Teen Girl Squad Issue 13

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'''THE POLICE:''' ''{from behind the door}'' Open up! It's the police!
'''THE POLICE:''' ''{from behind the door}'' Open up! It's the police!
''{Cut to a terrifed So and So jumping in the air, dropping the diaper}''
''{Cut to a terrified So and So jumping in the air, dropping the diaper}''
'''SO AND SO:''' AHH! THE POPO! I can't do another nickel!
'''SO AND SO:''' AHH! THE POPO! I can't do another nickel!
Line 183: Line 183:
'''POLICEMAN 1:''' Uh, yes, ma'am. We got a report of us wanting to watch the Ola Toya fight. You mind if we investigate?
'''POLICEMAN 1:''' Uh, yes, ma'am. We got a report of us wanting to watch the Ola Toya fight. You mind if we investigate?
'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{holding up a packet labelled "Snack Mix"}'' I brought snack mix.
'''POLICEMAN 2:''' ''{holding up a packet labeled "Snack Mix"}'' I brought snack mix.
''{Cut to a "confidential" envelope out of which three game cards are removed.}''
''{Cut to a "confidential" envelope out of which three game cards are removed.}''

Revision as of 02:53, 19 June 2007

Teen Girl Squad Issue #13
watch Issue 12 Issue 1
"Don't let Timkins play my PSone!"

So And So is baby-sitting, but her friends interrupt.

Cast (in order of appearance): Tompkins, Momkins, Baby Timkins, So and So, Baby-Sat guy, Cheerleader, What's Her Face, The Ugly One, Plumber, Peacey P, Olympic Man, Policemen

Places: Tompkins's house, Hotel Balcony

Date: Monday, June 18th, 2007

Running Time: 3:25

Page Title: Bebe's Sitter's Kids!



{The toon opens with Tompkins playing his Game Boy with a silhouette of his mother waving to him. The Teen Girl Squad theme music plays.}

TOMPKINS: Aww, peas Momkins. I don't need a babysitter.

{Zoom out to reveal Momkins, a robot wearing cowboy boots and a hat and carrying a pickaxe, along with a baby.}

TOMPKINS: I can watch baby Timkins while you go out prospecting for future ex-husbands.

MOMKINS: Whatevs little man. You can't even take care of your own virtual pet.

{Cut to a closeup of the Game Boy screen, displaying a bloated pet and the text, "Food: 600%". Music stops}

VIRTUAL PET: Please stop feeding me!

{Music continues. Tompkins begins mashing the buttons on the Game Boy.}

TOMPKINS: Teh heh heh heh heh.

{Cut to Momkins standing next to the front door, which has a large, wrinkly face on it}

FRONT DOOR: Ding dong. Ding dong, yo.

{The door opens to reveal So and So, with fangs.}

SO AND SO: Hello Mrs. Tompkinsrobotmomerson. I know I'm 3 hours early, but I wanted to...

MOMKINS: Listen, I'll be at a place until a time. My cell phone number is some numbers. The baby needs stuff. What's poison control? Punch Tompkins in the gut. Good luck.

{Momkins rushes out the door with a crazed look on her face and her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Her hat flies off and So and So's hair is disheveled as she leaves.}


{Cut to So and So speaking to Tompkins, who is playing his Game Boy next to a clock. The clock reads 5:03}

SO AND SO: {pointing to her watch} Alright Tompkins, it is WAY past your bedtime.

TOMPKINS: {pointing at a flustered So and So} Listen babysit, I don't need to be babysat. I'll be in my room reorganizing my trenchcoats.

{As Tompkins leaves, a giant baby resembling the Arrow'd Guy lands on and crushes him. The music stops.}


TOMPKINS: Don't let Timkins play my PSone!!!!!

{Cut to a Teen Girl Squad title screen, featuring Cheerleader (wearing a dress labeled "Ms. Thang"), The Ugly One, and What's Her Face smashing through a wall. "issue 13" and "by: strong bad" appear in the corners. The theme music plays.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Teen Girl Squad!!! Cheerleader! {$15/hour} What's Her Face! {$4.75/hour} The Ugly One! {plain yogurt/hour}

{Cut to So and So speaking to the other girls next to the smashed wall}

SO AND SO: Not now, you guys. I'm babysitting.

{Close up on Cheerleader}

CHEERLEADER: Oh, we know how to babysit... {grows hypnotic eyes and fangs, and pulls out a cell phone and several volumes of "Dem Boys"} I'll call EACH AND EVERY BOY!!

{Cut to What's Her Face}

WHAT'S HER FACE: I'll eat all their food!

{Cut to The Ugly One, wearing a crown and a ruffled collar, holding a remote}

THE UGLY ONE: Just call me the queen of pay-per-view! {throws off the crown and collar and pushes the remote buttons} I think Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight!

{Cut back to shot of So and So talking to Cheerleader (holding the cell phone), What's Her Face and The Ugly One (holding the remote)}

SO AND SO: SHHH! Keep it down! The baby is studying for the SAT.

{Cut to baby Timkins, under a pile of four books labeled "babySAT"}

TIMKINS: Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. {raises finger} Are all goo goos wah wahs?

{Cut to an annoyed Cheerleader, holding her cell phone. Her dress now reads "The future Ms. Thang".}

CHEERLEADER: Dag! None of my regulars are picking up! Let's see who on my B-list!

{The phone rings, and the screen splits to show a plumber answering the call on a plunger.}

PLUMBER: Uh, Buttcrack Plumbing!

CHEERLEADER: Hi Randy! I'm babysittin' tonight. Wanna come over and sneak in through the back window?

PLUMBER: And this is for a how many gallon toilet, ma'am?

CHEERLEADER: Bring all your hot friends... they've got two pantries!!!

{A toilet with a beret, a mustache, and a loaf of french bread crushes Cheerleader with a plunger.}


CHEERLEADER: So dignified!

{Cut to What's Her Face standing between the two pantries}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Wow! 2 pantries! I'll have me a diet soda I s'pose.

{So and So enters, livid with a giant mouth and fangs.}

SO AND SO: STOP! How many of those have you had?!?!

WHAT'S HER FACE: {annoyed} Uh, negative one sip.

{So and So holds up a textbook entitled, "urban legends i mean health class"}

SO AND SO: Don't you remember health class? You'll microwave the baby!!

WHAT'S HER FACE: {holding up a "Diet Brown" can} This is Diet Brown, not PCP.

{The Ugly One slides into the room. What's Her Face and So and So look surprised.}

THE UGLY ONE: Did somebody say Peacey P? I LOVES the Peacey P!

{Cut to Peacey P, wearing a jersey labeled, "☮y P", standing with Olympic Man (with a blurred jersey)}

PEACEY P: Crample-o stow wha clamminuh whaow. My new album drop next sursdai. Ya'll biscuitheads.

{The Ugly One enters with a (Peacesign)y necklace, and a pencil and notepad.}

THE UGLY ONE: Can a sista get an autograph?

{Olympic Man dangles The Ugly One off a balcony}


THE UGLY ONE: That's it?

{Zoom out as The Ugly One is dropped from the balcony into a "bayonet tailgate party"}


THE UGLY ONE: That's better!

{Cut to So and So holding a dirty diaper and yelling at baby Timkins}

SO AND SO: What kinda dirty diaper is this?! I told you to alphabetize this stuff!

{Cut to Front Door. A surprised So and So is leaning in, still holding the diaper}


THE POLICE: {from behind the door} Open up! It's the police!

{Cut to a terrified So and So jumping in the air, dropping the diaper}

SO AND SO: AHH! THE POPO! I can't do another nickel!

{So and So jumps into the kitchen sink as background music begins to play.}


{Cut to a shot of the garbage disposal in the sink, with evil eyes and fangs}


{Cut to a grinning So and So in the garbage disposal, dancing with a plate, a spoon, a piece of broccoli and a carrot.}


{All but So and So's arm disappears}


{So and So's arm disappears. The plate, spoon, broccoli and carrot look surprised. Music stops and is replaced by the theme music. Cut to the Front Door, where What's Her Face has let two policemen into the house.}

WHAT'S HER FACE: Can I help you gentlemen?

POLICEMAN 1: Uh, yes, ma'am. We got a report of us wanting to watch the Ola Toya fight. You mind if we investigate?

POLICEMAN 2: {holding up a packet labeled "Snack Mix"} I brought snack mix.

{Cut to a "confidential" envelope out of which three game cards are removed.}


{Cut to a life-sized Snak Mix bag with a monocle, who clubs What's Her Face with a pretzel stick}

WHAT'S HER FACE: OW! MY STYLE! (or lack thereof)

{Cut to Momkins, the two policemen, and baby Timkins sitting on a couch watching TV}

TV ANNOUNCER: ...anuddah vicious right!!!

POLICEMAN 1: I need to put an APB out on some microwave popcorn.

POLICEMAN 2: {looking at Momkins} I'd like to report a very good-looking robot prospector.

MOMKINS: Awww, shush!

{Brief pause. The music stops}

TIMKINS: {pointing at Policeman 1} You're not my real father!

{Cut to the usual "It's over!" screen}


Easter Eggs

  • Click on the "O" at the end to see a promo for Peacey P's new album.
{The Crample-O Stow Records logo appears. The logo is a gold hand making a C shape in a gold circle. The logo shines a few times. Hip hop music plays in the background}
ANNOUNCER: Crample-O Stow Records presents...
{Peacy P's album appears}
ANNOUNCER: ..."Deliberance", the new album from Peacey P...
{As the announcer says the following words, they appear in yellow zig-zags}
ANNOUNCER: ...featuring: Large Craig, featuring: The Overripe MC, featuring: Tenerence Love, featuring: Akryllix & 3rd Lung, featuring: Peacey P!
PEACEY P: I'm a guest star on my own album, ya'll biscuitheads!
{The words "Drops Next Sursdai!" appear in a red oval at the bottom. Music fades out.}

Fun Facts


  • PCP, also known as angel dust, is a recreational drug.
  • Eau de Toilette is French for "water for washing in the bathroom." It is commonly mistranslated as "toilet water."
  • APB stands for all points bulletin, a broadcast issued from one law enforcement agency to another, typically containing information about a wanted suspect.
  • The SAT Reasoning Test is a test that is frequently taken prior to entry into college in America.
    • Timkins's line "Goo goo is ga-ga. Wah wah is ga-ga. Are all goo goos wah wahs?" is a syllogism of the form "All X are Y. All Z are Y. Are all X Z?" The answer is no. Syllogisms are often found on the SAT.
  • A "nickel" is slang for a 5-year prison sentence.


  • This is the first Teen Girl Squad issue to use a cold open instead of starting immediately with the opening title sequence.
  • This is the first Teen Girl Squad issue since issue #9 to kill off all four girls within its main plot.
  • This is the first TGS issue since issue #7 in which Strong Bad does not work a variation of himself into the comic.


  • The '2 pantries' are actually one pantry with a reverse image next to it.
  • During the title theme, So And So is not listed with the others as they burst in, as she was already present in the house.

Fixed Goofs

  • Tompkins's name was misspelled as "Tomkins" through the entire toon, except in the Snack Mix sequence ("Tompkins' Parlor").
  • When Cheerleader was saying to sneak in through the back window, the text read "the through," while she said "through the."

Inside References

  • What's Her Face comments about the loss of her style.
  • When Tompkins pushes the buttons on his Game Boy to feed his virtual pet, the text "m.a.s.h." appears.
    • When The Ugly One pushes the buttons on her universal remote, the text t.a.p.s. appears, spoofing the mashing go reference.
  • So and So saying "I can't do another nickel!" is in reference to Teen Girl Squad Issue 11 when So and So was in jail for shoplifting.
  • Tompkins's mom's name ends with -erson.
  • This issue contains several words ending in "'d".

Real-World References

  • Tompkins's virtual pet resembles a Tamagotchi.
  • Peacey P's name resembles Eazy-E, and his voice and singing style is very similar to that of Snoop Dogg.
  • So and So's line "You'll microwave the baby!!" and the book of urban legends she is holding reference the urban legend of a stoned babysitter mistaking a baby for a roast.
  • The lines about the Snack Mix prior to What's Her Face's demise are based on the board game Clue.
  • The title of the short is a reference to comedian Robin Harris's "Bébé's Kids" stand-up comedy act. After his death, his routine was adapted into a movie, also called "Bébé's Kids", the first animated feature with a majority African-American cast.
  • "Ding dong. Ding dong, yo." is a reference to a line from the video for "Fat" by "Weird Al" Yankovic.
  • Dangling The Ugly One over the balcony is a reference to Vanilla Ice's claim that rap record producer Marion "Suge" Knight hung him up upside down on a hotel balcony in order to get Vanilla Ice to turn over his royalties. This relates to the rapper Peacey P shown earlier in the episode.
  • When the policemen arrive, So and So thinks she is in legal trouble, but all the policemen want is to watch the fight on Pay-per-view. This is a take of a similar scene in Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment when Eddie and Lou arrive to watch the fight on Homer's illegal cable hookup.
  • The PSOne is a smaller and redesigned version of the PlayStation video game console, which was produced by Sony Computer Entertainment in the mid-1990s.
  • "Ola Toya is fighting Camptown Jr. at Caesar's tonight" is a reference to the De La Hoya-Mayweather Jr. Fight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas in May 2007.
  • Caesars is a casino brand owned by Harrah's Entertainment.
  • Olympic Man's blurred jersey is a reference to how trademarked logos on hats and shirts are often blurred in rap videos, especially on music channels such as MTV, which have strict policies on such logos.

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