Strong Badia the Free Responses (The Field)

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"This is pretty much the worst black market I've ever seen."

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from The Field in Strong Badia the Free.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


[edit] Brick Wall

[edit] Brick Wall

First time only
STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad discovers a flag, which is shown overlayed on the screen, music plays} A collectible souvenir flag from Strong Badia! I always knew you were loyal to me, Brick Wall.

STRONG BAD: I can't decide who I want to be the first up against this when the revolution comes.

[edit] Flag

STRONG BAD: The Union of Soviet Socialist Repubricks.

[edit] Bubs' Concession Stand

[edit] Bubs

First time only
BUBS: Heya, potentator! Weclome to Concessionstantinople!
STRONG BAD: Aww, Bubs? You made your own country too?
BUBS: Technically it's an autonomous commonwealth, but you got the right idea!

During extended play

STRONG BAD: How's business, Bubs?
BUBS: Lousy, Strong Bad. Now that the war's over, all these "Death to King Strong Bad" souvenirs are worthless.

[edit] Bubs → Strong Badia

STRONG BAD: You gotta join Strong Badia, man.
BUBS: This is neutral territory, Strong Bad!
STRONG BAD: Oh, I'm sorry, Miss wishy-washy little girl. Is the man who actually makes decisions at home?
BUBS: Ain't no money in takin' sides.

STRONG BAD: Everybody's joining Strong Badia, Bubs.
BUBS: Good! After you drive your economy down the toilet, everybody's gonna need to buy toilet paper from me!

[edit] Bubs → Bubs' Concession Stand

First time only
STRONG BAD: What're you selling, Bubs?
BUBS: I got all kinds o' cheap, completely legal touristy junk! And it's all 100 percent legal! We got cheese, and watches, and chocolate, and cheesy watches, and chocolate-covered cheese...
STRONG BAD: Where are you getting all this crap?
BUBS: Oh, I've been everywhere, man! From Coachnya to Poopslavakia! I could tell you a thing or two...
STRONG BAD: Um, then tell me.

STRONG BAD: Okay, Bubs. Give me one of those cheap souvenirs.
BUBS: Sorry, I'm all out o' the good stuff. All I got left is this Clockwork Strong Bad. {Places Clockwork Strong Bad on table}
CLOCKWORK STRONG BAD: {Nasally voice} Come toooo, the place where the tropical breezes bloooow (blurrrrrgh) {spews gibberish} kkk! chk-ang! {Breaks down} Jibbly jibbly jibbly jibbly jibbly jibbly. {Still audible when scene changes}
BUBS: Awww, nuts! Cheap, foreign-made... Tell you what! Half-off!
STRONG BAD: Half off? How could I resist?
BUBS: How're you gonna pay for that?

If the quesos aren't in the inventory

STRONG BAD: Pay? My credit's ALWAYS been good at Bubs's, Bubs! See?
BUBS: World's changing, Strong Bad! Can't build a global economy on deficit spending.
STRONG BAD: {confused} Guh. Words?
BUBS: {puts the doll away} I'm gonna need to see some cash, man!

If the quesos weren't in the inventory when trying to obtain the doll previously.

STRONG BAD: Okay, Bubs. I'll take that tiny broken me.
BUBS: {places the doll back on the table} How're you gonna pay for that?

If the quesos are in the inventory

First time only
STRONG BAD: With Strong Badian currency, of course. The most moist and juicy of all barely legal tender. {Places quesos on table, next to the still-jibbling Clockwork Strong Bad}
BUBS: 100 quesos? That's got to be at least a million poopees!
STRONG BAD: Keep the change, my good man! Buy yourself something dangerous. {Takes Clockwork Strong Bad, puts in his pocket} O-o-h-ohhh S-S-Simone! Th-that's an odd-d-d-d s-s-sensation.

STRONG BAD: Gimme another one of those cheap souvenirs, Bubs.
BUBS: You already took my last one! I had to clear everything out to make room for my... OTHER... merchandise. {Coughs}
STRONG BAD: Hmm, intriguing...

[edit] Bubs → Pom Pom

STRONG BAD: Do you know anything about the Pompomeranians?
BUBS: Oh, that place is like a second home to me! I go there all the time!

After the player visits Pompomerania

STRONG BAD: How did you get back here so fast from Pompomerania?
BUBS: I got a rail pass!

[edit] Bubs → Shadowed Concession Stand

This option only appears after asking Bubs about his wares twice, and will disappear after clicking it.

STRONG BAD: So all you got is cheap souvenirs? What about all the cool spoils of warring nations divided by political unrest?
BUBS: No way, Strong Bad! You won't see ME sellin' stuff like weapons, and fake IDs, and harvested organs...
STRONG BAD: Okay, but say I...
BUBS: I'm not done! And illegally excavated artifacts, and unlicensed merchandise, and pirated DVDs. {Pauses} Now I'm done.
STRONG BAD: Okay, but say I WAS looking for that stuff.
BUBS: Oh, you're lookin' for the Black Market! Don't know WHERE that would be! {Winks} Wink!
STRONG BAD: Hmm, VERY intriguing...

[edit] Fake Sword, Katana, or Organ in a Jar → Bubs

BUBS: Not here, man! Don't know who would be watching!

[edit] Bubs → Strong Mad

This option appears before buying the doll, but after visiting Country.

STRONG BAD: Do you have any souvenirs from Strong Mad's country, Country?
BUBS: They're a primitive, warlike person. Not too big on souvenirs. I've got some wadded up balls of paper and a macaroni sculpture of The Cheat if you want them.
STRONG BAD: I've seen Strong Mad's attempts at art and crap. I'll pass.

[edit] Bubs → Homsar

This option appears before buying the doll, but after visiting the Homsar Reservation.

STRONG BAD: Do you have any souvenirs from the Homsar Reservation?
BUBS: They're buried all over the place if you know where to look.

[edit] Sign

STRONG BAD: "Concessionstantinople. Population: Savings. Question mark."

[edit] Walk Around Bubs'

STRONG BAD: Whoa, must've wandered into the wrong side of town.

[edit] Shady door

{Strong Bad knocks on the door and steps back. A eye-slit opens, with Bubs peeking through it.}
STRONG BAD: Uh... hello, stranger. Is this the place to... pick up... my "packages"... from the legitimate... sweepstakes... fufillment... center?
BUBS: What? Heck no, Strong Bad, this is the black market! {Wall swings open, with Bubs manning it} What'llya have? Weapons? Artifacts? Organs?

{Strong Bad knocks on the door and steps back. A eye-slit opens, with Bubs peeking through it. He recognizes Strong Bad and the wall swings open.}

After acquiring the Pottery Shard

{Strong Bad knocks on the door and steps back. A eye-slit opens, with Bubs peeking through it.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Bubs, I wanna buy something.
BUBS: Sorry, Strong Bad. {Wall swings open, with Bubs manning it} Black Market's shut down. With all the money I made offa that pretendix, I can retire!
STRONG BAD: Then what are you doing hanging out here still?
BUBS: I like the intrigue. OR DO I? {The wall swings shut.}

[edit] Bubs → Grenade

STRONG BAD: Hook me up with some heavy ordinance. I got a The Of Town to depose.
BUBS: No can do, Strong Bad. Just got through shippin' out the last of my weapons.
STRONG BAD: Aww, not even one bazooka flamethrower that throws throwing stars?
BUBS: Nope! Sent those out to Coachnya. They're having trouble with the Fhqwhgadi rebels.

STRONG BAD: You don't have any weapons at all?
BUBS: Na, I'm thinkin' about gettin' out of the arms trade anyway. Something just doesn't feel morally right about it. Especially when I make so much more selling harvested organs and stolen cultural treasures.

[edit] Bubs → Homsar Stone

STRONG BAD: What are these "artifacts" you're talking about?
BUBS: Got one left: from an illegal excavation in the Homsar Reservation. They say it's priceless!
STRONG BAD: Okay, how much?
BUBS: I said it's priceless! No way I could just sell this to you, but I could trade it.
STRONG BAD: Trade it for what?
BUBS: Well, I'm out of just about everything, so make an offer.

STRONG BAD: What do you want for that "ancient artifact" again?
BUBS: Can't sell it, Strong Bad! But I'll trade it if you can find something valuable enough.

[edit] Bubs → Organ

STRONG BAD: I'm in the market for a new organ. Something in a pancreas, or a tasteful gallbladder.
BUBS: Fresh out o' organs, Strong Bad!
STRONG BAD: Yeah, this is pretty much the worst black market I've ever seen.
BUBS: Don't blame me, it's the King of Town buying 'em all up. Don't know what he's using 'em for.
STRONG BAD: He's probably building a mutant army of the undead! {Whining} I want a mutant army of the undead!
BUBS: He keeps calling them "giblets" for some reason. But I don't care, 'cause he's driving the prices way up! If you can get anything, even tonsils or a nice pretendix, it's worth a fortune. Any condition, no questions asked.
STRONG BAD: You're a shady, shady character, Bubs.
BUBS: It's cool in the shade!

STRONG BAD: What kinda organs are you looking for, again?
BUBS: If you can get anything, even tonsils or a nice pretendix, it's worth a fortune. Any condition, no questions asked.

[edit] Fake Sword → Bubs

STRONG BAD: What'll you give me for a cool duct-tape-forged weapon like this one, Bubs?
BUBS: For that old piece of junk? Nothing! You gotta trade me something valuable!

[edit] Katana → Bubs

STRONG BAD: What'll you give me for this razor-sharp samurai sword, Bubs?
BUBS: You know what Pom Pom would do if he caught me selling his weapons? You've gotta give me something a little less dangerous -- like stolen organs.

[edit] Organ in a Jar → Bubs

BUBS: Is that what I THINK it is?
STRONG BAD: Depends what you think it is.
BUBS: A jar of grandma's homemade gribbledangs?
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} Uhhh, no. It's Strong Sad's pretendix.
BUBS: A real live pretendix! Even better! I'll trade you for it, no questions asked.
STRONG BAD: What'll you give me for it?
BUBS: For one that big, anything I got in stock! Which is just this broken piece of an old pot.
STRONG BAD: {takes the pottery shard} Did I just get ripped off?
BUBS: {angrily} I said no questions asked! {closes the door}

[edit] Bush

STRONG BAD: {Grabs something} A souvenir flag from the cost-conscious nation of Concessionstan!

[edit] Cool Car

[edit] Cool Car

STRONG BAD: Even our trusty, somewhat rusty car, torn apart by political unrest.

[edit] Flag (front)

STRONG BAD: Front Seatzerland.

[edit] Flag (rear)

STRONG BAD: Hatchbackistan. "If this nation's a-rockin', you know what to don't come do."

[edit] Fence

[edit] Box

First time only
STRONG BAD: {lifts box, revealing a piece of paper underneath, music plays and overlay of the page is shown} Page three of my Algebros instruction manual! This one teaches the lethally educational "Logarithm Attack" move.

STRONG BAD: Whole bunch o' nothing under here.

[edit] Flag (back)

STRONG BAD: The Backfence Revolutionaries, struggling to overthrow their Front-au-Fence oppressors.

[edit] Flag (front)

STRONG BAD: The People's Republic of Front-au-Fence, bitter rivals of the Backfence Revolutionaries.

[edit] Snap Shak

[edit] Flag

STRONG BAD: The magical, physics-bending kingdom of Snapshakland.

[edit] Strong Badia

[edit] Game Board

STRONG BAD: Already my beautiful nation, defiled by litter... A-HA! This "Maps & Minions" board will be perfect to plot my course to world domination! {draws on map and half mumbles to himself} Borders here... and the ocean.. gather topological data from the survey team... put a dragon here... PERFECT! If I'm here {Strong Badia at the top of the map is highlighted and flashes, accompanied by a high pitched beeping} and I wanna get to The Of Town in his stupid castle here... {The Castle at the bottom of the map is highlighted and flashes, accompanied by a lower pitched beeping} hmm... I'm pretty much gonna have to lay waste to everything and crush all the free nations under the steel-toed boot of the Strong Badian Empire! I better get crack-alackin'!

[edit] Game Box

First time only
STRONG BAD: Strong Sad's old "Maps & Minions" board game. The Cheat's been trying to melt all of the game pieces together to make a super soldier. And ho, what's this? {picks up a stash of paper money next to the box} Perfect Strong Badian currency. I'll call them "Quesos." {Takes paper money} We've got an economy now!

STRONG BAD: It's an empty "Maps & Minions" box. "World Dominati-FUN for everyone!"

[edit] Lighter → Game Box

Before acquiring the Strong Badian currency

STRONG BAD: I should probably check if there's anything cool inside first.


STRONG BAD: Maps and Minions? More like Maps and Meltdowns! {sets the box on fire, causing it to vanish completely}

[edit] Sign

STRONG BAD: My lands have suffered greatly during my wrongful imprisonment.

STRONG BAD: Restoring the glory of Strong Badia, one fearful citizen at a time.

[edit] The Cheat

Before being annexed

STRONG BAD: THERE you are, The Cheat! Let's go, we've got an empire to build!
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Meh mezeh!
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} Whaaaaat? Is that any way to address your dictator and raquetball partner?
THE CHEAT: Meh meh MEH meh meh!
STRONG BAD: You can't secede from Strong Badia! It's... it's treason!
THE CHEAT: {Shrugging} Mehzemeh.
STRONG BAD: {angry} Fine then! What's your boring loser country for boring losers called anyway?
THE CHEAT: {Proudly} Meh Meh meh Meh!
STRONG BAD: {offended} The Cheat and Tirerea?! Um, you might want to rethink that one.
THE CHEAT: Meh mehzemeh!

After being annexed

STRONG BAD: Just look at it, The Cheat! All around you -- Strong Badia! From dirt to shining fence!
THE CHEAT: Meh meh meh meh.
STRONG BAD: Yeah, you're right. We gotta take over a few countries with some better scenery.

During extended play

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, next time I try to take over the world, give me a pinch or something to remind me how many rotten thousand-year-old eggs it sucked.
THE CHEAT: Meh meh!

[edit] The Cheat → Strong Badia flag

STRONG BAD: All right, all right. I know there's been tension lately, things were said, maybe I kicked some things I didn't mean... but come on! What's Strong Badia without The Cheat?
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Mezeh meh meh!
STRONG BAD: {Angrily, as well} After all I've subjected my loyal subjects to, this is how you treat me. Even you, Tire?
{Camera slowly pans around Tire}
STRONG BAD: Oh, that's just cold.

STRONG BAD: Why would you want to leave Strong Badia? What about the tropical breezes? The Cold Ones? The probably lots of chocolate?!
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Meze mehmeh meh meh!
STRONG BAD: I've ALWAYS appreciated you! I appreciate that little squeak you make when you get kicked... I appreciate that fresh mountain spring scent you get when I take you out of the dryer...
THE CHEAT: Mezemeh meh!
STRONG BAD: Of course you're important! You convert carbon dioxide into oxygen so we can breathe!
THE CHEAT: {Irritated} Meh meh meh.
STRONG BAD: Oh, right. That's plants. Well, whatever! Come on! What do you want from me?
THE CHEAT: Meh MEH meh meh meh!
Each time thereafter
STRONG BAD: You've GOT to join Strong Badia! Only united can we take on the barbarians to the south. And then we scrimmage against the East Bulldogs next Tuesday!
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Mezeeh! Meh!
STRONG BAD: {annoyed} At least give me my lighter back.
THE CHEAT: Mezehmeh, meh.

[edit] The Cheat → Medal

STRONG BAD: You gotta know you're my right-hand The Cheat!
THE CHEAT: Mezemeh meh.
STRONG BAD: {Enticingly} What if I make you my second-in-command?
THE CHEAT: Mfh. Meh!

STRONG BAD: All right, all right. I hereby name you my Vice The Cheat, Successor To All The Strong Badian Empire... except that {Shot changes to show a small patch of land} patch of dirt over there. {Camera returns to Strong Bad} I traded it to Strong Mad for one of those giant gummy foots. Ugh. He definitely got the better deal.
THE CHEAT: Mezemeh meh meh!
STRONG BAD: {offended} What do you mean, "official proof?" Are you applying for a passport or something?
Each time thereafter
STRONG BAD: {Enticingly} What if I make you my second-in-command?
THE CHEAT: Mezemeh meh meh!
STRONG BAD: {offended} What do you mean, "official proof?" Are you applying for a passport or something?

[edit] The Cheat → The Cheat → Angel

STRONG BAD: Come on, The Cheat. You KNOW the good times we've had. Remember back when we stapled that grilled cheese to Homestar's chin... this morning?
{Homestar walks past with a piece of grilled cheese stuck to his face, trying to shake it off}
THE CHEAT: Mmmmmeh meh meh...
STRONG BAD: I'll let you spend the night in the crisper drawer... while it's still in the friiiidge...
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Mah meh!

STRONG BAD: {Whining} Come on, The Cheat.
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Meh!

STRONG BAD: {Whining} Come on....
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Meh!

STRONG BAD: {Whining} The Cheeeeeat....
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Meh!

STRONG BAD: {Whining} Cooooommmmeee ooooonnnnn....
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Meh!
Each time thereafter
STRONG BAD: {Whining} The Cheeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaattttt....? {Staggers end t's}
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Meh!
STRONG BAD: Dang, he's serious! That was some o' my best wheedling. I think I pulled something.

[edit] The Cheat → The Cheat → Devil

STRONG BAD: You know you're too small and weak to take on the Strong Badian army.
THE CHEAT: MEH mehzemeh?
STRONG BAD: Oh yeah. Strong Badia never built an army, did we?

STRONG BAD: {annoyed} You don't even deserve to join Strong Badia. I'm better off without you.
THE CHEAT: {Indifferent} Meh meh meh.
STRONG BAD: Hmm, I guess reverse psychology isn't gonna work.
Each time thereafter
STRONG BAD: {frustrated} Just join Strong Badia before I punt you into the demilitarilized zone, Squeaky!
THE CHEAT: {Angrily} Mezemehmeh plemehhh!

[edit] Pilot Wings → The Cheat

THE CHEAT: Mehehme MAHehme?
STRONG BAD: With this medal of honor, I appoint you, The Cheat, Commander of my... Secret Sauce Police.
STRONG BAD: Let's put this family feud behind us, old friend. Act now, and maybe I won't have you hanged for heinous war crimes.
THE CHEAT: Mermehme meh! {tosses a lighter to Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: My lighter! I knew getting you back wasn't a total waste of space and time!
{Old timey music plays as the screen focuses on the map, with The Cheat and Tirerea turning red.}
ANNOUNCER: Dateline: Strong Badia! A nation long devastated by civil war: brother against brother, tire against cinder block. Now the long national nightmare is over, thanks to one charismatic leader. Strong Bad, your star is on the rise!

[edit] Lighter → The Cheat

STRONG BAD: No way, man. This is my eighth most prized possession!

[edit] The Cheat and Tirerea

STRONG BAD: {Distatefully} The Cheat & Tirerea? Nastiest name for a country I ever heard.

[edit] Tire

STRONG BAD: Steel-belted Traitor!

After The Cheat and Tirerea has been annexed

First time only
STRONG BAD: {searches the Tire and finds the Cheat and Tirerea flag} A souvenir flag from The Cheat and Tirerea? We'll see if you still hold out after you've been subjected to the Strong Badian Loyalty Re-education program, Tire!

[edit] Lighter → Tire

STRONG BAD: I'll have to find some other way to punish him for treason. Burning tire fumes make my puke throw up.

[edit] Metal Detector → Left of Strong Badia

STRONG BAD: {digs up a Strong Badia Shirt} Oh yeah, Gampaw's old war medals! {disappointed} Awww, they didn't grow into an undead soldier.

[edit] Metal Detector → Top right corner of Strong Badia

STRONG BAD: {digs up a power strip} All right! Look at all the rust on this thing. It's gotta be ancient! An ancient... {slightly confused} ...power... strip!

[edit] The Stick

[edit] Flag

STRONG BAD: The tiny noble kingdom of Shticktenstein.

[edit] The Stick

STRONG BAD: Despite all the political upheaval, everyone recognizes The Stick as hallowed ground.

[edit] Metal Detector → next to The Stick

STRONG BAD: {digs up a tuning fork} Found it! Some kind of grodalated... tuning fork?

[edit] Whale

[edit] Flag

STRONG BAD: Fifty percent off apple pie charts. What?

[edit] Whale

All lines are said at random when applicable.

THE WHALE: Eat portly accountants again soon!

THE WHALE: Please tie boards to the second window.

THE WHALE: Welcome to Blubb-o's. Can I have your mother's shins please?

THE WHALE: Supasize that with a monkey's paw?
STRONG BAD: Uh, no thanks.

THE WHALE: Lick the wounds, gentlemen. Don't forget to lick the wounds.
STRONG BAD: I... think I might.

THE WHALE: Have you fried our population bombs?
STRONG BAD: Some day, friend whale. Some day.

Only before The Cheat gives Strong Bad his lighter.
THE WHALE: Get your lighter from the anvil, please.

Only before The Cheat gives Strong Bad his lighter.
THE WHALE: Kids love our spicy hidden wings.

Only after Strong Bad speaks to Strong Sad in the Bleak House, but before all three of Strong Sad's documents are burned.
THE WHALE: Immolate your brother, please.

Only before the Clockwork Strong Bad is given to Strong Sad.
THE WHALE: Shake things up with our new Slappy Grill toys.

Only before locating all the Homsartifacts
THE WHALE: Pull forward for your metal detector.

Only after Strong Bad enters the Homsar Reservation, but before Homsar joins the Homestarmy.
THE WHALE: Cashiers cannot accept lost artifacts.

Only after Strong Bad enters the Homsar Reservation, but before he takes Strong Sad's pretendix.
THE WHALE: Our donor organs are always booked in pure dirigibles.

Only after Strong Bad enters Country, but before he ignites the pile of skulls on the bridge.
THE WHALE: Would you like flaming skulls with that?
STRONG BAD: You have to ask?
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