Hot Jones
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Hot Jones, a beverage associated with Decemberween, is a steaming white liquid with red sprinkles in it, sold at grocery stores for $5.99 "per each". It may be a coffee or chocolate drink topped with whipped cream, or something akin to eggnog — according to Dangeresque, the secret recipe is kept inside "a security turducken": a twelve-year-old's diary, inside a hotel safe, inside his seventh-grade locker. The makers of Hot Jones have also made two other drinks: Hot Pooey (usually censored and considered "unspeakable") and Strong Mad Oyster Smoothie Breath Caked Armpit Latte (a name illegal to say).
It first appeared in A Death Defying Decemberween, in which Homestar Runner offers a cup to the viewer of his holiday special, and Strong Bad enjoys a cup. The plot of Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack revolves around Hot Jones. Dangeresque gets an invitation to the Cheat Commandos Bring-Your-Own-Hot-Jones Decemberween party. Dangeresque goes to buy some, but it is sold out at both Price Style and Shady's Grocery Mart. After teaming up with Firebert, the two go to the Hot Jones factory to find the secret recipe. There, they encounter Stingy Relenque, the Decemberween-themed bad guy who stole the Hot Jones with a tanker truck. After an action scene, the truck explodes with the Hot Jones inside, which Dangeresque serves anyway, calling it the Santaman's Chimney and explaining its burnt gasoline taste as the addition of Hard Ones and liquid smoke. Reynold does not partake, preferring Warm Jenkins instead.
Financial company "Hot Jones Investment", seen in too cool, has no known relation to the beverage.
In Front Facing, Strong Bad and Homestar are seen with hot beverages that have a "Hot Jones" label on them, but Homestar pours a coffee-colored drink out of his cup.
