User:DorianGray/Analysis of Senor Cardgage's Speech Patterns

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Senor Cardgage's speech patterns are quite unusual. More talking, explaining. Some cool phrase that's almost one word, and not quite another. Call at you as if you were a lady, even for dudes.


[edit] Senor Cardgage's Speech in Chronological Order

Quote Toon Context Comments
"Oh, excardon me!" Email kind of cool (2003) Response to seeing Homestar Combination of "Excuse me" and "Pardon me".
"I'm very sorry, ma'am, but could you help an old denominator, like me, gather his spectacles?" Email kind of cool (2003) Asking Strong Mad to get his glasses Refers to self as a "denominator", and to Strong Mad as "ma'am".
"I'm sorry, ma'am. Would you mind helping an old wintergreen gather his spectacles?" Email kind of cool (2003) Asking Strong Mad to get his glasses Refers to self as a "wintergreen", and to Strong Mad as "ma'am".
"Sorry to bother you, ma'am. Could you help an old Soderbergh gather his spectacles?" Email kind of cool (2003) Asking Strong Mad to get his glasses Refers to self as a "Soderbergh", and to Strong Mad as "ma'am".
"Thank you, ma'am, would you care for a slice of gum?" Email kind of cool (2003) Offering Strong Bad a stick of gum Replaces "stick" with "slice" (it is actually a slice, if one wants to get technical), and refers to Strong Bad as "ma'am".
"I have to be going, Ethel. I've got some important lines to stand in." Email kind of cool (2003) Leaving Strong Bad Refers to Strong Bad as "Ethel". Wants to "stand in some important lines", which is normally the last thing someone would want.
"Ex-obably not." Email kind of cool (2003) Replying to whether Strong Bad will ever see him again. Variant on "probably".
"Many combolations, Elizagerth! I hope you get all my... particles." Email flashback (2004) Congratulating Strong Bad on his 100th email. Combination of "combination" and "congratulations". Refers to Strong Bad as "Elizagerth", and refers to (perhaps) presents as "particles".
"Hi there, Belindas! I'm Senor Cardgage for Senor Cardgage Mort-gage. We can help you get a leg up on the pile! Low rates, percent signs... I dunno..." Senor Mortgage (2004) Greeting a commercial viewer. Except for "Belindas", this is a totally normal group of sentences. "On the pile" is uncommon, and "percent signs" is referring to interest rates. His pronunciation of "mortgage" is merely phonetic.
"No probalo!" Senor Mortgage (2004) Reassurance about bad credit. Muddled version of mock-Spanish "No problemo".
"Home Lawn, Escrow, Re-Financin' — you name it, we've got it! Come along down for a free canceltation with one of our handsome talking experts. One o' them said they'd buy me lunch. But I don't see nobody taking me to Chick-fil-A." Senor Mortgage (2004) Services offered by company. Variant of "home loan". Combination of "cancellation" and "consultation". Otherwise mostly normal, except for a double negative.
"You're every welcome, Valerie." Senor Mortgage (2004) Replying to the Visor Robot Uses "every" instead of "very". Refers to the Visor Robot as "Valerie".
"Act now and see if you can stand to talk to me for more than four seconds!" Senor Mortgage (2004) Enticing viewers. No errors, but perhaps noting his own odd speech patterns.
"Look at this can of peas, Helvetica. Won't you help me buy it for you?" Email garage sale (2005) Offering to buy something for Strong Sad. Refers to Strong Sad as "Helvetica". The last sentence is also unusual, as one does not normally need help to buy something for another person. It should also be "let me" instead of "help me".
"I dan't know why. Exprecially since you have this can of peas to look forward to." Email garage sale (2005) Replying to Strong Sad's discomfort. "Dan't" instead of "don't". Combination of "express" and "especially".
"It won't be here forever. So come see me and this little dog for vera low prices!!" Senorial Day (2005) Enticing viewers "Vera" instead of "very". Refers to the Wagon Fulla Pancakes as "this little dog".
"Those were all good years. Don't let another minute go you by." Senorial Day (2005) More enticing. "Go you by" instead of "pass you by".
"My left name is "Tremendous Savings", Ms. America! Go out for a pass!" Senorial Day (2005) Interacting with Strong Bad, who asked for tremendous savings. "Left" instead of "last" (or possibly "middle", as is usual). Refers to Strong Bad as "Ms. America".
"Bring on down your whole fambly! We'll set up some tents and hot dogs for your... babies. Those like those, right?" Senorial Day (2005) Enticing viewers again. "Fambly" instead of "family". Doesn't know whether babies like tents and hot dogs.
"You doe NOT want to miss any Senorial Day savings action!" Senorial Day (2005) Still more enticing. "Doe" instead of "do".
"Wake up! Senorial Day is here with the vengeance!" Senorial Day (2005) Enticing. No particularly unusual constructions, save "the" instead of "a".
"You bet! How 'bout I hit ya on the slant?" Senorial Day (2005) Giving Strong Bad his ball back No particularly unusual constructions.
"Let the little childrens know." Email alternate universe (2006) Line in a song. Only unusual bit is the pluralising of "children".
"Alonzo Mourning to you, Myrtlebeth. Say hello to my tacklebox." Email alternate universe (2006) Greeting Strong Bad. "Alonzo Mourning" instead of "Good morning". Refers to Strong Bad as "Myrtlebeth".
"Well, if you could just sign right here on the dotty line, the adaption will be complete." Email alternate universe (2006) To Strong Bad. "Dotty" instead of "dotted", "adaption" instead of "adoption".
"I got fourteen degrees while on my lunch take. Now I can legally prescribe marriages in the state of Kansattica." Email theme song (2006) Still enticing them viewers. "Lunch take" instead of "lunch break". Unknown what the state of Kansattica is.
"Good efening, Bontilda. Forty-twone will be on your lest." Email the movies (2007) Taking Strong Bad's ticket. "Efening" instead of "evening", and "lest" instead of "left". Combination of "Forty-two" and "forty-one". Refers to Strong Bad as "Bontilda".
"Hey, Grendolyn! Don't bogart that settlement now!" Email rough copy (2007) Asking Strong Bad to share his candy bar. Refers to Strong Bad as "Grendolyn", and the candy bar as "settlement".
"Why, hello, Miss Trela. Check out Senor Cardgage's Intregway." Email concert (2007) Welcoming viewers again. Playing on Strong Bad's pronounciation of "intriguéd". Refers to the viewers as "Ms. Trela".
"Dump tell no mandy, it's just a land mower turned bankways! If you help me buy it, I'll cut you in!" Email concert (2007) Enticing viewers again. "Dump tell no mandy" seems to be "Don't tell anybody". "Land mower" and "bankways" instead of "lawn mower" and "backwards".
"Oh... I should eat a pony." Email original (2007) After taking Homestar's order. Complete nonsense, but also completely grammatical.
"Oh. Hello-quialism. Who are these guys?" Email diorama (2007) A greeting, and confusion. Combination of "hello" and "colliquialism". Refers to a shoe as "these guys".
"This is not what I sagged on for." Email diorama (2007) Expressing displeasure. "Sagged on" instead of "signed on".
"Carrageenan, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp?" Email fan club (2008) A greeting and request. Part of the "Non Sequitur Challenge". Uses "carrageenan" as a greeting, and refers to someone (possibly Strong Sad) as "Monteljohn". "Detect" instead of "direct", and "bus stamp" instead of "bus stop".
"Where is Tompkins? Where is Cole Slaw? Here I am!" Email licensed (2008) Sung at his shady daycare center. Bizarre (and a little creepy), but not ungrammatical. Uses "coleslaw" as a name.
"Thank yo, Presbyterian." Non-Sequitur Champion (2008) A greeting. "Yo" instead of "you". Refers to Homestar as "Presbyterian".
"Panctice... Squad... Cutterback." Non-Sequitur Champion (2008) Attempting to speak grammatically. Practice squad quarterback
"Oh... Lifty Fernandez." Non-Sequitur Champion (2008) Attempting to speak grammatically. Complete garglemesh of a name.
"Grape... soda... banked?" Non-Sequitur Champion (2008) Attempting to speak grammatically. Technically grammatical, but not exactly normal.
"I'm sorry, Bridget, but can I steep some identificaption?" Email rated (2008) Asking for Strong Bad's ID. Uses "steep" instead of "see", and a combination of "identification" and "caption". Refers to Strong Bad as "Bridget".
"Soggy, Junior. Come back when you're all grold up." Email rated (2008) Denying Strong Bad entry. "Soggy" instead of "sorry", and a combination of "grown" and "old". Refers to Strong Bad as "Junior".
"Hey, Brethany. Are you came to fetch the dodgers?" Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) Greeting Strong Bad. Refers to Strong Bad as "Brethany". Unknown what he's asking of Strong Bad. Between this and all later lines in this game, it is clear that Senor Cardgage does not realize that Strong Bad is filming a movie.
"No, the kids are all went to the mallvies." Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) In response to Strong Bad mentioning a "kidnapping", which takes place in his movie. Combines "mall" and "movies". Uses "went" instead of "gone".
"If you go to the store, can you buychase me a cheese burgwich?" Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) After Strong Bad says he'll go to the "Mallvies Catacombs". Combines "buy" and "purchase", and "burger" and "sandwich".
"No, I was just on my fiftee-nute break." Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) After Strong Bad says that he feared he'd lost "Dadgeresque" forever. Combines "fifteen" and "minute".
"There were some ducks in the wadger, but they lest away, I guess." Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) After Strong Bad says that Dangeresque and Dadgeresque can be a family again. Uses "wadger" instead of "water", and "lest away" instead of "left".
"Mostly linin' up the doughnuts... I dunno." Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) Strong Bad asks what "Dadgeresque" has been doing all this time. Unusual, but not grammatically incorrect.
"Okay then, Israel. I could really go for a nice cold marmalade." Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) In response to Strong Bad saying what he (as Dangeresque) has had to do on his own. Calls Strong Bad "Israel". Second sentence is grammatically correct, but it's possible he means "lemonade" or "melonade" instead of "marmalade", as they make more sense in context. (Notably, Homestar has accidentally used "marmalade" in place of "melonade" in Fluffy Puff Commercial.)
"That's real brootiful, Jennifer. Can I bo-roach it for my prong date?" Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) Strong Bad shows him the trinket that "Dadgeresque" left him. Calls Strong Bad "Jennifer". Says "brootiful" instead of "beautiful" and "prong" instead of "prom" (notably, Senor Cardgage is portrayed as far older than the usual participants at a prom), and he combines "borrow" and "broach".
"Okay. No thanks for all." Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) When Strong Bad shows him the nunchuck gun. Most likely, he thinks Strong Bad is trying to give him the gun and is declining it.
"Oh, thanks for the recyclables, Angela. Thas will make a pretty good blanketer." Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) After Strong Bad shows him the newspaper. Refers to the newspaper as "recyclables", though this isn't completely wrong. Uses "thas" instead of "this" and "blanketer" instead of "blanket". Refers to Strong Bad as "Angela".
"Is this where I pawnder my old pidgeon?" Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective (2008) During the scene at the kidnapper's hideout. Clearly does not know why he was brought to the top of Bubs' Concession Stand. "Pawnder" could be a combination of "pawn" and "launder", but it's unknown whether he's talking about a real pigeon or something else.
"Oh, tapes. This will really lower your grampson's GPA." strongbad_email.exe Disc Six (2008) FBI Warning Sees the word "tapes" in "video tapes" and takes it. Thinks tapes might help reduce school GPAs. "Grampson" is a combination of "gramps" and "grandson".
"No, this steak samwich is Beverly clearly my comprooter, Bathsheba." Email hremail3184 (2009) In reply to Strong Bad's comments on the Female Lappy 486's speech patterns. Believes a steak sandwich to be his "comprooter", although it's possible he's just trying to score a meal. Adds "Beverly" instead of "very" in front of "clearly", and refers to Strong Bad as "Bathsheba".
"Hello, Chi Minh?" A Decemberween Mackerel (2010) Answering the door at his "residence". His sentence is a reference to Ho Chi Minh, a Vietnamese war revolutionary, although it's unlikely that he knows this.
"Is this a frank call?" A Decemberween Mackerel (2010) Responding to Marzipan's voice, who he's facing away from. Frank instead of prank.
"Thank you, Hot Pooey. Would you care to coincide?" A Decemberween Mackerel (2010) Inviting Homestar into his bush. Refers to Homestar as "Hot Pooey", and "coincide" is used instead of "go inside".
"Oh, my Toyota Cressida!" A Decemberween Mackerel (2010) Complaining before collapsing face first into the snow. "Toyota Cressida" is clearly a subsitute for an unspecified body part.
"You might paste away if you Dinty Moore." A Decemberween Mackerel (2010) Related to the audience by Strong Bad as an example of Senor Cardgage's incoherent speech. "Paste away" is uncommon, it may or may not be a variant of "waste away". Dinty Moore, a kind of beef stew, is being used as a verb. It also sounds as though he's saying "didn't eat more", especially in the context of Strong Bad's repeat of the line. It could also mean that Strong Bad will "pass away" if he "didn't eat more".
"You rally might, Pez dispenser." A Decemberween Mackerel (2010) Responding to Strong Bad's skepticism of the line mentioned above. "Rally" instead of "really". He seems to be warning Strong Bad about something, although it's unknown what it means. Strong Bad is referred to as "Pez dispenser"; this may be because of Senor's habit of giving those around him bizarre nicknames, or because he's dying and may be hallucinating Strong Bad is actually a Pez dispenser.
"Oh, my grabness grabness! It really is a Decemberween Mackerel!" A Decemberween Mackerel (2010) Cured of whatever ailment he claimed to have. "Grabness grabness" to be "goodness gracious". Decemberween Mackerel is said by all characters.
"Conjunctivitis..." Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 17.2 (2016) A small part of a message left on Marzipan's answering machine. This may or may not be part of a coherent thought, as only one word of the message is heard. The context is unknown. However, all of the other callers simply address Marzipan, so it is possible that he is referring to Marzipan as "Conjunctivitis".
"Hot zervy, Colindula. I've been Kuwaiting for you all nice." Later That Night... (2016) A greeting to Strong Bad as he, Strong Mad and The Cheat trick-or-treat at his bush. He calls Strong Bad "Colindula". "Kuwaiting" is a portmanteau of "Kuwait" and "waiting", and he says "nice" instead of "night"; apparently he has been waiting for Strong Bad to trick-or-treat there.
"Go ahead, take as money as you like. And then I'll call the police." Later That Night... (2016) Inviting Strong Bad to take some melty candy bars. He says "money" instead of "many". The second sentence, while surprising and said with an odd inflection, is grammatical. It is unknown why Cardgage wants to call the police on Strong Bad.
"Prude me in, Couch Z. I'm Reggie Toupée." Email too cool (2017) To Coach Z in the gymnasium, wearing the Team Kneepads uniform, as well as dead animals for kneepads. He says "prude" instead of "put" and calls Coach Z "Couch Z" (which is turned into an Easter egg at the end). He is clearly wishing to be put into the game, although he bungles the phrase "ready to play" into "Reggie Toupée". This, however, seems to be turned into a nickname for him, as evidenced by the announcer after Cardgage's line.
"No, I bronk my own." Email too cool (2017) Informing Strong Bad that he's brought his own video camera to record his character video— an old air-freshener. He says "bronk" instead of "brought". Otherwise fairly coherent, minus the obvious fact that he's proposing using an old key-lime-pie-scented air-freshener as a video camera.
"It's clearly state-of-the-arp." Email too cool (2017) Assuring Strong Bad of the quality of his "video camera". He says "arp" instead of "art". Again, otherwise coherent aside from still being convinced that an old air-freshener is a functional video camera.
"Mash play, Polenta." Email too cool (2017) Instructing Strong Bad to (somehow) start recording. He calls Strong Bad "Polenta" and references mashing. It is unclear how Cardgage expects Strong Bad to start recording on the air-freshener, but he seems to respond to him tapping it uncertainly.
"Protuberances abound, Regolith!" Email too cool (2017) A greeting/introduction for his character video. Cardgage lapses into his usual incoherent nonsense, a fitting start to his character video.
"I'm Seron Cardgage, the lead star from Characters Website! I'd like to pintroduce you to the Family Might/Could!" Email too cool (2017) Introducing himself to the viewers of his mysterious "Betaflop-D" character video. He mispronounces his own first name as "Seron", and possibly refers to as "Characters Website", believing himself to be the star of it. He then introduces (said as "pintroduces") the "Family Might/Could", a disturbing face drawn on his folds of skin; the reason behind the name is completely unknown. It is worth noting that the video seems to curse everyone who watches it for life.
"Hedge, Package Sirloin!" Email too cool (2017) Said in a high-pitched voice, presumably speaking as the "Family Might/Could". "Hedge" seems to be used as a variant of "hello", and he calls the viewers "Package Sirloin". While it is still unknown what the Family Might/Could is even supposed to be, it seems to be just as incoherent, if not more, than Senor Cardgage speaking as himself.

[edit] Analysis and Summary

Senor Cardgage's speech is strange. It is similar to Homsar's in that it is very random. While Homsar's speech patterns are typically irrelevant to the situation, Senor Cardgage seems to be a little more aware of his surroundings. However, he still seems to have a loose grasp on the world around him, and an indirect way of communicating with others. Most of his statements are somewhat coherent and make a bit of sense in context, but using portmanteaus, malapropisms, and other randomness to make his speech harder to understand. He commonly uses phrases that are "almost one word and not quite another", like "Excardon me." Almost all of his phrases have logical meanings that relate to the situation, despite mixing up his words frequently and making up new ones. It seems that he has steadily become less coherent over the years, as some of his earlier appearances were far more understandable. In later toons, his randomness has been exaggerated to the point where it even breaks the laws of physics, similar to Homsar's mysterious ways.

[edit] Possible Section about the names he's referred people to

  • Strong Mad: ma'am
  • Strong Bad: ma'am, Ethel, Ms. America, Myrtlebeth, Elizagerth, Grendolyn, Bontilda, Bridget, Junior, Brethany, Jennifer, Israel, Angela, Bathsheba, Colindula, Polenta
  • Viewers: Belindas, Ms. Trela, Regolith, Package Sirloin
  • Visor Robot: Valerie
  • Wagon Fulla Pancakes: this little dog
  • A shoe: these guys
  • Strong Sad: Monteljohn, Helvetica
  • Homestar Runner: Presbyterian, Hot Pooey
  • Himself: Tremendous Savings (AKA T. Mendous Savings), Reggie Toupée, Seron Cardgage
  • A newspaper: recyclables
  • Coach Z: Couch Z

[edit] See Also


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