The Ugly One
From Homestar Runner Wiki
The Ugly One (with the integral article "the") is the ugly-looking member of the Teen Girl Squad whose "real" name is either Virginia, Joy, Jennifer, or The. In the eleventh issue, Cheerleader refers to her as "Uggs". Despite her ugliness, suspect hygiene and psoriasis, she seems to be better-liked within the Squad than What's Her Face.
The Ugly One is portrayed as a mindless follower of Cheerleader, and appears both dimmer and slightly more eccentric than the other girls (one of her introductory lines describes her as being "actually crazy"). She is readily included in the Squad's Cheerleader-led activities, such as shopping, spring break vacation, and jumping into a lion's mouth.
She is fond of school lunches, the popular yogurt topping jimmies, and has a crush on every boy. Despite the strength of her crushes, she has difficulty acting on them; in Teen Girl Squad Issue 5 she stuck her head in the sand rather than converse with the olda boys.
As with the rest of the Squad, The Ugly One has suffered a variety of horrible fates. She has been ARROWED, swooped, MSG'd, TWO'd, and YOU'RE NOT'd. She has also endured two "triple attacks". The first was in Teen Girl Squad Issue 8, where she was FLOOR TOMMED, STEP-MOMMED, and POM-POMMED?. Then, in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9, a tree branch fell on her after she carved "BFF" into the tree. The tree then fell on her and spontaneously combusted.
She is the daughter of Manolios Ugly One.
- She also appears in the 404'd page, where she feels the pain of the Internet browser.
- She slapped The King of Town in the email "virus" about nine times or so.
 New Hotness
For her Sweet Someteen birthday bash in Teen Girl Squad Issue 10, The Ugly One received a massive makeover, which caused Strong Bad to (a) exclaim "Whoa! Did I draw that new hotness?", (b) "save" her from Arrow'd Guy, (c) insert himself into the issue as a well-muscled construction worker so that he could make out with her, and (d) actually make out with the piece of paper that contained her cartoon. The Brothers Chaps' nickname for The Ugly One after her makeover is The "Hotgly One". Unfortunately for her, The Ugly One's makeover lasted only one issue.
 Pre-K Version
In Pre-K, there is some confusion over whether she was a boy or girl. She also had rounder glasses and buck teeth.
 The Ugg-ly One
The cave girl form of The Ugly One in Strong Badia the Free Cave Girl Squad. Notably, she was the only girl whose name was altered.
 Title Card Descriptions
- drill team! (TV Time Toons Menu)
- hygiene? (Teen Girl Squad Issue 1)
- psoriasis! (Teen Girl Squad Issue 2)
- actually crazy (Teen Girl Squad Issue 3)
- prepaid lunch! (Teen Girl Squad Issue 4)
- three piece?!! (Teen Girl Squad Issue 5)
- wants to be cheerleader (Teen Girl Squad Issue 6)
- boy or girl? (Teen Girl Squad Issue 7)
- listens to pinebark! (Teen Girl Squad Issue 8)
- parking deck? (Teen Girl Squad Issue 9)
- gnarly nursing home green (Teen Girl Squad Issue 10)
- geiger counter! (Teen Girl Squad Issue 11)
- pink eye! (Teen Girl Squad Issue 12)
- plain yogurt/hour (Teen Girl Squad Issue 13)
- like, mostly to secede? (Teen Girl Squad Issue 14)
- leftover brine? (Teen Girl Squad Issue 15)
- shrimp po' boys! (Homestar Ruiner)
 Hurt and/or Killed by
- Getting ARROWED by the Arrow'd Guy (Teen Girl Squad Issue 1, 404 error page)
- Being swooped by a vulture (Teen Girl Squad Issue 2)
- Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) (Teen Girl Squad Issue 3)
- A Falling sack of YOU'RE NOT potatoes (Teen Girl Squad Issue 4)
- Sticking her head in sand and then being the perch of a giant bird (Teen Girl Squad Issue 5)
- Falling into the The Arrow'd Guy's mouth (Teen Girl Squad Issue 7)
- Being floor tommed, step-mommed, and Pom-Pommed (Teen Girl Squad Issue 8)
- Being punched and crushed by a spontaneously-combusting tree (Teen Girl Squad Issue 9)
- Being eaten by a carnivorous plant (Teen Girl Squad Issue 10) (Easter Egg)
- A chainsaw-wielding maniac in a Speedo (Teen Girl Squad Issue 11)
- "BAD JUJU!!" from the Arrow'd Guy, putting needles through a voodoo doll in response to her voodoo doll resembling him (Teen Girl Squad Issue 12)
- Dangled off a hotel balcony, then dropped from said hotel balcony onto a bayonet tailgate party. (Teen Girl Squad Issue 13)
- Shot by a robotic penguin's lasers (Highest scoring death in Homestar Ruiner)
- Burned by a fire-breathing Limozeen member (Baddest of the Bands)
 Quotes of the Week
|The Ugly One's Quotes of the Week|
|Teen Girl Squad|
| Characters: Cheerleader | So and So | What's Her Face | The Ugly One|
Arrow'd Guy | The Birds | Brainkrieg | Fighting Growlbacks | The Gregs | Manolios | Mr. Pitters | Mrs. Commanderson | Narrator Strong Bad