Minor Teen Girl Squad Characters

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Some characters make a very brief appearance in Teen Girl Squad, often hurting one of the girls. Usually they are never seen again, but in the 10th Issue special, many of these characters made cameo appearances at The Ugly One's Sweet Someteen Birthday Bash, and in issue 15, several made appearances at the "Priggidy Prizom".

A party of minor characters

Contents

[edit] Issue 1

Image Description
Bang-bang-bang!
[edit] A Helicopter

This helicopter attacked some birds with a machine gun. Surprisingly, this aircraft was the first object to be seen harming living creatures in the entire series, yet its victims did not include one of the girls.

Bend It Like Beckhamasaurus Rex
[edit] The Dinosaur

The dinosaur punted What's Her Face across the cartoon. Just after this, she was heard to remark, "Dag, yo." She is presumed to have died upon landing. In the Tenthennial Extravaganza, it was revealed to have bloody teeth.

[edit] Issue 2

Image Description
Bad weather
[edit] Cloud Monster

As the girls go to look so good, a cloud in the background grows angry eyes and a mouthful of sharp teeth. It then quickly chomps on some birds.

No "I" in dead either
[edit] No "I" in Team Boy

This boy goes out with So and So, which causes her friends to get jealous. When So and So mentions that she's totally crushing, the boy gets hit by a delivery truck (driven by Arrow'd Guy) marked "CHILDREN". He appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email death metal.

SWOOP'D!!

GRASP'D!
[edit] The Vulture and the Bat

The Vulture swooped The Ugly One when she got jealous of So and So's getting the "No 'i' in team boy" to date her. The Bat grasped Cheerleader for the same reasons as the vulture.

[edit] Issue 3

Image Description
Preeow!
[edit] Buzzsaw Sun

The sun turned into a buzzsaw, and chopped up some birds in this episode.

Boy or girl?
[edit] Thrift Store Person

This person is found at the thrift store that What's Her Face shopped at, where she stays behind a rack of shirts, holding a sign that reads, "1 or 2 cent each item." In the Teen Girl Squad Issue 3 DVD commentary, Strong Bad says that she is a "homeless woman."

"Poooosssssummmmms...!"
[edit] Possums

A wave of possums, announced by a menacingly voiced "Poooosssssummmmms...!" attacked What's Her Face as she walked home from the thrift store. They got her dirty and tore her clothing, but didn't kill her. When she met up with the other girls, one possum was seen still attacking her. The possum attack apparently made What's Her Face's blood hurt.

[edit] Issue 4

Image Description
Cupid strikes back
[edit] Brett Bretterson

Brett is an imaginary person whom So And So made up in first grade. He is mentioned in Teen Girl Squad Issues 4 and 10. Ignoring her friends' denial of Brett's reality, So And So interacts with "Brett" as if she could actually see and hear him. This causes the other girls to be weirded out. Brett and So And So were going to study together when their plans were ended abruptly when So and So fell in the Fighting Growlbacks Bottomless Spirit Pit.

So And So is in love with Brett, and when she thinks of him hearts appear over her head. One of them grew a face just as it was pierced with an arrow.

In the tenth episode, So And So states that she and Brett Bretterson are "Splitsville".

Brett may or may not be a real person, too; he is listed in the credits for Limozeen: "but they're in space!" as the "Worst animator". Strong Bad confirms this in the DVD commentary for best thing.

Cerebellum'd!
[edit] Giant Brain Mech

The Giant Brain Mech is a giant brain with lips and an eye patch. It is apparently mechanical, because Arrow'd Guy can be seen controlling the brain under a glass dome. The brain CEREBELLUM'D! Cheerleader when Quarterman suggested that she should go get some brains.

[edit] Issue 5

Image Description
PERCH!
[edit] Fat Bird

The fat bird is first seen in Issue 5, perched on the "meanwhile, ON VACATION" sign in the transition scene. Later in the cartoon, when The Ugly One gets nervous and sticks her head in the sand, the fat bird flies down and perches on her side. The bird doesn't seem to do anything after that. It just sits there with its tongue hanging out for the rest of the cartoon.

Lying around...
[edit] Olda Boys

The olda boys are college boys that were at the vacation beach with Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One. One misses video games, but the other misses his mom even more. They combine their sayings in a way that synchronizes with the background music in an Easter egg. The spiky-haired one earned a Quote of the Week.

Cool or famous
[edit] Henry Rollins, Abraham Lincoln, and George Washington

These are the "cool or famous" people who look at the nervous The Ugly One and then parasail with So and So. In the Tenthennial Extravaganza, Henry Rollins was revealed to be an odd red color, a reference to the music video for "Liar" (from the album Weight--Henry Rollins Band, Imago Records 1994).

[edit] Issue 6

Image Description
Now with more 3-legged action!
[edit] Gift Exchange Lion

This lion, who seems to be missing a leg, appears in Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. Cheerleader, So and So, and The Ugly One all dive into its mouth in pursuit of Decemberween presents, but What's Her Face declines on the grounds that she is vegan. For some reason the inside of the lion looks like the inside of a whale.

A nose from the happy judge
[edit] Smiley Face Man

This happy fellow is a judge in the Decemberween Teen Girl Squad. He and the other two judges (who are both Arrow'd Guy) TWO'D The Ugly One for her cannonball into the Gift Exchange Lion's mouth. He rates Cheerleader's dive into the lion's mouth a "nose" along with the other judges. Noticeable is the fact that he can move his arms along his skinny body. His "shoulder" is not visible until he lifts up the sign. Little else is known about this person, or what the value of a "nose" is in competitive Lion's mouth jumping.

Singing about babies
[edit] Hawaiian Guy

This musician wears a Hawaiian shirt and plays a ukulele. He sang "Wave o' Babies" as a wave of babies appeared.

A virtual tsunami of infants.
[edit] Wave o' Babies

These babies are in a giant wave that crashed into What's Her Face. They are seen caving onto What's Her Face, but the actual crash is not shown. It is possible that the wave just swept past without stopping. This is further supported by the fact that after the crash, only two babies are visible clinging onto What's Her Face, while all the others are gone.

Bonus: Half-Digested!
[edit] Half-Digested Gazelle Carcass

This half-digested animal is presented by The Ugly One at the very end of Decemberween Teen Girl Squad to Cheerleader, to her dismay. All of the other girls seem to be pleased at the sight of the dead animal, despite the negative aspects of decomposing carcasses.

[edit] Issue 7

Image Description
Squished.
[edit] Fat Man

He's a fat man who wears a singlet similar to Strong Mad's. He fell down a slide and squished Teeny Tiny Cheerleader while she was throwing a tantrum. He bears a resemblance to pro wrestler King Kong Bundy and performs the Bundy Splash, one of his signature moves.

The bell tolls for thee
[edit] Bill Bellamy

This is the bell seen in Issue 7 in the Teeny Tiny Girl Squad's preschool. His role is similar to that of the Intercom, but specific relationship details are unknown. He bears the same name as actor and comedian Bill Bellamy.

[edit] Issue 8

Image Description
Who's that hiding in the wheel?
[edit] Intercom

The intercom is a feature of the Teen Girl Squad's school. As it is hanging up high in the girls' classroom, it is responsible for announcing things like the school lunch and commands. Later in the cartoon, the Intercom is seen mounted on a robot body, hosting the Battle of the Bands. It introduced the bands "Fatty's Big Chance" and the Teen Girl Squad "Kissyboots." In the Tenthennial Extravaganza, it appeared on its stand nursing a martini.

Floor Tom, the evil drum
[edit] Floor Tom

When The Ugly One does her 16-hour drum solo, she was interrupted by an evil floor tom when it FLOOR TOMMED her by biting her top half off. This was just one of three events that stopped her drum solo, as she was also STEP-MOMMED and POM-POMMED.

"YOU LITTLE BRATS BEST SHUT YER YAPS!!!"
[edit] Mrs. So-and-so-erson

Mrs. So-and-so-erson is So and So's "step-mom". "She" resembles Arrow'd Guy in lipstick and a jogging suit; it's debatable whether she is in fact the same person. As Cheerleader states, she has questionable taste, which is agreed upon by What's Her Face after observing the many jogging suits in her walk-in closet. She "STEP-MOMMED" The Ugly One by pouring ranch dressing on her during her 16-hour drum solo. When she talks, her speech balloon has three tails, with only one coming from her mouth. Apparently, her name is Judith, as seen in Issue 11.

Consider it Picked!
[edit] Fatty

Fatty is the sole member of the one-man saxophone band, "Fatty's Big Chance." He played before Kissyboots in the Battle of The Bands. With his two tone suit and rousing chant of "pick it up, pick it up," Fatty is a ska machine.

KRA'AGH!
[edit] Goblins

The goblins enter So and So's dressing room while So and So is preparing for the Battle of the Bands. In their native tongue, they ask her for her autograph. Apparently So and So can understand them, and is happy to oblige. But before she could sign, she was TWELVE-SIDED DIED!, inexplicably by a 20-sided die. One of the goblins appears again, silhouetted, in an Easter egg in the email death metal.

A seaworthy bass
[edit] A Shark

At the Battle of the Bands, What's Her Face's bass guitar suddenly transforms into a shark, causing her to comment "My bass feels seaworthy". The shark then bites off the upper half of her body. "Ahhh! My most of me!" she laments.

Amazingly, the shark can also play a mean bass even without fingers. Cheerleader keeps him on to play backup and the remaining member(s) of Kissyboots finish the performance respectably. Alas, after the song ends, the shark can be heard snacking on Cheerleader.

[edit] Issue 9

Image Description
TEN O' CLOCK AND TWO O' CLOCK!
[edit] Learner's Permit Girl

This girl first appears in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. She is not a very good driver, and ends up DRiVER'S ED'ED...DEADing Cheerleader. On the plus side, she gives Strong Bad a ride to Babbage's.

He knew she'd come back to him
[edit] Science Fiction Greg

Science Fiction Greg is an old boyfriend of What's Her Face. See main article: The Gregs.

"Huzzah! OTAKU!"
[edit] Open Source Greg and Japanese Culture Greg

Though unnamed until later, these are two more geeky Gregs. See main article: The Gregs.

Doesn't like his style bitten
[edit] D n' D Greg

An apparent Dungeons and Dragons expert. See main article: The Gregs.

Vulture'd!
[edit] Vultures

When Mr. Pitters tries to join the Teen Girl Squad, these fiendish birds tell him that he "ain't no Teen Girl" before eating him at a fancy dinner. According to the second vulture, Mr. Pitters tastes "quite good, quite good." They may be an evolution of the vulture from Issue 2.

Starring Johnny Rite There as some sort of king.
[edit] Port-O-John

Port-O-John is a portable outhouse that came to life by growing eyes, a nose, a mustache, a mouth, hands and feet. A sign on his side reads "Johnny Rite There". It put on a play with So and So once Cheerleader died in Teen Girl Squad Issue 9. It didn't get very good reviews, however, and he is injured--perhaps killed--by Arrow'd Guy when a spear enters his frontside after penetrating So and So.

[edit] Issue 10

Image Description
Corn-based products are no place for him!
[edit] A Mighty Warrior

A tiny samurai armed with a naginata who bursts twice from corn-based products: "corn and corn alone" and corn chips. Both times he does so because they are "no place for a mighty warrior." After emerging from the corn chips, he lathe'd a spinning What's Her Face in two with his naginata. He also appeared in an Easter egg for myths & legends, fighting the corn army.

ACHGH!
[edit] Scotsmen

This "uppaclass" trio of burly, bearded, kilted Scots were drinking a frothy brew from a keg marked "XXX" when they were interrupted by Cheerleader's flirtation. Predictably, she was rejected and caber-tossed only 23 metres away for her efforts.

p4wned!
[edit] Manolios Ugly One

The Ugly One's father. Owns Manolios Ugly One's Lectro-pawn, specializing in used and broken electronic goods. See main article: Manolios Ugly One

"Oh, why, hello, The Ugly One, you're looking so makey outy tonight."
[edit] Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

One of Strong Bad's many exaggerated alter egos. He looks like an extremely chiseled construction worker. He makes an appearance when The Ugly One becomes hot, and Strong Bad imagines meeting her. After Sir Hotbod begins making out with The Ugly One, Strong Bad himself begins to do the same to the piece of loose-leaf they were drawn on, much to the bewilderment of onlookers Strong Mad, Strong Sad, and The Cheat. A sketch of him was in the Sketchbook once.

[edit] Issue 11

Image Description
Forebode!
[edit] Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper appears on the horizon as the girls drive off to summer camp. He forbodes and then bites into a hamburger. The girls do not take notice of him.

"GET BACK TO WORK!"
[edit] Shirt Folding Store Manager

The Shirt Folding Store Manager is So and So's manager at Shirt Folding Store. She is rude and aggressive to So and So, calls her "Mark" and tells her to "get to minimum wagin'". The manager is the only character in episode 11 not drawn in black and white. Her hair and face are constructed from a magazine photo of Mary-Kate Olsen. Her right arm is also drawn much longer than her left and her hands are drawn crudely. She is injured and/or killed by an Astronaut.

"Ckhk. Da da da DA!"
[edit] Astronaut

The astronaut suddenly appears in Shirt Folding Store and punches out the manager, his justification being that she killed his dog. His voice is distorted by the loudspeaker system built into his suit, and he starts each sentence with "Ckhk" as he turns it on. He has a cape and can fly.

Do YOU love her?
[edit] Raccoon Girl

Raccoon Girl is What's Her Face's bunkmate at the camp. She is weak and emaciated, feels unloved, and needs heavy medication, lest she "go into a coma". The overall concept of a "raccoon girl" may be derived from the fact that girls wearing heavy black eyeliner may be seen as "raccoon-like".

Not his wife!
[edit] Coughing Customer

A customer at Shirt Folding Store. He needs a present for his wife for their anniversary, and is so fat that multiple rolls of fat hang over each other. He coughs so much that So and So thinks that the present is for his coughiversary. Eventually he coughs up a baseball stadium complete with spectators and announcer just as a double play occurs. He feels it is necessary to point out that this is not his wife.

Shoplifting?
[edit] Leprechaun Strong Bad

A leprechaun version of Strong Bad appears over So and So's shoulder when she thinks about stealing the "trés cutée" shirt. Leprechaun Strong Bad is apparently So and So's bad conscience.

Big Brother is watching you...
[edit] Tentacle Camera

This floating camera with tentacles is the security system of Shirt Folding Store. It supposedly catches So and So shoplifting.

Scha-wing!
[edit] Camp Counselor Shortshorts

Camp Counselor Shortshorts is trying really hard not to be thought of as a square by What's Her Face and The Ugly One by using random "youthful" quotes. He only succeeds in winning over the girls by singing a song with them. He then meets his end at the hands of a Maniac in a Speedo. He appears to be based loosely off of Richard Simmons.

He stapled it down!
[edit] Chumbly Wumbly Bear

The Chumbly Wumbly Bear is the subject of the song that the girls sing with the counselor. According to the song, he "came a tumblin' down", but sold neither beans nor eggs - he couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't. Instead, he "stapled it down". He also wears a necktie like Yogi Bear.

Speedo'd!
[edit] Maniac in a Speedo

Maniac in a Speedo comes in at the end of the "Chumbly Wumbly Bear" song. As seen, he wears a paper bag to hide his face and uses a chainsaw to do his bidding. He cut The Ugly One and What's Her Face in half and did a number on Camp Counselor Shortshorts as well.

Jail'd!
[edit] C-dogg and Naptime

C-dogg and Naptime share a prison cell with So and So. It's not clear which inmate is which. Rubble D is apparently also in that cell or in a nearby one, but he isn't seen or heard. One of them is in a straitjacket, and has chicken feet. The other is a bulky, roundish man.

[edit] Issue 12

Image Description
Beard'd!
[edit] Patchbeard

Patchbeard is Cheerleader's first romantic interest on Valentimes Day and is the first one to give Cheerleader a card. Cheerleader also refers to him as Peter Puberty. After receiving the card, Cheerleader knocks him out with a blackjack.

"Band name. Band name."
[edit] Band Name Boys

These are the two boys from whom What's Her Face attempts to acquire a Valentine's Day card. They enjoy talking about band names; What's Her Face observes this and tells them she likes music, as well as cloth. One of the boys is surprised that she likes cloth, but the other thinks "she likes cloth" is a good band name. In an Easter egg, a CD cover with the name "she likes cloth" is shown, along with the top of the Band Name Boys' heads.

Dea'd!
[edit] Mrs. Embalmo

Mrs. Embalmo is the one lunchlady who did not give The Ugly One a card for Valentine's Day. She sports a hairnet and may have spiders living in her head, as evidenced by the spiderweb between her skull and the lunch-display glass.

TINES!
[edit] Tines Racer

The Tines Racer is a fork-shaped character who drives a "Tines Racing" car, named after the points on his head. He has a handlebar mustache and wears a scarf. He drives over So and So when she gets angry at the other girls' mispronunciation of "Valentine's".

"Let's get ready to gag me with a spoon!"
[edit] Mindy

Mindy was the "chief cheerleader" from 1984 to 1987. Many current cheerleaders, including Cheerleader, appear to look up to her to the point of worship, and they worship her at her own shrine.

"TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE"
[edit] Strong Bad Robot

This is a robot with Strong Bad's face on it who talks in Strong Bad's voice (with vocoder effects). He approves of "TECH-NO-LOGiCAL RO-MANCE" and sings a song about it twice.

"Whattaya mean I'm less than B?"
[edit] Class Prez

Class Prez has a "technological romance" with Cheerleader by text messaging her from a few feet away, but is dismayed when she tells him he is "less than B". His phone model, "CRKR" (short for "Cracker"), is a play on the Motorola cellular phone KRZR. The name itself is also a play on the recent naming of cell phones after foods like the LG Chocolate and the BlackBerry. This could also explain why the phone has a bite taken out of it. He is skewered by the USB Dongle Goblin. There are unknown reasons why one of his eyes is closed.

"Texting from a few feet away? FOR SHAME!"
[edit] Wireless Wizard

The Wireless Wizard dislikes people misusing wireless technology, such as sending text messages from a few feet away or making unidentifiable emoticons. He appears to be attracted to What's Her Face. As he is a wizard who specializes in technology, both Science Fiction Greg and D n' D Greg respect him, even as an adversary.

Here he comes!
[edit] The USB Dongle Goblin

The USB Dongle Goblin is a creature with a pointed nose and USB plug shaped body that arrives to skewer Cheerleader and Class Prez after Wireless Wizard mentions him. His shape is based on the emoticon Cheerleader used in her text message to Class Prez: >KO)->

"Gag me with a spoon!"
[edit] Mindy's Friends

It appears that Mindy held a similar friend circle to Teen Girl Squad. Their catchphrase was "Gag me with a spoon" instead of "SO GOOD!".

[edit] Issue 13

Image Description
"Awww, shush!"
[edit] Momkins

Momkins, also called Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmomerson by So and So, is Tompkins's mother. She is a robot dressed like a prospector with a deep masculine southern accent and stubble on her face. She apparently goes out prospecting to find a future ex-husband. Her character is likely a play on the term "Gold Digger", which refers to a woman who would marry for money, then divorce.

"Are all goo goos wah wahs?"
[edit] Timkins

Timkins is apparently Tompkins's baby brother. So and So has to babysit him along with Tompkins. As seen he has one hair on top of his head and a heavily pronounced unibrow.

"Please stop feeding me!"
[edit] Tompkins's Virtual Pet

Tompkins has a virtual pet which he overfeeds. Sketches of it appeared in the Sketchbook.

"And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?"
[edit] Buttcrack Plumber

The Buttcrack Plumber works for a company called Buttcrack Plumbing. Cheerleader calls him Randy, but it's questionable that the two were having the same conversation. However, in the DVD commentary for Issue 13, The Brothers Chaps call him "Randy Buttcrack", meaning this could indeed be his name. Assuming that Cheerleader meant to call him, he's on Cheerleader's "B-list" of boys. He has a plunger-shaped phone (or uses a plunger as a phone).

"Ya'll biscuitheads!"
[edit] Peacey P

Main article: Peacey P

Neither are Timkins' real father!
[edit] The Policemen

The police officers arrive at Tompkins's house to watch the Pay-per-view show ("Camptown, Jr. [vs.] Ola Toya at Caesars...") that The Ugly One ordered. So and So overreacts to their presence, and throws herself down the garbage disposal, but What's Her Face invites them in. They resemble police officers Eddie and Lou from The Simpsons. One of them seems to be attracted to Momkins.

[edit] Issue 14

Image Description
Cheerladder
[edit] Cheerladder

A student in the Teen Girl Squad's school who resembles a ladder. It carries a megaphone reading "G'backs", which refers to the school team, the Growlbacks.

Cheerlubber
[edit] Cheerlubber

A student in the Teen Girl Squad's school who resembles a whale. It wears a pirate's hat, an eyepatch and pom-poms.

DIXON TICONDEROGA LAZER BLADE ATTACK!
[edit] Scantron

Actually So and So in a mech suit she wears to complete tests. Its components include a number 2 pencil, scratch paper, a healthy breakfast and comfortable clothes. Its special power is "Dixon Ticonderoga Lazer Blade Attack". So and So wore this costume in preparation for her final exam, which she believes to be a standardized test. However, it turns out to be a "ditto", which exploits her weakness of the "Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage". The Strong Badman cover's declaration that this is "The CROSSOVER no one was asking for!" indicates that Scantron comes from a different comic book, most likely Teen Girl Squad itself.

Debut: Teen Girl Squad Issue 14

Frillsneck by name...
[edit] Mrs. Frillsneck

One of So and So's teachers. She administers the final exam.

HYPER TURBO FILL IN THE BLANK BARRAGE!!
[edit] MimeogWrath

The "ditto" test come to life, which battles (and wins against) So and So as Scantron. Its special power is "Hyper Turbo Fill in the Blank Barrage".

TOWEL BOY'D!!/TEAM MANAGER'D!!
[edit] Towel Boy/Team Manager

The towel boy for the gym, though he hates being called one. He dumps dirty laundry all over Cheerleader. He also proves he is a "team manager" by producing a stat book.

REVENGE OF THE CROSS COUNTRY BOOSTER CLUB BAKESALE!!
[edit] Evil Cake

The "Revenge of the Cross Country Booster Club Bakesale" lives in What's Her Face's locker and eats her when she attempts to clean said locker out. It claims that What's Her Face "tastes like 9 minute miles".

"Heh heh heh senior prank, senior prank."
[edit] The Seniors

Three senior boys who like pulling "senior pranks", which seem to consist entirely of mistreating The Ugly One. They vote her the most prettiest, ask if she wants to be the girlfriend of one of them, and pretend to offer her a ring. Quarterman dumps trash cans all over them.

[edit] Issue 15

Image Description
"Welcome American investor to the 2005 Consumer Robotics Show."
[edit] Chizuko

Chizuko is a robotic woman whom Japanese Culture Greg attempts to date. Her previous job was to introduce American investors to the 2005 Consumer Electronics Show. Science Fiction Greg notes that, though he might be expected to find robotic women interesting, Chizuko is far enough into the uncanny valley to make him want to vomit. She ends up frying Japanese Culture Greg with laser beams from her eyes.

"This prom has got spirit?"
[edit] Cheerleader Brian

Cheerleader Brian is Cheerleader's date to the prom. The other girls do not approve with her choice. Even when at the prom, he still tries to act like a cheerleader and annoys Cheerleader by waving his arms about and repeatedly referring to "prom spirit". He throws her up near a disco ball, which reflects a beam of light powerful enough to disintegrate her upper body.

"It's not so bad!"
[edit] Gutted Sheep

The gutted sheep appears when Manolios Ugly One threatens to gut D n' D Greg "like sheep". He assures D N'D Greg that being gutted isn't so bad, but when Manolios makes good on his threat, D n' D Greg accuses him of lying.

[edit] Homestar Ruiner

Image Description
"I guess I, like, represent symbolism and stuff?"
[edit] Moby Dick

As So and So reads a novel instead of watching the basketball game, the whale in her thought balloon eats her up. Moby Dick previously appeared in Main Page 3.

"Nuts."
[edit] Gangsters

At Mr. Pagliogaglioleri's request, two Italian mobsters A Splode What's Her Face's car as she tries to drive, one of them bears a striking resemblance to Harvax from level 9 of Stinkoman 20X6.

"I gotta look good despite my hairless legs."
[edit] Basketballa

A young basketball player that the Squad tries to attract. He needs to spend more time in the showers.

"I just need to get a picture for yearbook."
[edit] Medusa

A monster from Greek mythology who takes a yearbook picture of Cheerleader to turn her into stone. Medusa's plan succeeds due to Cheerleader's "lack of familiarity with Greek mythology".

"Not on my watch, The Ugly One!"
[edit] Robotic Penguin

An animatronic bird that shoots The Ugly One, as punishment for sneaking chocolate into the stadium. Then he takes the chocolate bar for himself, but chokes on it.

"What will our fair city do without this brave, robotic duck?"
[edit] Mayor

The mayor grieves the robotic penguin after its death, but initially mistakes it for a duck.

[edit] Cave Girl Squad

Image Description
"Check out dope ride."
[edit] Ogg Oggerson

The captain of the mammoth hunting team. The Squad appears to have a crush on him.

"Aw, hi, prit kit!"
[edit] Miss Jumblepuddins

A saber-toothed tiger cub who is mistaken for a kitten by one of the girls, who finds it cute and wants to adopt it and name it.

"SABER TOOTH'D! TIGER... in case that wasn't totally obvious..."
[edit] Sabertooth Tiger

The cub's mother, who does not like the idea of her baby being given a lame name and eats the girl who names the cub.

"Who's a recently domesticated boy? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"
[edit] Domesticated Wolf

A wolf the girls fawn over during caveman periods.

"Get back to work, or no drop of water for you this week!!!"
[edit] Slave Drivers

Modeled after the people depicted in Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, the slave drivers force the girls to build pyramids.

"I AM THE DOG-HEADED GOD OF DEATH!!!"
[edit] Anubis

The "dog-headed Egyptian lord of the dead", who kills one of the girls as punishment for taking him basket shopping.

"We're gonna be best BFFs forever!"
[edit] Dinosaur

A dinosaur hatches out of the egg given to one of the girls at the beginning of the issue. After its birth, the girl gets hit by a meteor, allowing the dinosaur to outlive mammals.

"SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!!!"
[edit] Lizard Teen Girl Squad

When the last mammalian Teen Girl is killed by a meteor, the dinosaurs once more rule the Earth.

"Check out my new 12-inch woofers, y'all!!!"
[edit] Charles Darwin

With his boom box, he challenges the Lizard Teen Girl Squad to a "survival of the phattest".


[edit] Teen Girl Squad Meets Limozeen

Image Description
"Backup?...OK!"
[edit] Roadie

This roadie, who apparently drives Limozeen's tour bus, accidentally ran over So and So.

ARENA ROCKED!
[edit] Helicopter Pilot

This character pilots the helicopter that kills What's Her Face.

[edit] 4 Gregs

Image Description
"You have been chosen."
[edit] Short Girl

A Short Girl with a hunched back, wearing glasses, braces and her hair in a ponytail, whom Cheerleader treats harshly in 4 Gregs.

From AP Calculus!
[edit] Regular Greg

Regular Greg has no special traits, but acts as the Growlbacks mascot at football games. He also attends AP Calculus class with D N'D Greg. He is dirty in appearance, much like the costume he wears. This may be because when D N'D Greg mistook Regular Greg for a "level 4 shambling Krenshar" attacking a "slightly attractive, slightly overweight, color guard maiden", he tackled him and began to stomp on his chest.

Slightly attractive. And slightly overweight.
[edit] Color Guard Maiden

The Color Guard Maiden, who is described as being slightly attractive and slightly overweight, stood next to the Growlbacks Mascot at the football game. Dn'D Greg believed she was in danger, which led to him beating up Regular Greg while she looked on in satisfaction. She can be seen dancing at the Priggidy Prizom with Tompkins.

"Eheheheheheheheheheheheh"
[edit] Football Players

The Football players seem to enjoy beating up nerds like the Gregs. During half time, they appeared behind the Gregs and gave them explicit wedgies.

[edit] Other

Image Description
jugga jigga wugga
[edit] Brainkrieg

First seen in death metal, Brainkrieg is a death metal band in Strong Bad's imagination that seems to use all of the wrong "d-e" words in their song (deli-style, dentist).

Main Article: Brainkrieg

No match.
[edit] The Corn Army

The army debuted in an Easter Egg in myths & legends. It is apparently led by Cephas Cornwall, but is no match for A Mighty Warrior.

Too many long sentences!
[edit] Daphne

Daphne is named after the "typical college girl" who wrote the email featured in pizza joint. She tries to invite the Squad to Strong Bad's Strong Badian Pizza Place, but they lose interest since the name is so long.

I'th hath a cruth on ethry boy'th!
[edit] Meredith

Meredith appeared in love poems as an example of "Meredithian" poetic style, where every word she spoke ended in "th." Cheerleader cannot stand the way she talks. She was killed by a spear thrown by Arrow'd Guy.

I herly berly on gerly werly!
[edit] Kimberly

Kimberly appeared in love poems as an example of "Kimberlian" poetic style. She talks by saying -erly on the end of nearly every word. She has fangs. She was killed, along with Meredith, by a spear thrown by Arrow'd Guy.

[edit] Quotes of the Week

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