Crime and Punishment
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Despite its very low population, Free Country, USA has a high rate of petty crime, and few officials to enforce punishment.
Contents |
[edit] Crime
[edit] Strong Bad
While not a proper villain anymore, Strong Bad has committed more crimes than the rest of the characters put together.
- See main article: Crimes committed by Strong Bad
[edit] Homestar Runner
Whether due to Strong Bad's influence or his own stupidity, Homestar has had a few brushes with the law.
- Homestar has been naked in public at random times, but only got a criminal record in Homestar Ruiner after being forced to run past the King of Town naked due to Strong Bad stealing his clothes.
- Email stupid stuff — Homestar comments that he breaks into Strong Bad's house often.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2 — Homestar steals Marzipan's credit card to buy a racecar bed and tries to take prank calling lessons from Strong Bad.
- strongbad_email.exe Disc Three — Homestar admits to picking the lock to break into Strong Bad's house.
- Email bike thief — Homestar attempts to steal Strong Bad's Lappy 486.
- Homestar Ruiner — 3 different Homestars squat in the House of the Brothers Strong.
- Place Ya Bets! — Homestar plots to blow Strong Bad up until Strong Sad points out his "dynamite" is a bunch of candles with a drawing of a clock taped to them.
- Baddest of the Bands — With Strong Bad's help Homestar cheats at auditions for Pom Pom's band then later with Pom Pom's help cheats at the Battle of the Bands.
- I Killed Pom Pom — After Homestar thinks he's killed Pom Pom, he tries to dispose of the "body", fabricate an alibi of being at the King of Town's Castle during the time of the "murder", and frame Strong Sad and Marzipan as patsies for the "murder" before mistakenly, actually killing Pom Pom, trying to get rid of his "ghost".
- Haunted Photo Booth — Homestar, at the request of Marzipan, steals a photo booth from a wedding.
- Front Facing — Front-Facing Homestar helps Strong Bad convert his snow ball selling scheme into a full blown pyramid scheme.
[edit] The Cheat
True to his name, The Cheat has helped Strong Bad and several other characters to cheat at various sports and activities. He has also assisted with various, more heinous crimes.
- See main article: Cheating
[edit] Assisting Strong Bad
- The Luau — The Cheat helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan.
- Arcade Game — Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad all collect $500 per month each from Homestar in protection money.
- Email caper — The Cheat breaks into Homestar's house alongside Strong Bad.
- Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — The Cheat assists Strong Bad in his various crimes througout the toon.
- Email garage sale — The Cheat robs houses (and inadvertently kidnaps Homestar) so Strong Bad can sell the spoils at his garage sale.
- Email portrait — The Cheat vandalizes the Deutsch Master painting.
- Strong Badia the Free — Strong Bad and The Cheat staple a grilled cheese sandwich to Homestar's face.
- Best Caper Ever — The Cheat and Strong Bad somehow strand Homestar in the Arctic, a process that started with The Cheat peeing in Homestar's Melonade.
- Front Facing — The Cheat aids Strong Bad in his initial scheme to trick people into buying snowballs to the face.
[edit] Other
- Email lackey — The Cheat tricks Bubs into accepting pencil shavings as legal tender.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2 — The Cheat tries to prank call Marzipan.
- Homestar Ruiner — The Cheat puts a bomb in a paper bag marked "Coach Z" after the coach comments on him being unsportsmanlike.
- A Death Defying Decemberween — The Cheat assists Homestar's attempt to injure himself sledding down the Steep Deep.
- Homestar Runner Goes for the Gold — The Cheat keeps Dijjery Doo locked in a box in Homestar's shed.
[edit] Strong Sad
While usually very passive and accepting of his life, Strong Sad has lashed out on occasion.
- Email caffeine — While high on caffeine Strong Sad repeatedly slaps Coach Z and takes his hat.
- Email rough copy — Strong Sad pelts Strong Bad and The Cheat with snowballs that he put in the freezer when he was eight years old.
- DNA Evidence — Strong Sad conspired to steal his DNA evidence while under the guise of investigating it to keep anyone from knowing if he's part elephant or hippo.
- Record Store Day — Strong Sad freely admits to "creeping" sloshy albums out of the band members' girlfriends' trash.
- Front Facing — Strong Sad ends up part of Strong Bad and Homestar's snowball reselling MLM scheme.
[edit] Strong Mad
- A Jumping Jack Contest — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad to cheat at the jumping jack contest.
- The Luau — Strong Mad helps Strong Bad's theft of wood from Marzipan.
- Arcade Game — Strong Bad, The Cheat and Strong Mad all collect $500 per month each from Homestar in protection money.
- Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Mad "breaks" Strong Bad and The Cheat out of jail and attempted to smuggle a jackhammer in a cake.
- 3 Times Halloween Funjob — Strong Mad toilet papers The Stick and later attempts to TP Marzipan's house by punching a hole in her wall with a roll of toilet paper.
- Fall Float Parade — Strong Mad uproots and steals Bubs' Concession Stand.
- Email origins — Strong Mad tries to vandalize Marzipan with cooking spray and then assists Strong Bad in gluing her to Homsar and leaving them for dead.
- Email isp — Strong Mad literally sucks up bandwidth from Bubs.
[edit] Marzipan
Despite being, as Strong Bad puts it, "a dirty hippie, without the dirt", Marzipan has resorted to less-than-peaceful ways of making her opinion heard.
- Email coloring — Marzipan openly admits to Strong Bad that L.U.R.N. is a "pretty standard" cult.
- Quality Time with Cardboard Homestar — Marzipan locks Homestar in her closet for 3 weeks after she told him there was a cake in there.
- Email bike thief — Marzipan steals Homestar's bike from Strong Bad using the same clipboard method he did.
- Baddest of the Bands — Marzipan hits Strong Bad with her guitar when he says he does not think she is hot, and Strong Bad later recalls her "protesting [him] into next week" by hitting him into the pond. She also publicly slanders Limozeen with an anti-Limozeen anthem after falsely believing that they are cruel to women and wildlife, and continues to bash them while ignoring her now protesting audience telling her to stop, even going so far as to beat any future gig offers away with a stick so she can keep singing her anthem to any anti-Limozeen audiences she can find.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — Marzipan stabs Strong Bad with a pencil off-camera in retribution for him endangering Credenza for the shot.
- Career Day — When Homestar asks if a social worker is coming to L.U.R.N. that day, Marzipan dismisses it and says "That's all taken care of. The charges were dropped."
- hremail 3184 — Marzipan steals Gardenboy's garden tools to help Strong Bad assault Homestar.
- Haunted Photo Booth — Marzipan has Homestar steal a photo booth from a wedding for her Halloween party.
[edit] Bubs
- See main article: Bubs's Shady Business Practices
[edit] Non-business crimes
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0 — Bubs kicks Coach Z in the crotch for Marzipan.
- A Folky Tale — Bubs helps Coach Z hide when he thinks he killed Strong Sad. Bubs also tells Homestar to get out of town and lay low for a while.
- The Baloneyman — Bubs runs over Strong Sad and his book stand with the Baloney Sammich truck.
- Email original — Bubs punches Strong Bad for claiming that he wasn't the original Bubs.
- Strong Badia the Free — When Strong Bad asks Bubs if he can do any tricks with bottles, Bubs replies, "You mean like break them over the counter and use them to stab anyone who asks me dumb questions?"
- Most in the Graveyard — Bubs punches Coach Z to the ground after Coach Z implies that he fancies Bubs's sister.
- I Killed Pom Pom — Bubs implies he's killed at least one person by "mistake" in the past and gives Homestar advice on how to get away with it.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 — Bubs complains that he's known more for stealing an aircraft carrier than for having a catchphrase.
[edit] Coach Z
On top of his already questionable accent and odors, Coach Z has done quite a few questionable acts.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2 — Coach Z lets it slip that he has broken into Marzipan's house before.
- A Folky Tale — Upon thinking he's killed Strong Sad, Coach Z hides from the law in the ceiling of Bubs' Concession Stand.
- Email trading cards — Strong Bad implies that Coach Z's butt-patting got him in legal trouble in seven states.
- Email cliffhangers — Coach Z traps the Thnikkaman in a locker in an attempt to uncover his secret "sorcret" identity to render him useless as a Thnikkaman.
- DNA Evidence — Under the guise of Damp Towelman, Coach Z steals the DNA evidence-soaked towel to help him clean up lasagna stains at work.
- Baddest of the Bands — Coach Z breaks Marzipan's window and her restraining order on her house.
- On Break — Coach Z inadvertently kidnaps a child with his Blubb-O's Drive-Thru Whale costume and decides to leave the child there for at least a week.
- I Killed Pom Pom — Coach Z implies he's killed at least one person in the past "in cold blood" and gives Homestar advice on how to get away with it.
- Mr. Poofers Must Die — Coach Z boasts of being "fatally irresponsible" with animals.
[edit] The King of Town
Being the glutton that he is, the King of Town has been known to eat food (and not food) that doesn't belong to him.
- Email suntan — The King of Town steals Strong Bad's cocoa butter and animal phat.
- 3 Times Halloween Funjob — The King of Town eats Marzipan's candy corn lights and then denies having done anything wrong when Marzipan tells him to stop doing it.
- Email original — The King of Town (somehow) eats all the mayonnaise off Original Bubs's egg salad.
- Homestar Ruiner — The King of Town continually devours the Choco-Opps Strong Bad tries to leave Marzipan.
- Strong Badia the Free — The Of Town rises up against King Strong Bad's Creamy Ding Snack Cake tax.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — In his cast interview, the King of Town lets slip that he's hiring people overseas to steal priceless art to sell on the black market like Perducci.
- Most in the Graveyard — The King of Town is implied to have stolen Strong Bad's pickled monkey fingers.
- I Killed Pom Pom — The King of Town eats the Poopsmith's whatsit pile and frames Homestar for it.
[edit] Pseudocharacters
- Email couch patch — The Compy 386 somehow makes The Cheat's head explode.
- Email cliffhangers and retirement — The broken Tandy 400 and shotgunned Compy 386 kidnap the Lappy 486.
- Email email thunder — The Paper beats up the New Paper.
[edit] Teen Girl Squad
- The Arrow'd Guy frequently kills the girls in weird and amusing fashions.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 8 — Tompkins is sent to the principal's office for stealing a Sega tape.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 11 — So and So shoplifts from the shirt folding store she's working in.
- 4 Gregs — Open Source Greg launches a denial of service attack against Tompkins's website thinking it was the Concession Stand.
[edit] Old-Timey
- Parsnips-a-Plenty — Old-Timey Strong Bad, Strong Man and The Sneak steal all the parsnips from Old-Timey Bubs so that The Homestar Runner will go hungry.
- Ballad of the Sneak — The Sneak has dropped The Homestar Runner from his flying machine, put a Bengal tiger in the Kaiser's latrine, and ate the Barbershop Trio's Fluffy Puff confections.
- That a Ghost — Fat Dudley tries to drink some hooch.
- Decemberween Short Shorts — Rumble Red is beheaded by Old-Timey Marzipan's machine, which she gave to him as a Decemberween present.
- Sickly Sam's Big Outing — Old-Timey Strong Bad attempts to sell Sickly Sam to the glue factory, which involves The Sneak threatening him with a knife and Old-Timey Strong Bad holding him at gun point with his pistola. When the film glitches, he's seen trying to kill The Homestar Runner and Old-Timey Marzipan on a saw mill.
[edit] Cheat Commandos
Despite their mission of "probably battling evil", the Cheat Commandos' records are not exactly spotless.
- Commandos in the Classroom — The Cheat Commandos enjoy watching pony fights. In the video, the Blue Laser Minions try to talk Fightgar into shoplifting wine coolers.
- Let us give TANKS! — Gunhaver sticks a nuclear device in Blue Laser Commander's oven as a backup which then explodes, taking out the cottage.
- Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 1 — The Cheat Commandos keep Reynold locked in his office without food.
- Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 2 — Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Crackotage and the Topplegangers bust Blue Laser Commander out of jail (Reynold's office). Gunhaver also shoots Flashfight, though it is unknown if he died or not.
[edit] Puppet Stuff
- Puppet Time — Puppet Homestar and Puppet The Cheat "borrow" Strong Bad's stuff, including the Compy 386.
- The Animated Adventures of Puppet Homestar — Puppet Strong Bad steals Puppet Homestar's pile.
[edit] Dangeresque
- Email stunt double — Dangeresque's mission is to track down a stolen tape. Baron Darin Diamonocle tries to kill Dangeresque by dropping the Heavy Lourde on him.
- The Theme from Dangeresque II — Dangeresque claims to fight the law more than he fights the crime.
- Email dangeresque 3 — Perducci intercepts the serum, and if it's not delivered, Cutesy Buttons will be kidnapped.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — Dangeresque steals priceless paintings that were evidence, frames Diamonocle for endangered puppy trafficking and the murder of several presidents, and tricks Sultry Buttons into giving him several stolen jewels.
- Dangeresque: Puppet Squad — Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too track down Szechuan Steve, "the guy who stole [Dangeresque's] curly fries that one time".
- Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque — Dangeresque, under threat of arrest for not solving a case, forges evidence for it and evades capture when found out.
- Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack — Dangeresque and Firebert team up to foil a Hot Jones smuggling operation.
- Dangeresque: The Roomisode Triungulate
- Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque: The remake of the Flash case includes a new puzzle where Dangeresque tampers with the cable of the neighborhood.
- Dangeresque Roomisode 2: The Intersection of Doom & Boom — Dangeresque smashes a street light and can optionally smash a bar sign while shutting off the power to a bar.
- Dangeresque Roomisode 3: Keep my Enemies, Loser — Dangeresque is strong-armed into helping Perducci survive four assassination attempts before he retaliates by performing his own.
[edit] Punishment
Due to the lack of authority and law enforcement, most crimes are unprosecuted. There have been a few cases of characters receiving some form of formal punishment.
[edit] Occurrences
- Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon — Strong Bad and The Cheat get sent to "jail" (a cardboard box with a window cut out of it to resemble bars) twice for trying to break into Bubs' Concession Stand and kidnapping the Poopsmith.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 11 — So and So is sent to prison for "life plus whenever [her] step-mom picks [her] up", presumably for shoplifting from the shirt-folding store where she has a summer job.
- Teen Girl Squad Issue 13 — So and So reacts to the arrival of the police by saying "I can't do another nickel!"
- Toikey TV — Bubs mentions tear gas and riot police as a scheduled result of Bubs Friday sales.
- Play Date — Bubs and Coach Z get sent to federal and juvenile prison respectively for unspecified reasons.
- Blubb-O's Commercial — Strong Sad tells Coach Z it seems like he's trying to go to prison, to which he replies, "Hey, three square meals a day!"
- Homestar Ruiner — The King of Town places a criminal record on Homestar for public nudity and orders the Poopsmith and Strong Mad to guard it.
- Strong Badia the Free — The King of Town places Strong Bad under house arrest for not paying the new email tax. Coach Z also mentions that "[he] can't go back to the joint". Strong Sad refuses to help Strong Bad escape, saying "I don't want to get charged with aiding and abetting a criminal again!"
- Baddest of the Bands — Biscuitdoughhandsman is on the FBI most wanted list.
- Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective — Baron Darin Diamonocle is incarcerated in Brainblow City Prison after Dangeresque frames him. The Extended Play also reveals that Bubs' Concession Stand was originally a mini jail with Bubs as the solo inmate.
- Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque — Dangeresque is threatened with prison if he doesn't solve a case he put off, and if he fails to fake the evidence in a game over, he will be arrested by a SWAT team and sent to jail.
- Email other days and A Death Defying Decemberween — Strong Bad mentions that he is on parole and has to do community service.
- Cheat Commandos: Two Part Episode: Part 1 — After taking over the Cheat Commandos, Flashfight arrests Blue Laser Commander and throws him in the brig (Reynold's office).
- Punkin Stencils — Homestar recalls getting shut down and fined twice by "the city" for leaving out a pumpkin of the Goblin on the porch until it actually turned green.
- Fan Costumes '09 — Crack Stuntman says his work with Pistols for Pandas is court ordered.
- The House That Gave Sucky Tricks — After Marzipan tells the King of Town to arrest Strong Bad, the King expresses surprise that he has the power to arrest people. It's also shown that the King has the authority to execute people, as is demonstrated with Homsar.
- Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 — Coach Z gets tried as a minor for an unspecified crime which got him labelled as a flight risk, and Strong Sad gets arrested for something involving jodhpurs; both are placed in the Free Country USA Penitentiary for their crimes.
- Later That Night... — While giving out melty candy bars to Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Strong Mad, Senor Cardgage says he'll call the police, greatly confusing Strong Bad.
- Dangeresque Roomisode 2: The Intersection of Doom & Boom — Dangeresque tricks the unknown bar patron on the Rig Rug machine into activating a "cheat code" that gets him nabbed by "The Feds".
[edit] See Also
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