened to the last one I gave you?
STRONG BAD: I, um, threw it down a hole.
BUBS: Here!
BUBS: Yeah, that stuff's really starting to stink up the joint.

STRONG BAD: Funny thing about that candy—
BUBS: Another hole?
STRONG BAD: They're like, everywhere!
BUBS: Here!
STRONG BAD: Thanks, Bubs.
Each time thereafter
STRONG BAD: Another candy?
BUBS: Here ya go!

[edit] Bubs → Hedge Shears

STRONG BAD: Marzipan sent me to pick up her hedge shears.
BUBS: She did? Well that's just awesome! I've got 'em all fixed up and ready to go!
STRONG BAD: Whoa, these are pretty sweet!
BUBS: You said it! I've totally rebuilt them with my patented Gyroscopic Ocho-Track Blade Action and passenger side airbag! Guaranteed to shave a shrub smoother than a baby's bottom!
STRONG BAD: These are way too cool for Marzipan... I think I'll give 'em a test drive or ten before I give 'em back to her.

[edit] Bubs → Snake Boxer

STRONG BAD: Please tell me you've got my Snake Boxer 5 Manual...
BUBS: Snake what now?
STRONG BAD: Aaaaaah!
BUBS: Oh, Snake Boxer 5! Here ya go!

[edit] Bubs → Total Load

Before the shipment has arrived
STRONG BAD: Has my order of Total Load Total Body Fitness Energy Enhancement Powder arrived yet?
BUBS: Total Load? Nope.
STRONG BAD: That total-ly sucks!

STRONG BAD: Any sign of my Total Load Total Body Fitness Enhancement Powder yet?
BUBS: Nope.
STRONG BAD: Grr. I'm starting to question my policy of responding to random spam.
When the shipment has arrived
STRONG BAD: Has my shipment of Total Load Total Body Fitness Energy Enhancement Powder shown up yet?
BUBS: Total Load? Nope.
STRONG BAD: What? That's so—
BUBS: Oh, wait, here it is!
STRONG BAD: All right! Total Load, the Total Body Fitness Energy Enhancement Powder used by all my favorite disgraced athletes!

[edit] Bubs → Cancel

STRONG BAD: Gotta run, bye!
BUBS: Come back soon. We're always awesome!

STRONG BAD: Smell ya later, Bubs!
BUBS: Stay gold, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: So long, Bubs!
BUBS: So long, people!

[edit] Candy → Bubs

First time only
STRONG BAD: This candy's a rip-off, Bubs! I want a refund!
BUBS: A refund? You didn't pay anything for it!
STRONG BAD: But it's stinking up my inventory!
BUBS: Your inventory? What about MY inventory? I've got 300 boxes of that stuff smellin' up my back room!

STRONG BAD: Want some ChocoOpps?
BUBS: Get that thing out of my face!

[edit] Strong Badia

[edit] Dirt Pile

STRONG BAD: That empty hole reminds me of Homestar's giant hollow head.

[edit] Flag

STRONG BAD: Ah, the Strong Badian Flag... or Old Snakes and Tires and Knives and... Brown. As the colonists used to call it.

[edit] Sign

First time only
STRONG BAD: This is the sign that totally notifies all trespassers that they have officially entered Strong Badia: The place where the tropical breezes theory.

STRONG BAD: "Strong Badia. Population: Tire." Truer words were never hastily spray-painted.

[edit] Treasure Marker

STRONG BAD: That's one of my Taranchula Black Metal Detector ball markers, used to keep track of where potential buried treasure is — buried.

[edit] Shovel → Treasure Marker

STRONG BAD: All right, Strong Badia, prepare to cough up your ancient mysteries! {digs} Whoa dang! Hey, it's one of my cool ideas for Teen Girl Squad! Drawn on an apparently somewhat metallic notecard...

[edit] Tire

First time only
STRONG BAD: Hail, First Citizen Tire. How fare things in the glorious Republic of Strong Badia?
{Camera slowly zooms in on the tire.}
STRONG BAD: Very good. Carry on then.

STRONG BAD: You ever get lonely, Tire? I oughta get you an old rusty tailpipe to spend your twilight years with.

[edit] Cool Car

[edit] Cool Car

STRONG BAD: This is our go to vehicle for pretend high speed chases, pretend road trips, and oh so real make out sessions.

[edit] Shovel → Cool Car

First time only
STRONG BAD: {uses the shovel to pry open the hood} {grunting} Ahh! Hey what's this? Oh, so that's where I left cool idea for Teen Girl Squad note card! Boy are those girls gonna get something'd now.
STRONG BAD: Nah, If I scratch the finish anymore, Bubs will get all cheesed off.

[edit] Photo Booth

[edit] Photo Booth Entry

First Time Only

STRONG BAD: Hmm. I wonder what's going on behind this curtain...
STRONG BAD: {enters the photo booth} Whoa, this place is way roomier on the inside, it's like it distorts time and space... {walks to the left, revealing that the wall is cut away and open space lies on behind it} Oh, hi, space.

STRONG BAD: Ah, the old family portrait studio. I remember coming here when I was a young Strong Bad with braces and corrective footwear and by that I am referring to Strong Mad and Strong Sad.

[edit] Photo Booth Exit

STRONG BAD: That's enough modeling for today.

STRONG BAD: Chatcha' on the flipside, The Cheat!

[edit] The Cheat

THE CHEAT: Mrhms mhersmr meh?
STRONG BAD: Yeah I want my picture taken!
THE CHEAT: Merzhe mhr mer zhe megr. Mzhr zhemr merzhsma. Mrhzer zheme rhemerzema. Mrhmeh merh meh zmeh ...
STRONG: BAD: Hang on, I'm gonna need some help. The Paper, take a note! {The Paper comes down, containing instructions for using the photo booth}

[edit] Any clothing item → Strong Bad

The following lines are spoken only occasionally, but in order, when some item is put on. If an item has a unique line listed below, that line is always spoken the first time the item is put on, and only the first time.

[edit] Hats

[edit] Carabowdit Hair → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: What? Yeah, it's a girl's wig, so what? I got book smarts! I don't need look smarts!

[edit] Shirts

[edit] Sports Jacket → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: I'll see you in court! Or Wall Street! ...or something.

[edit] Accessories

[edit] Outfits

[edit] Box

STRONG BAD: I wonder if there's something under— Yes!
STRONG BAD: So that's where I left my Data Boys polo shirt! I better stow that in my, um, virtual photo booth wardrobe for safe keeping.

{after having gotten the shirt}
STRONG BAD: Nothin'. You disappoint me, box.

[edit] Whale

The whale always says the applicable lines in order.

Only before the Homestar head is received
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: You can't get ahead until you get a head.
STRONG BAD: How zen...whale zen!

Only before the Homestar head is received
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Sever your head, please. It's the greatest day.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Welcome to Blubb-O's!

Only after getting the full Homestar costume, but before the first race
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Please drive through to the athletic field for your bag of buttkick.

Only after the race, but before reading the Total Load spam
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: You never call, you never write...

Only after reading the confirmation of the Total Load shipment, but before receiving the Total Load
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: And now, a promotion...
BUBS: Come on down to Bubs Concession Stand, everybodys. We got all that and then some.

Only before giving Homestar the onion
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: A typical Fhqwhgad can go for weeks without showering!
STRONG BAD: Fascinating!

Only before the first race
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: We request happy green time!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: For a new dynamic, please drive through!
STRONG BAD: I'm not through with the old one yet!

Only after the first race
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Would you like monkeys with that?
STRONG BAD: No. No I would not.

Only after the first race, but before winning the race
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: "Nurer" spelled backwards is "rerun."
STRONG BAD: Deep... Deeply stupid.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Special orders can be upsetting.

Only after the first race, but before attaching the balloons to the heavy lourde
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Lighten up, jumpy jumperson.

Only after the first race, but before putting the Jela-Ton in the pool
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Blubb-O Incorporated advocates a balanced diet of Blubb-O's fish products and Fluffy-Puff Jela-Ton(tm) flavored gelatin, made from 100% genuine powdered whale fat.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Please smile for the Blubb-O's satellite camera!
STRONG BAD: {seen from high up} {camera shutter sound} What the-?

Only after the first race, but before Coach Z disqualifies Pom Pom
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: We've eliminated the competition, now it's your turn!

Only after the first race, but before reading the Total Load spam
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: We can't come to the whale right now... we're reading our fan mail.
STRONG BAD: The whale gets fan mail? That's my racket!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: In the event of a firestorm, the salad bar will remain open.

Only after the first race, but before Marzipan makes up with Homestar
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Will you be my candy-colored valentine?
STRONG BAD: I don't think so.

Only after the first race, but before Marzipan makes up with Homestar
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Always double-down with a king in the hole.
STRONG BAD: Hey, thanks for the tip!

Only in Extended Play
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: I've got your nostrum right here.

Only after the first race
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: When the End Times come, we will all dance the Conga of the Apocalypse.

Only in Extended Play
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: If you are dissatisfied with our service, please accept our invitation to bite me.


[edit] The Stick

[edit] The Stick

STRONG BAD: It's The Stick! {fanfare}
STRONG BAD: Keep on sticking it out, sticky.

STRONG BAD: It's The Stick! {fanfare}
STRONG BAD: And, that's about all there is.

[edit] Brick Wall

STRONG BAD: Hi, pointless wall! {high pitched, covering mouth} Hi, Strong Bad!

[edit] Hedge

Before trimming
STRONG BAD: Jeez, that hedge looks like it has been beat about the face with an ugly stick. Not you The Stick. You're beautiful, man.
After trimming
STRONG BAD: Behold, the Flying V! I'd shred up some squeedlies right now, but my furious fists might catch the hedge on fire.

STRONG BAD: Now that's a hedge I'd be proud to accompany to the Sadie Hawkins dance!

[edit] Hedge Shears → Hedge

STRONG BAD: This hedge is the disease... and I'm the placebo... {trims the hedge into the shape of a Gibson Flying V} Now that's a hedge I'd be proud to accompany to the Sadie Hawkins dance!
After being trimmed
STRONG BAD: Nah, that'd be, than I'm willing to be right now.
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