Talkin' Strong Bad Plush Doll Recording Sesh

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"I'm Strong Bad from Strong Bad dot gov!"

Strong Bad records lines for his talking plush doll. Accessed by entering the correct password (or the wrong password one hundred times) on strongbadallthetimesogreat.com.

Cast (in order of appearance): Puppet Strong Bad, Puppet Homestar, Puppet The Cheat

Places: Recording booth

Date: Sunday, November 29, 2020

Running Time: 4:19

[edit] Transcript

{Open to Puppet Strong Bad in a recording booth with a microphone. There are two water bottles in the background.}

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} All right, from the top. "I'm Strong Bad from Homestar Runner dot com."

STRONG BAD: I'm Strong Bad from Strong Bad dot gov!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} That's not the URL, you're not a federal agency.

STRONG BAD: What?

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: I'm Strong Bad from Strong Bad Logistics Incorporated and Buffet!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: I'm Strong Bad from the depths of the ancient Internet!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: I'm Strong Bad from Homestrong Badder dot... run.

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: I'm Greaty from Strong Greaty Great Great!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Homestar Runner dot com.

STRONG BAD: I'm Strong Bad from Strong Bad all the time so great dot com.

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Again.

STRONG BAD: {hesitantly} I'm Strong Bad from Homest...er... {trembles with frustration}

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Homestar Runner dot com.

STRONG BAD: I don't wanna say it!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Why not?

STRONG BAD: I don't want his name to come out of my plush doll!

{Beep cut to next shot. Puppet Homestar has taken Strong Bad's place.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gruff voice} Wagh, I'm Strong Bad.

{Beep cut to next shot.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gruff voice} Agh, holy crap. I can draw a draw-gon man. Draw-ga-dor.

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} That's— that's pretty good. Uh, we've got that in case he doesn't show up.

{Beep cut to next shot. Strong Bad has returned to take Homestar's place.}

STRONG BAD: If you squeeze me a million times, I barf!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Uh, we had to cut that functionality. Too expensive.

STRONG BAD: What? That was the best part!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} How 'bout a nice "TROGDOOOR"?

STRONG BAD: Naw, that's too played out. How 'bout I improv somethin' new and fresh? Like... {rapping} Strong Bad plush doll all the time, {a beat begins} squeeze him on his head and he'll give you a rhyme. Take him to the airport, one two three. Security check, for you and for me. It's gonna get great when you get on the plane, why am I talkin' about travellin' so much?

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: So what are we doin' next?

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} How 'bout something from one of your classic emails?

STRONG BAD: Ooh, like tape-leg!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Uh, maybe more classic than tape-leg?

STRONG BAD: No way, that's numba one, top ten!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Is it number one or is it top ten?

STRONG BAD: You shut up! {lifts up his foot, which has tape wrapped around it} Tape-leeeg!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: You're my best friend. You know, after The Cheat, Strong Mad, and... pretty much everybody else in the world.

{Beep cut to next shot. Once again, Homestar is there instead of Strong Bad.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey kids, I'm Talkin' Homestar! Spin my buzzer to activate the jetpack, and squeeze my foot to launch the homing missiles! {pause} Man! This is gonna be like, the coolest toy ever!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Yeah, we're— we're a little over budget, so why don't you stick with things like, "I wuv you" and "you'we my best fwend"?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um... okay, but that doesn't sound anything like me. I don't say {slow, deeper voice} "I wuv you." {normal voice} I say, "I wuv you!" I don't say {slow, deeper voice} "You'we my best fwiend." {normal voice} I say, "You'we my best fwiend!"

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Oh, yeah, that's great. Whatev— whatever you say.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That is... whatever I say. That is what I said. Whatever I said was that, and I said it.

{Beep cut to next shot. Homestar has been replaced with Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Reg had the ball at the top of the key.

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} We're not doin' the autobiography, stick to the plush doll.

STRONG BAD: Oh, sorry. I forgot which recording session we were in... or, recording sesh. You guys use seshes or sessions?

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Um, I'm done talking to you.

{Beep cut to next shot. Music plays as Strong Bad shakes his tape-leg around for a few seconds. The music stops as he faces the camera.}

STRONG BAD: Tape-leg? Anybody?

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: The "R" in routine stands for...

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: {holding a crinkling water bottle} Hey kids, I'm Talkin' Strong Bad.

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Uh, you're crinklin'.

STRONG BAD: No, n—not me. I definitely don't crinkle.

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Uh, I think it's your water bottle.

STRONG BAD: {looks at his water bottle} Oh, sorry. Hey kids, I'm Talkin' Strong Bad.

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Uh, it's still crinkling.

STRONG BAD: Well, let's just work that into the re-cord. It could be like I'm crushing the bones of my enemies!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: My boat take—

{Beep cut to next shot. The Cheat has taken Strong Bad's place.}

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Okay, whenever you're ready.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{The Cheat clears his throat.}

THE CHEAT: {Powered by The Cheat Strong Bad's voice} I can do it! I will do it nine times.

{Beep cut to next shot. Strong Bad is recording.}

STRONG BAD: Holy crap!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Again.

STRONG BAD: Ho-lee crap!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Try again.

STRONG BAD: Hooo-leh crap!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} Uh, something different.

STRONG BAD: {dejected} Holy craaaap. {with exaggerated pronunciation} Ho-lay craw-awp!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: Holay crapolay!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: Holistic crap!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: Crap-toh... hole-craw. Now you got me thinkin' about it too hard!

{Beep cut to next shot.}

STRONG BAD: {struggling; with a strained voice} Holayyy craaa... {grunt}

{Cut to another shot. The Strong Bad plush doll is in the booth with Puppet Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {tapping the plush doll's diamond on each "boop"} Boop. Boop. {frustratedly} Boopboopboop! This thing doesn't work!

DIRECTOR: {voiceover} You're supposed to be recording the lines for it right now!

STRONG BAD: Oh ho ho, sorry about that. Forgot. {knocks the plush doll over} Boop.

{Cut to black.}

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