Cheat Commandos...O's
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Time to Break...Fast!
Some Cheat Commandos look for the secret desert headquarters of Blue Laser. Some product placement ensues.
Cast (in order of appearance): Fightgar, Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Firebert, Blue Laser Commander, Blue Laser minion, Crackotage, Ser-g-geant Marshie
Places: Secret Desert Headquarters, Blue Laser's Nana's Backyard
Date: May 31, 2004
Running Time: 2:13
Page Title: Breakfast is Fundamental
Contents |
Transcript
{The cartoon starts with a military soundtrack and a desert landscape. A title comes up saying "TIME TO BREAK...FAST!" written by A. Chimendez. The commandos appear in the distance, climbing over a dune.}
FIGHTGAR: It's gotta be a hundred degrees out here and I'm running on empty!
GUNHAVER: Come on, Fightgar! Just a little further! {he pulls a paper from his jacket} The secret entrance to Blue Laser’s secret desert headquarters has to be in this secret desert somewhere!
SILENT RIP: You'd think so, but are we even sure they have a desert hideout?
GUNHAVER: I think I remember hearing something about it on the...news...
{cut to Blue Laser's secret headquarters. He's watching the Commandos on a video feed.}
BLUE LASER COMMANDER: The Cheat Commandos will never find our desert headquarters, since we relocated to my nana's backyard!
{ominous music}
BLUE LASER MINION: The burgers are done, sir. {holds up a tray of burgers}
BLUE LASER: Fantastic!
{cut back to the desert with the commandos}
FIGHTGAR: Are we there yet? I'm tired.
GUNHAVER: Me too. We need some energy fast!
SILENT RIP: Look! It's that guy! That flies that plane!
{There is a fighter jet flying up above, and we zoom up to see Crackotage flying it)
CRACKOTAGE: Look out below, Geronimo! Hee hee ha ha!
{The jet drops a box of cereal on a parachute, and it descends to the commandos below.}
CHEAT COMMANDOS: We're saved!
GUNHAVER: Sugar-crunchy Cheat Commandos...O's Sugar Cereal! Part of this nutritious breakfast!
{We transition to a commercial for Cheat Commandos...O's.}
SPOKESMAN: New Cheat Commandos...O's...O'sy O's...sugar cereal, is a delicious part of this complete delicious breakfast!
{we see a box of Cheat Commandos...O's, next to a glass of caramel candies, a mug of marshmallows, and a cake on a plate. There's a caption saying "Delicious Nutritious Breakfast!!!" with the word Nutritious crossed out. A subtitle states "Gallon of Ice Cream not pictured".}
SPOKESMAN: And take some vitamins, too!
{cut to Blue Laser’s headquarters. He's yelling at his minions.}
BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Which one of you ate the last bratwurst?!
{The Cheat Commandos show up right behind him.}
GUNHAVER: Nice try, Blue Laser! This party is busted!
BLUE LASER COMMANDER: What the crap?!
FIGHTGAR, GUNHAVER & SILENT RIP: Sugar-crunchy Cheat Commandos...O's Sugar Cereal!
BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Well that's...just...great!
SILENT RIP: Cheat Commandos...O's...
FIGHTGAR, GUNHAVER & SILENT RIP: Rock, rock on!
BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I hate you!
{The grill explodes behind him, and a couple of Blue Laser minions paradrop behind the fence. We go to a commercial again.}
SPOKESMAN: And now, try Cheat Commandos...O's, with Fluffy Puff Marshmallows...O's.
{Back to the cartoon, Marshie flies up to Gunhaver wearing a soldier's hat.}
SER-G-GEANT MARSHIE: Ser-g-geant Marshie reporting for duty, sir!
GUNHAVER: Will somebody get this flying cottonball outta my face?
{Cut back to the scene with the cereal and the delicious (not nutritious) breakfast. The commandos walk on in the background, and the theme song sings "Cheat Commando's O's ridiculous breakfast...buy all our playsets and toys."}
Easter Eggs
- Click on the mug of marshmallows at the end to see a new action figure.
Easter Egg Transcript
{Drumming is heard in the background.)
SPOKESMAN: Kids, get a free Ser-g-geant Marshie action figure! Just send in five dollars, twenty-five proofs of purchase, and five dollars shipping and handling!
Fun Facts
Trivia
- The Brothers Chaps yet again forgot to change the title of the page, which still read "Compy 386!!" for a while. This was quickly changed to say, "Breakfast is Fundamental."
Remarks
- This is a fine parody of the numerous advertisements that included 80s cartoon characters peddling ridiculously sugary foodstuffs. G.I. Joe itself was guilty of this with Purina's G.I.Joe Action Stars.
- The "back" button at the end of this toon will always take you to Main Page 8.
- It is finally discovered what our beheadphoned pal Crackotage does. This was left unclear with the cryptic "Master Locksmith, Perhaps?" on his action figure box. Now it is known that he's " ... that guy! That flies that plane!" Of course, he could still crack locks in his spare time.
- Ser-g-geant Marshie's action figure box has the following labels:
- A Marshmallow, Not a Cottonball!!
- Creepier than Most!
- A Green Helmet!!
- His First Initial is 'M'! (A reference to Meet Marshie, where Marshie introduces himself as "Capital M, and then 'arshie'!")
Goofs
- The microphone attached to Silent Rip's helmet disappears momentarily after Crackotage drops the box of cereal.
Inside References
- The episode "Time to break...fast!" is written by A. Chimendez.
- Cheat Commandos...O's are made by Cheap as Free Foodstuffs.
Real-World References
- Cheat Commandos...O's really aren't "O's", as Fightgar has noticed on the box. The cereal actually bears a striking resemblance to Quaker's Cap'n Crunch, or possibly Kellogg's Corn Pops.
- Crackotage is modeled after the G.I. Joe character Roadblock in that everything he says is in rhyme. Other cartoons from the 80's had characters who also spoke in rhyme, such as the Wordsworth from the 1984 cartoon Heathcliff & The Cadillac Cats, and Blaster from the Transformers cartoon.
- The plane that Crackotage is flying is almost identical to the US Navy's F-14 Tomcat.
- The Serg-g-geant Marshie character refers to any number of crossovers between figures in pop culture and G.I. Joe (or other 80's cartoonmercials) that culminated in the creation of action figures, notably Sergeant Slaughter of the AWA/WWE and William "Refrigerator" Perry of the Chicago Bears. Both of these also started out as mail-order characters.
- The parachuting Blue Laser minions that appear after the grill explodes refers to the fact that no one ever actually died in a G.I. Joe cartoon, despite all the explosions and flying bullets. The bad guys were always seen emerging bruised and shaken, but alive, from the wreckage.
- The "Breakfast is Fundamental" at the beginning of the cartoon is a reference to "Reading is Fundamental" cartoons that used to be on on Saturday mornings.
- On the Cheat Commandos...O's box, Gunhaver, Fightgar, and Crackotage stand around the cereal bowl in a similar fashion as how Snap, Crackle, and Pop do on boxes of Rice Krispies.
