virus

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WHAT?! That is not a small number!!! That is a big number!!

Strong Bad Email #118

Strong Bad experiences some "technical difficulties" with Compy 386... and the rest of the Homestar Runner universe.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Virus, Strong Sad, Coach Z (Easter egg) Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, Marzipan, The Poopsmith, The King of Town, The Ugly One, Bubs, The Cheat, Rather Dashing, Fightgar (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Marzipan's House, King of Town's Castle, The Stick, Bubs' Concession Stand (Easter egg)

Computer: Compy 386

Date: November 15, 2004

Running Time: 4:05

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} I got the email, you got the email, I got the email, you got the email.

{Pronounces "Ert plus: Why seven-six P? Ohlyuu eightkgee—" then stops}

STRONG BAD: What is this? Did the quadratic formula explode? I see a "Strong ba" in there, but it's getting eaten by some... Linux or something. Wait a minute! Is this one of those virus emails? Like the kind that moms and offshore casinos send you?! I'll take care of this!

{Strong Bad types "deleted," but the screen flashes:}

{A red line of text appeareading "That didn't work."}

STRONG BAD: What?! I said deleted!

{A red line of text appears reading "That neither."}

STRONG BAD: Oh, a wise guy, eh? Maybe I should introduce you to my main man, Edgar!

{Strong Bad types in Edgarware.exe, bringing up the following text on-screen}

<blockquote class="compy email" Hunter</span>

programmed entirely
in mom's basement
by Edgar       c1982
</blockquote> {Strong Bad hits a key, and the <blockquote class="compy email" style version .0001</span>
Last scan was NEVER ago.

scanning...</blockquote>

STRONG BAD: All right, Edgar, now drop a train on 'em!

{The following text now appears on the screen}

} Waaugh! That is not a small number! That is a big number!! What'm I gonna d

{The following text nowon the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Computer over? Virus equals very yes? That's not a good prize!

{The text on the Compy 386 screen melts off and slides onto the floor.}

{Strong Bad jumps out of the way. The camera zooms out to a view of the computer desk.}

STRONG BAD: And the Compy just peed my carpet.

{The corner of the com desk briefly flashes, showing an underlying gridwork to it, The No Loafing sign becomes g!!</href> </body> </pre {The Floppy Disk Container gets eaten by the computer desk. Strong Sad walks in, but his head is floating a foot to the left of where it should be and has been replaced by his emoticons from Strong Sad's Lament.}

STRONG SA: Strong Bad, what is going on?

STRONG BAD: WAH! Uh, I dunno. You forgot to wear your neck?

STRONG SAD: Have you been using the Internet irresponsibly?

{The top of a Main Page starts to creep into the top of the email, with the text "Stave it off, 1, 2, 3..." in the corner in place of the "What's new" text.}

STRONG BAD: No more irresponsibly than usual.

STRONG SAD: {His lower body starts walking away in place.} Did you get a virus?

STRONG BAD: {with guilt} Uhhh, noo...

STRONG SAD: Did you get four hundred thousand viruses?

'STRONG BAD: {submissive} Yes... Very yes!

STRONG SAD: Well, hurry up and do something about it before it gets worse!

{Strongoff the screen and into the black to the right of the computer desk, then stops.} .}

STRONG BAD: Hey!

{Homestar Runner walks onscreen. His body is Old-Timey Homestar Runner's body, while the rest of him is normal. Instead of his legs moving, he just glides on, producing several ghost images of himself.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Never fear, Strong Bad! I know how to fix your computer box! {He turns to the Compy.}STRONG BAD: {stands up} No, no! Don't touch that!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Your super box needs words. {His head falls off and onto the ground.} Like these right here!

STRONG BAD: No, stop! That's not supposed to be possible!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {simultaneously} Uhh, this one {He picks up "downloads" from the bottom menu.} and this one" from the bottom menu.}

{Suddenly, several Monkey!!" They each feature oldschool Homestar who is saying "Making out with Marzipan is totally awesome!" Strong Bad starts screaming and pounds the side of the screen with his fists. Cut to Marzipan's living room. Strong Mad is standing nearby and Marzipan is standing nxt to a stack of VHS tapes.}

is. This guy is dumb strong, and that's pretty much the definition of a lug. One ti his brother Strong Bad {The Ugly One appears out of nowhere with the rhino sound from "Strong Bad's RhinoFeeder", and her mouth is huge and distorted.}

THE UGLY ONE: I can do it! I can do it 9 times {The Ugly One extends her arm and starts slapping the King of Town.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Uh! No! Please! Stop! I'm old! And fat! And rich! And cool!

{Cut to the Homestar Runner ladin screen, and rveals a screen with the text "It's now safe to turn your computer off." Bu walks on from the side of the screen. His mouth is a broken JPEG, his legs are rendered in a fashion suitable bsfor red/blue 3D-glasses, his midsection is missing, and he's carrying one of Homestar's legs in his left arm. His other arm is continually waving about, as seen on Dancin' Bubs}

BUBS: I shoulda done this, like, a million years ago.

{Cut to The Field, now a cloud scene. The Stick is gone. Strong Bad has one big foot instead of both legs, his black mark is too high, and his head and mouth are lopsided. The Cheat is floating around the screen, interchanging between different versions of himself. A pitch-black Rather Dashing and a colon fly by in the foreground. As Strong Bad talks, his left arm detaches from his body and flies off in random directions.}

it! That Bubs is a computer genius man! Let's do a dance for the computer genius man!

{A salsa rhythm starts up, and Strong Bad and The Cheat start dancing. The camera pans to the left to reveal Bubs holding a shotgun.}

STRONG BAD: Thanks Bubs! How'd you get rid of the vi—wait...why do you have a shotgun? {shaken} What did you do? Where's my Compy?!

, Strong Bad. Or rather, it's in the same place, but now it's got a big hole through it!

STRONG BAD: {still shaken} YOU MURDERER! You killed my brother! {nearly sobbing} I mean, computer!

BUBS: Look, Strong Bad, my mouth was a broken JPEG. I had no choice!

STRONG BAD: You don't understand! You all understand! I mean, don't understand. AAAUUUGGGHHH!

{Strong Bad runs off screen, very distraught. The Cheat makes some Cheat noises that sound like 'Hey wait', and follows him. Homestar hops onscreen on one leg, holding his other leg up.} Homestar for a long, uncomfortable moment.}

{Cut to the Compy 386, which now has a giant hole through its monitor and most of the wall behind it. Strong Bad is sitting HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hy, Bubs! Can I have my leg back now? {Bubs stares at in front of it, head bowed.}' STRONG BAD: {very distraught} Dear Strong Bad, I doh du duoh crapfully yours. {He hits his head on the keyboard a few times.}I...ID DOH DU DUOH CRAPFULLY YOURS! I can't relate. {He hits his head on the keyboard again.} I can't relate! {He hits his head on the keyboard again.} I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get in there and mix {He hits his head.} it up. 

Fairstival]].
    • If you mouse over the Quote of the Week, it bounces around the screen until it gets lodged at the top. When you click "Hear it," a pixelated broom scrolls vertically along the screen and makes a loud distorted{The Paper cmes down.}

STRONG BAD: {still very distraught} I don't remember your name, Davey! {hits head on keyboard again} Dear Strong Bad. {voice trailing off} How do you text with boxing gloves on?

= Easter Eggs

  • When the Main page is encroachng on the top of the screen you can still click the Quote of the Week, weekly Sketchbook, and Weekly Fanstuff buttons to see them.
    • If you hold tab until it highlights over where the updates are posted and hit enter, it takes you to [[Halloween noise, the same as is heard by Marzipan moments later and some of the links disappear off bit and then falls off the screen and the links reappear.
      • This happens appear in green.
      • The numbers are in a font called "MS Reference Specialty" and spell out the phrase "stick to your books" (possibly—since the letters a–h in MS Reference Specialty are represented by little squares).
    • If you click on the Sketchbook, it leads to a glitched sketchbook box, where the Flash MX color mixer appears. Scroll over it and a green X appears overtop. Clicking it causes it to close. Allowing it to remain on-screen causes a screen glitch—a black box appears over has been used in Mozilla and Netscape Navigator since before Mozilla Firefox was conceived.

Remarks

  • Edgar the Virus Hunter is said to have been written in 1982, a year before the first documented experimental virus was created. Although there are conflicting accounts as to when Edgar from the Edgarware program is his "main man." However, he claims in "2 years" that his mai man "is, and has been since 1987, Van Mundegaarde."
  • The rethe "deleted!" for the first time, and the blue screen appears, the drive letter disapears.
  • The links toons" and "contact" disappear while the Quote of the Day Easter egg is active

Inside Rferences

Retrieved from "http://hrwiki.org/wiki/virus"
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