Cold One

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==Types of Ones==
==Types of Ones==
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*''Cold Ones'' — Preferred by Strong Bad.
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{| border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2 style="border-collapse:collapse"
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*''Cool Ones'' — A nice alternative on spring nights.
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|- bgcolor=#eeeeee
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*''Not So Cold Ones'' — Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]].
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! Type !! Picture !! About !! Appearances
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*''Room Temp-A-Ture Ones'' — A foreign brand brewed in [[:Category:Foreign Lands|Foreign Lands]].
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|-
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*''Wärm Önes'' — Foreign brand straight from the oven.
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| <center>Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || Preferred by [[Strong Bad]]. ||
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*''Cold None'' &mdash; Not to be wished on anyone.
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*Seen: [[Where My Hat Is At?]]; [[Theme Song Video]]; [[super powers]]; [[flag day]]; [[Strong Bad's Website]]; [[video games]]; [[Population: Tire]]; [[theme park]]; [[garage sale]]; [[Senorial Day]]; [[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]; [[pop-up]]; [[unnatural]] (Easter Egg)
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*''Xtra Cold Ones'' &mdash; A step up from Cold Ones.
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*Mentioned or implied: [[property of ones]]; [[theme party]]; [[suntan]]; [[Peasant's Quest]]; [[for kids]]; [[Commandos in the Classroom]]; [[strongbad_email.exe]]; [[strongbad_email.exe Disc Three]]; [[coloring]]
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*''Cold One Ice'' &mdash; Thrown at a [[Cow Lamp|moose lamp]].
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|-
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*''<nowiki>'</nowiki>old One'' &mdash; Enjoyed by [[Pom Pom]], [[Homestar Runner]], and [[Strong Bad]].
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| <center>Cool Ones</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || A nice alternative on spring nights. ||
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*''Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones'' &mdash; From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]].
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*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
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*''One That Is Not Cold'' &mdash; The sender of [[property of ones]] almost drank this brand. Scarcely a One at all.
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|-
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*''Cold Ones Light'' &mdash; A [[Wikipedia:Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Wikipedia:Pabst Brewing Company#Old Style|Old Style]] beer logo ([[:Image:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]).
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| <center>Not So Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:notsocold.PNG|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed by [[Coach Z]] and [[Bubs]]. ||
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*''Expen$e Account Ones'' &mdash; Enjoyed while on a [[business trip]].
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*[[property of ones]]
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*''Cold Ones Dry'' &mdash; A [[Wikipedia:Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]].
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*[[impression]]
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<gallery>
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*[[Happy Fireworks]]
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Image:Cold One.PNG|<center>Cold One</center>
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|-
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Image:notsocold.PNG|<center>Not So Cold One</center>
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| <center>Room Temp-A-Ture Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:roomone.PNG|45px]]</center> || A foreign brand brewed in [[:Category:Foreign Lands|Foreign Lands]]. ||
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Image:roomone.PNG|<center><small>Room Temp-A-Ture One</small></center>
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*[[property of ones]]
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Image:warmone.PNG|<center>W&auml;rm &Ouml;nes</center>
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|-
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Image:Xtra Cold One.PNG|<center>Xtra Cold One</center>
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| <center>W&auml;rm &Ouml;nes</center> || <center>[[Image:warmone.PNG|45px]]</center> || Foreign brand straight from the oven. ||
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Image:Cold One Ice.PNG|<center>Cold One Ice</center>
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*[[property of ones]]
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Image:Oldone.PNG|<center>'Old One</center>
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|-
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Image:Cold Ones Light.PNG|<center>Cold Ones Light</center>
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| <center>Cold None</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || Not to be wished on anyone ||
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Image:Expense Account Ones.png|<center>Expen$e Account Ones</center>
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*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
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</gallery>
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|-
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| <center>One That Is Not Cold</center> || <center>''not seen''</center> || The sender of [[property of ones]] almost drank this brand. Scarcely a One at all. ||
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== Coldson Lite ==
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*[[property of ones]] (mentioned)
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[[Image:coldsonlite02.PNG|thumb|162px|The Cheat's cold one of choice]]
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|-
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'''Coldson Lite''' is a Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Molson|Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Wikipedia:Coors Light|Coors Light]] &mdash; a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.
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| <center>Xtra Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Xtra Cold One.PNG|45px]]</center> || A step up from Cold Ones. ||
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{{clear}}
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*[[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]]
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|-
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==Appearances==
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| <center>Cold One Ice</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold One Ice.PNG|112px]]</center> || Thrown at a [[Cow Lamp|moose lamp]]. ||
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<table width="100%">
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*[[portrait]]
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<autocolumn cols="3" width="33%">
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|-
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*'''Debut:''' [[Where My Hat Is At?]]
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| <center><nowiki>'</nowiki>old One</center> || <center>[[Image:Oldone.PNG|55px]]</center> || Enjoyed by [[Pom Pom]], [[Homestar Runner]], and [[Strong Bad]]. ||
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*[[Theme Song Video]]
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*[[Summer Short Shorts]]
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*Email [[super powers]]
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*[[Date Nite]]
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*Email [[flag day]]
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|-
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*Email [[property of ones]] (Cold None [mentioned], Not So Cold One, Room Temp-A-Ture Ones, W&auml;rm &Ouml;ne, Cool One [mentioned])
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| <center>Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold_One_Premium_Alcoholic_Screen_Saver.png|180px]]</center> || From the [[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|screensaver]]. ||
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*Email [[theme party]] (mentioned)
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*[[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver|Strong Bad Screensaver]]
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*[[Strong Bad's Website]]
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|-
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*Email [[suntan]] (mentioned)
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| <center>Cold Ones Light</center> || <center>[[Image:Cold Ones Light.PNG|97px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Light beer|light]] variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the [[Wikipedia:Pabst Brewing Company#Old Style|Old Style]] beer logo ([[:Image:Cold Ones Light Old Style.png|see comparison]]). ||
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*Email [[impression]] (Not-So-Cold One)
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*[[Ever and More!]]
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*Email [[labor day]] (Coldson Lite)
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|-
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*Email [[video games]]
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| <center>Expen$e Account Ones</center> || <center>[[Image:Expense Account Ones.png|45px]]</center> || Enjoyed while on a [[business trip]]. ||
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*Email [[lunch special]] (Coldson Lite)
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*[[business trip]]
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*[[Cheat Commandos (toon)|Cheat Commandos]] (Xtra Cold Ones)
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|-
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*[[Population: Tire]]
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| <center>Cold Ones Dry</center> || <center>[[Image:coldonesdry.png|180px]]</center> || A [[Wikipedia:Pale lager|dry]] variation of a Cold One, official beverage of [[Taranchula]]. ||
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*Email [[theme park]]
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*[[buried]]
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*[[Peasant's Quest]] (mentioned)
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|-
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*Email [[for kids]] (mentioned)
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| <center>Coldson Lite</center> || <center>[[Image:coldsonlite02.PNG]]</center> || A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and [[The Cheat]]. It may be a reference to [[Wikipedia:Molson|Molson]], a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of [[Wikipedia:Coors Light|Coors Light]] &mdash; a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004. ||
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*Email [[rock opera]] (Coldson Lite)
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*[[labor day]]
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*Email [[garage sale]]
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*[[lunch special]]
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*[[Senorial Day]]
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*[[rock opera]]
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*[[Happy Fireworks]] (Not So Cold, Coldson Lite)
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*[[Happy Fireworks]]
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*[[Commandos in the Classroom]] (mentioned)
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*[[theme song]]
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*[[Strong Bad is a Bad Guy]]
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*[[unnatural]] (Easter egg)
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*[[strongbad_email.exe]] (mentioned)
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*[[Ever and More!]]
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*[[strongbad_email.exe Disc Three]] (mentioned)
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|}
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*Email [[portrait]] (Cold One Ice)
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*Email [[pop-up]]
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*[[Summer Short Shorts]] ('Old One)
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*Email [[theme song]] (Coldson Lite)
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*Email [[coloring]] (implied)
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*Email [[unnatural]] (Cold One and Coldson Lite) (Easter egg)
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*[[Homestar Runner and Strong Bad Screensaver]]
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*[[Date Nite]] ('Old One)
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*[[Ever and More!]] (Coldson Lite and Cold Ones Light)
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*Email [[business trip]] (Expen$e Account Ones)
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*Email [[buried]] (Cold Ones Dry bottle cap)
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</autocolumn>
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</table>
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== See Also ==
== See Also ==

Revision as of 03:01, 26 March 2008

The Cold One motto

Cold One is the most popular brand of beer in Free Country, USA. They are shipped in brown, nondescript bottles. The Cold One motto is "A One that isn't cold, is scarcely a One at all." Although there has been some debate as to whether they are actually alcoholic or not, it is shown in Peasant's Quest that the Kerrek rejects Cold Ones because he is a teetotaler. Also, since the Strong Bad screensaver displays "Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones", and that Room Temp-A-Ture Ones are "brewed in Foreign Lands", the conclusion must be that a Cold One is a refreshing type of beer. In addition, "Room Temp-A-Ture Ones" could possibly be referring to the misconception that the English prefer drinking their beer at near room temperature.

It is revealed in the email "super powers" that Strong Bad can use the diamond-shaped icon on his head to open a Cold One.

The Property of Ones

Main article: Bogus Mathematical Theorems#The Property of Ones

According to Strong Bad, Cold Ones obey the following Property of Ones:

The Oneitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the One.

Or in other words:

The colder it is, the more of a one it is.

Types of Ones

Type Picture About Appearances
Cold Ones
Preferred by Strong Bad.
Cool Ones
not seen
 A nice alternative on spring nights.
Not So Cold Ones
Enjoyed by Coach Z and Bubs.
Room Temp-A-Ture Ones
A foreign brand brewed in Foreign Lands.
Wärm Önes
Foreign brand straight from the oven.
Cold None
not seen
 Not to be wished on anyone
One That Is Not Cold
not seen
 The sender of property of ones almost drank this brand. Scarcely a One at all.
Xtra Cold Ones
A step up from Cold Ones.
Cold One Ice
Thrown at a moose lamp.
'old One
Enjoyed by Pom Pom, Homestar Runner, and Strong Bad.
Strong Beer Premium Alcoholic Cold Ones
From the screensaver.
Cold Ones Light
A light variation of a Cold One. The logo closely resembles the Old Style beer logo (see comparison).
Expen$e Account Ones
Enjoyed while on a business trip.
Cold Ones Dry
A dry variation of a Cold One, official beverage of Taranchula.
Coldson Lite
Image:coldsonlite02.PNG
 A Cold One-style beverage enjoyed by Coach Z and The Cheat. It may be a reference to Molson, a Canadian beer. It looks suspiciously like a can of Coors Light — a strange coincidence as Molson and Coors announced they were merging in 2004.

See Also

Retrieved from "http://hrwiki.org/wiki/Cold_One"
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