Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (Strongborneo)

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"NOW we are out of the boat."

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from StrongBorneo in Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


[edit] Strong Borneo

[edit] On first arrival

{Establishing shot through the... uh, jungles of Strong Borneo, and zooms in to Strong Bad and Coach Z sitting in the Riverquest Safariventure box.}
STRONG BAD: So here we are, braving the rapids of this turbulent river deep in the heart of the jungle. Gangs of angry street piranhas circle beneath us! Cannibals and volcanoes close in from all sides! And behind us, just out of view, is the three-hundred-foot jaggedy waterfall from which we just safely dropped.
COACH Z: Boy, am I glad you beat up that weightlifter ex-Navy-SEAL we had for a guide and decided to captain this boat yourself! Your quick thinking and superiour skills are the only reason we survived.
STRONG BAD: True, but we aren't out of the boat yet. {Jumps out of the boat} Now we are out of the boat. {Jump cut. Strong Bad is suddenly holding a map, and standing further forward.} Okay, according to this map, the formula should be around here somewhere. Look around, Renaldo, but don't touch anything!

[edit] In extended play

ON-SCREEN CAPTION: Set Tours: Strong Borneo
STRONG BAD: Check this out! This place USED to be Strong Badia until we gave it a total jungle makeover! Let's have a look around.

[edit] Bearshark

STRONG BAD: Okay, you prehistoric hunk of advanced technology, prepare to become extinct and obsolete respectively! Wait, how do you kill one of these things?

In extended play

STRONG BAD: A bear holding a shark is more than just a great action movie star. That thing's got "romcom" written all over it! {Movie-promoter voice} "In a shark-eat-bear world, they said their love would never last. But this holiday season, one bear holding one shark will face the odds, together!"

[edit] Diet Cola → Bearshark

STRONG BAD: I'm not putting cola on it and waiting for it to rust! I need a more immediate and preferably violent solution!

[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Bearshark

STRONG BAD: {Aims the nunchuck gun} Uh-oh, jammed! Good thing there are two sides to every gun!
{Swinging the nunchucks, Strong Bad jumps on Coach Z's head, then onto the bear holding a shark. The bear falls to the ground with Strong Bad on top, flailing at it with his nunchucks.}
STRONG BAD: Take that! And this! Oh, was that your liver? Well here's my fist! {Strong Bad flies into the air} And a boot to the head! And one for Jenny and the wimp! {Jumps back over the fence}
COACH Z: What happened to the monster?
STRONG BAD: {Dramatic pose} He's history. {Normally} ... And biology. And a little metal shop. Did you get the formula?
COACH Z: {Straightens up and holds out a handful of blue dust.} Oh no! I must have grabbed it too hard! It's turned to dust!
STRONG BAD: {Reproachfully} Renaldo!
COACH Z: Not to worry! I know someone who can help, but you're not gonna like it.
STRONG BAD: You don't mean...
COACH Z: That's right! Deranged rocket scientist Professor Experimento!
STRONG BAD: How could I forget? That whack-job got me kicked out of the space program back in '83!
COACH Z: Well, he's made a lot of scientific-ish advances in formula reproduction! He can probably recreate Cutesy Buttons' rainforest formula if you bring him some of this powderey goop!
{Strong Bad puts away the nunchuck gun and takes the powder. A jump cut, and Strong Bad and Coach Z are again at opposite ends of Strong Badia.}

[edit] Clicking on any other object in the scene

STRONG BAD: No time for that! I've gotta help Renaldo!

[edit] Hole

{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Hmmm, I think I see something. {Goes for the hole, but can't fit his hand} I can't quite reach it.
COACH Z: Let me try! My arms are longer and stickier! {Reaches into the hole}
STRONG BAD: No wait, it's a trap!
{The bear holding a shark pops up from behind the fence.}
STRONG BAD: {As the bear holding a shark} Rawwr! Grrraawwll! Screeech! Rooeeooorr!
STRONG BAD: Look out, Renaldo! It's a Western Lowland Grizzlysharkasaurusbot! And it's holding a shark!
COACH Z: {Attempting to pull his hand out of the hole} Help! I'm trapped!

STRONG BAD: I've already got what's left of the formula. No need to be sticking my glove where it doesn't belong.

In extended play

{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Man, we really abused Strong Badia's regal fence. Somebody's gonna have to get this thing cleaned back up!
HOMESTAR: {Walking up, singing} Doo, doo, doo {Speaking} Oh, hi, Strong Bad.
STRONG BAD: Hey Homestar, I'll give you a quarter to paint this fence!
HOMESTAR: A whole quarter? I've always wanted a lucky quarter of my own. I hear they taste like butterscotch mini-burgers! I gotta get some paint from Bubs'! See ya in a while!
STRONG BAD: Well, THAT was easy.

STRONG BAD: I've already got what's left of the formula. No need to be sticking my glove where it doesn't belong.

[edit] Metal Detector

STRONG BAD: {digs up a bullet and reads the writing on it} "Property of... Baron Darin Diamonocle. If found please return to Brainblow State Prison. Meet me in the back by the rusty fence." That sounds like a really bad idea. {puts the bullet away} Man, that guy can write really small! I guess that's what he uses that monocle for.

[edit] Plants

STRONG BAD: The jungles of Strong Borneo have many poisonous and man-eating plants. I'd better keep my distance.

In extended play

STRONG BAD: These plants? All fake! That's right, The Cheat and I spent like three days spray-painting garbage bags stuffed with my brother's old gym clothes! They also did a great job of re-creating that humid, musty jungle scent!

[edit] Knife → Plants

STRONG BAD: Hey, there is something stashed back behind these jungle leaves. {Finds a manual page} It's a missing page from the Rocket Operations Manual featuring a complete map of space! Unfortunately, this one is out of date. We now know that aliens aren't blue.

[edit] Renaldo

At the start of the scene
STRONG BAD: Any luck finding that formula?
COACH Z: Not yet!
While under attack by the bear holding a shark
STRONG BAD: How ya doin' down there, Renaldo?
COACH Z: Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be much more relaxed if you'd do something about that thing that's about to chew off my face!
STRONG BAD: Oh yeah.
After the bear-shark attack
STRONG BAD: How are you feeling, Renaldo?
COACH Z: Better now that you took care of that bearzo-sharko-robo-sarus-bot-amajig!
STRONG BAD: {Dramatic close-up} It's what I do.

[edit] Riverboat

STRONG BAD: There's no way this old Riverquest boat is gonna make it back up that waterfall. I'd better leave it here.

In extended play

STRONG BAD: At first, we were gonna film this whole scene in some rocky cave, but then I remembered that I had this old boat lying around! I was like, "what if this part took place in Strong Badia a la the Riverquest Safariventure from the "theme park" e-mail? I could dress up my cardboard box boat a little more, have the running hose be the river, have some crappy palm trees painted on the fence, and possibly encounter some headhunters or a bear holding a shark!" After that, everything else just fell into place!

[edit] Stop Sign

STRONG BAD: Clearly this is meant to scare people off. But for Dangeresque, it's just an invitation to get to the bottom of what's behind this sign.

[edit] Diet Cola → Stop Sign

STRONG BAD: I'm not putting cola on it and waiting for it to rust! I need a more immediate and preferably violent solution!

[edit] Nunchuck Gun → Stop Sign

STRONG BAD: {Aims the gun at the sign} Ptow! {The sign falls off the fence, revealing a hole} Ah-ha! A secret area for stashing valuable items, like, say for example, oh, I dunno... the rainforest formula!

[edit] Wet Area

STRONG BAD: Quicksand! This place is full of deadly pitfalls! Watch your step!

In extended play

STRONG BAD: Originally, I didn't plan to have quicksand in this scene, but when Coach Z got his boot stuck in the mud, I was like, "that's genius!"
COACH Z: Can I get my boot back now?
STRONG BAD: Sorry. That's part of movie history now.

[edit] Any item → Wet Area

STRONG BAD: That's quicksand, man! I'm not sticking any of my stuff in there!

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