Cold One

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Revision as of 22:22, 14 December 2010

The Cold One motto

Cold One is the most popular brand of beer in Free Country, USA. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually alcoholic or not, it is shown in Peasant's Quest that the Kerrek rejects Cold Ones because he is a teetotaler. Also, since the Strong Bad screensaver displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", and that Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are "brewed in Foreign Lands", the conclusion must be that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. In addition, "Room Temp-A-Ture Ones" could possibly be referring to the stereotype that the English prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.

It is revealed in the email "super powers" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.

The Property of Ones

See main article: Bogus Mathematical Theorems

According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following Property of Ones:

Or in other words:

Types of Ones

Type	Picture	About	Appearances
Cold Ones		Preferred by Strong Bad.	Seen: Where My Hat Is At?; Theme Song Video; super powers; flag day; Strong Bad's Website; video games; Population: Tire; garage sale; Senorial Day; Strong Bad is a Bad Guy; pop-up; unnatural (Easter Egg) Mentioned or implied: property of ones; theme party; suntan; Peasant's Quest; for kids; Commandos in the Classroom; strongbad_email.exe; strongbad_email.exe Disc Three; coloring
Cool Ones	not seen	A nice alternative on spring nights.	property of ones (mentioned)
Not So Cold Ones		Enjoyed by Coach Z and Bubs.	property of ones impression Happy Fireworks
Room Temp-A-Ture Ones		A foreign brand brewed in Foreign Lands.	property of ones
Wärm Önes		Foreign brand straight from the oven.	property of ones
Cold None	not seen	Not to be wished on anyone	property of ones (mentioned)
One That Is Not Cold	not seen	What the sender of property of ones almost drank. Scarcely a One at all.	property of ones (mentioned)
Xtra Cold Ones		A step up from Cold Ones.	Cheat Commandos; theme park
Cold One Ice		Thrown at a moose lamp.	portrait
'old One		Enjoyed by Pom Pom, Homestar Runner, and Strong Bad.	Summer Short Shorts Date Nite Play Date hiding
Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones		From the screensaver.	Strong Bad Screensaver
Cold Ones Light		A light variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the Old Style beer logo (see comparison).	Ever and More! Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective
Expen$e Account Ones		Enjoyed while on a business trip.	business trip
Cold Ones Dry		A dry variation of a Cold One, official beverage of Taranchula.	buried Strong Badia the Free Baddest of the Bands Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective
Coldson Lite		A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and The Cheat. It may be a reference to Molson, a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of Coors Light — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.	labor day lunch special rock opera Happy Fireworks theme song unnatural (Easter egg) Ever and More! hremail3184
Cold Ones Extra Stout Black		"So rich, thick, and dark, you can't believe it's a liquid." Seems to refer to Guinness.	Strong Badia The Free
Colden Ones		A variation of the Cold One. Enjoyed by Homestar Runner before the Big Game. May be a reference to "Molson Golden".	Where My Hat Is At? (toon)
PONK!		Enjoyed by Bubs.	hremail3184
Hops and Icy Cold One flavored ice cream			8-Bit Is Enough

See Also

• Alcohol