Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective Responses (Old Club)

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search

Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from the Old Club in Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective.

On these pages, A → B (right arrow) means that the response happens when object A is used on thing B, or in the case of talking to other characters, the indicated sequence of chat topic icons are chosen.

A short horizontal line between two or more responses, such as the one above, means only one of the responses is heard at a time, and that the action results in a different response each time it occurs.


[edit] Old Club

[edit] On first arrival

{Strong Bad and Coach Z are seen at the entrance to the club when the scene begins.}

STRONG BAD: {angered, waving his fist} PERDUCCI!!!

{The camera swings to the other side of the club, where the King of Town and Strong Mad are waiting behind a card table.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Well, well, well. If it isn't Dangeresque and his little green sidekick, Renaldo! We've been expecting you, haven't we, Killingyouguy?
THE KING OF TOWN: I understand that I have something you want... the plans to the kidnapper's secret hideout!

{Strong Mad holds up the plans.}

STRONG BAD: {walks over to the King of Town} So just hand it over and nobody has to get hurt! ...Except everybody that's not me.
THE KING OF TOWN: Not so fast! I'm willing to turn over these important architectural documents to you IF you can best me in a gentleman's game of cards.
STRONG BAD: Fine, what's yhour game, Pure-dookie? Five card? Hold'em? Fifty-two pick up?
THE KING OF TOWN: Rock, Paper, Baccarat!
STRONG BAD: {confused} Uhh... of course. Being a sophisticated worldly traveler, I am intimately familiar with the game of Rocks, Papers and Burt Bacharach. {Camera pans up to Renaldo's face} But Renaldo here is an uncouth roustabout... {Camera pans back to Strong Bad} ...so you'd better explain the rules... for him.
THE KING OF TOWN: The rules are simple, each player is dealt 2 cards. You first, then me. Choose your best card and play it on the table. The player with the best card wins! Oh, and nothing beats Rock... except Paper. I'll give you a minute do decide if you wanna chicken out. If not, let me know when you're ready!

[edit] In extended play

ON-SCREEN CAPTION: Cast interview: King of Town as Perducci
STRONG BAD: We shut down this entire trendy pwarty cloughb in order to transform it into the abandoned warehouse set for the movie. Hundreds of innocent pwarty people lost their social lives, so that we could achieve cinematic greatness. {Close-up of the King of Town} The King of Town has reprised his role as Dangeresque's arch-nemesis, Perducci! {Pan to Strong Bad} The nice thing about working with the KoT is that he works for peanuts. Literally.
THE KING OF TOWN: {Pans back as he starts speaking} I've already blown through my cashew salary for the movie! Can you advance me some macadamias for my royalties on the merch sales??

[edit] Bottles

STRONG BAD: These "Ones" are all old and warm. {turns towards the camera} And all have light bulbs stuffed inside them apparently.

[edit] Rock → Bottles

{First time only. Strong Bad throws the rock, breaking a bottle}
STRONG BAD: Hey, I win! {Finds a Dangeresque figurine} Why look! It's a well-crafted miniature version of me! I'd buy one of these for $29.97 plus tax from your local retail establishment any day!

[edit] Fedora

STRONG BAD: {Jumps and grabs the hat} Another costume missing from the photo booth. Er, wardrobe trailer. I'll go ahead and put it in there.

[edit] Killingyouguy

STRONG BAD: Killingyouguy, is it? Why don't you go ahead and just give me the plans?
STRONG MAD: {struggling to remember his line} Uhhh... I'M THE HENCHMAN!
STRONG BAD: {understandingly} Right. I didn't think you'd do this the easy way.

[edit] Nunchuk Gun → Killingyouguy

STRONG BAD: {points the gun at Strong Mad and imitates gunfire} Pchew! Pchew! Pchow! Pchew!
STRONG BAD: Bullet proof?! That's hardly fair! {puts the gun away}

[edit] Painting

STRONG BAD: Whoa! That's an awesome painting! Where'd ya get it?
THE KING OF TOWN: None of your beeswax! And keep your grubby mitts offa my stuff!

STRONG BAD: The artist who made this must be a master artisan, with really minty breath! {exhales noisily} Ahh, ahh!
THE KING OF TOWN: Back off, buddy!

[edit] Perducci

Note that clicking on the card table still brings up the card game options.

Continually, after he uses the rock, but before Strong Bad uses it

THE KING OF TOWN: Mumble mumble mumble, and then HE mumble mumble. Mumble mumble mumble, and THEN mumble mumble. Mumble mumble mumble THAT'S when mumble mumble. Mumble mumble mumble, ooh wait, before that, mumble mumble. Mumble MUMBLE mumble hang on, let me start again, mumble mumble.

If the King of Town used the rock in the most recent game

STRONG BAD: You may think you've won this time, Perducci! But Dangeresque always has the last laugh... and the last danish.
THE KING OF TOWN: No one gets the last danish in my house!!

After Strong Mad plays the paper

STRONG BAD: Wanna go one more round, Perduuuucci?
THE KING OF TOWN: I think I've beaten you enough for one day, Loser-esque!

In extended play

STRONG BAD: So, King of Town, you've played the role of Perducci in earlier films. How does it feel to step back into the pinstrip├Ęd suit of Dangeresque's perpetual antagonist?
THE KING OF TOWN: Well, Perducci is an interesting and complicated character! He first comes across as hard as a jawbreaker. But then you start to see his softer sweet side. Mmmm. He has many layers, like a cake... {Getting more excited} delicious, moist cake. Ok, that's it, let me at that craft service table!

STRONG BAD: So, do you think you and Perducci have anything in common?
THE KING OF TOWN: Let's see... we're both snappy dressers, we both enjoy a good game of cards, and we both illegally traffic stolen goods through an unnamed fence in Cairo!
THE KING OF TOWN: Oh, AND we both wear hats.

[edit] Perducci → Play Game

STRONG BAD: OK Percuddi, let's play!
THE KING OF TOWN: Let the games begin!
STRONG MAD: {imitating a horn} DOO DOO-DOOOOT!
THE KING OF TOWN: {deals the cards} The name of the game is R, P, B! Two for you, and two for me!

STRONG BAD: Perducci! You and me! Let's go!
THE KING OF TOWN: Oh, it's on! {deals the cards} Here we go. Two to the player, two to the dealer!

STRONG BAD: Let's do this thing!
THE KING OF TOWN: May the best player win!
COACH Z: Sweep the leg! Sweep the leg!
THE KING OF TOWN: {deals the cards} Two to you, two to me!
[edit] Ace of Spades → Card Table
STRONG BAD: Ha ha! Chew on that, Perducci! The Ace of Spades!
THE KING OF TOWN: {half-heartedly} Oh no. You beat me. ...Oh, but wait? What's this? {lifts a rock onto the table} BOOYAH! I had a rock! I win again! {turns towards Strong Mad} Ha! Did you see what I did there? Pretending he won but then playing the rock?
THE KING OF TOWN: Oh, well let me explain it to you... You see, when... {speaks in light mumbles}
[edit] Any other card → Card Table
First round only
STRONG BAD: {Speaks first time only} Beat this. {puts his card down}
THE KING OF TOWN: Well played, Dangeresque, but see if you can beat this... {puts his card down}

{Strong Bad places his card down.}
THE KING OF TOWN: I see. I'll play... this card. {puts his card down}

{Strong Bad places his card down.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Hmmm... I'll go with this... {puts his card down}
Second round only
STRONG BAD: {Speaks first time only} This looks pretty good... {puts his card down}
THE KING OF TOWN: Beat this! {holds up the Ace of Spades}
STRONG BAD: The Ace of Spades!! That's the best card there is!
THE KING OF TOWN: That's right! I win! Too bad, Danger-dope!
[edit] Formula → Card Table
STRONG BAD: {confused} I guess, I'll play this... {puts the formula on the table}
{Skip to the King of Town's response in either the first or second round}
[edit] Nunchuk Gun → Card Table
STRONG BAD: {puts the gun on the table} Uh-huh...
{Skip to the King of Town's response in either the first or second round}
[edit] Safety Scissors → Card Table
THE KING OF TOWN: Scissors?! What the funny reference are you doing? There is no place in a game featuring a rock and paper in the title for scissors! Try again!
[edit] Small Rock → Card Table
STRONG BAD: Ah HA! I play a rock! {puts the rock on the table} And nothing beats rock!
THE KING OF TOWN: Aw, fishsticks! {realises the Rock rule} Oh wait! Paper! Paper beats rock! Quick, get me some paper!
{Strong Mad puts the plans down on top of the rock.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Whew! That was a close one! Nice teamwork there, Killingyouguy! {turns back to Strong Bad} Well, I think I have toyed with you long enough, Dangeresque. Clearly you are no match for me! Now get out and don't ever come back!

[edit] Perducci → Rules

STRONG BAD: How do you play again? I'm used to playing "Bangkok bloody knuckles" rules, not baby sister girly rules.
THE KING OF TOWN: Each player is dealt 2 cards. You first, then me. Choose your best card and play it on the table. The player with the best card wins!

[edit] Perducci → Shuffle

{First time only}
STRONG BAD: Shuffle those cards! And I wanna see your hands when you do it!
THE KING OF TOWN: {hesitantly} Uhhh... That's... gonna be a bit of a problem.
STRONG BAD: Fine, but no funny stuff!
{The King of Town shuffles the cards.}

{Second time only}
STRONG BAD: Shuffle those cards again! I don't trust your "ducci" style!
{The King of Town shuffles the cards.}

{Subsequent times}
{The King of Town shuffles the cards in silence.}

[edit] Nunchuk Gun → Perducci

STRONG BAD: {points the gun at the King of Town} Just hand over the plans, Perducci!
THE KING OF TOWN: Violence?! How uncouth! If you want the plans, play me for 'em!

[edit] Plans

{Strong Bad stealthily peeks at the plans from the height of the Card Table, before reaching for it. The camera point changes to another perspective, showing Strong Bad standing on a cardboard box against the table.}
STRONG BAD: {victoriously} I got the plans!
COACH Z: The plans! You got 'em, Dangeresque!
THE KING OF TOWN: {half-heartedly} What?! Oh no, I am bested. Go on, take them. I'm a failure! Boo hoo hoo...
STRONG BAD: {agitatedly, off-screen) More emotion!
THE KING OF TOWN: {starts crying} Whaaaaaaaaaa... Go on, Dangeresque, just take it and get out! Boohoohooo... Killingyouguy, get my painting and let's go!
{Strong Mad picks up the painting and both he and the King of Town leave the scene.}
COACH Z: Geez! I had no idea he was such a nancy boy! Ah, suck it up ya big baby!
STRONG BAD: Take it easy, Renaldo. It's not every day that a guy like that gets beat down so bad by a guy like me. ...I mean, it is every day, but especially today...veryday.
COACH Z: Yeah, who knew Perducci would turn out to be such a wuss! {suddenly becomes confused} Wait, what?
If the plans were recovered after saving the hostage
STRONG BAD: Well, we've got the plans and Dad's already waiting at the kidnapper's hideout! {walks towards the camera and turns his head towards Coach Z} Bust out your breakin' and enterin' shoes, Renaldo! We've got a paycheck to rescue. {crashes into the camera}
{The player is automatically taken to the Secret Hideout at this point.}

[edit] Renaldo

STRONG BAD: Hey Renaldo.

After Strong Bad gets the plans

STRONG BAD: I got the plans, Renaldo!
COACH Z: Great! Let's get outta here.

[edit] Renaldo → Perducci

STRONG BAD: Perducci will only give me the plans if I beat him at his own game. What should I do?
COACH Z: I dunno, Dangeresque. If you lose, that could mean-
STRONG BAD: {hostilely} Wrong answer! The correct answer is "Beat him bad, leave him with nothing! Mop the floor with his puffy white beard!"
COACH Z: {ashamed} Oh. I was gonna say that next.

[edit] Renaldo → Plans

STRONG BAD: Looks like Perducci's henchman has the plans, but I doubt I'll be able to talk him into sharing.
COACH Z: If ya want, I can go kick him in the teeth!
STRONG BAD: Easy there Renaldo, I just paid for your retirement party. I can't afford your funeral too.

[edit] Small Rock

STRONG BAD: {takes the rock} Never go into a game without a rock up your sleeve.

[edit] Table

STRONG BAD: Knocked over tables. The telltale sign that this place has been abandoned.

Personal tools