Minor Thy Dungeonman Characters

[edit] The Narrator

The Narrator appears in every single Thy Dungeonman. He instructs Thy Dungeonman on his way, describes his surroundings (because there's no precious graphics to help him out, except in Thy Dungeonman 3), points out clues, and adds a sarcastic touch to the whole experience of playing. He always asks what Thy Dungeonman wouldst deau in whatever situation Thy Dungeonman happens to find himself in, though many things Thy Dungeonman tells him do not computeth. Though he only claims to speak Old English (and specifically not Spanish or "Idiot"), he occasionally slips and will speak in Modern-day English. It's likely that he is also the narrator in Peasant's Quest, as many responses in that game have a similar sarcastic tone as the Thy Dungeonman series.

[edit] Dennis

See main article: Dennis

Although described as an "exit", Dennis is actually a person Thy Dungeonman encounters and can converse with.

[edit] Rope

Rope is a deadly enchanted rope that glows a mustard-red and smells like a public privy. Thy Dungeonman has seen better rope. Rope disguises itself as an obtainable item that will wrap itself around Thy Dungeonman's and hang him from parapets if he attempts to "GET ROPE". As it is the only thing that can directly kill Thy Dungeonman, it is likely the danger warned about in a scroll found in the main room of yon dungeon, but as the the scroll disappears with "ye olde ZAP!" before Thy Dungeonman finishes reading it, this is uncertain.

[edit] Painting of David Bowie

A painting of David Bowie appears in Custodial Magistrate Ripberger's office. In it, David Bowie is shaking hands with Magistrate Ripberger. The painting sits alongside pictures of Magistrate Ripberger shaking hands with other famous people, such as King Arthur and King Graham (the main protagonist of Sierra's King's Quest series). The painting shows David Bowie during the Tin Machine era. Thy Dungeonman himself is more of a Ziggy Stardust fan.

[edit] Custodial Magistrate Ripberger

Custodial Magistrate Ripberger is the head of thy Dungeon and Thy Dungeonman's boss. His office is southwest of Thy Dungeonman's cell. It features many impressive pictures of him with famous people (see above), as well as a conspicuous locked drawer containing a map, which can only be opened by a key located inside a chamberpot. After leaving the office with the map, Thy Dungeonman runs into Ripberger, who suspiciously asks what he is doing. He is able to talk his way out of the situation by muttering, "Gumble-duh. Dumble?". Thy Dungeonman has snooped around Magistrate Ripberger's office before, and will quickly be fired by Ripberger if he wastes too much time and is caught in the office.

He shares a name with Ripberger of the Cheat Commandos; presumably, both are named for the Ripberger family that lived near the Brothers Chaps (as mentioned in the Cheat Commandos DVD commentary).

[edit] Percy

Percy is a rat in the employ of the crown. His job is to give the Bubonic plague to any who pass North of him into the maze. He is considered sizeable, but is just smaller than a chamberpot. He wears a nametag, and will only stare at Thy Dungeonman blankly if not called by his name. He thinks Thy Dungeonman's loin-cheese cloth is nice, which is rather creepy. If Thy Dungeonman passes North of Percy, Percy will bite him and say "This might kill ye a little", thus infecting Thy Dungeonman with Bubonic Plague. He then slams and locks the door behind Thy Dungeonman.

There is a charcoal painting of Percy later in the game, which the Dongrel is allergic to. After Thy Dungeonman kills the Dongrel, Percy returns, angry at Thy Dungeonman for stealing his "this might kill ye a little" line, which he claims is his stale bread and curdled butter and what everyone knows him for. However, Percy dies when he leaps into scalding waters after Thy Dungeonman's (delicious to him) loin-cheese cloth.

[edit] Longrels, Hongrels, and Mongrels

See main article: Longrels, Hongrels, and Mongrels

Longrels, Hongrels, and Mongrels are monsters that occupy the maze.

[edit] Sous-Chef

See also Dongrel

The Sous-Chef is merely a disguise of the Dongrel. In this disguise, the Dongrel tends to and sloppily mashes up root vegetables. He repeatedly spits and scratches his dandruff into the vegetables. They also have long grody hairs in them. Thy Dungeonman makes a note to himself to never order the root vegetables.

[edit] Saw Doctor

The Saw Doctor resides in the infirmary. He is very busy, but will treat patients who cannot wait. Patients who choose to wait will die waiting and listening to last year's minstrel hits from such bands as Sir Lance and the Lots. After treating patients by sawing off their plague and mashing a ball of leeches onto the wounds, he gives them a sucker that causes severe explosion of the head if eaten by Dongrels or children under 2. A sign in the infirmary reads "Ask thy doctor about CRAFTSMAN TOOLS". If asked, the doctor replies "Nothin takes a rotten leg off like Craftsman!" accompanied by a little jingle.

[edit] Healer and the Sitar-playing Satyr

The Healer, or "Homeopathic Pathologist", is an inquisitive woman who will kill Thy Dungeonman of endless questioning if he talks to her. Examples of her questions are "Is love in thy heart?", "Are you finding satisfaction at work?", "Any unwanted stress in your life?", "Getting enough iron?", "Do you find yourself quaffing mead alone and often?", and "Aggle phibble stroo?". She constantly rubs oil and powder onto a statue for an unknown reason, eats flowers, and smells either like fruity dirt or dirty fruit.

The Healer is accompanied by a sitar-playing satyr.

[edit] Sir Lance and the Lots

Sir Lance and the Lots is a minstrel band. They, apparently, broke up and then reformed, the latter of which Thy Dungeonman disapproves of. Their music plays in the Saw Doctor's waiting room. Their name is a play on "Sir Lancelot", one of the Knights of the Round Table.

[edit] Dongrel

See main article: Dongrel

In Thy Dungeonman II, it turns out that the Sous-Chef is really just a Dongrel in disguise.

In Thy Dungeonman 3, a dead Dongrel (pictured) appears in the first dungeon Thy Dungeonman finds himself in.

[edit] The King and Maiden Ogletree

The King congratualtes Thy Dungeonman for his varied accomplishments throughout Thy Dungeonman II, including escaping the restrictive restraints of the royal sewer and his clothes. He judges Thy Dungeonman worthy of taking his daughter, the fair Maiden Ogletree, to the Enchantment under the Parapets dance.

The fair Maiden Ogletree is the King's daughter. She goes out with Thy Dungeonman to the Enchantment under the Parapets dance. It is not known whether she actually wants to or not, but it is certain she would never allow Thy Dungeonman to court her if he were to lose his job as a custodial knight.

[edit] Annoying Whiner Bird

The Annoying Whiner Bird is, appropriately, an annoying, ugly bird that resides just south of the Monastery. It sits upon a rock morbling and ganching (Thy Dungeonman can take the morbling, but it's the ganching that really cheeses him off). Thy Dungeonman cannot communicate with the bird, as his morbling is rusty and he hasn't ganched since he was but a pimple-faced dungeonteen. Thy Dungeonman can't stand the constant annoying noise created by the bird, but if he tries to kill the bird then the bird will peck his eyes out and kill him.

Later in the game Thy Dungeonman befriends the bird by giving it corn. The bird immediately stops its whining, hops into Thy Dungeonman's hand and nibbles corn out of his ear (it is not explained why Thy Dungeonman puts corn in his ear). The bird helps Thy Dungeonman defeat the troll, who too hates the bird's ganching. The bird's help is similar to the bird from Colossal Cave Adventure, who, after being fed, would later help the player fend off a large snake.

[edit] Fat, Fat Friar

The Fat, Fat Friar (a.k.a. Lord Round Mound, ol' Fatmonk McMunchalot or simply "a Monk") is a massively obese robed monk. He lives in the "Fatmonk Monastery" and is first seen eating a glazed ham at a small table (suspected to double as both his bed and chamberpot) beside a large cauldron within the monastery. Thy Dungeonman initially believes him to be a nice man, which is false; if Thy Dungeonman takes the Friar's stein, the Monk will club Thy Dungeonman's head with a "mutton chop" and then try to cook and eat him, leading Thy Dungeonman to realize that he is actually a total jerk. This is not because Thy Dungeonman took the stein, but rather because, according to the Friar, "Foodstuffs art scarce these days", though his eating an entire glazed ham prior to this contradicts this claim. Thy Dungeonman is able to escape simply by going south, but if he is foolish enough to return to the monastery after escaping, the Fat, Fat Friar will club him unconcious again, leading to him assuredly being eaten.

[edit] Log

The log occupies the thickly thuckled woods. It is hollowed out "like in a kid's story or something". Within it is a bag of coins. Thy Dungeonman cannot pick it up and trying to do so only brings him painful memories of finishing last in the Worlds Strongest Dungeonman contest. The log somehow follows Thy Dungeonman as he becomes more and more lost in the wood, and even becomes "freaked out" when Thy Dungeonman goes too far into the woods.

In the initial release of Thy Dungeonman 3, Thy Dungeonman could enter the log in order to quickly enter the dungeon containing Ye Flask, though this aspect of the log was removed in later versions.

[edit] Vegetable Cart Man

The Vegetable Cart Man ("veggie cart dude" or "VCD" for short) sells "vegetable cart vegetables", corn, at his vegetable cart on the overlook that overlooks the village of Westerburg. He looks like the type of dude who would follow around traveling minstrels, sleep in his cart, and sell rotten vegetables to teenagers for gas kerosene money. He has seen the dungeon Thy Dungeonman was in during the beginning of the game and refers to it as an "intense, crush-ye-with-spikes" type of dungeon. He exchanges his (dried) corn for bags of organic, cruelty-free coins, which is called "commerce at work". After selling corn to Thy Dungeonman he remarks one of several phrases, such as "Magick happens" or "Kill your scrolls".

[edit] Pub Barkeep

Pub Barkeep runs an unpopular pub in Westerburg that is almost always empty save for himself. He looks like a "goode" enough barkeep, though he is not a very goode customerkeep. His pub is unpopular because all of his old customers stole all of his steins and left to drink at the Northern Tavern. Nowadays steins are so scarce for him that anyone with their own gets a free drink. He serves a disgusting-looking liquid which is almost certainly Mongrel pee. When asked if he's seen any good dungeons lately he will look around the pub shiftily (although the pub is empty) and mentions that Thy Dungeonman (whom he calls "love", seriously freaking Thy Dungeonman out) should talk to a man named Kigalonian who resides in the Tavern. If Thy Dungeonman tries to steal his beard, drinks, or kill him, he will be met by Pub Barkeep's more successful attempts at killing him with a rusty hook.

His pub features 3 shelves, 6 empty bottles on the top shelf (that apparently have not yet been collected by the Recyckling Mage), 7 items that look like tea cups on the second shelf, 3 other items on the lowest shelf, and a large keg marked "XXX". Thy Dungeonman hopes that it is full of Mead Ice, but Pub Barkeep refuses to carry "that pig swill" in his pub, assuring that he serves "Nu'n but badger swill fer [his] customers."

[edit] The Recyckling Mage

The Recyckling Mage is the recycle collector for (at least) the town of Westerburg who may or may not actually exist. If he does exist, then he hadn't been by the Barkeep's pub yet the week Thy Dungeonman visited (if ever) to collect the Barkeep's empty bottles (pictured). He is only mentioned and is never actually seen and cannot be interacted with.

[edit] The Toughs

The Toughs are an unsavory-looking lot of fellows who hang out in the Non-pub Tavern. While the Toughs cannot all be talked to at once, listening in on their conversation reveals they talk about dubloons, pantaloons, and balloons, among other things. Kigalonian is the name of all or at least almost all of the Toughs, and the specific Kigalonian Thy Dungeonman wants to speak to must be picked out of 6 different Toughs based upon the description given to Thy Dungeonman by the Barkeep. If Thy Dungeonman speaks to the wrong "gruff tough" then the Tough will proceed to kill him.

Among the Toughs is a swashbuckler (not a pirate) who would likely severely buckle Thy Dungeonman's swash if bothered.

[edit] Kigalonian

Kigalonian (Kiga for short) is a popular name in Westerburg, specifically at the Tavern. He is one of the Toughs, along with at least 5 other Toughs named Kigalonian. Each Tough has a combination of two of the features pictured at left. He can be identified based on the description given to Thy Dungeonman by Pub Barkeep. If the correct Kigalonian is identified, he will advise Thy Dungeonman to find the old hag in the thickly thuckled woods in order to find the dungeon containing Ye Flask, giving him a map he had previously used to clean his chamberpot in order to traverse them.

[edit] Disgruntled Cleaning Guy

The Disgruntled Cleaning Guy (a.k.a. Disgruntor the Cleaninator) works at Ye Olde Sandwich Shoppe, Westerburg's local poultry sandwich shoppe. Although he is the Disgruntled Cleaning Guy, he is not cleaning when Thy Dungeonman comes by (though he is, indeed, not gruntled). The shoppe he works at is closed on "Todays" (apparently a day of the week in Thy Dungeonman's world), but he promises to serve customers if they know exactly what they want. The Disgruntled Cleaning Guy does not make good on his promise; he can't give a sandwich and says he can only give condiments, but even then he will not give turkey leg grease, one of the two condiments, and will only give blood/fake ketchup.

[edit] PERSON

PERSON is someone who does not occupy the empty street that is east of Ye Olde Sandwich Shoppe. Empty Street is a black-as-pitch street that does not continue EAST where there are no FLYERS on the GROUND, nor anything else for that matter. PERSON cannot be talked to, because he is not there. The narrator later corrects itself and admits that technically, Thy Dungeonman is there, so there is indeed a PERSON there.

[edit] Hag

Hag is an ancient, bearded widow who spends her days sitting on a stump ferngullying, landbeforetiming, and mumbling about a dungeon to herself beside a large open scrapbook entitled "Cramforth and Hag Memories". She is at least 114 and smells of rat liqueur. She once had a husband named Cramforth who died of a bloody head. Thy Dungeonman can masquerade as her husband (whom she believes is now in a "hotter, spectral form") by pouring blood/fake ketchup on his head and answering several personal questions she asks, the answers to which are in her scrapbook. Once he does so, she will give him a flask-getting glove, which Cramforth forgot to wear when trying to destroy the rogue dungeon.

[edit] Cramforth

Cramforth was Hag's husband before he died of a bloody head on his way to vanquish the "rogue dungeon". Little is known about him other than what is in the scrapbook and what is said of him by Hag. He and Hag once went on a Honeymoon together once in either Wensleydire, Rottenscab, Blood Area, or Zork. The present he gave Hag for her 114th birthday is either a toad, an eyeball, an N64 paddle, or a commemorative mug. He and Hag also had anywhere from 1-4 wee hags. Thy Dungeonman is able to disguise himself as Cramforth by applying "fake ketchup" to his head to look like blood and answering questions based on the above information.

[edit] Wee Hags

The wee hags are the offspring of Hag and Cramforth. Their numbers range from anywhere between one and four. They are only seen in picture form in Hag's scrapbook and it is unknown where they are in the present day.

[edit] Troll

The Troll is a hideous, snarling beast that will pummel and "kracka" the skull anyone who tries to pass South of him to the Stone Bridge. He hates any kind of ganching, whether from Thy Dungeonman or the bird, and is apparently a "ganchaphobe". The bird can easily defeat the Troll, proceeding to peck and ganch at him until he screams "AGH! My style!" and falls into the stream, drowning instantly. He wears a hideous wig.