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209 Seconds (Rough Estimate)

(The entirety of 160 Seconds, but with "160" in the intro replaced with "209")

4 branches: HOMESTAR: Chinese b-

the chair: STRONG BAD: Class!

what i want: MARZIPAN: Forgettably precious.

looking old: MARZIPAN: Up to your chin right

strong badathlon: STRONG BAD: To the wrong athletes

unnatural: STRONG BAD: Kill him? STRONG SAD: We do-

the movies: HOMESTAR: -tuce. Throw

your funeral: HOMESTAR: Abraham Lincoln

from work: HOMESTAR: -veges. It helps

rough copy: STRONG SAD: -tellectual property.

underlings: STRONG BAD: Get Mrs. Hard-

more armies: HOMESTAR: Saaay

the paper: STRONG BAD: Doesn't quite

mini-golf: STRONG BAD: In this infernal pl-

concert: STRONG BAD: Nope. They're a

hygiene: STRONG BAD: No matter what he does.

original: BUBS: B'zuh!

bike thief: STRONG BAD: Side of this couch

pizza joint: MAN IN PIZZA COSTUME: It burns!

slumber party: STRONG BAD: Can you guys start

web comics: TAKE DAGGER: Hiya

business trip: THE KING OF TOWN: Units? STRONG BAD: What

yes wrestling: HOMESTAR: The power... of

diorama: STRONG BAD: -lupe Hidalgo

nightlife: HOMESTAR RUNNER: More...more

environment: STRONG BAD: -pliant sticker!

winter pool: HOMESTAR: You're such a good

fan club: STRONG BAD: (screams)

pet show: HOMESTAR: Potion. A taste

licensed: (Strong Bad slides) STRONG BAD: What's

buried: BUBS: Is! STRONG SAD: Uh

shapeshifter: COACH Z: Coming to your concession

rated: BUBS: Bake sale!

specially marked: (The Deleted buzzer, and a message reading "SBEMAIL 194 IS NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE IT DOES NOT HAVE A 194th SECOND")

love poems: HOMESTAR: Apples!

hiding: STRONG BAD: Coma!

your edge: STRONG BAD: Where'd you check?

magic trick: STRONG BAD: But now, not only does

being mean: HUNGRY SHARK: Makes me wanna

email thunder: (Strong Bad runs out of Homestar's computer room)

hremail3184: COACH Z: Bad! I was gonna

imaginary: LIL' STRONG BAD: -ti! I'd like you to meet

independent: STRONG BAD: Solid gold sc-

dictionary: STRONG BAD: To Z

videography: STRONG BAD: (chuckles)

sbemail206: ANNOUNCER: For all your consummate

too cool: STRONG BAD: Mysteriously with no return

The Next April Fools Thing: STRONG BAD: -low lives, and this

parenting: THE KING OF TOWN: I've got this seven-

Alternate HRWiki

Unknown Characters

As noted elsewhere, the major events of Free Country are generally confined to the twelve main characters, with additional minor characters appearing only briefly and infrequently. However, the formative years of Homestar Runner produced, as with most such endeavours, a small group of characters who never "caught on" like the rest and were reduced to items of obscure trivia, subject to much speculation by the fans. This section does not include characters abandoned in Homestar's pre-Flash days (such as the Grape Fairie and her bumblebee escort), characters who never got off the drawing board (such as Digory Doo, The Cheat's doppelganger) or characters who were obviously designed as one-off jokes (such as Strong Bad's alleged rival The Deke). Instead, this section is devoted to characters who were obviously designed to have an impact on the main gang but were unable for one reason or another, and therefore were never formally introduced and developed.

Without question, the most well-known of these aborted characters is Homeschool Winner, who received his name from a prototypical characters page and made his only "official" appearance in the background of the "Dancin' Bubs" game. Visually, Homeschool is highly reminiscent of Homestar Runner himself, but with a few differences. Most notable is the fact that Homeschool's upper lip protrudes, rather than his lower jaw. Other differences are trivial; he is somewhat skinnier, does not wear a hat, and his shirt is blue with a speech balloon imprinted on it. Other than this, however, Homeschool resembles Homestar in virtually every other way. While we have never seen any indication of Homeschool's personality (and likely never will), his striking similarities to Homestar, as well as his name "Winner", seem to indicate in him a potential rival for Homestar, especially in his "terrific athlete" days. However, this is merely speculation, and moot speculation at that, for Homeschool will in all likelihood never appear again, regardless of his purposes.

Of minor note is another character seen behind Homeschool in the "Dancin' Bubs" game. She (one assumes it is a she) is a rectangular entity with pigtails, a medallion around her neck, and a facial expression utterly devoid of any coherence at all. Who this character was intended to be remains a mystery.

The same "cards" page where Homeschool Winner was introduced is also the site of the sole appearance of the Unguraits. These creatures are small, squat and consist mostly of round heads and shapeless bodies with stubby feet, but nonetheless have an element of the sinister about them. Their forms are mostly shrouded by loose green robes, and their faces are wrapped in bandages, leaving only their gleaming red eyes visible. While only four Unguraits are pictured on the cards, it is possible that more of them exist.

In a short story about Pom Pom (which was later made into a quick animated short), brief glimpses were afforded of Pom Pom's friends on the Isle of Pom, including his parents (who unsurprisingly look exactly like him, albeit with different colour schemes). However, the most interesting aspect of this piece is the revelation that Pom Pom owns a dog named Trivia Time. Trivia Time failed to appear in the short, even during the section mentioning him, because, according to Matt Chapman, a satisfactory character model could not be designed. As it stands, all we see is Pom Pom filling the dog's dish. What makes this character truly interesting, however, is the fact that later cartoons have featured a cookie jar in the background in the shape of a blue dog. Some fans believe that this cookie jar is none other than Trivia Time himself, or at least that it was designed to resemble him. No confirmation has been received either way.

Finally, this section would not be complete without mentioning Mr. Bland and Señor. These two have definitely logged the most appearances out of all the characters in this section. Their careers range from their debut in "The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Competition" to a brief cameo in "Marshmallow's Last Stand", and finally something of a renaissance with the flashback sequence of Strong Bad's 100th e-mail and the articles pertaining to it. Despite this, they have never been given personalities or dialogue; their place seems to be in the background. The only time they had substantial roles (but only just) was during their first appearance, in which they participated in the Strongest Man in the World Competition, alongside Homestar, Pom Pom, Strong Bad and the Robot. Both were eliminated quickly, buried under a mountain of grapes when their strength failed; Strong Bad did not even need to sabotage their efforts! Since that, Señor and Mr. Bland have permanently stuck to the sidelines. Character-wise, there is little to distinguish the two, but they at least sport very different physical appearances. Mr. Bland could almost be considered a prototypical Strong Sad; the two are very similar, although Mr. Bland has a broader face and a slimmer body and lacks elephant appendages. Mr. Bland is a glum little fellow, clad in a baggy T-shirt and shorts and always with a perpetual look of indifference on his face. Señor, by contrast, is a dome-shaped blue lump, supplemented with spaghetti-thin arms, squat legs, and a bewildered expression on his simplistic face. The fact that the pair has re-appeared after years of obscurity may instill hopes for a full-scale revival, but this is unlikely. The fact that they only appeared in flashbacks to earlier times make the message clear; they belong in the past, and in the past is where they will stay.