Dangeresque: THREE in 3D

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 20:56, 29 July 2009

Now in 3D!

Strong Bad finally makes good on his promise of making Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective in 3D!

Cast (in order of appearance):

• Strong Bad as Dangeresque
• Coach Z as Renaldo
• Bear Holding a Shark as a prehistoric robot dinosaur
• Homestar Runner as Dangeresque Too and Uzi Bazooka
• Marzipan as Cutesy Buttons
• The Cheat as Craig
• Strong Mad as Killingyouguy
• Senor Cardgage as Dadgeresque
• Cardboard Marzipan as Cutesy Buttons stunt double
• Strong Sad as The Stunt Double
• Bubtronic Security Robot as Dangcaresque Autopilot

Places: Office, Strongborneo, Brainblow City Prison, DangCar-esque, The Sun

Running Time: 8:16

DVD Exclusive: SBCG4AP Collector's DVD

Transcript

{Opens to a black screen. Music starts to play. White text appears: "Find some 3D glasses/and put them on!". Then the text gets a blurry shine effect. Text is wiped off the screen and music ends.}

{The screen fades in on The Cheat's flipper-like hand holding up a crude title card reading the movie title, backed by the Smokey Office. All the footage is in black and white, with magenta and cyan overlays for the 3D effect. The Cheat then removes the card as Strong Bad as Dangeresque says the following line:}

STRONG BAD: {talking on the phone} Yeah, well, I don't care what the FBI, CIA, RGB and XFL say! I already returned the priceless paintings that were evidence!

{Strong Bad hangs up the phone and faces the camera}

STRONG BAD: Dangeresque plays by his own rules!

{Strong Bad turns his head to his right (the viewer's left) as he hears the door knocking.}

{Cut to establishing shot through the... uh, jungles of Strong Borneo, and zooms in to Strong Bad and Coach Z sitting in the Riverquest Safariventure box.}

STRONG BAD: So here we are, braving the rapids of this turbulent river deep in the heart of the jungle. {cut to low shot} Gangs of angry street piranhas circle beneath us! {Cut to shot behind Coach Z} Cannibals and volcanoes close in from all sides! And behind us, {zoom in on Strong Bad} just out of view, is the three-hundred-foot jaggedy waterfall from which we just safely dropped.

COACH Z: {close-up} Your quick thinking and superiour skills are the only reason we survived.

STRONG BAD: True, but we aren't out of the boat yet. {Jumps out of the boat} Now we are out of the boat.

{Jump cut. Strong Bad is aiming the Nunchuck Gun}

STRONG BAD: Freeze, scumbot! Uh-oh, jammed! Good thing there are two sides to every gun!

{Swinging the nunchucks, Strong Bad jumps on Coach Z's head, then onto the bear holding a shark. The bear falls to the ground with Strong Bad on top, flailing at it with his nunchucks.}

STRONG BAD: Take that! And this! Oh, was that your liver? Well here's my fist! {Strong Bad flies into the air} And a boot to the head! And one for Jenny and the wimp! {Jumps back over the fence}

COACH Z: What happened to the monster?

STRONG BAD: {Dramatic pose} He's history. {Zoom in; normally} ... And biology. And a little metal shop. Did you get the formula?

COACH Z: {Straightens up and holds out a handful of dust.} Oh no! I must have grabbed it too hard! It's turned to dust!

STRONG BAD: {Reproachfully} Renaldo!

COACH Z: Not to worry! I know someone who can help, but you're not gonna like it.

{Cut to Strong Bad climbing to the roof of Bubs' Concession Stand.}

STRONG BAD: {grunt} Come on guys, according to... {pulls himself onto the roof with another grunt} ...Perducci's plans, the best way to break in is through the roof!

{The camera swings around, showing Homestar present in the scene.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's what I wanted you to think! You fell right into our trap!

{The camera pans out to show him standing near Strong Mad and the Cheat, with Marzipan standing behind them. The camera then changes viewpoint to show Strong Bad, now standing near Coach Z and Senor Cardgage.}

COACH Z: Holy gorsh! It's Dangeresque Too?

STRONG BAD: {shocked} Dangeresque Too? How could you? And with such an awesome name. {raises his fist and speaks bitterly and slowly} I thought we were friends!

SENOR CARDGAGE: {walks around behind Strong Bad} Is this where I pawnder my old pidgeon?

{Camera view changes back to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You thought wrong, Dangeresque! Call me... UZI BAZOOKA!

THE CHEAT: {lowers his bazooka} Mehr!

HOMESTAR: Now, give me the formula and I'll give you this computer disk of highly important rocket launch codes! {holds up a floppy disk}

{Marzipan walks to Homestar's left and pinches the disk from him.}

MARZIPAN: I've got the disks! Good work stalling them until I could clear an escape route, Dangeresque!

HOMESTAR: Hey, you tricked me! Take 'em down, Killingyouguy!

STRONG BAD: {turns away from Homestar, with Marzipan and Coach Z doing the same} Uh oh! Looks like we're gonna have to jump!!

{All three prepare to jump. The scene cuts to the jump being enacted by their respective stunt doubles - Strong Sad, Cardboard Marzipan and a bonsai tree with Coach Z's Z, though Cardboard Marzipan and the bonsai tree are the wrong way around. All three of them land flat on their faces. Cue a jump cut to Strong Bad, Marzipan and Coach Z standing up from that position, in the same order as they were on the roof.}

COACH Z: That was close! {points ahead of him} Uh oh, here they come!

STRONG BAD: Everybody scatter! We'll meet up at the rendez-vous {pronounced "rondess-vouce"} point!

{All three run in different directions. After they all leave, Coach Z walks to the other side of the camera's viewpoint, presumably to turn it off.}

{The camera zooms in towards the car, with Strong Bad driving in it. The Cheat can be seen in the background moving a tree back and forth, simulating the car's movement.}

STRONG BAD: {holds a VCR to the side of his head} You got the- you got the Big Daddy D calling all agents! Please check in!

MARZIPAN: {voiceover} Breaker, breaker! I lost track of Renaldo, but I'm catching up fast! I'll be there as soon as I can! Over! {imitates static}

STRONG BAD: Make it snappy, Yellow 5! {camera zooms out to show Strong Mad "chasing" him} I've got a smokey on my six... and this round... sixes are wild! {puts down the VCR}

{The camera moves to give the illusion of the car taking hard corners.}

STRONG BAD: AND MY BRAKES HAVE BEEN CUT! Looks like I'll have to do some extravehicular activities. Good thing my car was recently upgraded to receive voice commands... which I'll probably only use this one time and then forget about it forever. Take over, auto-autopilot!

{Strong Bad jumps up onto the roof of the car, with the autopilot - Bubs's security robot - taking over the driving.}