Coach Z
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Character: Coach Z |
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Contents |
Biography
Coach Z is the "coach" of Homestar Runner and the gang, though it is unclear just which sports he coaches. He has a strong Upper Midwestern accent which sometimes gets him into trouble. He almost never says anything negative to anyone, and he often offers more encouragement than is needed. When giving advice, he tends to start with the phrase "You can't just rush into the score zone", which by now has pretty much lost its meaning. He wears a baseball cap and is famous for the large Z emblem around his waist, but nobody knows for sure whether his bright green color is his skin or a body suit. However, baby Coach Z seems to be wearing footy pajamas in the email highschool, and on more than one occasion, Coach Z has mentioned his pants.
As Coach Z himself is not afraid to admit, he's got more than two problems. Despite being a coach, he doesn't know what a basketball is, as indicated in secret recipes. It has been implied that he has a crush on Marzipan, and he has on several occasions left inappropriate messages on her answering machine, one occasion where he was drunk, and during the commercial break of the 4Tst annual Fall Float Parade. (Further evidence of his drinking problem is his frequent consumption of mouthwash, as seen in The Best Decemberween Ever and Decemberween Short Shorts, among other appearances.) Additionally, he had to apologize to her in the Fall Float Parade for "inapprapriate" comments. In addition to his frequent mispronunciations, Coach Z also seems to have mental problems, as evidenced by the time he spent "talking to his parents" on a disconnected telephone, and claiming to be a mother in garage sale. He has even stated on one occasion that he sometimes "forgets what's real, and what's just in his head". He also has trouble managing his money, causing his electricity to be shut off each year. He has an apparent fixation with butts, and he seems to have a habit with butt patting. He was told by Homestar Runner in Decemberween Short Shorts to not tell people about his butt. He works with Homestar Runner and Bubs as the apparent local law enforcement in Free Country, USA, and he makes frequent jokes and references about pants, whether his own or someone else's. In recent cartoons it appears that Coach Z is the janitor at the office where Homestar and Strong Bad work.
Coach Z is a fan of hip-hop and rap music, particularly the Wu-Tang Clan. He fancies himself a rapper as well: He released the single "These Peoples Try to Fade Me," which appeared on Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits, and his solo album, entitled "The Z Is All Up Ins", features the smash hit "Hip Hop Dance."
Coach Z and Bubs had a falling out at one point, as Fall Float Parade tells us. But as of the email narrator it seems they're back to having boring conversations outside Bubs' Concession Stand.
Coach Z owns 4 Tony awards but it is unknown if he actually won them.
- Domicile: Coach Z's Locker Room
- Debut: "Where My Hat Is At?"
- Complete Filmography
 Coach Z's emblem |
 Youthful days |
 Hatless |
 His emblem, squished/skewed/turned all around (from redesign) |
Character Video Transcript
{Page Title: Drop Down and Gimme 20!!} {Places: Coach Z's Locker Room}
COACH Z: {looking slightly offscreen} Is that thing on? {turns to the camera lens} Hey there, ho there! I'm the Coach! The Coach Z, I'd guess you'd call me. Or plain old Coach is fine, seein' as I'm the only one around, so, probably no one else would answer to that. You say "Hey Coach!", and I'd say "Yeah?" or..."That's me!" or..."Hoo-hah!" {waves his arms in the air} Any one of those. There's rumors flyin' around that I sleep in one of these lockers {gestures to the lockers behind him}, but uh, that's just not true. I usually crash on this bench here. {gestures to the bench behind him} My back's not in real good condition. {rubs his back} And now, I'd like to perform my hip-hop single, "These peoples try to fade me." {holds up a microphone, begins to sing} A one-two, a one-two—!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {appears in front of camera} I'm Sorry. We're all out of tape.
Coach Z's Accent
The primary factor in his hilarity, Coach Z's Upper Midwestern accent has made him into a very quotable character.
Sounds Affected
The most commonly mispronounced sounds are long e (i.e. The Cheat) and the short o (job), which both come out as an "or" or "aer" ("The Chort", "jaerb").
List of mispronounced words
Inconsistencies
Evidence has suggested that Coach Z's accent may be bogus:
- After saying "track or trort" in 3 Times Halloween Funjob, Bubs gets on his case and he says it correctly. If given "Swedish Fish," said as "Swordish Forsh," Bubs gets on his case again and Coach Z says "It's a crowd-pleaser."
- In boring (really), while Strong Bad is writing his list of three-letter words, Coach Z interrupts him at the word "job", saying that "jorb is a four letters word."
- Coach Z says "The Cheat" immediately after "The Chort" in mascot, though he speaks as though he's talking about two different people.
- In the DVD commentary for part-time job, Mike exploits Coach Z's "accent" by implying that not only does Coach Z add the letter R to words, but now also likes to switch letters around sometimes, and in reply Coach Z partially admits to his accent being bogus.
- Furthermore, Marzipan implies in Fall Float Parade that Coach Z's way of speaking may just be a made-up language all in itself ("That's Pom Pom Balloon, for those of you who don't speak Coach Z").
- In cliffhangers, in the process of his attempted unmasking of The Thnikkaman, he says "secret sorcret" twice, referring to Thnikkaman's secret being revealed and his shame in having really bad hand-eye coordination.
Featured in
Coach Z's "more than two problems"
- He has admitted that he has athlete's foot. This was further implied as "problems with his feet" in rampage.
- In garage sale, he is seen gathering up all the "great for baby" items, but is reluctant to explain why. When Strong Bad comments that "garbage sale" is "for moms only", Coach Z responds "Oh, then I'm okay to say it."
- His accent makes his speech almost incapable of comprehension.
- In his characters page, he admitted that he has a bad back. He also admitted this in rampage.
- He has been drunk multiple times, sometimes even on mouthwash.
- He has really bad hand-eye coordination, as evidenced in cliffhangers.
- He has an obsession with butts.
- He holds the record for the longest time gone without showering.
- He admits he likes a good chafe in theme park.
- He enjoys covering puke in sawdust, as seen in Sbemail 169 Deleted Scene, where he says "This is what I live for!"
- Also, in the commentary for that scene, he claims that "pfargtl" is his favorite animal, and that "Sawdust makes everything delicious".
- He wears a disturbingly small bathing suit when swimming and leaks a black fluid when it is removed, as seen in underlings.
- He Has A weak Imagination
Fun Facts
- Coach Z's accent came from a depressing Midwestern voice that Matt and some friends would do in college.
- It was revealed in issue #21 of Wonkavision magazine that Coach Z is named after Craig Zobel.
- According to trading cards, Coach Z gave 23 butt pats in 1984 (22 to Homestar, 1 to himself).
- Coach Z was originally known as "Coach Zee."
- Strong Bad referred to Coach Z as "Green Bubs" in the email road trip.
- In Date Nite he is shown without his hat and wearing hair curlers, despite a lack of visible hair.
- On Coach Z's emblem, the darker blue shine streak under the gold Z makes a Z formation.
Variations
- The Fort Wayne Locomotive (Old-Timey)
- 20X6 Coach Z (20X6)
- Renaldo (Dangeresque)
- Coach B or Zubs
- Coach Zed
- Damp Towel Man
Halloween Costumes
In each Homestar Runner Halloween special, Coach Z has dressed up as a rapper. (The Noid costume was not released.)
- Flavor Flav in Homestarloween Party.
- Humpty Hump in The House That Gave Sucky Treats.
- Kid in Pumpkin Carve-nival.
- Kool Moe Dee in 3 Times Halloween Funjob.
- Tupac in Halloween Fairstival.
- Theo Huxtable (from The Cosby Show) in Halloween Potion-ma-jig.
- Queen Latifah in Happy Hallow-day.
Quotes of the Week
| Coach Z's Quotes of the Week |
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See Also
External Links
| Main Characters |
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Homestar Runner | Strong Bad | The Cheat | Strong Mad | Strong Sad | Pom Pom | Marzipan | Coach Z | Bubs | The King of Town | The Poopsmith | Homsar |
