Strong Badia the Free Responses (Homsar Reservation)

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"Sign me up for soccer class, Debra!"

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from Homsar Reservation in Strong Badia the Free.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


[edit] Homsar Reservation

[edit] On first arrival

{Strong Bad casually walks onto the scene, with Strong Sad wearing a belt and fannypack already there standing near a black trunk.}
STRONG SAD: Why'd we come to the Homsar Reservation? Even I think this place is boring, and they don't even speak our language!
STRONG BAD: It IS a barren land, yes, which is I, Baron Von Flexmypecs, need to conquer it.
STRONG SAD: {distressed} Can't we just go around? I wanna go home... {whining} ...pudding...
STRONG BAD: {distracted and surprised} Look ho! A floating man! I'll move in closer, and convince him to join the bad guys.

[edit] Strong Sad

[edit] When exploring the scene

STRONG SAD: Can we go back home now?

STRONG SAD: Is this going to take much longer?

[edit] While Strong Sad is suffering from pretendicitis

STRONG SAD: Oh, I don't feel so good...

STRONG SAD: I hope I didn't catch something...

[edit] Speaking with Strong Sad

STRONG SAD: Can't we go home? It's hot and I think I accidentally drank some of the water.

[edit] Strong Sad → Homsar

STRONG BAD: You're my cultural advisor. What can you tell me about this weird job and his gravity-defying ways?
STRONG SAD: It's all a mystery! Some say ancient astronauts may have left him here! Or... abandoned him, as the case may be.

STRONG BAD: Can't you tell me anything useful about the Homsar people?
STRONG SAD: Archeologists have been digging up ancient Homsartifacts for years, and they've only learned two things: They're weird and they talk funny.

[edit] Strong Sad → Speech Bubble

STRONG BAD: Can you understand what the natives are saying?
STRONG SAD: Of course not! Nobody's ever been able to decipher the Homsar language! Archeologists believe a combination of ancient artifacts may be the key... {starts speaking very slowly} but no one's ever found them. {speaks normally and slightly annoyed} Didn't you learn ANYTHING in your post-Strong Badian-secession history classes? That I held in my room in a little tent I made out of my sheets?
STRONG BAD: I don't study history, friend. I MAKES it.

STRONG BAD: We'll never get out of here until you help me translate what this goon's saying.
HOMSAR: Daaaaaahhhhh, I'm a knock knock joke about jogging suits!
STRONG SAD: I told you, Strong Bad! Nobody's EVER been able to translate Homsar's quote-unquote "language". Archeologists believe a combination of ancient artifacts may be the key... {starts speaking very slowly} but no one's ever found them.

[edit] Strong Sad → Cold One

STRONG BAD: Man, it's hotter than Strong Mad's armpit cleavage up in this place. I could really use a cold one. Or even a tepid one.
STRONG SAD: Don't remind me! I already drank everything in the canteen!
STRONG BAD: {alarmed} You DRANK the WATER? But it can cause dysentery, giardia, the vapors, catarrh, lybia, mozambique...
STRONG SAD: And inflammation of the pretendix! {concerned} I can already feel a rumble in my tumble...

[edit] Strong Sad → Thermometer

STRONG BAD: Are you feeling okay, Strong Sad? A-you don't look so good.
STRONG SAD: {worried} I know I'm gonna get sick! It's acute aphasic pretendicitis!
STRONG BAD: You made that up.
STRONG SAD: No I didn't! I drank the water! My pretendix is probably swelled up like a fully-satiated vampire's blood sac!

STRONG BAD: "Acute aphasic pretendicitis?" What are the symptoms of this made-up disease you think you got?
STRONG SAD: First you get a really high fever, then you start shaking uncontrollably. They say if it gets really bad, you can't even understand language! {shocked} My prose! What'll happen to my award-winning prose?
STRONG BAD: {thinking aloud to himself} Hmmm... how can these completely made up facts become useful to me?
STRONG SAD: I don't know! I don't want to have surgery in this backwards country!

STRONG BAD: Tell me again: How can you tell if you've got this cute, made-up -icitis?
STRONG SAD: First you get a really high fever, then you start shaking uncontrollably. In the worst stages, you can't even understand language!

[edit] Fake Sword → Strong Sad

STRONG SAD: Hey! My LARPing sword! Give that back!
STRONG BAD: {puts the sword away} Sorry, Dumpenheimer. I still need it.

[edit] Katana → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Nah, I've performed enough amateur surgeries on Strong Sad. Last time I left five pairs of scissors in there!

[edit] Lighter → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Nah. Setting fire to Strong Sad is so fourth grade.

[edit] Strong Bad doll → Strong Sad

{Strong Bad sneaks up behind Strong Sad and taps his left shoulder, putting the Clockwork Strong Bad doll in Strong Sad's fanny pack.}
STRONG SAD: {shaking and stuttering} I-i-d b-b-better t-t-take m-m-y t-t-temperature...
CLOCKWORK STRONG BAD: Jibblie jibblie jibblie jibblie jibblie jibblie jibblie...
STRONG SAD: C-can't st-top sh-shak-king!
{Strong Sad symptom is triggered.}

[edit] Pottery Shard → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: You're my cultural advisor. Is this busted pot worth anything?
STRONG SAD: Whoa, that's an ancient artifact from the Knock Knock Joke About Jogging Suits era! I'd give my left arm for something that valuable!
STRONG BAD: {agitated} Well if you told me that earlier, I wouldn't have gone to the trouble of stealing your pretendix!

[edit] Power Strip → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: What am I supposed to do with this old thing?
STRONG SAD: That's a priceless archeological find! That could be the key to unlocking the mystery of the Homsar people— err, person!
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} Yeah! Or it could just be an old rusty power strip.

[edit] Tuning Fork → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Check it out, Dr. Dumpington! This thing looks ancient!
STRONG SAD: Oooo, that looks like a rare Homsar artifact! It belongs in a museum!

[edit] 3-Ring Binder → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: Can you make anything out of this ancient writing, Strong Sad?
STRONG SAD: Oh, all that's written in the Homsar language! No one knows how to speak or read it!

[edit] After first symptom

STRONG SAD: {cautious} I hope I'm not coming down with something...

[edit] After second symptom

STRONG SAD: That can't be good. Does Homsar even know what a hospital is?

[edit] After third symptom

STRONG SAD: It's pretendicitis! I knew it! I got to find a doctor! Medic!
{Circle wipe, Strong Sad walks in.}
STRONG BAD: That was quick.
STRONG SAD: Turns out they've got subsidized healthcare here. And they let me keep my pretendix in a jar!
STRONG BAD: Awww man, no fair! I've been trying to have my pancreas jarred up for years!
{Strong Sad's pretendix (organ in a jar) is placed where the first aid kit used to be.}

[edit] Pretendix → Strong Sad

STRONG BAD: No way. If he wanted it so much, he should have taken better care of it.

[edit] First aid kit

{Strong Bad reaches for the first aid kit.}
STRONG SAD: Don't touch that! It's a delicate medical instrumènt!
{Strong Sad takes out the thermometer, puts it in his mouth, and places it back in the kit.}
STRONG SAD: You can't be too careful, traveling in foreign lands.

STRONG SAD: Cut it out, Strong Bad!
{Strong Sad takes out the thermometer, puts it in his mouth, and places it back in the kit.}

[edit] Lighter → First aid kit

First time only
{Strong Bad lights the lighter and holds the flame to the tip of the thermometer. Strong Sad takes out the thermometer and puts it in his mouth, then removes it.}
STRONG SAD: {shouts} I'm burning up! According to this thermometer {pronounced as "thermometeur"}, my skin should be melting off!
{Strong Sad symptom is triggered.}

STRONG BAD: Nah, that was only funny the first time I did it.

[edit] Strong Sad's Trunk

STRONG BAD: Strong Sad, do you HAVE to carry this huge trunk with you EVERY time you travel?
STRONG SAD: It contains all my delicate undergarments, and the various delicate creams and salves I use on my delicate personal areas!
STRONG BAD: Strong Sad, do you HAVE to give me the jibblies EVERY time I ask you a question?

STRONG BAD: A giant trunk filled with the unmentionablest unmentionables unmaginable.

[edit] Organ in a jar

{Strong Bad takes Strong Sad's jarred-up pretendix.}
STRONG SAD: Hey, that's mine!
STRONG BAD: Correction: it was yours. Maybe you shoulda gotten more pretend fiber in your diet if it was so dang important to you.
STRONG SAD: Pretend fiber gives me real tapeworms.

[edit] Mysterious bush

First time only
{Strong Bad reaches into the bush; the Homsar Reservation flag appears on the screen.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, it's a souvenir war flag from the Homsar nation! {grandly} The flag of a proud, weird person, rich with proud, weird tradition.

STRONG BAD: That bush doesn't really seem all that mysterious anymore.

After being lit

STRONG BAD: Any more words of wisdom, wise, not-so-mysterious bush?
HOMSAR: {offscreen} AaAaAaAaA, nice try, alligator!

[edit] Lighter → Mysterious Bush

STRONG BAD: Speak to me, O burning bush! {sets the bush on fire}
HOMSAR: {offscreen} AaAaAaAaA, nice try, alligator!

After being lit

STRONG BAD: That thing could not be any more on fire.

[edit] Homsar

STRONG BAD: Greetings, floatyman! My name is called Strong Bad. {Speaking in a halting, condescending tone of voice with exaggerated hand gestures} I need—to get through—your land—so I can clean—The Of Town's—clock. Do you understand?
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA, I'm a knock-knock joke about jogging suits!
STRONG BAD: I'm no linguini-ist, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't a "yes."

After putting a Homsartifact in the pylon

STRONG BAD: What's the good word, Homsar?
HOMSAR: {in a deep, articulate voice} Hello, Strong Bad. What's—{back to normal} a joke about jogging suits!
STRONG BAD Whoa! Did I almost understand something Homsar just said?

After putting all the Homsartifacts in the pylon

HOMSAR: {deep voice} Hello, Strong Bad. What's the haps?
STRONG BAD: {starts levitating} Hey, I can understand you now! Your voice is so soothing!
HOMSAR: Thank you. I do radio ads for local jewelry and watch repair shops. I'm sure you have many questions. Ask away.

In Extended Play

STRONG BAD: I wonder if the ancient wisdom of the Homsars is now lost to us forever.
HOMSAR: DaAaHh I'll take the last bus to the bake sale!
STRONG BAD: Yeah, maybe we're better off NOT knowing.

[edit] Homsar → Strong Badian flag

STRONG BAD: I think your weirdo country could really use Strong Badia's resources. Think of what you could do with our dirt! Our tire! Our superior fence-building skills!
HOMSAR: Pucker up, Diceman! I'm as upholstered as I wanna be.
STRONG BAD: {beat} Is that a "yes"?
HOMSAR: AaAaA, I'm as upholstered as I wanna be!
STRONG BAD: You've made that bountifully clear.

STRONG BAD: Come on, Floatentate! Get on the Strong Badia train!
HOMSAR: Pucker up, Diceman! I'm as—
STRONG BAD: {irritated} Thanks, that's enough! ...Boy, sure hope I'm not Diceman.

After putting a Homsartifact in the pylon

STRONG BAD: So, homslice, how's about joining Strong Badia and helping me wreck the Of Town's shop?
HOMSAR: Pucker up — {deep voice} my people risk open war — {normal} as I wanna be!
STRONG BAD: {confused} Which means... yes?
HOMSAR: {deep voice} Do not jump to — {normal} truck stop gravy!

STRONG BAD: Come on, Homsar. All the coolest people are joining Strong Badia. And Strong Sad too.
HOMSAR: Pucker up— {deep voice} my people risk open war — {normal} as I wanna be!
STRONG BAD: This is never gonna work.

After putting all the Homsartifacts in the pylon

STRONG BAD: Do you want to join Strong Badia and help overthrow the Of Town? Off a cliff?
HOMSAR: {deep voice} Why should my people risk open war for you and your considerable style?
STRONG BAD: We're not gonna risk war. We're gonna start one! Listen to what that royal boil did to me! First, he...
{Cut to Strong Sad's point of view.}
STRONG BAD: ...wrinkled the top off the breads and cereals group!
HOMSAR: {speaking normally} My baseboards are full of chicken sticks!
STRONG SAD: {confused} Whaaaaat?
{Cut back to standard view.}
STRONG BAD: ...and he's really fat and stupid!
HOMSAR: {deep voice} Hmmm. Then I have no choice. We will join Strong Badia. First for some sandwiches, then to die side-by-side in battle.
STRONG BAD: {hastily} Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody said anything about DYING.
HOMSAR: But first, you must complete the three ancient tasks of great boredom...
STRONG BAD: {annoyed and shocked} What?!?
HOMSAR: Nah, man. Just messin' with ya. Let's do this like Brutus.

[edit] Homsar → Strong Bad wearing Homsar's bowler

STRONG BAD: {imitating Homsar} I'm an all-expenses-paid vacation!
HOMSAR: Sign me up for soccer class, Debra!
STRONG BAD: Weird. I almost understood that.

After putting a Homsartifact in the pylon

STRONG BAD: Park them candy corns up the avenue!
HOMSAR: Sign me up— {deep voice} talking gibberish— {normal} Debra.

After Strong Sad complains of pretendicitis

STRONG BAD: {imitating Homsar} AaAaA, I broke the tip off my stipend!
HOMSAR: Sign me up for soccer class, Debra!
STRONG SAD: What are you doing, Strong Bad?
STRONG BAD: {imitating Homsar, now facing Strong Sad} AaAaA, save room for the laughtrack, Lowcash!
STRONG SAD: {worried} I— I can't understand what you guys are saying!
STRONG BAD: {imitating Homsar} I'm a fresh dipe, if you see what I mean.
STRONG SAD: {twitching} Oh! Can't understand language! That's one of the symptoms! I knew it!
{Strong Sad symptom is triggered.}

After putting all the Homsartifacts in the pylon

STRONG BAD: {imitating Homsar} Daaaaahhh... I'm the old jalboa jump shot!
HOMSAR: {deep voice} Why are you talking gibberish, Strong Bad? You sound like a two-years-old boy!

[edit] Homsar → Pylon

STRONG BAD: What is the deal with that rock with the glowy popsicles stickin' out of it?
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA, try some caked-on makeup from yesteryear!

After putting a Homsartifact in the pylon

STRONG BAD: What is the deal with that rock with the glowy popsicles stickin' out of it?
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA, try some— {deep voice} assemble the sacred elemental items— {normal} from yesteryear!
STRONG BAD: Ah. I thought it was something like that.

After putting all the Homsartifacts in the pylon

STRONG BAD: How does that popsicle stand work anyway?
HOMSAR: {deep voice} You have reassembled the sacred elemental items of collection. Ordinarily, you would have to face a punishingly difficult final dungeon and disappointing end cutscene. But the ancient prophecy foretold of a young boy that would one day come to usher in a new era of...
STRONG BAD: {interrupts} All right, shut up, filibuster. Never would've asked if I'd known you were such a windbag.

[edit] Strong Bad Doll → Homsar

STRONG BAD: I don't even wanna subject the cheap, broken version of me to Homsar's high-grade ridiculosity.

[edit] Pretendix → Homsar

STRONG BAD: {slight New York accent} Homsar's not in the market for slightly-used organs.

[edit] 3-Ring Binder → Homsar

STRONG BAD: You know what this thing's for, Homsar?
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA, hotel coupons for dinner again?!

[edit] Pottery Shard → Homsar

STRONG BAD: You're a total crackpot. I think this pottery shard belongs to you.
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA, hotel coupons for dinner again?!

[edit] Power Strip → Homsar

STRONG BAD: Need a spare outlet, floatyman?
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA, hotel coupons for dinner again?!

[edit] Tuning Fork → Homsar

STRONG BAD: This look familiar to you, Homsar?
HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaA, hotel coupons for dinner again?!

[edit] Homsar → Cancel

This scene can only be seen after putting all the Homsartifacts into the pylon and speaking to Homsar.

STRONG BAD: All right, put on your dancing shoes, Homsar. Time to make a move on the castle!
HOMSAR: {deep voice} I will follow you, my brother. And these ARE my dancing shoes. But first we must perform the ancient sacred ceremony my uncle Chet taught me when I was a kid. I've always wanted to try it.
STRONG BAD: Is it gonna take long? Or hurt? Or hurt long?
HOMSAR: Relax. Let the energy build. Join me in the summoning song... {a very low note} Aaaaaaaaaa...
STRONG BAD: {simultaneously with Homsar's chant, trying his hardest to hit the same note} Aaaaaaaa...
{Cut to Strong Sad's point of view. A quake is heard.}
{The pylon explodes, clearing the Cave Entrance and causing a ray of light to come through it.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa! Way to go, Uncle Chet!
HOMSAR: {speaking normally} Daaaaah I'm a song from the '60s!
STRONG BAD: {disgusted} Frantastic. He's back to abnormal. Let's get out of here, Strong Sad!
STRONG SAD: I can't wait to journal about the nightmares I'm gonna have from this experience.
{All three leave the scene through the Cave Entrance. Old timey music plays as the screen focuses on the map, with the Homsar Reservation now turning red.}
ANNOUNCER: The Dark Continent: The Homsar Reservation! Who else could bring modern conveniences to this backwards land, other than the intrepid emancipator Strong Bad? Welcome to the 20th Century, Homsar! {screen now focuses on Homsar} "Raised by a cup of coffee" indeed!
{The player is taken straight to Marzistar at this point}

[edit] Mysterious Pylon

STRONG BAD: A weird rock with popsicley crystals and a suspiciously obvious hole in the top! Could this unlock the mystery of the Homsar Reservation? And do I give enough of a crap to find out?

STRONG BAD: A weird rock with popsicley crystals and a suspiciously obvious hole in the top!

[edit] Glowsticks → Mysterious Pylon

STRONG BAD: Nah, if that thing got any glowier, it'd be visible from the moon. Which reminds me: {looks up} Hey, Astronauts! Where's my ice cream?!?

[edit] Pretendix → Mysterious Pylon

STRONG BAD: I dunno, man. Seems like a waste of a perfectly good pretendix.

[edit] First Homsartifact → Mysterious Pylon

{Strong Bad dumps a Homsartifact into the pylon; the screen flashes for a moment, accompanied by a brief rumble.}
STRONG BAD: Whoa. That made me feel a little... vibratious. I gotta do that again!

[edit] All Homsartifacts → Mysterious Pylon

{A white light shines from out of the top of the Pylon. The energy from it causes Strong Bad to levitate.}
STRONG BAD: I understand everything now! It's all so simple!
{Cut to Strong Sad's point of view.}
STRONG BAD: 'Twas the pride of the peaches!
{Cut back to standard view. Strong Bad stops levitating.}
STRONG BAD: Wow. That was vibracious AND floatacious!

[edit] Cave Painting (Mammoth Hunt)

STRONG BAD: Hmmmm, by deciphering these crude cave paintings and hieroglyphics, I believe I have unlocked the secret of the ancients: {turns around to face the camera} They were all dumb craps that couldn't draw a Sabretoothus Rex to save their leopard hide-wearing hides. {turns around and starts drawing on the wall with a pencil} A-let me show them how it's done...

STRONG BAD: More Stone-Age action! {draws on the wall}
{Cue the Cave Girl Squad mini-game.}

[edit] Glowstick → Cave Painting (Mammoth Hunt)

STRONG BAD: I'm savin' the glow-in-the-dark Teen Girl Squad for Issue 50.

[edit] Cave Entrance

STRONG BAD: These rocks are blocking the way. Maybe Homsar knows how to get through.

[edit] Cave Painting (The Stick, Mailbox & Cinder Block)

STRONG BAD: Looks like Homsar's written language is every bit as easy to understand as the spoken one.

[edit] Metal Detector → Cave Painting

STRONG BAD: {digs up a card} A papyrus scroll with an evil leprechaun on it! That gives me a great idea for... oh wait, that's supposed to be an alien? Oh well, I guess that'll work for Teen Girl Squad too.
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