Baddest of the Bands Responses (The Field)

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"Looks like we're ready to make some album-cover history!"

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from The Field in Baddest of the Bands.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.


A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


Contents

[edit] Brick Wall

[edit] Brick Wall

STRONG BAD: Lots of cool bands have posed in front of this wall over the years... lots of cool midget bands.

[edit] Box

{First time only}
STRONG BAD: {Looks under the box} Box peering guy, hey! {Finds a head band} All right, a head band! I can use this to keep sweat from streaming into my eyes while I'm belting out power ballads in the photo booth.

STRONG BAD: {Looks under the box} Nothin'. Guess this isn't one of those infinitely-replenishable boxes like you see in video games. You know, like with a health pack or some shields.

[edit] Bubs' Concession Stand

[edit] Bubs

While Bubs has the Fun Machine
STRONG BAD: Bubs!
BUBS: Strong Bad! How's it shakin', bacon?

STRONG BAD: Bubs!
BUBS: Strong Bad.
Automatically triggers when both conditions required to start signing up bands are met
BUBS: Well, now that you've gotten some celebrity judges, and duped that poor marshmallow boy into running security, it's time to start signing up some acts!
STRONG BAD: Some acts! That's a great idea!
BUBS: Here are the entry forms. {Puts the forms on the counter} I'd say the entry fees for three bands would be enough to cover your video game repairs.
STRONG BAD: Three it is! Let me just put on my invisible concert-promoter hat. {Mimes putting on a hat... a very large, floppy-brimmed hat} There we go! Time to sign up some crappy bands! {Takes the forms}
BUBS: And I'LL get started on building some stages!
STRONG BAD: So, Bubs. Got any hot tips on cool bands?
BUBS: Well, there's Cool Tapes over at Marzipan's, Pom-Pom's over at the Club--
STRONG BAD: Hey, didn't you and Coach Z used to be in a band?
BUBS: Coach Z? Don't talk to me about that big green sellout! {Walks out}
In extended play
STRONG BAD: No hard feelings about the "conspiring to get you repeatedly punched in the face thing?"
BUBS: Oh it's cool. Whenever I get mad about it, I just roll around naked in all the money I made from the concert!
STRONG BAD: Guh. Gro-day.

[edit] Bubs → Fun Machine

While Strong Bad still has the Fun Machine. Note that Fun Machine → Bubs has the same effect
STRONG BAD: Bubs, you gotta help me! It's my Fun Machine! It's... broken! {Places Fun Machine on the counter}
BUBS: It is? Well, we can fix that, no problem! {Takes Fun Machine}
STRONG BAD: Oh, good. I was afraid that--
BUBS: {Interrupting} That'll be one big sack of cash.
STRONG BAD: One big sackajawhat?
BUBS: One big sack of cash. This is gonna be a tricky job. I gotta order some parts, hire some skilled labor, go back to night school, maybe take some tap lessons...
STRONG BAD: How am I gonna get a big sack o' cash?
BUBS: You could get a job. I sure could use an Assistant Grime Taster.
STRONG BAD: No, the has to be a more convoluted way, but how?
{Game Larry appears in mid-air, but speaks in normal Larry's voice}
GAME LARRY: Rock and roll, Strong Bad!!
STRONG BAD: That it's! I'll put on a Battle Royale of the Bands, and use the profits to fix my Fun Machine!!
BUBS: I know all about putting on concerts, Strong Bad. I'll even help you out!
STRONG BAD: You will?
BUBS: Sure, I love little side projects. I'm knitting a winter vest with my feet right now, see?
{Shot of Strong Bad from below the counter. Knitting sounds can be heard.}
STRONG BAD: {In an interested tone of voice} Terrifying! So, who should I get for my Battle Royale of the Bands?
BUBS: Slow down, there, Strong Band! Before you start signing up any acts, you're gonna need two things: Security and Celebrity Judges.
STRONG BAD: Booooring.
BUBS: Without celebrity judges, no one's gonna bother to come see the kind of fourth-rate acts that will pay to be in a contest. And without someone running security, who'll monitor the line to the Cold Ones stand, the mist tent, the port-o-potties?
STRONG BAD: Who the crap wants THAT job?
BUBS: I dunno, man, but while you were staring at my feet, I made you this deluxe Security Jacket. {Gives jacket to Strong Bad} Get some poor sap to wear this thing and find me some celebrity judges, then we'll be in illegitimate business!
While Bubs has the Fun Machine
STRONG BAD: I can't believe you're making me pay actual real money for my Fun Machine repairs.
BUBS: Buh-lieve it.

[edit] Bubs → Battle of the Bands Stage

Appears when one of Strong Bad winning the Limozeen contest or Strong Sad becoming the security guy occurs.

If Strong Bad wins the contest first
STRONG BAD: Isn't it time to find some bands for my concert?
BUBS: Not until you get some dummy to handle security.
If Strong Sad becomes the security guy first
STRONG BAD: Can I please start booking bands now?
BUBS: Not until you sign up some cool celebrity judges.

[edit] Bubs → Security Jacket

Before Strong Sad has the security jacket
STRONG BAD: How am I gonna get anyone to wear this ridiculous security jacket?
BUBS: Why don't you try lying through your teeth? Always works for me.
STRONG BAD: What about lying through your rectangular mouth?
BUBS: Yeah, I suppose that'd work, toothless.
After Strong Sad has the security jacket
STRONG BAD: How's Strong Sad working out as the head of concert security?
BUBS: He's great!
STRONG BAD: Really?
BUBS: No, but the kid sure looks good in yellow.

[edit] Bubs → Judges

Before Strong Bad wins the Limozeen contest
STRONG BAD: Do you know how hard it is to find A-List celebrites in this Z-List town?
BUBS: Tell me about it! For my last infomercial, I skipped the A-List, the B-List, and went straight to the FBI Most Wanted List! {Holds up a picture of Biscuitdoughhandsman holding a drawn-on food processor, with "WANTED" written across the top, and "food processor" across the bottom.} Though Biscuitdoughhandsman sure helped me sell a lotta food processors.
After Strong Bad wins the Limozeen contest
STRONG BAD: Can you believe that Limo-freakin'-zeen is going to judge my Battle Royale of the Bands?
BUBS: That's great! I hope they don't trash my hotel rooms.
STRONG BAD: Also known as the floor of your concession stand?
BUBS: Yes!

[edit] Bubs → Limozeen Letter

While Strong Bad still has the Limozeen Letter. Note that Limozeen Letter → Bubs has the same effect
STRONG BAD: Bubs! I found some celebrity judges for the Battle of the Bands!
BUBS: Who dat?
STRONG BAD: Oh, just a little small-time band called LIMOZEEN! {Gets out the contest flyer and waves it at Bubs}
BUBS: Limozeen? I'll make millions selling hairspray and scarves!
If Strong Bad still has the security jacket, continue
BUBS: Now just find somebody dumb enough to handle security and we can start signin' up some bands!
STRONG BAD: I'm tryin', I'm tryin'! But it's a really ugly jacket. You'd have to trick someone into putting it on.

[edit] Bubs → Contest Flyer

If Strong Bad obtained the flyer before giving the Fun Machine to Bubs
STRONG BAD: What's the deal with this win-a-day-with-Limozeen contest?
BUBS: How should I know? Sometimes I just pin random stuff up on my wall to make it look pretty.

If discussed thereafter
STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs, if I won a day with Limozeen, do you think THEY'D be good celebrity judges for my concert?
BUBS: Limozeen? Yeah, I bet they're just the right amount of washed-up to be the perfect celebrity judges.

[edit] Bubs → Cancel

STRONG BAD: Well, I got rock history to write. Catch ya on the flipside, Bubs.
BUBS: See ya later, promotinator

STRONG BAD: Well, that Battle of the Bands ain't gonna book itself. I'm outta here!
BUBS: Rock over London, Strong Bad. Rock on, Chicago.

STRONG BAD: Okay, the time for talking is over. For now.
BUBS: Come back soon! I'm always Bubs.

[edit] Glossy → Bubs

If signed with Bubs' name
BUBS: Hey thanks! I bet I could sell this to myself for a quick buck!

[edit] Contest Flyer

STRONG BAD: {Takes the flyer} Hey, what's this? Some kind of old contest entry form? {Reads} "Win a Rip-Roarin' Rock-dezvous with Limozeen's Album Cover Design Contest! If you've got a photo that you think is tough enough, simply scribble your name and address on the back, slap on a stamp, and send it to blah blah blah blah blah. If your photo is chosen, you get to spend a whole day with Limozeen for your Rip-Roarin' Rock-dezvous!" {Puts flyer away} Whoa, and entire day with Limozeen at my call and beck! That. Would be. So. {Quickly} Tremendously-awesome-that-it-kinda-hurts-my-brain-and-I-maybe-need-some-aspirin!

[edit] Diamond-Plated Record

While Bubs is present
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: What's this jobbie here, Bubs?
BUBS: That's my diamond-encrusted plantanium record I got back in the day for selling a bajillion records!
STRONG BAD: Oh, from your days with the Two-O-Duo.
BUBS: {Angrily} Don't you say that name-o!

STRONG BAD: About this gold spray-painted record--
BUBS: {Angrily} I don't wanna talk about it!
After the alarm has been stolen
STRONG BAD: Finally, I can take this-- {Grabs the record, which doesn't move} What the--? {Straining to move the record} Urrrr! {Gives up} It's superglued to the counter. Pretty sneaky, Bubs.
While Bubs is absent
BUBTRONIC: {Bubtronic pops up from below the counter, and a flashing light descents from the ceiling} Bubtronic Security Robot activated!
{First time only}
BUBTRONIC: Sit your butt down until the authorities arrive!
STRONG BAD: Aw, crap.
BUBTRONIC: Bubtronic Security Robot activated! {Repeats until the player does some action}

[edit] Bubtronic Security Robot

STRONG BAD: {Grabs the robot} Gah! Stupid! Bubs! Robot! Won't! Move! {To Any other action}

[edit] Alarm

STRONG BAD: I wonder if I can... {Takes the alarm.}
BUBOTRONIC: {winding down} BUBOTRONIC SECurity alarm activat...
STRONG BAD: Don't meant alarm you, Ro-Bubs, but I think you just got neutered. Uh-oh, looks like I just stole something from Bubs' own dang store! I better frame somebody for this quick!

[edit] Any other action

{First time only}
BUBS: {Bubs walks up} Aha, gotcha! You've just been caught by my new security robot! It's omnipotent, omnipresent, and omni-awesome! {Robot descends back under the counter} Now keep your hands off my stuff while I go back to plannin' your concert! {Bubs walks away}
STRONG BAD: Why didn't he just build me one of those to run security?

{Second time only}
BUBS: {Bubs walks up} I SAID, stop tryin' to steal my stuff! {Robot disables, Bubs walks away}

BUBS: {Bubs walks up} Knock it off! {Robot disables, Bubs walks away}

[edit] Metal Detector

STRONG BAD: {Finds poster} Hmm. It's a poster from the last Two-O-Duo concert before their unfortunate break-up.

[edit] Sign

STRONG BAD: I honestly thought it was called {zooms in on sign} "Bubs' Conces 5 Stand" for years.

[edit] Stencil

STRONG BAD: This must be what Bubs used to make that lame security jacket. {Takes the stencil}

[edit] "Eat at Bub's" Sign

[edit] Starfish

STRONG BAD: Bubs doesn't need this lightèd star. Why does he waste money on advertising when he's the only game in town? {Takes the starfish} And he's right over there. {Points}

[edit] Sign

STRONG BAD: "Eat at Bubs'." Do I have to?

[edit] The Gremlin

[edit] Hot Car

At game start, and after the car has reverted to normal
STRONG BAD: The Make-Out-Mobile is looking epically fearsome today.

STRONG BAD: Good ol' Gremmie.
If anything is on the car, but Strong Bad does not have the Defaced Album
STRONG BAD: Not bad. Now if I only had some reason to put some crap on a car.
If anything is on the car, and Strong Bad does have the Defaced Album
STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad pulls out the Defaced Album and compares it to the car} Okay, not too shabby, but it's still not jumping out at me... and tearing out my jugular.
If everything is on the car
STRONG BAD: {Pulls out the defaced album and compares in to the car} THAT is the coolest living heavy metal album cover EVER! I gotta save this for posterity!

[edit] Camera → Hot Car

If there is nothing on the car
STRONG BAD: Y'know, I WOULD like to capture this pointless moment with a cheap instant photograph. {Backs up and takes a photo} Yup, pointless.
If anything is on the car
STRONG BAD: Okay, let's get a good look at what we've got here. {Backs up and takes a photo.} Not bad, not bad, but it doesn't really sing to me yet. Right now, it's just going "screek screek screek" to me instead.
If everything is on the car
STRONG BAD: Okay, I'm feeling lucky about this one... let's see now. {Backs up and takes out the camera. Close-ups of each item follows} Dinosaur? Check. Burning car? Check. Imploding star? Check. Hot blonde with a sword? Check. {The Cheat strikes a pose. Back to Strong Bad} Looks like we're ready to make some album-cover history. Hey, The Cheat, why don't you give us a good scream, something that says "terrified", "determined", and "ooh, my loincloth!"
THE CHEAT: {"aye-aye sir"-type noises} Eeeeeee! {The extremely high-pitched harmonics in The Cheat's scream attract the bats, which fly around as he strikes another pose.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa, this is great! I'd better take the before I lose the light, or something. {Takes the picture... which, when it is displayed to the player, looks somewhat different to reality} Man, did I choose the right lens or what!? This is, like, the coolest album cover ever! I better send this off to Limozeen before its coolness freezes a hole through my pants!

[edit] Fake Sword → Hot Car

Before getting the defaced album
STRONG BAD: No way. That thing's armor is like, plus four! And this crappy sword is like, negative zero.
After getting the defaced album
STRONG BAD: If I want a sword on my album cover, I'm gonna need a hot blonde to be holding it. Or at least a blonde.

[edit] Stuffed Animal → Hot Car

STRONG BAD: {Backing up} Through the magic of forced perspective, the unsuspecting automobile is threatened by the long-thought-extinct {places Poodonkis on the ground} GIANT POODONKIS! {Shot of Poodonkis "threatening" the car} Rarr!

[edit] Starfish → Hot Car

STRONG BAD: One fish, two fish, starfish, carfish. {Puts the starfish on the car's antenna.} I think I like you, glowy starfish. You do not make me want to barfish.

[edit] Oil Slick

Only selectable before it gets set alight
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Hmm. That oil slick is new. Maybe it also has smoke screen! And missiles!

STRONG BAD: Someone should really do something about (or preferably with) that oil slick.

[edit] Lighter → Oil Slick

STRONG BAD: Now what was it that Strong Sad told me about cleaning oil spills?
{Flashback to Strong Bad and Strong Sad standing in The Field}
STRONG BAD: {As flashback Strong Sad} Umm... set it on fire
{Back to the present}
STRONG BAD: Thanks, big little brother.
{If Strong Sad is already the security guy, he'll come in his security jacket and billy club; if not, he'll appear in his normal "clothes"}
STRONG SAD: {Running up} I never said that!
STRONG BAD: Too late! {Pulls out the lighter and drops it in the oil slick, which promptly catches fire.}

[edit] Stuffed Animal

After placing
STRONG BAD: Ah, the mighty Poodonkis...

[edit] The Cheat

When not everything is on the car yet
STRONG BAD: Thanks for comin' out today, The Cheat. You ready to do this thing?
THE CHEAT: {Quizzical The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: It doesn't feel right yet, does it?
When everything is on the car
STRONG BAD: The Cheat, baby! You ready to make some magic?
THE CHEAT: {Annoyed The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: All right, already! Just let me get my F-stop adjusted.

[edit] Photo Booth

On entry
STRONG BAD: I'm ready for my close-up!

STRONG BAD: Okay, let's do this!

STRONG BAD: Time for some modeling styles!
On exit
STRONG BAD: Catch ya on the flip side, The Cheat!

STRONG BAD: Well, I gues I'd better get back to... whatever it was I was doing before.

STRONG BAD: That's enough modeling for today.
When falling over the edge
STRONG BAD: Hoop! {Falls from above, or horizontally across the floor} Aaahh! {Lands back where he started}

{Every third time, and when already inverted}
STRONG BAD: Hoop! Whoa! {Lands on the other side of the floor}
When finding the secret clothing item
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Looking good!

[edit] The Cheat

THE CHEAT: {Quizzical The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: Yeah I want my picture taken!
THE CHEAT: {Extended oration in Cheat-speak}
STRONG BAD: Hang on, I'm gonna need some help. The Paper, take a note! {The Paper comes down, containing instructions for using the photo booth}

[edit] Any clothing item → Strong Bad

The following lines are spoken only occasionally, but in order, when some item is put on. If an item has a unique line listed below, that line is always spoken the first time the item is put on, and only the first time.
STRONG BAD: Soak it in, ladies.

STRONG BAD: Styles upon styles!

STRONG BAD: Who, me?

STRONG BAD: Let's-a do lunch.

STRONG BAD: Whatever, baby.

STRONG BAD: I'm on a collision course with sultriness...

STRONG BAD: Ohh?

STRONG BAD: Ahhh?

STRONG BAD: Check me out!

STRONG BAD: Is this me or what?

STRONG BAD: Why yes, I HAVE done some modeling before.

STRONG BAD: Lookin' good!

STRONG BAD: Jarring!

STRONG BAD: Ohh, ah-ha-ha!

STRONG BAD: Do you have the time?

[edit] Hats

[edit] Carabowdit Hair → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: What? Yeah, it's a girl's wig, so what? I got book smarts! I don't need look smarts!
[edit] Homestar's Head → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: {In Homestar voice} Oh, hewwo. I'm a no-armed whitey. I wrote the book on having a stupid butt. It's called "Tennis Pwactice for Jeffwey".
[edit] Knit Cap → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: I'm ready for the big heist! Those smoky red laser beams don't stand a chance when I'm in this get up!

[edit] Shirts

[edit] Max Shirt → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: This is the most rarest, awesomest shirt ever! I have got to get a picture of me in this to make all my friends jeal-aws! Man, they only wish they had this hotness!
[edit] Sports Jacket → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: I'll see you in court! Or Wall Street! ...or something.

[edit] Accessories

[edit] Championship Belt → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: Well that's right, announcerman, the Sizzle-Weight Belt is back where it belongs! And Jack-em-up Kid, you're going down! ... kid.

[edit] Outfits

[edit] King of Town's Crown + King of Town's Beard → Strong Bad
STRONG BAD: Doo-hoo-hoo! I'm the King of Town! Faaaat! Faaaaaaaaaaaat! That's the sound of me breathing.

[edit] Stage Construction Site

Location only appears when Strong Bad is signing up bands for the concert

[edit] Bubs

STRONG BAD: Bubs!
BUBS: Strong Bad! How's it shakin', bacon?

STRONG BAD: Bubs!
BUBS: Strong Bad.
Immediately after talking to Bubs about signing up the first band
BUBS: Well, that's one band down. Get a couple more to sign up, and we'll have ourselves a contest!
Immediately after talking to Bubs about signing up the second band
BUBS: Okay, now we're talkin'! If you can get one more act to sign up, we'll be ready to start rakin' 'n' rollin' in the dough!
Immediately after talking to Bubs about signing up the third band
BUBS: Well, that's three acts! Looks like your show is ready to go, Strong Bad!
STRONG BAD: At last! Now I can finally fix my precious Fun Machine! Now gimme that muh-ney.
BUBS: Slo-ho-ho-w down there, Richie Rich! First let me take out the expenses...
STRONG BAD: Expenses!?
BUBS: Let's see, here's the prize money, the trade unions, the port-o-potties, the poopmasons, the 10% I'm skimming off the top behind your back... {mumbles} ... carry the G...
STRONG BAD: Come on, man, how much?
BUBS: Good news, Strong Bad! You've made exactly one-half a big sack of cash!
STRONG BAD: {Whining} But I need an ENTIRE big sack of cash to fix my Fun Machine!
BUBS: Want a job? I sure could use a Second Second Assistant Foot Rub Jockey...
{As Strong Bad thinks, Game Larry appears in mid-air, but speaks in normal Larry's voice}
GAME LARRY: Rock and roll, Strong Bad!!
STRONG BAD: Or, I could form my OWN band, win my OWN Battle of the Bands, and use the PRIZE MONEY to fix my own Fun Machine!!
BUBS: I can't believe how much sense that makes!
STRONG BAD: {Turning away} Now, who's left to join my band?
{Shot of Homsar and the King of Town. The King of Town finishes eating a Wii remote.}
HOMSAR: AAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaa!
KING OF TOWN: Can I borrow a thousand napkins?
STRONG BAD: Aww, crap.
{Scene automatically changes to the DÖI stage}

[edit] Bubs → Cool Tapes

Before Cool Tapes joins the Battle of the Bands
STRONG BAD: You don't really think anyone wants to see Marzipan's crappy band, do you?
BUBS: Who cares if anybody wants to see 'em, so long as you entry fee 'em?
STRONG BAD: Hmm. Good point.
After Cool Tapes joins the Battle of the Bands
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs! I signed Cool Tapes up to the Battle Royale!
BUBS: Marzipan signed something YOU gave her?
STRONG BAD: Yeah. {Disappointed} But she told me to tell you the entry fee's in the mail.
BUBS: Didn't trust you with the money, huh?
STRONG BAD: No. She doesn't trust scorpions as hairdressers either.

STRONG BAD: Well, I've signed up the Cool Tapes, so that should bring in the hippie chicks, the muscleheads, and the whatever-the-crap-The-Cheat-is...es.
BUBS: Awesome!

[edit] Bubs → Pom Pom

Only available until Pom Pom joins the Battle of the Bands.
STRONG BAD: Is Pom Pom really worth trying to sign up for my concert? It's not like he can sing or anything.
BUBS: No, but boy can he tickle the ivories. AND the ebonies! I heard a rumour he's looking for a singer, though. Could be a nice addition.

[edit] Bubs → PomStar

Only available after Pom Pom joins the Battle of the Bands.
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs, I suckered Homestar and Pom Pom into performing at the Battle Royale! {Gives Bubs PomStar's entry form}
BUBS: Homestar and Pom Pom have a band? That sounds like a delicious catastrophe!
STRONG BAD: Oh, it will be. But hey, as long as Pom Pom's check clears, I'll happily watch as they go down in flames.

STRONG BAD: I'm a little worried about the potential musical catastrophe I'm midwifed by bringing Homestar and Pom Pom together.
BUBS: Ah, don't sweat it. You'd be surprised at the kinds of duos that have caught on over the years - Pork 'n' Leaves, Biscuits 'n' Foot Cramps...

[edit] Bubs → Bubs

Only available until the Two-O-Duo is reunited.
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Hey Bubs, why don't YOU enter my Battle of the Bands?
BUBS: Cause I'm not in a band any more. And battles give me gas!
STRONG BAD: What happened to you and Coach Z's band?
BUBS: {Pulls out a Two-O-Duo album, which Strong Bad takes} You mean Two-O-Duo? We broke up when Coach Z went soft. Our songs used to be about stickin' it to the man... and kickin' it to The Cheat...
{Flashback to Bubs, Coach Z and The Cheat standing in front of the brick wall, Coach Z and Bubs alternate between kicking the Cheat.}
COACH Z: My name is Coach Z. . . (kicks the Cheat)
THE CHEAT: Meh!
COACH Z: and Bubs is my cohort . . . (Bubs kicks the Cheat))
THE CHEAT: Meh!
COACH Z: So put on your Cheat kickers . . . (Coach Z kicks the Cheat AGAIN)
THE CHEAT: Meh!
COACH Z: and let's kicka the Chort! (Bubs . . . well, you know the rest)
{Cuts back to Bubs talking to Strong Bad}
BUBS: ... but now all he does is obsess over Marzipan and sleep in a locker. No, the Two-O-Duo is through-o until Coach Z starts acting like an O.G.

STRONG BAD: You sure you won't enter the Battle Royale?
BUBS: Not while Coach Z's still a sell-out.
STRONG BAD: Yeah, but what if he suddenly, I dunno, became cool again? {A long pause, then both Bubs and Strong Bad burst out laughing} But seriously...
BUBS: I might think about joinin' back up with the Thin Green Duke if he started actin' like his old self again, breakin' the law, raisin' the ruckus... the kinda stuff we used to rhyme about.
STRONG BAD: Break law, raise ruckus, got it.

[edit] Bubs → Two-O-Duo

Only available after the Two-O-Duo is reunited.
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: So, Bubs, is the Two-O-Duo ready for its big comeback?
BUBS: Heck, yeah! {Picks up a keytar and mimes playing it} I got Skeezy all tuned up and everything! {Puts it down again} And since I'm handling the logistics, I'll just take the entry form and the entry fee myself! Ka-ching!

STRONG BAD: Are you fired up to perform in the Battle of the Bands?
BUBS: You know it! Tell him, Skeezy!

[edit] Bubs → Cancel

STRONG BAD: Well, I got rock history to write. Catch ya on the flipside, Bubs.
BUBS: See ya later, promotinator

STRONG BAD: Well, that Battle of the Bands ain't gonna book itself. I'm outta here!
BUBS: Rock over London, Strong Bad. Rock on, Chicago.

STRONG BAD: Okay, the time for talking is over. For now.
BUBS: Come back soon! I'm always Bubs.

[edit] Stage Construction

STRONG BAD: That's looking pretty rickety, Bubs. What happens when the crowd riots and bum-rushes the stage?
BUBS: Rickety? I'm using galvanized nails, man!

[edit] The Stick

Before being toilet-papered
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: It's The Stick! {fanfare}
STRONG BAD: Keep on sticking it out, sticky.

STRONG BAD: It's The Stick! {Pause}
STRONG BAD: And, that's about all there is.
After being toilet-papered
STRONG BAD: I don't care what anyone says, I think you look better all covered in toilet paper. {Pause} Okay, okay, I'm sorry, okay? Stop giving me that disappointed look. Okay?

[edit] Bleach → The Stick

STRONG BAD: {Pulls out the bleach, then looks at it and the stick} Nah, one thing I've learned the hard way is that it's a really bad idea to mess with the local flora and/or fauna without a conventient patsy to pin it on.

[edit] Toilet Paper → The Stick

STRONG BAD: I never thought it WAS such a bad little The Stick. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love... and toilet paper.
{Strong Bad dresses up the stick in toilet paper, and tops it with the starfish, magically teleported from its previous location on the Gremlin's antenna.}
STRONG BAD: Merry Vandalism, Strongly Brown!
BUBS: {Walking up} Strong Bad! Did you scandalize and vandalize The Stick?
STRONG BAD: I'm an innocent man, Bubs, see? {Points at the Coach Z stamp on the toilet paper}
BUBS: {Incredulously} Coach Z?
STRONG BAD: Yeah, I know! Who'da thought?
BUBS: Man, he hasn't pulled THAT stunt since Halloween of '83! {Walks off}

[edit] Strong Badia

[edit] Strong Badian fence

If SECURITY is not painted on the fence
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: What the crap? Someone's been vandalizing Strong Badia's precious natural resources.

STRONG BAD: Man, repainting this is seriously gonna deplete Strong Badia's treasury. I may have to raise taxes! Sorry, Tire.
If SECURITY is spray painted on the fence
STRONG BAD: "SECURITY..." The crappy old job masquerading as a hot new band!

[edit] Aerosol Cheese → Fence

If the stencil is not on the fence
{First time only}
STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad sprays cheese on the fence} Hmm... yes! {Strong Bad has made a little stick-figure Strong Bad} Well, that was the opposite of good. I wonder if there's a trick to good graffiti?

STRONG BAD: I'm not wasting any more of this delicious goo until I figure out an easy way to vandalize with style.
If the stencil is on the fence
See Aerosol Cheese → Stencil
If SECURITY has been painted on the fence
STRONG BAD: I think that's enough cheese-ffiti for now.

[edit] Stencil → Fence

STRONG BAD: {Places stencil on fence} This seems like a good place for a stencil.

[edit] Aerosol Cheese → Stencil

STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad sprays cheese on the fence} Now THAT'S a spicy piece of graffiti!
STRONG SAD: {Walks up} Excuse me, is this the fabled fence where all the hipsters vandalize public property with the names of all their favorite bands?
STRONG BAD: Why, yes. Yes it is.
STRONG SAD: Ooh, good. I'm a snooty rock journalist looking for the next big thing... to be pretentious about.
STRONG BAD: Do tell.
STRONG SAD: "Security?" Hmm...

[edit] Stencil

{Only when on the fence)
STRONG BAD: Lookin' good. Now if only I had some spray paint. Or some spray... something.

[edit] Strong Badia sign

STRONG BAD: "Strong Badia, Pop: Tire." Pop... tire...POP TIRE!? Hey, that's pretty funny! Why did I never get that before?

[edit] Strong Sad

Only appears after spray-painting "Security" to the fence
In extended play
STRONG BAD: Y'know, the concert's over. You don't have to wear that jacket any more.
STRONG SAD: Well, since there's already so much positive buzz about them, I decided I would just go ahead and start a band called "Security" myself! Listen to my first hit single! {Sings to the tune of Hugo Left Me Miserable} Security left... security left--
STRONG BAD: {Interrupting} Yeah, that's enough of that.

[edit] Strong Sad → Strong Badian Fence

STRONG BAD: So, is Strong Badia's fence everything you'd hoped it would be?
STRONG SAD: And more! I'm especially intrigued by this new band called "Security." I've been hearing a lot of buzz about them.
STRONG BAD: You have?
STRONG SAD: Oh, sure. I can't go anywhere without hearing people whispering about "getting Security."

[edit] Strong Sad → Battle of the Bands Stage

STRONG BAD: Hey, I got a story for you, Mister Snooty Rock Journalist: "Prepare ye all butts for maximum kickage, as Strong Bad organizes a legendary Battle Royale of the Bands!!"
STRONG SAD: No, you're not.
STRONG BAD: No, really. It'll have security and celebrity judges and everything!
STRONG SAD: And ponies?
STRONG BAD: Yeah, and ponies! Whu-hey!
STRONG SAD: {Chortles}

[edit] Strong Sad → Security Jacket

STRONG BAD: {In his hyping-it-up voice} Check out this article of clothing.
STRONG SAD: What is it?

[edit] Strong Sad → Security Jacket → Angel

STRONG BAD: It's a security jacket. Y'know, the kind worn by security guards at concerts.
STRONG SAD: You can't fool me.
STRONG BAD: Huh?
STRONG SAD: You don't think I'm cool enough to be a fan of that cool new "Security" band that everyone's talking and vandalizing about.
STRONG BAD: Uh, yeah. That's it exactly.
{Continued below}

[edit] Strong Sad → Security Jacket → Devil

STRONG BAD: THIS, Brother Sad, is a tour jacket for the hot new indie band, Security!
STRONG SAD: Security? The hot new band that everyone's talking and vandalizing about?
STRONG BAD: That's the one!
{Continued below}

[edit] Strong Sad → Security Jacket → Either option

{Continued from Angel or Devil options above}
STRONG SAD: Where'd you get that jacket? I have to have one!
STRONG BAD: Yeah, good luck with that. These babies were all snapped up by the hipsters weeks ago!
STRONG SAD: Oh.
STRONG BAD: I guess I could let you borrow mine for a while.
STRONG SAD: Really?
STRONG BAD: As long as you promise not to get any failure on it.
STRONG SAD: I promise! I won't fail you. {Takes the jacket} Hip indie cred-ville, here I come! {Moves to put it on. Shot of Strong Bad covering his eyes, then back to Strong Sad with the jacket on} How do I look?
STRONG BAD: Like a guy who's totally tapped into today's underground music scene!
STRONG SAD: I'm gonna show this off to everybody! {Runs off}
STRONG BAD: Yeah, you do that.
{Scene changes to Bubs' Concession Stand. Strong Sad walks up, humming We Don't Really Even Care About You.}
BUBS: Hey! Security guy!
STRONG SAD: {As Strong Bad approaches in the background} Is that what they call fans of Security? Interesting. Well, hello yourself, Security guy.
BUBS: {angrily} No, dummy! {back in his normal mood} That's what I call dummies who have signed up to run security at Strong Bad's Battle of the Bands!
STRONG SAD: Buh-but—
BUBS: You're wearin' my security jacket, ain't ya?
STRONG SAD: Yes, but—
BUBS: So take this billy club and get securitizin'! {Gives Strong Sad the billy club}
STRONG SAD: Okay... {Walks off}

[edit] Tire

STRONG BAD: The Tire once told me he was a spare on Limozeen's tour bus, but I think he was just inflating his resume! {snickering} Pfff-pfhh.

[edit] Strong Badian flag

STRONG BAD: The Strong Badian flag is flying at half-mast until the Fun Machine returns to full-mast.

In extended play

STRONG BAD: At last, Strong Badia's long national nightmare is over!

[edit] The Whale

[edit] Drive-Thru Whale

{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Let's see what sort of gibberish the ol' Drive-Thru Whale is spouting today.
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: I'm a pretty girl! {The whale's water spout shoots off}
STRONG BAD: Well, that was unexpected.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: In the event of a firestorm, the salad bar will remain open.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Please smile for the Blubb-O satellite camera.
STRONG BAD: {Long overhead shot. Camera noise} What the—?
DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Thank you.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: {Plays a tune}

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: If you're dissatisfied with our service, please accept our invitation to bite me.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Woo-hoo!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Backing up may result in severe liver damage.

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: We hope you enjoyed your life, come again!

DRIVE-THRU WHALE: Welcome to Blubb-O's!

[edit] Hanger → Drive-Thru Whale

{If the hanger is used on the whale before the first time Strong Bad talks to it, then the first-time exchange between them is played automatically at this point.}
STRONG BAD: Watch in horror as I merge fish and technology in one ungodly combination!
STRONG SAD: {Walks up} Actually, the whale is really a mammal, and--
STRONG BAD: Rise, Fish-hanger, RISE! {Strong Sad walks away as Strong Bad jams the hanger into the whale's blowhole. Sparks fly} Sparks! That's an evil experiment's way of saying "thanks!"

[edit] Hanger

{Strong Bad rotates the hanger a quarter-turn}

[edit] Metal Detector

STRONG BAD: {Finds shoes} I can't wait to stroll down Hollywood Boulevard in these Hollywood Boulevardes! I gotta try these on at the photo booth.


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