Disk 4 of 12 - Vampire's Castle

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Toon Category: Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12
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"I'm puffing my cheeks up, fulla holy water."

Strong Bad plays the game that inspired Videlectrix to create Thy Dungeonman.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Limozeen

Places: Computer Room

Date: Sunday, September 18, 2022

Running Time: 30:28

Contents

Transcript

{Video opens on a desk with a floppy disk container. Strong Bad's boxing gloves enter the shot and rifle through the contents.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} When I check my email,

{He holds out a disk labeled "old game".}

STRONG BAD: {singing} There are some old games.

{He inserts the disk into the disk drive.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Now I'm gonna play—

{Strong Bad types on the keyboad with his boxing gloves.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} —them for you.

{Cut to the monitor. The opening screen for Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12 appears.}

{Cut to animated Strong Bad sitting at the Lappier, seen from behind.}

STRONG BAD: {excited} Peoples! I finally did it! I found the incredibly frustrating text adventure that I believe inspired Videlectrix to make Thy Dungeonman!

{Cut to the floppy disk container, zooming in. The disk on the front reads "vampire's castle".}

STRONG BAD: {off-screen} The game is "Vampire's Castle Adventure". Or sometimes just "Vampoire's Castle". It was released around 1984, it looks like. And oh man, {screen shakes as Strong Bad shouts} it's the greatest game!

{Cut back to Strong Bad at the Lappier.}

STRONG BAD: Now technically, this game was never on one of my floppy disks in a Strong Bad Email. But we'll count this as being from SBEmail 94: video games, because I'm pretty sure {the Thy Dungeonman game box drops onto the table loudly} Thy Dungeonman wouldn't exit without this game. {raises arms} And so say all of us: Please insert {points at the viewer} Disk 4 of 12.

{A small floppy reading "Strong Bad's Disk 4 of 12 ver 1.3" pops up inside a white sleeve reading "Videlectrix". The disk is unsleeved, the loading sound plays, and the screen wipes to the game.}

{The opening screen reads "Welcome to VAMPIRE'S CASTLE Adventure. Do you need the instructions?}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And to spice up the text-only styles a bit, The Cheat has agreed to make custom illustrations for each screen!

{The Cheat speaks as Powered By The Cheat box art for Vampire's Castle Adventure by Dave Culbertson pixels in. The art shows a castle with dripping fangs next to a dead tree on a cloudy, moonlit night.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Thanks The Cheat! {reading dramatically} Welcome to the Vampire's Castle Adventure! Do you need the instructions? Yes, {box art fades out} yes for sure. In a game like this.

{He types "yesd". The instruction screen appears.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, reading} Vampire's Castle has a concealed goal. You learn what the goal is by exploring your surroundings. {stops reading} Uh-oh. Red flag. That sounds suspiciously like, "this game is going to be arbitrarily difficult, instead of having actually challenging puzzles!" Blah blah blah blah blah, let's skip down to...

{A yellow box highlights the final sentence.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, reading} By the way, the computer only looks at the first 3 letters of each word. Good luck!

{Music begins to play.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} All right, let's do it! Do it! {enunciating} Let us do it.

{The game begins. The text below says that Strong Bad is in the entrance hall. The Cheat has illustrated the scene, showing a red carpet going in two directions, a pocketwatch on the table, and a sign hanging on the back wall.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, reading} You are in the Entrance Hall. You see Timepiece, Sign. Obvious exits are: East West. What do you do? {typing} Get timepiece.

{The timepiece disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, reading} You got the timepiece. {typing} Look timepiece. {laughs, reading the error message} I don't know how to do that. Oh, man. There just... right out of the gate, wonderfully frustrating. {typing} Read timepiece? {reading response} The time is now 8: 3. That's a great time. Uh, let's look at that sign. {typing} Look sign.

{Error message.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Read sign.

{The sign zooms closer to the screen with the message given by the text.}

STRONG BAD: {reading sign dramatically} The Vampire wakes at midnight.

{Sign disappears.}

STRONG BAD: All right, okay, so we got a few hours here. {typing} Look again. What are we doing here?

{Room description comes back.}

STRONG BAD: Sign, can I get the sign? {typing} Get sign. {reading error response} You can't get it. {typing} Get... ye sign? Hmm?

{Same error response.}

STRONG BAD: You can't get it! Still! Then let's head to the east.

{Wipe to the library. There is a bookshelf in the back and a parchment scroll on the floor.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the library. You see parchment scroll, yes! Bookcase. {typing} Get the scroll.

{The scroll disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You got the parchment scroll. {typing} Read scroll.

{The scroll unfurls onscreen with text written on it.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} The scroll reads: 'Not all exits are obvious'. Ooh, that sounds hinty.

{The scroll disappears.}

STRONG BAD: Let's see, let's {typing} look bookcase. {reading} You see nothing special. Really? {mistypes get bbok} Get book. {error message} Get bbok.

{The Cheat appears, wearing a white rooster hood, a rooster tail, and with yellow wings instead of arms.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Get book. {The Cheat disappears} {reading} You can't get it. {typing} Hit book.

{The game asks "With what?"}

STRONG BAD: {curiously} With what? Ooh. Like this. {typing} Fists. I guess. {reading} Nothing happened. Bo-ring! {typing} Push, push the book. {backspaces to read "pus"} Only, only we can do this, the computer only looks at the first three letters, so we can {typing} pus boo!

{A door leading downstairs opens behind the bookcase.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Aha! You have revealed a doorway! You are in the library. You see bookcase. Obvious exits are east, west and down! Awesome! {typing} All right, let's go down to the secret passage. {error response. Strong Bad types a d} Down.

{Wipe to a hidden corridor. There is a coil of rope at the bottom of the staircase, and a door at the end of the hallway.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the hidden corridor. You see coil of rope! {typing} Yes! Get coil! {laughing} I don't know how to do that. {typing} Get ye coil. {reading} I don't know that word. {typing} Get rope.

{The rope disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You got the coil of rope. All right, sweet! {types "look", the room data comes up again} What else we got going on here? North and up. All right, I don't wanna go back up yet, so let's go north.

{Wipe to the next room, which is an Alchemist's Lab. There is a brown flask on the counter and a door in the back of the room.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You're in the alchemist's lab. You see {shouting, excited} FLASK OF OIL! There's a flask! You guys! I found the flask! Whoa, I can only control my boxing gloves to type it! {typing} Get ye flask. {Strong Bad laughs} I don't know how to do that. Yes! This is definitely the game that inspired Thy Dungeonman! Look at that! {calming down} Okay. I don't even know what to do. {typing} Get ye oil? {error response} I don't know that word either. It doesn't do anything.

{He types "look" again, bringing up the room data.}

STRONG BAD: What is it called? Flask of oil. {typing} Get ye flask of oil.

{The flask disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading, excited} You got the flask of oil! It let me get ye flask of oil! I just had to type a really specific thing, apparently, in order to do that. Ah, what a great time. When the difficulty of video games was based on the laziness of the progrummers. All right, what do you want to do?

{He types "look", bringing up the room data.}

STRONG BAD: What are we doing down here again? Okay. I can go north some more.

{Wipe to the Storeroom. It's a plain, concrete room with a ladder, a crate and a bucket.}

STRONG BAD: In the storeroom? We see crate and bucket. All right, let's get both of those things. {typing} Get crate. {error response; Strong Bad laughs} {typing} Get ye crate.

{The crate disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You got the crate. It's just like, you gotta type things twice in order to get them. That's... what a, what a great difficulty. What a hidden- a concealed goal, as they called it. {types "get bucket"} The concealed goal is that you have to type everything twice. In order to get it to work.

{The bucket disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: You got the bucket on the first try.

{He types "look" to bring up room data.}

STRONG BAD: What else? Anything else? South, ooh, we can go up from here. Let's go. Oh wait. I want to try and open the crate.

{He types "open crate". The game responds "I don't see any crate".}

STRONG BAD: {angrily} The crate in my pants, you text-o adventro! {types "up"} All right, we're gonna go up from here. {error response. Strong Bad snickers} Nope. {typing} U.

{Wipe to the Study. There is a fire in the fireplace, a polar bearskin rug, and a table with a bottle of wine and a wedge of cheese.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the study. Ooh, we see fire in the fireplace, a brick fireplace, wine and cheddar cheese. Whoo. The vampire is gonna have a wine tasting in here tonight. Oh, speaking of, we should check out the time.

{He types "look time". Error response.}

STRONG BAD: {laughing} I don't... Great. Fantastic. {typing} Read timepiece? {reading} The time is now 8:42. {typing} Rea tim. {reading} The time is now 8:43. Oh man, does it pass with each command? {typing} Rea tim again. {the time is now 8:44} It does! Oh, crap. All right, this time's gonna start moving fast. Let's see. {typing} Get wine.

{The wine disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: We got the wine. {mistypes "get cheexe"} Get cheese. {error response} I can't carry anymore?

{The Cheat, with his cheeks puffed up as if holding his breath, appears on the table in place of the cheese.}

STRONG BAD: The Cheexe! Get cheexe! {typing} Look inv. Let's get our inventory here.

{The Cheexe collapses and disappears. The room data is brought up.}

STRONG BAD: {whispering} Nope. {typing} Inv.

{Inventory is brought up. Seven squares appear showing the timepiece, the rope, the scroll, the flask, the crate, the bucket and the wine.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are carrying timepiece, coil of rope, parchment scroll, flask of oil, crate, bucket, {whining} wine. All right, let's see, we don't need that stupid scroll. {types "drop scroll"} That just told us, like, to do the bookcase thing.

{The inventory disappears, and the scroll appears on the bear rug on the floor.}

STRONG BAD: There we go. All right, now. {typing} Get the cheese!

{The cheese disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: You got the cheese. Sweet!

{He types "look", bringing up room data.}

STRONG BAD: What else we got going on here? Fire in the fireplace, can I {typing} get the fire? {error response} Can't carry anymore? Ooh, does that mean I could do it? {typing} Drop crate.

{The crate appears next to the scroll.}

STRONG BAD: The crate is on the study floor. {typing} Get fire! {error response} You can't get it. You couldn't have said that? {typing} All right, we'll get the crate again.

{The crate disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: And let's move on. {brings up room data} All right, look. In the study, parchment scroll, fire in the fireplace, brick fireplace. {typing} Get the bricks. {error response} Can't carry, again. I'm not falling for that again. I think that just means I can't do it, but you're making it seem like if I put something down, then maybe I can get a brick. {types "e"} I'm leaving the stupid study.

{Strong Bad has returned to the Entrance Hall.}

STRONG BAD: And go have my own wine tasting {goes east into the library} in the Alchemist's Lab. East west, down.

{Wipe to the Hidden Corridor.}

STRONG BAD: Here we go.

{Wipe to the Alchemist's Lab.}

STRONG BAD: We're gonna do it right now. {reading} You're in the Alchemist's lab. {typing} Have a wine tasting. {error response} I don't know how to do that. {typing "taste win"} Taste wine. Win. {typing} Tas win. That's all I need. {typing} Drink wine. {typing} Dri win. We're gonna commit a dry win here, you guys. All right, never mind. I didn't really think I could {sounding sad} have a wine tasting in the Alchemist's lab.

{Wipe back to the hidden corridor. Wipe back to the library.}

STRONG BAD: Go back to the up. All right, now I've never been, which way is it, {types "e"} I wanna go east from here?

{Wipe to the armory. Swords, axes, spears, a wooden shield and a morningstar are hanging on the wall.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa! {reading} You are in the armory! You see... axe!

{All the weapons disappear with a splat sound, leaving nothing but empty racks and a single axe on the ground.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Get axe. {error response} Frig!

{He brings up the inventory. He has a timepiece, rope, flask, crate, bucket, wine and cheese.}

STRONG BAD: Gotta get rid of something. And I need an axe. Che-cheese? Wine? I don't know. {typing} I'm gonna drop the cheese, man.

{The cheese is now on the armory floor.}

STRONG BAD: Axe is greater than cheese. {typing} Get axe.

{The axe disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: Yes! {brings up room data} Anything else in the armory? Cheddar cheese now, that's a proper, stocked armory. With some cheese. All right, let's keep going. To the east.

{Wipe to the tower. There is a sledgehammer lying next to the castle parapets.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the tower. You see sledgehammer, and parapets! Yes! Parapets! This is another thing that clearly inspired Thy Dungeonman! Oh man. {typing} Look parapets. {error response} You don't have it? Okay. {typing} Get parapets. {error response} You can't carry any more. See that... you-you trying fool me.

{He brings up the inventory. He has a timepiece, rope, axe, flask, crate, bucket and wine.}

STRONG BAD: But I'm gonna set something down just to see. {typing} Let's say I drop the crate.

{The crate appears in front of the sledgehammer.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Okay, the crate is on the tower floor. {typing} Get parapets! {Strong Bad laughs at the response} I don't see any parchment scroll. Oh, I see. It's just looking at the first three letters. {brings up room data} So why did you put parapets in your description?, if I can't even like, do anything with them? Without you thinking that it's a parchment scroll? {Strong Bad thinks} A sledgehammer? I didn't even loo- I totally buried the lede here! {typing} Get hammer.

{The hammer disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You got the sledge hammer! Yes, I've got an axe and a sledge hammer, flask of oil. This is very- I'm a very Thy Dungeonmanny-kind of Vampire's Castle adventurer. All right, let's see. {typing} Hit the parapets. {Strong Bad laughs} I don't see any parchment scroll. Of course you don't. Of course you don't. What did I say before? {typing} Break parapets. {error response} I don't see any- okay. Great, great. It's great. {typing} Look. What have we got again? Crate and parapets, {brings up inventory} and what am I holding?

{Strong Bad's inventory contains a sledge hammer, a timepiece, a rope, an axe, a flask, a bucket and wine.}

STRONG BAD: Doot-doo doo, coil of rope, flask of oil, oh, let's do {typing} use the rope!

{Error response. The inventory disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Climb the rope. {reading} You can't go there. {typing} Tie the rope. {the game asks, "To what?"} Ooh! To what? {typing} The, the freaking parapets, man!

{The rope is now tied around the parapets.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Rope tied to the parapet! I'm surprised it didn't say, "you tried to tie the rope to the parchment scroll, but it's not here". {typing} Right now look at the rope. What's it doing? {Nothing special} Now, {typing} climb the rope.

{Wipe to the tower on the ground. There is a rope hanging from the top of the tower, a dead tree in the background, and an oar on the ground.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Climbed down rope! We are in the Lower Tower. You see o-ar. {typing} Get o-ar.

{The oar disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: We got the o-ar. All right, let's go south.

{Wipe to a chapel. Sunlight comes in through the stained glass window. There is a pool of holy water next to some pews.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the chapel. You see holy water. Oh yeah, we're gonna need that. What kind of a stupid vampire has both a chapel and holy water in his own castle? This seems like a death wish for the vampire. {typing} Get holywater. {angrily} You can't carry any more? Frig!

{In the inventory, Strong Bad has a sledgehammer, a timepiece, an axe, an oar, a flask, a bucket and wine.}

STRONG BAD: The frig, the frig! What can I give up? I guess the wine. {type} Drop wine. {the wine is now on the floor} Is it gonna like, shatter and be like, "you needed that to win"? And now you're blabbity-blue. Okay, what do you want to do? {typing} Get holywater. {the game asks "in what"?} Where the... in what? Ooh, in the bucket! {reading} You got the holywater! {brings up room data} Is there anything else in here? North, up? If I go up from here...

{Wipe to the armory. The cheese is still there.}

STRONG BAD: I'm back in the armory. {typing} I'm gonna get my cheese. I'm gonna get my cheese. What? I thought I just... put the holy water in the bucket.

{The inventory shows the sledgehammer, the timepiece, the axe, the oar, holywater, a flask, and a bucket.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Sledgehammer, timepiece, axe, oar, holywater, flask of oil, bucket. Crap. All right, we're gonna have to come back for you, cheese. Where else can I go?

{Wipe back to the tower. The crate is still there.}

STRONG BAD: Let's go back. And there's the crate, too.

{Wipe back to the armory with the cheese.}

STRONG BAD: Man. So much stuff!

{Wipe to the library. The passage is still open.}

STRONG BAD: Bookcase. {wipe back to the entrance hall} Entrance hall. {wipe back to the study. The parchment scroll is still there} Study. Parchment scroll. Fire in the fireplace. All right. Let's try this again. {typing} Get brick. {error response} Can't-

{He brings up the inventory.}

STRONG BAD: Drop the oar.

{The oar is now on the floor.}

STRONG BAD: The oar is on the study floor.

{A book titled "The Oar on the Floor and other inventory poems" by Edgar Allen Sportinterviews pops up.}

STRONG BAD: The oar on the floor. {typing} Get brick. {The book drops away} You can't get it. {typing} Hit the bricks. {The game asks, "With what?"} I'm gonna do, ooh, with what? With.. the hammer! {typing} The sledgehammer!

{The fireplace is now broken, but the fire still remains.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You're in the study. You see parchment scroll, oar, fire in the fireplace, and broken fireplace! Sweet! {typing} Now maybe I can get brick. {error response} {typing} Get broken fireplace. {error response} Okay, {typing} get fire. {error response} You can't get it. What have I got?

{The inventory is brought up.}

STRONG BAD: Holy water. Axe, flask of oil, Ooh! {typing} Let's throw the oil on fire! {error response. The inventory disappears} You don't have it. What do you mean? Oh, flask. {typing} Throw flask on fire. {error response. Strong Bad laughs} You don't... I would beg to differ with you, but I know there's no winning this argument. {typing} Let's throw the holy water on the fire. {error response} You don't have it! Come- what are you doing, man? {typing} Throw the bucket?

{The bucket is now on the study floor.}

STRONG BAD: The bucket is on the study floor. {brings up inventory} Do I still have the... {laughs} I still have the holy water somehow. I have extricated the holy water.

{The inventory disappears. Strong Bad appears holding water in his boxing gloves.}

STRONG BAD: I'm cupping it in my hands. Or maybe I got it in my mouth, I'm puffing my cheeks out—

{The image of Strong Bad morphs into him with puffy cheeks, holding the water in his mouth.}

STRONG BAD: —full of holy water. {typing} Spit holy water on fire.

{Strong Bad spits the water onto the fire with elongated ooh-lips.}

STRONG BAD: I don't know how to do that. {Strong Bad disappears. He types} Throw holy water. {reading} You are in the study. You see parchment scroll, oar, bucket, smoldering ashes?

{The fire in the fireplace is now out.}

STRONG BAD: Broken fireplace? Sweet! I put the fire out! With my holy water that I was somehow holding without a bucket! {typing} Get smold? {error response} Look fireplace? {reading} You see nothing special. {typing} Get in fireplace. Maybe go inside it. {typing} Go inside fireplace.

{Wipe to the fireplace. There is a broken passage in the back, and a torch hanging inside.}

STRONG BAD: {reading, excited} You are in the broken fireplace! You see torch! Obvious exits are north and south! Wait, there's a torch inside the fireplace that I just put out the fire in? {typing} Get that torch.

{The torch disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You got the torch. All right, now go north.

{Wipe to a secret passage. There are two tunnels inside.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the secret passage. {laughing} You see nothing interesting. It's the worst secret passage I've ever been inside of. Obvious exits are north, south and west. Let's go to the west.

{Wipe to the torture chamber. There are shackles, chains, and a spiky contraption. There is a rat looking menacing.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the Torture Chamber. You see rat! All right! Maybe it's like, the metal band.

{The rat morphs into four glam metal musicians representing the band Ratt.}

STRONG BAD: This game probably came out around that time. {typing} Get Stephen Pearcey's autograph. {error response} I don't know that word! It's because there's only one "t" in the word rat. If there were two, then I could be like, {typing} sing Round and Round.

{The band member holding the microphone flips back and forth as internal PC sounds play a tune.}

STRONG BAD: With love, we'll find a way. Just give it time.

{With a "splat", the band turns back into a rat.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Get the rat. Let's get him. You can't get him? {typing} Let's talk to the rat. {mumbling} I don't know how to do that. {typing} Just look at the rat.

{The key appears in the rat's mouth.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} A key is in its mouth! {typing} Get the key. {error response} Really. Really. Do you don't know that word that word that you just displayed for me. {typing} Get the friggin key. {reading} The rat has it? I'm gonna start just putting "friggin" in between everything. {typing} Kill friggin rat. {reading} You can't do that. {typing} Hit rat. {With what?} With what? {typing} The hammer! {reading} Nothing happened? Are you telling me that I just hit a rat with a sledgehammer and nothing happened? Find that hard to believe.

{The inventory is brought up again. It has a sledgehammer, a timepiece, an axe, a flask, and a torch.}

STRONG BAD: What else I got? I've got an axe. {typing} Hit the rat. {With what?} With what? {typing} The AXE! {nothing happens} Just what I thought.

{Steel-plated armor and a hard hat appear on the rat with majesty lines, protecting the rat from harm.}

STRONG BAD: Axe-proof rat. Maybe the torch. {typing} Hit rat.

{The armor fades away.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} With the torch! {notihng happened} Set him aflame! Oh wait! The cheese!

{The inventory is brought up, but there is no cheese.}

STRONG BAD: What, I don't have the cheese! {inventory disappears} We gotta go back and get the cheese. I don't even remember where I left it. Go back to the east.

{Wipe back to the secret passage.}

STRONG BAD: Nothing interesting. South. {wipe back to the broken fireplace} Back to the broken fireplace. South again. {wipe back to the study} Okay, we're in the study. No, cheese isn't here. {wipe to the entrance hall, then the library} Now to the entrance hall.

{Wipe to the armory. The cheese has been left behind here.}

STRONG BAD: There we go. Armory. {typing} Get the cheese.

{The cheese disappears in a puff of smoke. Back to the library.}

STRONG BAD: Okay. {to the entrance hall} Got the cheddar cheese. Back to the west. {in the study} Back to the west. And then we {typing} go fireplace. {back to the fireplace} Now we go north. {back in the secret passage} And now we go west again.

{Strong Bad has returned to the torture chamber with the rat holding the key.}

STRONG BAD: There's the rat. {typing} Give the cheese! {error response, typing} Use the cheese! {error response, typing} Throw the cheese!

{The cheese is now on the floor.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} Okay, the cheese is on the torture chamber floor. {typing} Now look at the rat. {the key is in its mouth} What, he's not going for the cheese? {typing} Get key.

{The key disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You got the key! Is this more of your "concealed goals" crap? It might be nice if you like, indicated that the cheese is what made the rat let me have the key. Just- I just got it this time. Who knows why? This does not bode well for moving forward in the Vampire's Castle adventure. All right, what are we doing here?

{The inventory is brought up. He has a sledgehammer, a timepiece, an axe, a key, a flask and a torch.}

STRONG BAD: Bruh-padoo.

{The inventory disappears. He brings up the room data again.}

STRONG BAD: Got the key. I don't know what it's for. Obvious exits are east and west. Let's go east.

{Wipe to the secret passage.}

STRONG BAD: Okay. Now let's go north from the secret passage!

{Diamond wipe to an underground lake. Three spikes from a sea serpent are visible in the water.}

'STRONG BAD: {reading} You are in the underground lake chamber. You see Bo-at. Oh, man.

{A huge sea serpent with curved yellow horns, pink hair, red eyes and a green forked tongue smiles menacingly in the water.}

STRONG BAD: Sounds like a huge demon that- oh. You- you see a boat.

{The sea serpent turns into a boat with a "splat" sound.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Get boat. {typing} Get in boat. Can't get it. {typing} Go in boat. {reading} You are in the boat. You see nothing interesting. Oh crap, wait. Do I still have that oar?

{He brings up the inventory. He does not have the oar.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, man! I don't even know whether I did with that stupid oar! {brings up room data} How do I get out of this boat? South. South.

{Back in the secret passage.}

STRONG BAD: South. {back in the fireplace} Broken fireplace, south.

{Back in the study. The oar has been left on the floor with the bucket and the parchment scroll.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, good, it's right here. {typing} Get oar.

{The oar disappears in a puff of smoke.}

STRONG BAD: {reading} You got the oar.

{VHS artifacts appear on the video as Strong Bad fast-forwards through the next several actions.}

STRONG BAD: {fast-forwarded} Go fireplace. {has trouble typing} Can do it now, you can do it!

{Strong Bad fast-forwards through the secret passage back to the lake chamber.}

STRONG BAD: And now go boat. {types "go bo"} Go bo. {error response} I don't know that word. Sorry. {typing} Go boa. {error response} You don't know that one? {typing} Go boat. Ah, needs the whole four-letters word. {typing} Use the oar! {error response. He mistypes "ue oar on boat"} Use oar on boat. {typing} Oar boat. {typing} Go oar. {reading} You can't go there. Oh, row! {typing} Row boat!

{Wipe to the gallery. The boat is in a pool in the center of the room. The room has red walls with lots of framed pictures hanging on it. A tapestry with the vampire, a bat, a flask, cheese and the castle with dripping fangs hangs on the back wall.}

STRONG BAD: I've rowed to the gallery! Oh man, I really needed a PC internal speaker version of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" right there.

{An ASCII animation of a man rowing a boat rides in from the right as "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" plays on a PC speaker.}

STRONG BAD: There we go. But like, in a like a minor key.

{The ASCII boat rows to back to the right with a sad face, sinking into the water as a minor-key version of the song plays.}

STRONG BAD: Something like that.

Fun Facts

Remarks

Inside References

  • As noted by Strong Bad, a scroll, ye flask, and parapets would become important elements in Thy Dungeonman. According to the commentary for the email video games, Matt Chapman didn't know what parapets were when he was younger, and was convinced the parapets in this game were more important than they actually were.
  • Strong Bad says the difficulty of the game is based on the laziness of the progrummers.
  • The Oar on the Floor is by Edgar Allen Sportsinterviews.
  • Thy Dungeonman II featured a rat named Percy, and made a joke about the band Ratt.
  • The sea serpent Strong Bad calls Bo-At has a green tongue.
  • The welcome mat on the rusty door reads "HELSCOME".
  • When Strong Bad is in the Vampire's Tomb, he mentions Trevor the vampire.
  • The ending scene with Limozeen references their song "Because, It's Midnite".

Real World References

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External Links

Retrieved from "http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Disk_4_of_12_-_Vampire%27s_Castle"
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