From Homestar Runner Wiki
A fun little "game" that gives you a new fortune every time you click on a fortune cookie. It used to be in the Museum, but it was moved to the Handheld Games Menu when the game menu was remodeled.
Date: October 29, 2000, or earlier
Page Title: Homestar Runner Fortune Cookies
 List of Fortunes
 Left cookie
- Maybe try and be a little funnier.
- From now on, give only high-fives.
- Switching soaps cold turkey will give you a rash.
- Start a little fire. A little one!
- Things are about to get a whole lot flimsier.
- Hey, it worked for Taft.
- Tell your boss to quit. Then take their job.
- Start putting stamps on all your emails.
- There are some dishes under your bed that you should just throw away.
- It's not lazy if it's hilarious.
- Buy me a sandwich.
- Laugh your way out of a tense bathroom situation.
- You will tire of your mayonnaise and it will grow tired of you.
- Girls shouldn't casually wear ball caps.
- The backwards alphabet is just as important as the frontwards one.
- A pillow fort simply cannot last.
- Greatness can be measured in arguments won.
- A true friend will tell you how stupid that shirt looks.
- Brush up on knock-knock jokes. They're on their way back.
- Start adding sugar to coke. That's why they put it on the table.
- A life of luxury will end in buxury.
 Middle cookie
- Gimme a dollar.
- Length x width = height. No wait. I mean area.
- Make it great. Next time don't be late.
- You've got something between your teeth. Something green.
- Ask me about super-dooper savings.
- Wait by the phone. See if it rings.
- It's not mean if it's hilarious.
- Ugliness is next to you. Scooch on over.
- Have a good time, all the time.
- Stop listening to country music.
- Make a little guy out of a paperclip.
- Park in a secret place where no one can find you.
- Your primary goal will be washing up.
- You will spot a food store with your name. You aren't related.
- An authority figure will look at you through X-Ray specs.
- You will fight for a just cause, just 'cause.
- Clumsiness will bring about a change of pants.
- Your friends wonder if they met you now, would they still like you?
- Homonyms will give you trouble at a social function.
- You will avoid laundry altogether and buy more socks.
 Right cookie
- Don't skip school... skip class.
- It's not illegal if it's hilarious.
- Remember that time you lied to your mom?
- Briefly, let's discuss your underwear.
- The likelihood is great that you will bring home some bacon.
- Your potential is full, empty it out. It's starting to stink.
- Don't wait for a reason to give up, just stop trying.
- Will you go with me?
- Why not try some moldy bread. You might not vomit.
- Little things add up to a little bit.
- "They" say "you" are "stupid." Whatever that means.
- Treat others as if they treated you first.
- Lighten your load by doing less work.
- Pay no attention to the man in the parentheses.
- Begin saying 'toot' backwards. No one will ever know.
- Try a little levitation.
- Yellow text is hard to read.
- The truth is, banana peels just aren't that slippery.
- Stop picking at it.
 Fun Facts
You are not as good as most people.
- All of the slips of paper read "You are very ugly indeed" (or, possibly, "You very dead") and "You are not as good as most people" before they are completely unraveled.
- Due to this, when "yellow text is hard to read" comes up, it's black until it's completely unfolded.
- When it asks "Will you go with me?", you can check off either answer, but nothing happens.
- There are 61 possible fortunes in all, with:
- 21 for the first cookie.
- 20 for the second cookie.
- 20 for the third cookie.
 Inside References
- The fortune cookie that reads www.thoraxcorp.com is an obvious reference to the Thorax Corporation.
 Real-World References
 Fast Forward
 External Links