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209 Seconds (Rough Estimate)

(The entirety of 160 Seconds, but with "160" in the intro replaced with "209")

4 branches: HOMESTAR: Chinese b-

the chair: STRONG BAD: Class!

what i want: MARZIPAN: Forgettably precious.

looking old: MARZIPAN: Up to your chin right

strong badathlon: STRONG BAD: To the wrong athletes

unnatural: STRONG BAD: Kill him? STRONG SAD: We do-

the movies: HOMESTAR: -tuce. Throw

your funeral: HOMESTAR: Abraham Lincoln

from work: HOMESTAR: -veges. It helps

rough copy: STRONG SAD: -tellectual property.

underlings: STRONG BAD: Get Mrs. Hard-

more armies: HOMESTAR: Saaay

the paper: STRONG BAD: Doesn't quite

mini-golf: STRONG BAD: In this infernal pl-

concert: STRONG BAD: Nope. They're a

hygiene: STRONG BAD: No matter what he does.

original: BUBS: B'zuh!

bike thief: STRONG BAD: Side of this couch

pizza joint: MAN IN PIZZA COSTUME: It burns!

slumber party: STRONG BAD: Can you guys start

web comics: TAKE DAGGER: Hiya

business trip: THE KING OF TOWN: Units? STRONG BAD: What

yes wrestling: HOMESTAR: The power... of

diorama: STRONG BAD: -lupe Hidalgo

nightlife: HOMESTAR RUNNER: More...more

environment: STRONG BAD: -pliant sticker!

winter pool: HOMESTAR: You're such a good

fan club: STRONG BAD: (screams)

pet show: HOMESTAR: Potion. A taste

licensed: (Strong Bad slides) STRONG BAD: What's

buried: BUBS: Is! STRONG SAD: Uh

shapeshifter: COACH Z: Coming to your concession

rated: BUBS: Bake sale!

specially marked: (The Deleted buzzer, and a message reading "SBEMAIL 194 IS NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE IT DOES NOT HAVE A 194th SECOND")

love poems: HOMESTAR: Apples!

hiding: STRONG BAD: Coma!

your edge: STRONG BAD: Where'd you check?

magic trick: STRONG BAD: But now, not only does

being mean: HUNGRY SHARK: Makes me wanna

email thunder: (Strong Bad runs out of Homestar's computer room)

hremail3184: COACH Z: Bad! I was gonna

imaginary: LIL' STRONG BAD: -ti! I'd like you to meet

independent: STRONG BAD: Solid gold sc-

dictionary: STRONG BAD: To Z

videography: STRONG BAD: (chuckles)

sbemail206: ANNOUNCER: For all your consummate

too cool: STRONG BAD: Mysteriously with no return

The Next April Fools Thing: STRONG BAD: -low lives, and this

parenting: THE KING OF TOWN: I've got this seven-

Alternate HRWiki

The King of Town

As a character and as an individual, the King of Town is a relic from another era. Rather than letting this become a detriment to the character, his obsolescence has been used as a marvellous source of comedy, which is infinitely funnier than the King himself is by design.

The King's design conjures memories of fairy tales of old (particularly Tenniel's illustrations in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland), as well as the kings from playing cards. He is a facile Santa Claus figure, with a round head and an even rounder body. He has no discernible arms or legs, and his entire body is shrouded in frumpy red robes with white trim. His head is white, and his face is adorned simply with perpetually squinting eyes, a thick white moustache, and a series of scroll-shaped curls forming a beard. An undersized crown is perched on his bald scalp. His voice is that of a precocious child grown old, full of odd ditherings and silly mutterings.

Food is the King's raison d'être. His entire life seems to consist of finding sustenance, eating it, and ensuring that more food will continue to be available. Such is his privileged upbringing that he eats any edibles he comes across without hesitation, whether or not said edibles are even rightfully his. Perhaps this is his interpretation of the Divine Right of Kings. At the core of everything the King does is an innate selfishness. This excessive self-indulgence, however, is not the cruel, bitter greed of adulthood, but the unquestioning self-service of a child who simply does not know better. Things such as sharing and sacrifice are alien to the King simply because he, in his decadent lifestyle, has never had to consider them. This is precisely why the King's personality, which would be unbearably repellent in person, does not offend the audience. The King clearly enjoys the privileges of royalty far more than the responsibilities; when anything disrupts his peaceful existence, he panics and must rely on others to aid him. Indeed, aside from his dress he hardly makes any effort to act in a manner that could be considered regal. For all his flaws, the King is a rather likeable fellow, and this amicability is only strengthened when it becomes obvious that the King's life is not as altogether pleasant as it appears.

When the King made his debut, the world in which Homestar and his friends lived was undefined, and it was therefore not an issue that Homestar and Pom Pom could be summoned to a 16th century-era castle to solve a mystery for a King and his retinue of servants. Shortly thereafter, however, it was irrevocably established that Free Country was somewhat suburban and definitely modern. Rather than writing the King and his world off as apocryphal, however, the Chapman brothers decided to transport the King, medieval mindset and all, into this world. The formerly unfunny King has now become a source of great humour as he struggles to maintain his regal dignity in a world that sees him as little more than a gluttonous old man. None of the other characters consider the King to have any semblance of rule over them in any way, aside from the King's previously established servants. The King is routinely belittled, ignored, and disregarded. And while he attempts to remain cheerily oblivious to his impotence, there are moments where the King quietly laments the fact that nobody seems to take him seriously, or even likes him that much. Even the friendlier characters like Homestar seem to have a blind spot when it comes to the King's feelings. This definitely provokes sympathy for a character that would otherwise be reviled, and rightfully so.

An interesting piece of trivia is that early documents named the King as Marzipan's father, obviously in an effort to forge a link between the King and Homestar's more contemporary companions. This gambit apparently didn't have the impact it was intended to have and was discarded, as Marzipan has never acknowledged the King as her father and vice versa. Without any true friends among the gang, the King's obtrusive impact on the proceedings is only made funnier, and a vintage character has been preserved, rather than claimed by obscurity.